cruiseguys2009

I was on the same cruise with my family but we never witnessed any of these events on the ship. I don't know how we managed to missed out on these Tinkles haha.

 

I only heard about the medical emergency in Tortola from talking with another passenger during breakfast the next morning.

 

JW, we were actually standing right in front of you while we waited out the rain in Nassau. It was my kid who recognized you from a video we watched before we left home. I couldn't recognize you cuz you looks much thinner in person 😀

 

Looking to forward to more tinkles.

I remember your child was looking up at me while we were under the shelter in the rain, but I stopped to chat with the couple on The Majesty of the Seas who were interested in The Norwegian Escape. I wish you would have said "Hello!" I would have loved to have spoken with you.

We love the idea of Vibe and hope we can get passes....we didn't learn about Vibe until after we had already checked in a picked our boarding time. So we went back and change the time and the earliest we could get is between 12:00 - 12:30. I'm curious...I'm sure it's not the same but how is the Ho2 during the day? It's adults only during the day correct?

 

Thanks!

Spice H2O is in the Aft (rear) of the ship and has signs posted "ADULTS ONLY until 6PM. Children under 18 not admitted". It is a calm and serene location, has a wonderful bar and a water feature that is like a grotto with water falls that trickle all over your body. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. . We were either at Spice H2O or up at VIBE Lite, which is located just on the other side of the glass doors leading into VIBE and uses the same bar and crew as found in VIBE, has the same water features but no padded chaise loungers, almost as nice as VIBE without the exclusivity, and saved us $200. Funny thing was, once we set up shop, some of the folks that actually were lucky enough to get VIBE passes ended up sitting out with us for a while, so we felt included.

Was it the tall, grey haired fellow that was on the ship?

Yes, he was the tall, (Phyllis Diller style) Grey Haired Gentleman, who looked like Howard Stern, had the Mouth of Howard Stern (Probably that runs in the family) and had the demeanor of Howard Stern, but was a lovable teddy bear all the same, who also happens to be a famous MBA Basketball star too boot.

Was there a Howard Stern group cruise? Maybe that explains things.

Just to clarify.

Howard Stern was not aboard the ship, his cousin was, who happens to be a famous MBA Basketball player. This man was funny, engaging, dirty potty mouth, filthy story teller (The Best Ever!) and Jerome and I had a blast with him. I have a great story to tell coming up about our first night in Cagney's with him at the next table.

Stay Tuned everybody!

After only a few days, a group of us began calling this "The Jimmy Cruise" because the punk (his name was Jimmy) you referenced who dove into the pool from deck 17 then broke the cigar lounge door should have been thrown off the ship way before Nassau.

 

Every single day Jimmy was the talk of the ship as he bragged about smoking in his cabin (another fine to his credit card), taking drugs, being drunk 24/7, starting several fights, and ultimately sent to his cabin with security only to climb over the balcony railing to try and escape via another cabin...ugh.

 

While it didn't ruin my cruise, it sure was scary when he was around. I personally witnessed a couple of his antics and other VERY bad passenger behavior during the week.

 

I look forward to following this latest review, JW especially your humorous take on certain events.

 

Tracy

Oh my Gawd, Tracy, right? Bad Passenger Behavior was certainly abundant throughout the cruise, and none of it was from me, gosh dangit! I can't take credit for any of it..............but, I certainly can write about "Certain Events" and how funny they were. I just can't wait.................I am Tinkling to think about it!

A Forward, to the Completion of The JW and Jerome's Adventures:

First I would like to give a big shout out to Rusty (baryton) for producing an amazing and well attended Cruise Critic Roll Call Meet and Greet Event (Over 100 people) and for coordinating a fantastic slot pull. The Officers and Senior Crew of the Norwegian Escape showed up to the Meet and Greet in full force and were outgoing, generous of their time, provided multifaceted expertise, and answered the throngs of questions the group had.

What a week folks. We can't make this stuff up, truly. Jerome and I had so much fun, but wait, there was so much outrageous passenger drama on board, that had nothing to do with Norwegian Cruise Lines, it was hysterically one thing after another, in a "You've Got To Be Kidding" moment after moment. For once, JW had nothing to do with all the drama on board. Jerome was proud of Trouble not getting in to trouble, well too much trouble, there was a few times...............but more on that later.

But First, there was the free-for-all boarding disaster at the Port with so many folks, not authorized (and no one stopping them), cutting into the special Pre-Boarding lines of Back-To-Back, The Haven and Special Needs. Once they announced the numerical boarding calls, everyone pushed and rushed to the boarding area, regardless of their number and it was a chaotic mess. First time ever to witness such disarray and discourse in The Port of Miami.

Then there was the disappointing, disorganized VIBE debacle that allowed for one single group of 29 folks, not all present at the time, to scam the system and while they were boarding at different times, all were allowed to cut into the line in front of us, with no Officer present or position-in-line numbers given out, as had been in all previous cruises, locking most of us out from fairly getting tickets to VIBE. The rules always have been, as we understood them, were that there would be position numbers given out to form the VIBE line, until the numbers were exhausted. Total of 70 passes for each week, 50 to be sold to Guests, 20 reserved for The Haven Guest request. If members of a group were not all present, then oh well, SOL, and this was the procedure. This is not what happened. There was also, the addition of the 22 Back-To-Back cruisers that took the other half of the 50 available passes for regular Guests, leaving the other 20 out of 70 passes sold on each cruise, for The Haven Guest's. (We were glad, after all, not to get VIBE tickets, as the weather was not in our favor for most of the cruise and the Group that scammed and cut the line were off-the-chain obnoxious in VIBE.) I will address this in full, later in the continuation.

Oh my, there was the fashioned contentious, immaculately dressed woman (who changed outfits at least 5 times a day) calmly and meticulously walked up to Jerome while we were in conversation with a group of folks in the casino and grabbed his beejubees and simply said, as she held these jewels in her hand, "I am Hot for you Baby!" Then trotted off in 6 inch stilettos, catching up with her group. Shockingly wrong, frankly funny.

Minutes after our departure Tortola, we made an immediate about face and the ship turned completely around, only to find out that a guest was being medivac'd off of the ship, via high speed boat, because his cabin mate stabbed him in a jealous rage during our departure from Tortola. Can't make this stuff up, I tell ya.

There was this cross dressing male passenger (in really, really bad drag I might also say) who was traveling with his wife who was a sight to see. He was spotted by us only once at dinner and I wish to send a special note to him from Aunti JW: The next time you want to venture out cross-dressing, then I would suggest you become very good friends with a gay man before doing so, as you can get some really good, free, and, expert fashion advice for your next jaunt. You looked horrendous! Or perhaps was it a dare, or a losing bet? Me just thinks he likes to wear his wife's clothing. And by the way, where was she all that time? Funny.

Wow, this heavily imbibed (I truly hope so) passenger, in a fit of anger, punched and broke the glass door to the Smoking Room in Tobacco Road then propelled himself off the 17th floor overlook into the pool below. Needless to say he was passionately escorted by this lovely group of Security Personnel off the ship in Nassau to thankfully be permanently banned for LIFE from Norwegian. Oh, and also paying the damages to their property of two thousand dollars via his American Express before being chucked off. Yay to Norwegian!

