Have cruises ever made you less sociable? less inclined to be social? bad experiences

Interesting.

We also nearly always opt for shared tables and I have found the opposite.. that people we got to know are left leaning, as opposed to right, so much so that anything different was the complete exception. Perhaps it's just those we talked to, or who talked to us, no idea. I did find the MAGA cap on a SB excursion quite hard to stomach but everyone to their own I suppose.

We've met two great gay couples who we have kept in touch with, fantastic company and a pleasure to know.

The only bigoted views we came across (very homophobic with some racism thrown in) were from two couples (they didn't know each other) but were both from the same country (I'll refrain from saying which!) All I will say is, the phrases and terminology used was from sixties Great Britain - I thought that sort of thing was left way behind in this day and age, obviously not! We didn't find it hard to walk away

Interesting that some think passengers lean left and others (like us) think they lean right. I guess this may be an example of how every cruise is different.

Interesting that some think passengers lean left and others (like us) think they lean right. I guess this may be an example of how every cruise is different.

Or the perspective from which the observer is viewing the lean:cool:

Or the perspective from which the observer is viewing the lean:cool:

Good point. One quote that might apply is "How stupid you are depends on just where you are standing in the country at the time". ;p:cool: We are all different and have different strengths and weaknesses. I just regret the loss of ability to discuss differing points of view rationally and still be friends (or at least friendly).

This thread seems to have devolved into a political leaning thread instead of an unpleasant fellow passenger thread.

To address to OP's concerns I think nothing but firmness will do. Here are some suggested approaches:

1. We are dining alone tonight. You are not invited.

2. We want to be alone. Please make other arrangements.

3. We want to meet other people so are going off on our own.

And finally, if those don't work....

You don't seem to be able to take a hint. We prefer not to socialize with you. I'm sure you will find others who do. Now please excuse us!

Roxburgh, I mostly agree with the last paragraph, especially at initial interactions. But that includes avoiding the assumption that everyone at a communal dining table or on an excursion is of similar and “correct” views on politics, religion, morals, economics, the relationship of man to the universe, and perhaps even whether or not cats or dogs are superior beings. In my opinion that means pax should not let a discussion at a group table degenerate into making condescending or derogatory remarks based on the assumption that fellow pax are all like-minded and anyone who has alternative views is stupid, uneducated, or a fair target for snide remarks, mockery, and jokes.

 

 

 

Bobtail,

 

although you will likely be pleased to know that SB and other luxury cruise pax seem to generally lean left politically for various reasons, they are actually almost always a mixed but intelligent, tolerant and pleasant group, so make no negative assumptions. Most are not clingy or like you described, and are civilized, and will take your headphone and book hint if you do not want to talk ( exceptions are those who think the universe revolves around them and their group, e.g., the selfie-stick addicts who push themsleves into the best view spot or to the front of a line, loudly take over an excursion with their unique desires and demands, or cannot stop talking about their wealth, their importance, or their virtue).

 

 

 

I personally prefer to give people I just meet the benefit of the doubt and listen to each person individually and see if people have anything interesting or unique to say on controversial topics from perspectives I have not previously heard, to make me think, but only after a few drinks, if they bring up a topic.

 

Ultimately, no risk, no reward, so go ahead and comment on the nice dress etc, have no fear on SB ( I would not say the same thing if you go on Hapag-Lloyd luxury ships, there the older German culture is mostly to mind your own business and not bud in).

 

 

 

BTW, though I am not entirely clear why you think your question is “existential”, as for the cat vs dog controversy I mentioned, it is quite clear that cats are the ones with the greatest existential angst and more likely to be of the view than dogs that “hell is the others” but also yourself:

 

thanks for the cats perspective went to to watch cat thoughts 3 and 4 too.....funny i grew up with cats and yes they are very philosophical...

So my husband I and I work in hospitality, spending a lot of time each day answering questions and being nice to people who sometimes don't deserve it. On vacation we tend to stick to ourselves, which I'm sure some people view as "stuck up" or "aloof" of what have you. We just want to be left to enjoy our time by ourselves (not sure when taking a cruise turned in to "meet your new best friends for life", although happy for those that do). We love talking to the crew and getting to know them (something a lot of people don't even bother doing) and telling them about us if they ask.