Another Ultimate Drink Package Guest had so imbibed himself in The District that he literally fell over, off his chair, onto the floor, right in the middle of a wonderful show being concluded by John our magnificent British Pianist host. I will tell you that I have so much more to write on this later, but the quick thinking server, Jack, came to the Guest's aid with a wheelchair, and, I might add, him being the only crew member to do so. All the while, another "Corporate" Norwegian passenger, on company business sat idly by at her table, mere inches away from the Guest on the floor, drinking her expensive bottle of beer, perhaps on the company dime because she announced she was on "official" business, as if nothing happened and she could care less. The optics were not good on this one folks, not good at all. The company I work for, I represent 100% of the time, on the clock or off the clock, on property or off property. Reputation is everything whether it be mine or my company's. Concern and compassion for my Guest is all encompassing, all the time, ever promoting my company in these days of fierce competition, and this Norwegian "Corporate" woman desperately needs to learn it.

Or how about on our last night in Tappenyaki. Here Jerome and I had just enjoyed one of the best meals of the week, and this drunk, deranged, disorderly, disgraceful passenger comes in hurling dishes from another table at us because her cabin mate did not wait to have dinner with her. Dishes were crashing on the floor and against the wall behind us, as we all shockingly ducked from her demonizing outrageous behavior. This was the last night of the cruise, the last thing we did before retiring to bed, and what better way to end the vacation with a strange mad woman hurling dishes and obscenities at us? On our last night, Jerome was not having a cocktail in Tobacco Road, no siree. He was filling out security forms, still shaking from the hoopla.

I wish they would come out with a new cruise ship television reality series. What we encountered is the best comedic stuff that actually happened, and wait, there is so much more! Oh my gosh, I haven't even scratched the surface of our times aboard The Norwegian Escape.

Jerome and I actually did have an overall fun, amazing time. We also appreciated, and highly commend, the professional manner most of the Norwegian staff handled each of these situations and understand completely that they are committed to all of our safety, enjoyment, excitement and our vacation.

Lots of Tinkle to come!

Hello All!

Jerome and I have returned home. We got right off The Norwegian Escape in true "JW" fashion, being one of the first early walk-offs at 7:30AM. Whizzed through customs. Wait, was that a correct word, Whizzed? That sounds like a Tinkle meaning word............anyway..........that's what we did............I guess I should have said Breezed (But I didn't feel appropriate to mention a Carnival ship) through Customs and we were in the car by 7:50AM and home by 9:45AM

Jerome is currently unpacking our steamer trunks and I now have to get to work to fill these Cruise Critic pages with some of the most unusual, funny, unique, (plus a couple of not-so-good but redeemable) moments and most important, let everyone know about our take on two totally different sailings just a few weeks apart, with two mostly different Senior Officers and new Crew Members, as well as a completely different passenger mix. A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PASSENGER MIX FROM WHAT SEEMED ANOTHER PLANET, I would like to add.

There were some amazing moments, several hysterical moments, a couple of Tinkle till I drop episodes, three shockingly bizarre stories to tell, along with new discoveries on this wonderful ship. I am also going to present my NORWEGIAN STARS for Outstanding Guest Service to many deserving crew who tirelessly go above and beyond every single day.

I just wanted to add, really quick for those sailing soon, The Norwegian Escape is an amazing ship. There is plenty to do, incredible journeys to take and the Crew is exceptional at professionally accommodating any wish you need.

The theme throughout Part Two will be "If you have an issue, no matter how small, SPEAK UP AND LET THE OFFICERS KNOW!" They are always visible and have a true desire to talk and really love to hear feedback, positive or not so positive. I was amazed how quickly issues were resolved, you'll get to read all about what I mean later.

I guess what I am trying to say is don't stay mum as an oyster and most certainly "Don't Get Off The Ship and Take It Home With You". The Crew is there to SERVE and to PLEASE. It is your hard earned vacation dollars being spent and I hope to be a positive conduit through my experiences and escapades to help ya all navigate and enjoy your time on the ship as well.

Remember, no matter what happens, a cruise is a cruise is a cruise, and I would rather be on a cruise.

And one more thing before I have to leave you for a day or two to begin to compile our "Adventures". There is one thing that a cruise line, any cruise line, cannot control:

The Weather. That is the big guy upstairs' responsibility. Hey, we booked during Hurricane Season and this is a very real possibility for Caribbean and Hawaiian sailings May through November (but really late August thru early October). Safety first, always. I get a kick out of the screamers banging their hands at Guest Service yelling "It's a Travesty and their vacation is ruined!", because of a weather related incident, perhaps missing a port or an incremental change (Which did not happen on this sailing). We got some intermittent showers from the developing weather system but our Captain was fabulous, and sailed us right into St Thomas and Tortola when all the other ships abandoned those ports of call because their thoughts were that the system would develop. Our illustrious Captain apparently knew how to read and calculate weather charts better than the competition. We had the islands to ourselves. It did rain, some excursions were cancelled (including ours) and like clockwork, many Guests marched right to Guest Services and loudly complained that it was raining and it was Norwegian's fault. I kid you not. I wanted to have a "Cher" moment with a couple of these boobs. You know, the movie with Nicolas Cage, Moonstruck, when Cher slaps him in the face saying "SNAP OUT OF IT!"

More than once on this cruise I felt the urge, deep inside my inner self, to complete this task, but sadly refrained.................................you'll see.

"Hello Vodka?", "It's Auntie JW Calling." "Jerome and Auntie will be joining you tomorrow for eight wonderful days on The Norwegian Escape, Part 2 of Auntie JW and Uncle Jerome's Adventure". "We've missed you darling and can't wait to see you." "We can't believe it's been six whole weeks since we last saw you"

"What's that, dear?" "Oh Vodka, we love you too!" "We are bringing Hundreds of our closest friends from all over the world to meet you baby!" "Oh, You are so sweet!" "Yes you will be in Mixed Company" "Yes, The Martini's and Gibson's are both coming". "Oh Vodka, you are naughty!" "What did Auntie JW tell you, we must be nice to The Manhattan's, Johnny Walker and to Mr. Jack Daniels, even though they are Old Fashioned!"

"Love You Sweetie, See you tomorrow!, Kisses to everyone!"

JW and Jerome's Adventures on The Norwegian Escape

........will return in 8 days, as we take a break and sail on Part Two on The Norwegian Escape.

I thought I would throw that dream sequence in to have a little fun with ya'all. Jerome and I had a good laugh last night as we were flipping through the channels on the television when I came across The Poseidon Adventure! How funny, after I just wrote about it. Goes to show me, the Spirit of Shelly Winters was coming for revenge! My mom used to say "Ya talk about the Devil, and the Devil shows up! So don't gossip!"

Jerome and I are so excited (and I am just about to Tinkle as always) to board the Escape tomorrow and we also wanted to take the time to let everyone know how truly grateful we are that you have been following along with our little journey.

I promise not to disappoint, as I already have the Entertainment and Restaurant part one completed, just waiting for the part two comparisons. I am also on the look out for the new folks I can write about....tee hee!

We will be happy to return to the Cruise Critic Boards on Monday the 29th! Hopefully some of our friends can keep bumping the thread back to page one while we are away, as rest assured, I am sure a couple of you will need a JW fix! Oh, the fervor of anticipation it will create until we get back!

You all have been truly fabulous. So once again, "Sir Hot Lady Lose A Lot of The Motion of The Ocean, Queen of The Norwegian Escape", bids you Bon Voyage!

The day before the night before the afternoon of the day before then:

After my Jackpot win, Jerome and I went down to The Manhattan Supper Club (inclusive dining) for our pre-reserved dinner reservation, having heard so much about the awesome, retro style of the "Club"-like atmosphere, with such a 1960's-70's flair. Oh goodness gracious me!