 

But as for our fellow guests...on our most recent cruise (Viking Ocean) we reluctantly got on a tour bus and within 30 second a woman (from Texas we would come to find out) leaned forward as asked us (a gay couple, in 2018...) "Hey. Where are your wives?" No joke. I looked at my husband and said, "Are you the wife today or am I?" She totally didn't get it.

 

We met other nice people that we exchanged polite conversation with, but between our work and reluctance to roll the dice we do find that we aren't very social.

thanks russg - makes me feel not so anti-social just because we are once bitten twice shy.....i don't know if it is 2018 in some peoples minds the stuff the come out with....as in my other half does laundry on holidays and women of a certain age in the laundry room treat him like he's curing cancer.... or the woman who berated us very publicly for not having children....and whose own child was taken off her and raised by someone else as she was unfit...:confused:

i must be quite evil though - as if i was you i might have been tempted to mess with that texas woman's head...:)

Interesting.

 

I did find the MAGA cap on a SB excursion quite hard to stomach but everyone to their own I suppose.

 

 

 

Sorry if i am stupid here - but what is MAGA?

This thread seems to have devolved into a political leaning thread instead of an unpleasant fellow passenger thread.

 

To address to OP's concerns I think nothing but firmness will do. Here are some suggested approaches:

 

1. We are dining alone tonight. You are not invited.

 

2. We want to be alone. Please make other arrangements.

 

3. We want to meet other people so are going off on our own.

 

And finally, if those don't work....

 

You don't seem to be able to take a hint. We prefer not to socialize with you. I'm sure you will find others who do. Now please excuse us!

thanks for these - read then over dinner and did give me a great laugh - i'm hoping our luck has changed and i won't need these for the next few years( but writing them on a card for my pocket anyway!) - but would have been handy when clingy family mentioned above followed us to a romantic deserted beach- literally no persona there at all- where we were hoping for "alone" time....but no....they popped up out of the sea in snorkelling gear...announcing they had been looking for us ....:)

i had the disturbing thought that if they arrived ten mins later...they would have asked to join in....:o

thanks all to your comments - has made me feel less anti-social and also maybe less wary of accepting an ice breaker from a seemingly nice person

...perhaps we got stung a few extra times over the quota - so our luck should change - and as many of you rightly pointed out even though i don't like being curt or making an atmosphere especially in a confined area - sometimes it really will be the only way..... or the princess bride quote ....quite loud with twitchy eyes.;p

thanks all for your comments - much appreciated....

Sadly, there are hateful cretins on cruise ships and I guess that they feel entitled to spout their poison in the comfort of their cruise ship zone. That's how it goes.

 

 

But the quote from the earlier poster about the refugees won't be forgotten any too soon and it disgusts me. So much so that I am not sure

 

I would follow my own advice to deliver a sharp look his/her way and immediately move away fast before anything else happened:

 

 

"- or in siciliy when an italian rescue boat was bringing refugees to a red cross tent on the pier - having literally being dragged from the sea - man shouted out " you should just line them all up and shoot them' - i wasn't talking to him but was standing next to him..... i have to say have never forgotten the hatred in his voice."

 

 

What a vile character, not worthy of consideration, except to avoid afterwards at all costs.

 

 

Happy and healthy sailing!

i think the problem is people who are full of hate its like they are covered in radioactive muck and when they shake themselves some of that muck gets on you.......and it's hard not to think of it - the comment burns your psyche.

a few years back i ended up walking by a courthouse in a major city when a child serial killer was being sentenced and due to protests they suddenly shut off the pavement - and in a weird turn of events - i ended up on the inside of the blockade with the serial killer and his guard - (i'm 5'2 - no police force thinks i am a danger to anyone !) and the police asked me to wait there till they got him in the van and driven out - so i was standing there with the child killer in cuffs and the guard - and i remember that feeling of just being near evil and hatred.

when that man made those comments about the refugees - i felt the same thing.

sorry for that far too deep for cc - and happy holiday thoughts...

thanks for these - read then over dinner and did give me a great laugh - i'm hoping our luck has changed and i won't need these for the next few years( but writing them on a card for my pocket anyway!) - but would have been handy when clingy family mentioned above followed us to a romantic deserted beach- literally no persona there at all- where we were hoping for "alone" time....but no....they popped up out of the sea in snorkelling gear...announcing they had been looking for us ....:)

 

i had the disturbing thought that if they arrived ten mins later...they would have asked to join in....:o

Glad to be of help. In the case of your deserted beach situation just go to the final suggestion!