The wonderfully beautiful Host (who I described here earlier, with the truly romantically and seductively gorgeous voice, who secured my dining reservations for the week while I was in line waiting for my VIBE passes) magically welcomed us to the establishment. We waited briefly for her to read her computer screen and then she turned to one of her seating partners, discretely giving them instructions and then advising us to please follow them to our table for the evening. "Have a marvelous evening" she said. That was interesting. I turned to Jerome, "Have a marvelous evening?" I said, repeating her words. "Isn't that incredible?", so Retro in style, "Marvelous evening." I think we will.

The atmosphere of The Manhattan Room can only be described as Retro, Fabulously Gay, and Darkly Grandiose. Very 1960's-70's grand. As if Frank Sinatra will appear at any moment tonight, subbing for his old pal Dean Martin, who certainly would be over imbibing at our table, of course. Band playing, crisp linens on the tables, candlelight mesmerizing the ambiance. Flawlessly romantic. Wow.

I could feel the deep warmth of the room as I entered. Was anyone else acutely aware of the design intentions and showmanship of this incredible night club experience and ambiance? On the outskirts, on either side of the atrium, there are smaller, singular seating areas that accommodate larger families and groups. In the center of the restaurant is this gorgeous, three story tall, glass enclosed atrium dining room, complete with a stage, a huge dance floor, a spectacular plate glass aft view, replete with a wall of windows that perhaps at 6 o'clock in the evening, would provide early diners immense, romantic views of the wake of this awesome lady, The Norwegian Escape, plying the Atlantic. And of course, I digress.

But wait. Overlooking the main dining room of this Manhattan Restaurant, behind luscious privacy curtains, a full level above, are both Moderno, up to the left and Cagney's Steak House, up and overlooking the room to the right. If one is fortunate to be seated in the central Atrium, "On The Dance Floor" as if in the 1960's or 70's Brat Pac era, the feeling is overwhelmingly like being a real VIP, or very Special. We are transported back in time, seated in a spectacular, sophisticated, classic fine dining establishment, warranting the finest of china, the finest of attitudes and the finest of service. It takes my breath away.

We are escorted to a table in the center of the dance floor area. You might say, ringside, so as to have a full view of the band, the stage, the dance floor, the romance. It's like one of those 1960's movie sets, when the star of the show might come and sit at my table for a cocktail after their performance. Oh I felt like such a Queen, yep, you betcha!

I turned to Jerome and said, gosh, can you believe I actually won a jackpot tonight? He nodded in agreement, as the band played, and the sultry blonde singer was romantically engaging the crowd. Wait, I know that song............"Morning after......." Several couples were up dancing.

"Hey Jerome", devious little me said, "Wanna wreck 'em?" "Let's dance!" Jerome frowned at me, knowing that I would never compromise my behavior and "for real" attitude. He knows that I would never make a conscientious decision to allow anyone else to be made to feel uncomfortable with us dancing together during the family dinner hour.

When it's Disco time later on, when it's all grown ups, perhaps yes. Dinner for several hundred, and kids, emphatically no. I would not want the responsibility of a Dad to be forced to have to explain the acceptance of a new version of the Birds and the Bees to their kids because we might dance together at dinner time. The youngster will learn soon enough, about ALL the Birds and the Bees, just not on their (or my) vacation.

What is that song called, it's so familar. Dah, Dah, Dah, Dah Dah ....Morning After" "It's waiting right outside the door"......at this point our server appears at the table (Gosh, he is a cutie, looks like a young Roddy McDowell) and introduces himself to us as "Akers." "Gentlemen", he proceeds, "Can I perhaps interest you in a cocktail this evening?" "Heck yes!" I said and proceeded to ask for "The Tallest, Driest, Coldest, Grey Goose Martini, Straight Up with a half dozen olives, Paleeeese!" Akers gave me such an inquisitive look, very puzzled, and said "Beg your pardon, Sir", "But what is a Grey Goose?"

I just about died, while I was in a quandary at Akers' question, I then, suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I spotted a round table of eight well dressed folks, and they were all movie stars. Movie Stars I tell ya! "Jerome, look over there!" I exclaimed. " That's Gene Hackman!" "And Lookie!" "There's Shelly Winters", "Oh my goodness, she is so much bigger in person" (Please don't tell anyone I said that, oh my, I could not believe I said that.) Seated next to Shelly Winters was Jack Albertson. I just loved him in Chico and The Man (Gosh, remember Freddie Prinz, how fantastic was he and such a life cut short.) "Red Buttons!" "Jerome, is he gay?" "Wow", I went on and on, "Look at all the Celebrities!" "All having dinner here with us tonight." "Wait, what?" I said to myself, "Aren't they all dead? No worries, they are here with us tonight!

"Look, over there, it's Susan Dey!" I had such a phony crush on Susan Dey when I was younger. I was forced to plaster my walls with her posters from Tiger Beat, just to throw off the "Gay" scent from my mother, when all the while, my real Partridge Family Love was secretly tucked securely under my bed. I hid all the posters of my true idol at the time, David Cassidy. Oh Please, if you are a gal from the 70's you know what I am talking about. And if you are a guy from the 70's ya loved Susan Dey too.

Oh shut up!

Susan Dey was right there having dinner at the next table and by the way, what was Gene Hackman's character name? Oh Yeah, Reverend Scott! We were smack in the middle of the dining room scene from The Poseidon Adventure! and................ "Oh My Gawd", "Jerome Look, it's Christmas In July!!!!" "Look at that gorgeous Blue Christmas Tree constructed out of steel!" "It's Fabulous!" Oh wait. Didn't Shelly Winters exclaim in the film "Manny! I'm Stuck, I'm Stuck, I'm too fat to climb a Christmas Tree!"

I just remembered the song! "There's Got To Be A Morning After!" and that sultry blonde was performing it right on stage this very minute. "Oh, Can't You See The Morning After".............."Safe and Waaarm!"

______________________

Where is Akers and my Martini? I thought.

"Hey Jerome", I said, as I got up from my chair, "I am going to go over and ask Reverend Scott (Gene Hackman), since he is such a renegade Priest, if he will marry us on the ship, what do you think?" Jerome just kind of looked at me, like a deer in headlights.

As I started to make my way over to the Celebrity Table to ask Gene Hackman if he would kindly marry us, I suddenly heard a countdown........"Ten..............Nine...............Eight.............Seven...............Six

"JW". "JW", I thought to myself, what is going on, the sea is really rocking........"Five...............Four................Three"

"Jay Double You!" I heard Jerome's voice, louder, concerned. "Wake Up, JW, you are having a nightmare!" "Honey, wake up!" He was by this time, shaking me. I opened my eyes, not sure of my surroundings and I yelled out loud "Two...............One, Happy New Year!"

Jerome was laying in bed by my side, he had turned the lights on, and was very concerned as I was drenched with a cold sweat, breathing erratically, and mumbling, then singing and finally loudly counting in my sleep. "JW, you were having a bad dream, are you alright?" Jerome said, consoling me.

"What?" "What do you mean?" "I don't know, I am confused." I said. I felt queezy, uneasy. "Where am I?" "Oh wait", I turned to Jerome and said, "We are on the Escape, right?" "Yes," he said and continued, "You were singing 'There's Got To Be A Morning After' from the movie The Poseidon Adventure" and mumbling something about getting married, then loudly and slowly counting down as you were asleep, as if it were New Years Eve." "Oh Lordie", Jerome said, "Tell me you were not dreaming that we were on The New Years Eve Sailing of the SS Poseidon?"

"I, uh, think so", I hesitantly said, "Funny thing was, since I won this jackpot in the Casino, you and I went to dinner in the Manhattan Club to celebrate." I continued, "I saw all the big movie stars of The Poseidon Adventure sitting over at a table, the gal was singing "Morning After" with the band on stage, and there was even a Christmas In July, three story Christmas Tree set up, just like in the movie". I went on to say that "I came up with a great idea, and wanted Gene Hackman to marry us and as I was on my way over to the table to ask him if he would, (Oh! and by the way, that Shelly Winters was ginormous in person), I heard the countdown to New Years, and then you woke me up."

Jerome said, "Well JW, if you remember, we have not been to The Manhattan Club for dinner yet, we ate in Taste tonight." Then Jerome, after a very pregnant pause, came out with........ "Jackpot?" Jerome said, "Jackpot?" "What Jackpot?"

As if..............."Jerome, I won a Jackpot in the Casino tonight." Jerome highly puzzled, looks at me and says, "What happened JW?" "Did you hit your little head as you got off the subway on deck 8 tonight?" "JW, what the heck are you talking about?"

Oh my. Was it a dream? Was it all just a dream?

Or was it.......................real. Hmmmm.

Here is a little stroll down memory lane for everyone................Love you!

You all know that every good novella has a dream sequence.

JW, do you happen to know if the Holland House still offers the beach rate to use their loungers? I believe it used to be $20pp for a lounger and 2 beers.

Yes, yes they do and they are the best of the best. The very handsome Beach Attendants from Australia will provide two comfortable padded loungers, a beach umbrella and a bucket of mixed beverages (Beers and Soda, but mixed cocktails ~ yeah baby are also available) plus bathroom privileges for two, (yes you have to pay to pee) all for, I think, $25 now. But the price usually depends on the ships in port. Also, The Holland House has one of the best box lunch menu selections brought to you on the beach.

Oh, and don't forget the "Aloe" Massage Ladies!

These ladies patrol the beach, and will give Aloe Foot Massages for $20. Just do it! It is absolutely incredible!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Best $20 I ever spent.

Once you have enjoyed the Holland House's facilities, then mosey on over to The Blue Bitch Bar to enjoy getting Bitch Slapped, their signature shot. Two of these and you will fly on your own accord back to the ship, guaranteed. Yes the bar's name is really The Blue Bitch Bar.

Here is a picture of me getting Bitch Slapped just before I took off my clothes and danced with the steel drum band there on the boardwalk, see, no Tequila for me, ever!........

My husband and I were on your June cruise, and I wish we would have known you were there. If you had gone to the Meet and Greet I would have recognized you. Would of loved to have shared a couple of martinis. We were a few weeks apart on our past Reflection cruises I believe also. We sailed when the Pied Piper group did their post Thanksgiving cruise and had the most amazing time. Never danced with so many men at a time in the Sky lounge in my life! Great time, but would have enjoyed seeing you in the Martini bar along with the Hat Lady! Thanks so much for your information on CAS. Going to sign up when we get onboard Getaway in a few weeks for 14 nights. BTW, we were told the crew now has incentive programs that have helped in their service attitude with passengers. I thought the level of service from crew was outstanding on the Escape. Hope you and Jerome have another fantastic time. Cheers!

Jerome and I didn't participate on that Roll Call for the June 20th Escape sailing as we were trying to be incognito with Norwegian, but it didn't work. As soon as we checked in they had me flagged and I knew once the first batch of Chocolate Covered Strawberries appeared, it was over.

That being said, I am glad they flagged me, because all the more reason for the Crew to be on the top of their game, not with me mind you, but with the level of service going on around me. My observations of others receiving constant Guest Satisfaction on that sailing, elevated my own experience ten fold. I truly enjoy watching dedicated professionals in our industry giving a commitment to, and with a loving attitude, take care of The Guest.

However, that being said, yes I too am upset that we did not run into each other. It's a pretty big ship, and so much to do, and that is why we loved VIBE so much. We had developed our own intimate group, kind of like a club, with about 70 members participating, where we would catch up with each other, have a few cocktails, and tell really dirty jokes!

I am looking forward to our next week's Adventures to continue with the saga, and I was excited to hear about this little bit of "Incentive" news the Crew is being provided with. Which goes to show, "If You Take Care of Your Associates[Crew], Your Associates[Crew] Will Take Care of The Guest. And The Guest Will Take Care of The Bottom Line" JW Marriott Well, experiencing it first hand, it works!

I will be posting JW and Jerome's 2017 Cruise Sailing Schedule once we return from this trip on The Escape, shortly after August the 28th. Perhaps you can join us?

Great hearing from you again!

JW and Jerome.

Thanks for the advice. I am going to be so sad if I don't get Vibe passes now. Hope you have a wonderful vacation! We changed our flight and are now staying at the Marriott Friday! ALL for those Vibe passes!! Planning to get to Port at 9:30! My document d time is 11:00!! I cannot wit for this trip!

Don't worry, if you check in by 10AM you will be fine, and since you are a CAS VIP, no one will question your early check in time. I know you will get the VIBE passes. You will love it! Please also check back in here with me after you sail so we can chit chat like little girls about our VIBE experiences. :D

JW, I am still enjoying your adventures. Is the $$$$$$ amount in what your machine paid out an indication you won 6 figures? :eek:

Nope, sorry, not that much. Gosh I wish.:D

And you already know that Jerome and I will be The Escape with you as well. So excited for you two!

If it doesn't work out to "Live" Streaming, once you have recorded the ceremony, then in two days, when we get to our first port, St Maarten, take the water taxi over to the Boardwalk, and take a short walk over to The Holland House Hotel located right there on the bay.

From there, relax at the bar with a morning libation or three, and send the footage via complimentary and super fast wifi. We did that with another couple on a cruise this past year who could not stream their ceremony live on the ship and this worked out great! Plus, we had many, many (many) great cocktails and soaked up the St Maarten sun that morning before venturing over to Maho Bay, lunching it at The Sunset Bar and Grill and watched the jets come in.

If I am boarding with CAS, what are my chances of getting Vibe passes?!

Get to The Port of Miami early, fortunately on the sailing we are on this Saturday, our approved check in window is 9:30AM-10:30AM. However, just get to the port early. I have spoken to about a hundred folks, on various cruises, and if you are in one of the first 12 boarding groups, you have the best chance of getting VIBE passes.

This is what we do: Once we are on board The Escape, we will hightail it to the Headliners Comedy Club and get a number (they only offer 70 passes per sailing), which secures our spot in line, for the privilege of purchasing VIBE passes ($99.00 per person for the week, charged to your On Board Account). I have been told that on some sailings, the passes were all sold out by Boarding Group 9, and on other sailings, passes were still available after boarding Group 16. When I thought about it, how many folks really want to spend an additional $100 buck a person, so your chances are very good at getting a spot in line. Don't stress it.

On The Breakaway and Getaway, the venue where VIBE tickets are sold is different than on The Escape. So as you are boarding, ask the Crew members you will see where the VIBE tickets are being sold so you are directed appropriately.

If by some reason you don't get the VIBE passes, then on the other side of the VIBE walled glass entrance (Deck 19) is a similar sunning spot, complete with a bar and several uncrowded water features that are just as nice, and the space is certainly nicer than the very crowded, shoulder to shoulder, main pool below. The loungers don't have cushions, but there is still cocktail service.

In my opinion, I love VIBE and we are planning to enjoy it again next week. If I were traveling solo, or just with other adults, VIBE is a great place to relax and meet others, have great conversations, enjoy the water features and the service, and of course.............SHOT O"CLOCK!, all without the wrangling for deck chairs at prime time. I can always be assured of a lounger. I don't have to be a chair hog or deal with them. I can come and go as I please, and are part of a "Cheers"-like environment, where everyone knows my name and Martini's are my game!

Plus, in a smaller group environment, even the most shy will be exceptionally comfortable and not stressed. The welcoming environment is easy going and the atmosphere in VIBE is so relaxing that right from the get-go, after the life boat drill, if ya get a VIBE pass, that is where you want to be for sail-a-way! The first Shot O'Clock is the best Shot O'Clock. It's like the first day at school, only with alcohol! After the third day, everyone is kinda like best friends and we worry about each other when someone is missing................funny, everyone I have talked to since our first Escape Adventure sailing a couple of months ago, are all the folks we met in VIBE.

Here is a wonderful book I am going to read while I am in VIBE next week, though I never seem to get past chapter one:

Hi there! i am loving this review!! I noticed you mentioned a few times that you cruised the Epic, but maybe had a horrible experience... Can you point me in the direction of that review, if you did one?

I did not do a review of our EPIC experience, however, I have touched on several points of what happened to us on that fateful Thanksgiving sailing in a couple of detailed posts earlier on this Adventure story.

I will say that, in my opinion, the company (NCL) operates noticeably different between what we experienced on our EPIC fail a couple of years ago and this, our Norwegian Escape Experience reported here. I believe that the most important visible change is that the culture of the Crew now includes the ability to empower these individuals to immediately address and resolve Guest issues as well as the Senior Staff visibly solicits ideas and contributions from the Crew to better the Guest experience.

It seemed to me, that the cultural norm for most of the Crew members we came across on The Escape, is that they are encouraged to go out of their way to please a Guest or resolve an issue first, on their own, before having the issue elevated to a higher level. Thus developing more inter-personal relationships between the Guest and Crew. It looked as though the Crew were more engaging and had an attitude to "Want" to care. We witnessed this refreshing change multiple times a day.

I so look forward to sailing next week, to again see, if my experience holds firm, and is consistent what I believe Norwegian is striving to be.

We'll see, won't we?..............Yes, most definitely.

J.W. Your reviews are absolutely the best! You sound like you have a blast and I would love to sail along on one of your journeys I am certain I would enjoy it very much alongside you in the casino.

 

Your win sounds so exciting and truly amazing - now I know someone actually does win the Mega Jackpots on the cruises.

 

I can't wait to hear about your new adventures from your sailing next week. Jerome can't say he leads a dull life with you around.

 

I hope you win big on the infamous mystery slot machine!

 

Enjoy! Thanks for your very entertaining review.

Why thank you so much, how wonderfully sweet of you.

As for Jerome, how do you think I got the nickname "Trouble" from him? He is like the everlasting Fireman always carrying his hose (Easy now, I am not going there with this statement:D, although I should, as ya'all know how naughty I can be) just in case I flame too brightly and he is there to catch me in the net and put out the flame. Get it? Gay....Flame.........Flamer? Oh how I love to be witty and laugh at my own jokes until I Tinkle. ("Oh JW, it's way too early in the morning for this and I have not yet had my Espresso Martini to wake me up!")

Yes, the Casino is amazing on The Norwegian Escape, CAS and their new program is AWESOME. I encourage folks to join the CAS Players Club because one never knows. Even if a person thinks that they may not participate enough in the Casino, there still are a host of perky perks that some could miss out on, as a way of the Casino saying "Thanks". Plus it gives the Casino's At Sea a chance to introduce yourself and perhaps CAS will notice a special value in you that perhaps, you have never seen before. Not everyone is a High Roller. As I said before, "Sit" time at a machine playing just the minimum bet, could be as valuable as a high "Monetary Theoretical" or money spent in a less amount of time. Kind of like the Tortoise and the Hare.

The Tortoise is the "minimum bet", dedicated person, who enjoys the entertainment value, and "Sits" at the machines, putting time in. The Hare is Ben's Franklin's best friend and shoves lots of "Ben's" into machines, rapidly, losing here, perhaps winning there. Not spending much time in the Casino.

Both types are equally important to the overall success of the CAS program along with folks like me (The In-Betweener's) and the Casino Manager identifies who these folks are through the Players Club CAS Card. The best part is, on The Norwegian Escape Casino, I felt so comfortable with everyone. One recommendation to all from me is to definitely do one of the Slot Tournaments. They are a riot, and on The Escape, Christina is a hoot. I look at the Tourney's this way, someone is going to win and if I participate, then it could be me. (Plus I get little Gifties just for playing the tourney, and it's worth the entry fee)

Then there are the specific "Casino Players Only" sailings. Last year Jerome and I went, on one of the, supposedly "Fun" Ship (Okay, it was Carnival:eek:), on their Ultimate Premier Casino Cruise Invitational sailing. Let me tell you. These were die hard crazy casino people who would tear my heart out just to get at a certain machine! They were nuts, like, I mean, completely off the wall, unadulterated, certifiably crazy! The casino on that ship was mobbed every day and night, with pushing and shoving, overrun with the most obnoxious, battle ready, literally just bizarre folks going bonkers over playing slot machines. Never again will I ever do one of those. Not fun at all.

So anyway, Jerome and I are looking forward to once again, continue our Adventures on The Norwegian Escape, in just three days.

Here we go again!

I was just curious. We sail out on the 3rd and I am hoping to see some of your posts before we leave!

I have a long time Cruise Critic Buddy and his wife sailing along on The Escape with you on the 3rd of September as well. He too, is a well seasoned Cruise Critic cruiser and he is participating in your CC Roll Call. Our love goes out always to Rob and Kathy, famously known on Cruise Critic as "Smooky". They are truly an amazing couple, and I hope you meet them.

I will be back from The Norwegian Escape on August 28th, fresh with my usual high energy to complete the story, and write about the comparisons of our restaurant and entertainment experiences, and should have a good majority of them complete and posted before you sail.

If you get a chance to meet them, remind Kathy of our late night escapades in the Casino, her and I, on The Norwegian Dawn and see if she remembers what "The Lucky Charms" were. I swear, every time she used her lucky charms, I would win!

And that is a whole other story!

JW , Are you doing the 8 day cruise or the back to back?

Just the 8 day sailing. This time of year, the Western Caribbean is not our favorite destination, weather wise. We prefer the Western in the Winter months.

Listen to me, "Just" the 8 day. Heck, I would be happy with a two day! A cruise is a cruise is a cruise!

But you know what? With sailing on The Norwegian Escape, who cares where the ship goes, because frankly, in my opinion, this SHIP is the Destination!

Love love love your style! And wish I were on this upcoming sailing! Alas, I am going in October. Wishing you a fabulous trip this week!

 

Question....the $2 shirt pressing on Day 1.... Is that pricing for everyone or just at higher Latitudes levels. Don't want my hubby and dad to hand me the bill if I give them wrong info...lol. First time NCL cruiser...

That is a great question, however, I really don't know. On that sailing, we were still Silver Level and were not yet Gold, as we are now. I planned on having 5 cotton, button down shirts ironed regardless, but it was less than $2 per shirt, and as I recall, there was a first day "Unpacking" Special for pressing "Only" of garments and shirts at 50% off.

The instructions in the daily's were to leave the garments in the laundry bag with the laundry order slip that afternoon and the Room Steward would take it that evening at turn down. Then the pressed clothes were returned the following afternoon.

Also, we departed Miami on that sailing at 7PM and on my upcoming sailing this Saturday the 20th, we are back to 4PM. I don't know if the late departure had anything to do with the discount pressing or not, or if it is offered on all sailings. I will certainly fill you in when we get back.

There is no rhyme or reason to Sea Based Casino winning/losing slot percentages and the Sea Based Casinos do not have the strict regulations that are found in Vegas or Atlantic City, where they MUST payout a required percentage. I really believe that it is completely the luck of the draw, or perhaps maybe if the computer likes me, at that moment. Since most cruise ship Casinos offer only the newest, updated Electronic Computer Based games operating off the same identical platforms, with just different graphics and themes, I think that the computer controls the game and the eventual outcome. It's all about numbers. That being said, if the Sea Based Casinos were no fun and did not ever pay out, then they would lose a huge chunk of their revenue and would be ghost towns.

But hey, anyone who gambles for entertainment will attest that we are all just "Chasing a Dream". If we win, we win. If we lose, did we at least have fun? Was it exciting? Enjoyable? For me, The Norwegian Escape Casinos At Sea provided me an exceptional experience.

There are thousands and thousands of folks just like Jerome and myself that love to entertain ourselves in the Casino, thankfully for Norwegian Cruise Lines, right? Sometimes it is a great experience and then sometimes it is, well, we look at it as we just paid for our "Casino Complimentary" cruise but had a great time doing so. However, I have come to the conclusion that Norwegian's Casinos At Sea is the best Casino Promotional Operation in the country, and is incomparable with the rest of the larger Casino Cruise companies. This new "Points Level" program really sets it apart from the other cruise line casinos and I believe has real obtainable goals, reasonable perks and empowers the Casino Managers with the ability to provide immediate Customer Service Loyalty Perks, just like the old days of Las Vegas (The old days meaning about 6 months ago, snickering out loud).

It has been my experience all these years that someone has to win a fairly big jackpot, usually on the first night, to attract and keep players "Chasing The Dream!" all week long, throughout the length of the cruise. I guess, finally, that I was in the right place at the right time. It was my turn. However, that being said, I saw folks win $1,000 to $3,000 jackpots on Max Bet lines, regardless of the machine, every day and every night. I have never seen a ship's Casino pay out more, than on my sailing. I have heard folks say and write that The Norwegian Escape Casino is "tight". Malarkey! Every Casino is tight, unless I am winning or ahead! I am willing to lose money, or actually "Pay" for my casino comp cruise, as Entertainment value, nothing more or less. Anything more would be an immediate call to Gamblers Anonymous.

For instance, I remember one late afternoon on The Escape, when I was playing the Monopoly machine, Max Bet, for about an hour. Always reinvesting any win, getting mediocre bonus hits every now and then. Oy, I was getting bored. Jerome was standing over my shoulder and we struck up a conversation with a couple who stopped by to meet me and just had to inquire about my "Big Win" because "The Tour Guide" pointed me out to them earlier. They really were a very nice couple. Well, it got to the point that I was "over the machine" I was playing (some would call me an idiot!) and I merely said to the Mrs., "Here, come sit down and play this one now, I think it's going to hit". The wife was a minimum bet kinda gal, very hesitant, as the machine looks complicated (it does take some getting used too) and I encouraged her to go "all the way". I stood behind her and gave her the confidence she needed. She was initially frightened to do so, realizing Max Bet was Ten Dollars a spin, but thankfully, Jazz made sure we all had fabulous cocktails, and she took my advice and went for it. Max Bet! Hey, anything could happen. I just wanted to show someone how to really play a slot machine!

Don't you know, that on the fourth push of the Max Bet button, she got all "Golden" symbols (if you know that particular Monopoly Slot on The Escape, you know what I am talking about, and I freaking TINKLED!) and in the Bonus Round she won a thousand dollars. $1,000 Bucks! I made a believer out of her, Yesiree! She just about Tinkled right there too, and her husband, well he hugged me for so long that I thought he would be my puppy dog for the duration of the cruise. Ruff, Ruff! (Jerome of course could not pass up the chance to call me a Slut again, Jeez). We never saw them again after she cashed out. Good for her. I am sure she is still talking about her thousand dollar win!

Goes to show you, it's a numbers game. I got up, she sat down, with a little instruction and coaxing, she played the game, she won. The difference between her and I is that she left the Casino with her winnings, never to be heard from again, and I would have stayed to "Re-Invest" the winnings for the future Casino Cruise benefits.

So, the actual slot machine I won on, was not specifically a "Dollar" machine. It actually was a Penny Progressive, which is a laugh and a half. There is no "Penny Machines" out there. The minimum Penny bet is about 40 cents with a maximum "Penny" Bet being upwards of Twenty Dollars a spin. BUT! Regardless of whether 40 cents a spin or twenty dollars a spin, sometimes getting a Bonus pays out amazingly. However, most BIG Bonus wins require a MAX BET on these pesky new computer generated graphic and electronic machines.

The machine I won on, surprisingly, did not require Max Bet. And no, I am not telling you which machine it is until after my upcoming cruise that begins this Saturday, and will tell you in round two of the continuing Adventures, lest you steal my machine. HA! Folks following along that are reading this, and sailing with us, will figure it out soon enough, because I intend to plant my sorry big behind at the machine hoping that lightening will strike twice.

I was thinking to ask to have a Port-O-Potty installed at the machine and then will have Jazz kindly bring all my food and drink, having it delivered to me every day and night, as I play on "MY" machine. Kidding.................Pahlease!

________________________________________________

And Finally..................The Norwegian Escape Casino, The Beginning of The End:

Jerome had gone off and I was on the prowl. I surveyed the Slot Machine landscape. I watched, listened to the "Ding, Ding, Dings". I heard the winning roars over at the Craps tables. I creep-ed and floated thru the banks upon banks of machines. Which one was to be my prey? I was determined to sit down and find a machine that Auntie JW was going to be partners with for the night.

Suddenly, I got a feeling of excitement, (Or did I just have to Tinkle, for real?) "There it is!" I said to myself. Or was that just the previous Martini's talking that Jazz amply retrieved for me as I was playing on all the other machines up until this point. I saw it, out of the corner of my eye. It was literally behind a plant. She was a lonely, strange kind of machine, sitting all by herself. What is it anyway? I had never seen nor played it before. It's location dubious, as it was in the thick of all the action, but still removed so as to be, most definitely, always overlooked.

I got a closer look at the machine, trying to figure her out. "Her?", you ask? It has to be a Her, it's too complicated. Male machines are easy to figure out, just like football. If I put the money in, and it either quickly pays out or it doesn't, It's a HIM machine. If it really pays out, the wife is there (in this case Jerome) to relieve the guy of his winnings, quick. If it toys with me, and pays out here and there, sometimes with a BIG finish, its a HER. THIS was a HER machine! No one would ever know if someone won a jackpot, it was discrete. "Look at that Progressive Bonus!", I said to myself, "It's huge!" How in the heck does this machine payout and for that matter, what is the logic behind it?

I saw the machine from afar and initially ignored it. The machine seemed lonely, yet aloof. I was drawn to it though, like it called to me. I was captivated by her complicity. It spoke to me. "JW, JW" The Machine cried out, "JW, I am The ONE!" Okay, perhaps the many, many Martini's I imbibed were taking effect and it was the only machine not being played in that area, but just indulge me for a moment. Goodness gravy.

I sat down, I reached into my pocket and pulled out a crisp, new Benjamin Franklin. Inserted my card, then put the money in the machine, thinking all the while, "Good Bye, I shall never see you again, Ben, old friend of mine!". I proceeded to hit the Max Bet button and wouldn't you know it, I immediately got some kind of Bonus action.

I have no idea what kind of Bonus action it was, as I was still trying to figure out what the heck the machine did, how it paid out, how the game was played....Jeez, the game rules and payouts read like old fashioned stereo instructions!

Hmm, I got a $19.00 payout on a $5 Max Bet. "That's cool". Oh here's Jazz! I say "Hi Jazz, can I please have a...." Jazz stops me by saying "A Grey Goose Martini?" I nod my head rapidly while saying "YES PLEASE!" "I love you JAZZ!".............Now that WAS the Martini's talking!

I began to experiment with the machine, still trying to understand it, figure it out. She was certainly illusive. It is not one of those new Japanese style machines that are so loud and full of intense, colorful, and flashing electronic, reel spinning excitement, but, it is definitely Asian inspired. I would tap, tap, tap on different denominations alternating on each spin, going from minimum to maximum. I would win here and there, but still not fully comprehending the payout system, when suddenly, as Jazz was delivering my Martini and I was signing the slip (but always leaving a tip for him so the slip totaled a $1.00 gratuity as the drinks were comp'd), I pressed the button at the same time he was handing me my Martini, and as I grabbed the Olives on the pick to flick one in my mouth with the first sip of the Martini, the machine literally "Freaked" out.

Freaked out. "Whooop! Whooop!" I got the one in a million Bonus combination and did not realize it. Apparently, as I later figured out, the God's of the Slot Universe have to align these specific numerals and symbols up, perfectly, as shown in the payout schedule for the Mega Bonus to be triggered. That is what happened. I was now going to be known as Miss Mega Bonus!

So here I am, by myself, throngs of folks walking by, folks also playing machines all around me, and I quietly sit, trying to figure out this bonus. I don't have to press any buttons, nor do I have to interact. This "Lady" of a machine is doing it all by herself. Reel Spin upon Bonus Reel Spin.

I have no idea what I am winning so far, nor how I actually won, but this Lady is paying out continuously until, the God's of the Slot Universe line up and, well, to get all Rick James on you, "WHOOPS THERE IT IS!" "BING, BING, BING, BING" the machine screams out more random Dings like a fire alarm at a Catholic School (Didn't you love Fire Alarm day at school? I felt so involved. I loved the coordination of single file lines into double file lines then all perfectly choreographed into a line up in the parking lot. "Can we do it again?", I would think, hoping we did not get it right. I loved the precision of it all, and dangit, it only came once a year, always in September. Something I always looked forward too. Hey, I said I was weird.)

I hit the Progressive top line, THE TOP LINE. "Whaaaaaaat?" "What, Whaaaaat?"

Okay, so here I am, olive pic in hand, still with two olives left to enjoy, my mouth wide open, all the while taking random sips of my Grey Goose Martini, minding my own business, thinking to myself "WHOLE-LEE-SHIP!" "What did I do?" "Oh My Gawd!"

So I am trying to act nonchalant, (which is hard for this Big Old Slot Queen to do under normal circumstances, as I usually am the one that would be screaming like a mad white woman, jumping up and down, all over the place, if I so much have won merely a hundred bucks!). I am cool and collected. Looking around suspiciously. "JW", I say to myself, "Maintain control", "How much did I freaking win?" "I have no idea."

So like any reasonable, experienced, and very impatient slot player like myself, to induce labor on the machine and to make it fess up, hurriedly calculating the winnings, most machines will allow me to just hit any button and the BING BING BING stops and the total amount won is displayed. Nope, not this one. I kept hitting every button to try and stop the machine from making all this noise and stop drawing attention. Nope. Nothing. I banged, I banged, I banged (sounding very much like Rickey Martin right about now, ehh?, or what, you think maybe William Hung?) and nothing I did stopped the machine from continuing to calculate my winnings for all to see.

Then suddenly, on the slot machine screen in front of me, appearing, in big red numbers, the $$$$$$ Jackpot I won........so everyone passing by in the Casino could see. Fortunately for me, no one was really paying attention, or so I thought. I was a bit uneasy at this point, rocking back and forth on my stool (or was it the Martini's making me do this?). I was taking nervous, fervent sips on my Martini, waiting for the darn machine to be quiet, looking around, as to be inconspicuous as possible.

"DING, DING, DING, DING", then a pause, then a fire alarm "BA-RING, CHA-CHING, BA-RING, CHA-CHING" Lights Flashing. Goodness, gracious, me. Wake the dead why don't you?

So this gal is standing behind me is, I thought was literally dying, when all I here is a screeching sound emitting from her.............."AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIEEEEEE".

She was a tall, slender lady with Flaming Fire Engine Red, I mean Lucille Ball Red, Hair (that really needed to go to the salon for a new hair doo, it was a true, her hair is what they would call, a Rat's Nest, and I would have even paid for it, but this gal was a true Knumb Nut.) I thought to myself, "Oh Good, someone else hit a jackpot too!~" But no, she was screeching because I WON! Me! "Who are you?", I thought. I, me, was the brunt of her screeching Terms of Endearment (If you ask me, more like a Primate When Harry Met Sally Mating Call).

I turned around and she looked as though she was having heart palpitations! She was jumping up and down like she needed permission from the Nuns to Tinkle. Hands flaying in the air, screeching "EEEEEEEEEE!" She shouted at me, pointing at me, for everyone to see. "What did you win?" "What did you win?", She screamed, "Oh Lookie, Lookie, he won a jackpot!" "EEEEEEEEEEE!" "My husband won't believe it!" "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" (Oh shut up, PALEASE!) God Bless, she is actually married to someone? "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"That's right Dearie", I thought, "You go on ahead and tell your husband and please, please leave me alone!" Geez!

So finally, one of the Slot Managers came over, cleared my machine, we discussed payout procedures and options, and of course, (as I learned, from the night I told you about in 2009 that I won a jackpot on The Norwegian Dawn, to always carry my Drivers License when gambling in a Casino) I presented my formal Identification. The seamless paperwork was completed and The Slot Queen was free to go back to, well, playing the slots. I was right mighty proud of myself that I was able to take care of all the intricate details, all by myself, and, knew that when Jerome returned he would be proud of me. Biotch, I never got the chance as you well know by now.

It was so simple and streamlined, and I was truly enjoying myself, until suddenly, I saw The Big Mouth, Red Headed, Tour Guide escorting a group through the Casino, pointing me out from over yonder, then having to deal with a barrage of individual questions, over and over and over again........."So you won?" "How much did you win?" "How much did you put in the machine?" "What is your favorite Color?" "When did you know you liked guys?" "My son is gay, he lives in Oregon, do you know him?" (Oh sure lady, we all stick together and are a tight little group of about only, say, five or ten percent of the world's population! Of course I know your son, sure!). It was every morning, noon and night. The Tour Guide.

Big Red started the folly and then it just domino-ed from there.

Shush up for goodness sake! I don't even know you! SHUSH! But it was too late. And they call me "The Mouth of The South"...............not on this trip, certainly not.

Every day, everywhere. "There he is!" "That's the Gay guy who won!" Well goodie for me. Yes, I am truly now and forever more, self titled, The "Hot" Lady Princess Lose A Lot, Slot Queen of The Norwegian Escape. Don't you EVAH forget it. Gurl!

The Escape Casino, The Final Chapter, The Middle

I have to digress a bit, and go forward, for a minute. Jerome was bouncing around between The Skyline Live Music Bar located on one end of the Casino, then at one point, found me at a machine in the Casino and let me know he was going to get Wings at O'Sheehan's, which is located on the opposite end of the Casino. Never once did I mention my stroke of luck to him as he went to O'Sheehan's. I kept it to myself and was waiting for the right time, as I certainly did not want him to relieve me of my winnings on the first night, Goshdangit! Again, he did that on The Norwegian Dawn, remember?!

So, and this is much, much later, after the win, I was sitting and playing at a machine, and it happened to be one of my all time favorite "New" machines, WONDER WOMAN. There is actually two of these machines in The Escape Casino flanked by two other favorites of mine, what I call, The Chinese Babies. It's very funny, these Chinese Babies. When you touch them on the video screen above, they move back and forth, they giggle and laugh, as if I was tickling them. They giggle out loud "Hee, Hee, Hee, Tee, Hee"! I love it! I am such a weirdo. It's supposed to be good luck to "Touch the Babies", I know it doesn't sound right, but you have to see the machine to understand.

So anyway, I had had lots and lots and lots of Martini's by this time and was playing the Wonder Woman machine, and since The Chinese Babies giggled when touched them, I wondered what Wonder Woman's Tata's would do when tickled her Big Gold Medallion's. (Yes, JW is very bad). So I was constantly touching the Twins and encouraging whoever sat next to me to tickle The Babies on that machine. "Touch the babies"! I would say aloud to the new player sitting down, and they would and we would laugh. Then I would usually say "Watch This"!, and scream "Wonder Womaaaaaan!" as I tickled her Golden Tata's. It was soooo much fun. Nothing would happen, they don't jiggle or anything, they are just big, gold boobies. But it's fun! Then I would get a little more imbibed and I would scream "Wondra Womaaaaan!" "Tata's of Flour!" Oh just thinking about that makes me tinkle, tinkle and tinkle again. I had folks in stitches.

"Wonder Womanaaaan!" Bink Bink on the screen. It cracks me up! It would be hilarious if they jiggled when tickled. How fun would that be?

So I am playing Wonder Woman and a new gal comes and sits next to me at The Chinese Babies machine. She is one of those tight woven kinds of people who clutch their purse and hold it tight to the underwire of their bosom as if someone is going to rob her on the ship. I turn to her say "Hello", just being cordial and polite, and she just looks at me, saying nothing, a real sourpuss. So I casually turn to her and say "Touch the Babies!" "It's good luck!" Not understanding what I was talking about and certainly not having any kind of sense of humor, she says to me "I'm am not Touching the Babies", as she clutched tight her purse even more. She took a drag off of her cigarette, pressed the Cash Out button, snatched up her ticket, got up from the machine, took another puff off of her half finished cigarette, then blew the smoke in my face and proceeded to call me a "Pervert". As she walked away, the whole scene was witnessed by about thirty of us playing in the area and it caused everyone around us to break out into ferocious laughter. I raised my Martini glass to her as she walked away, and I toasted her, "Cheers Honey!" "You are my Wondra Woman!" As I Bink Bink Bink on the screen with my other hand. Fabulously funny.

Ya Gotta Love having a blast with Auntie JW. I can't make this up folks. Just hang around me for 15 minutes and it just happens.

So Jerome peeped his head around, surprising me at the machine I was playing. Wonder Woman is a very tall machine so one can "Peep" around it. He had this very strange look, as if I am in trouble, on his face (As fricking usual) He says to me, "Having any luck?" I look up briefly at him, saying "I am doing okay". "Hmm", he replies, and then hesitates for a moment looking around, then says "Uh JW, I just came back from the room and I tossed the room looking for The Letter, I opened the safe and there was nothing new in it, I turned the room upside down, where did you put it?"

Well, my mouth opened up, my heart sank (I actually felt the same way I did when I was 8 years old and was fiercely sent to The Principal's, Sister Mary Ellen of The Catacombs, office back in Catholic School because I lifted Sister Maria Providencia's dress, or habit, in class, just to see what was underneath. I mean the other kids said she had hoofs for feet, I just wanted to see for myself, honest.) So there I was in mid "Touch" of Wonder Woman's Golden Breastplate and I had to stop and say "What are you talking about?"

"Come on, Trouble" Jerome said, using that (you know the one) tone of voice. "JW it's all over the ship", he continued. "I was in O'Sheehan's and a lady came in running, telling everyone, that some guy just won a huge jackpot!" "I was just sitting at the bar, all by myself enjoying my Jack and Wings and over heard this woman announcing to the whole bar that this guy, The Gay Guy, (which could only mean ME by the way, always) just won a huge jackpot!" "Knowing You as I do, Trouble", Jerome professed, "I just knew it was you and I immediately went back to the room and tore apart the cabin looking for the evidence" "Now, tell me how you are going to get out of this one?"

Then a big blabbermouth, a fixture playing a machine from across the aisle, hanging on every word of this confrontation, let's out "Oh yeah, He is a big winner that one is." I shoot her a look that is like keep your frigging mouth attached to your jaw will you please?

I think to myself, Jeez, the whole place knows. It's a conspiracy I tell ya. A Conspiracy!

"Well?" Jerome says with a shake of his ice in his cocktail glass. "Well what?" I say? He replies, "Are you the Big Gay Guy everyone is talking about?" "And if so, where is it?"

Okay, the jig is up, I silently confess. I don't say a word, I just reluctantly pull out a sizable sum of cash and the "Letter" (oh, it's just the IRS ID90/1099) as well as proof of my winnings. A certain amount is paid in cash, then the balance is ACH'd to my bank account (Or I could have maintained a Casino credit for the duration of the cruise, but, wisely, I chose the bank account route). Jerome was proud, as he thought I would blow the whole kit and kaboodle and not tell him, having to hear it not third hand, more like 25th hand. Nope, I also remember The Norwegian Dawn experience at 3 in the morning. I am not going through that again.

But dang, what a ship full of blabber mouths! I know who it was. She became the "Tour Guide".

Now I can go back to my big win.

As you know we were in 8120 in June and are in 8122 August 20th. We connected to 8122 and never heard a peep, and I asked our neighbors if they ever heard us and the answer was the same, no (Which is shocking, but they said they never heard anything..........:D). The Balcony was sooooooooo worth it. It is HUUUUUGE! Plus, with two full chaise loungers and a full size dining table, there is much to enjoy on the balcony. These are the largest balcony's on the ship at 225 sq feet (the same size as the cabin itself)

The only noise we heard ever was from up above, when folks were on their balconies and we were out on ours.

The best part about 8122 is the bed is by the balcony which gives much more space to access the closets. We like this configuration the best. Funny, I will sit on the sofa if it is by the closet but not if it's by the balcony. Don't know why that is.

In any case, if there are still Deck 8 Mini Suite's with Large Balcony (Cat. M6) still available around 45-30 days prior to sailing, then call 800-625-4309 which is the Upsell Fairy's number and they may just upgrade you or at best, give you an upsell for less than what is currently offered. You do get to keep your current perks when upgraded/upsold.

Plus, the advantage of being in the secret Mini Suites on Deck 8 is that all the action is literally right out our door! Truly amazing location.

Do you know how long they are on vacation? I sail on 9/3.

Through mid to late September.