Appropriate Behavior for Breaches of HAL Rules

[bulgargirl]

So we've discussed bath robes, hats, informal clothing ad naseum.

 

What I am concerned with is not so much what's appropriate on HAL (I can read the rules and I have a pretty good idea now what people here believe to be the norm); I am concerned with what people feel to be the appropriate response when someone breaks those rules.

 

Specifically:

 

1. What do you think OUGHT to be done if someone is flagrantly violating a dress code or rule?

 

2. What have you ACTUALLY seen done (or done yourself) on cruises with HAL where you have seen someone flagrantly violating a dress code or rule?

 

I'm not trying to get in an argument about what's proper, I guess I'd like to have an idea what the atmosphere is like. Are people my grandmother's age going to lecture me about a cap on my head (not saying I'm gonna wear one!)? Or will I hear people talking about me not so under their breath on the elevator? Will I just get dirty looks and tsks? Nothing at all?

 

I say "me" and "I", because I totally know no one on this board would ever violate a rule and would hate to cast aspertions! :)

[kakalina]

I would do nothing if I noted it at all. I have never seen anyone ( other than the Maitre d') approach anyone re their dress or lack thereof.

 

My momma always told me that one may notice a breach of manners but one doesn't comment on it. True graciousness she said, was the ability to make anyone feel comfortable regardless of their social standing or lack thereof.

[jeda]

I think one should mind their own business :o

 

Jess

[mrsltg]

I would do nothing if I noted it at all. I have never seen anyone ( other than the Maitre d') approach anyone re their dress or lack thereof.

 

My momma always told me that one may notice a breach of manners but one doesn't comment on it. True graciousness she said, was the ability to make anyone feel comfortable regardless of their social standing or lack thereof.

 

Agreed! However, depending upon the breech, my dh and I would likely laugh for years about it. On our honeymoon cruise 10 years ago (Carnival) there was a man who apparently was in the running for the part of Tony Soprano long before there was a part to be had. He ended each sentence with, "Hows about that," as he sucked his teeth and pulled at his cuffs. Yes, I am from NY, so I am allowed to find this hilarious! Nowadays, when I see something completely inappropriate, it's usually met with a, "seriously," or a, "fascinating!" Either is a clue for dh to look up and take notice.

[babyher]

I think one should mind their own business :o

 

Jess

 

 

 

I will second that :)

 

As long as someone isn't breaking a rule that can cause injury or worse to myself or fellow passengers.

[bulgargirl]

I'm glad that seems to be the consensus!

 

On other threads there was the *impression* that I got that people might actually comment.

 

On the NCL board, people complain INCESSANTLY about food, service, or whatever you can think of. I noticed that not as many do so when actually on the cruise, but there were definately people that did it, did it loudly and proudly, and was somewhat a reflection of what was seen on the boards.

 

I just need to lose some weight now to fit into all my cute (and appropriate) outfits!

[PathfinderEss]

My DH and I have seen some dress code violations over the years but we would never say anything to the people about it. Once we saw an older lady wearing a jogging outfit for formal night, though it was black, Ok, but it was the white stripes down the leg and down the arm that made it so interesting. All these things just make for some chuckles between us on cruises.

[Pam in CA]

1. What do you think OUGHT to be done if someone is flagrantly violating a dress code or rule?

 

2. What have you ACTUALLY seen done (or done yourself) on cruises with HAL where you have seen someone flagrantly violating a dress code or rule?

First, it's none of my business and not going to ruin my cruise if someone wants to dress as though they're spending a day at the beach rather than the equivalent of a good restaurant.

 

I've ACTUALLY seen an attractive young woman with a good figure being led through the dining room to her table by the Maitre d' dressed in a "Daisy Duke" outfit with half her bum hanging out below her shorts. (I think most of the male tongues were also hanging out as they spotted her.) Obviously, nothing was said or done. I think if he could, the Maitre d' would have preferred to follow rather than lead her. :)

[RevNeal]

On other threads there was the *impression* that I got that people might actually comment.

 

Most of those who comment on CC boards about such matters (Dress codes, in particular) do so here because they don't on the ships.

In other words, our bark is far worse than our bite.

 

Usually.

[garydm]

I have never seen any ship's staff on HAL address any shortcoming in a passenger's attire. I have seen it done on Silversea. We were having dinner in one of the specialty restaurants and a man entered without a coat or tie. The manager very quietly and diplomatically walked to an adjoining room with him, apparently loaned him the proper duds, and the man entered wearing a nice blazer and tie, none the worse for the event-all in about 3 minutes. I was amazed at how able the manager was in handling the situation, particularly in avoiding embarrassment to the passenger while still enforcing the standards.

 

Gary

[DizzyDallasDi]

Three words...

 

The Golden Rule

[RevNeal]

Three words...

 

The Golden Rule

 

Multiple Choice:

 

1. He who has the gold rules

2. Do unto others and you would have them do unto you.

3. Do unto other before they do unto you

 

:D ;)

[DizzyDallasDi]

Multiple Choice:

 

1. He who has the gold rules

2. Do unto others and you would have them do unto you.

3. Do unto other before they do unto you

 

:D ;)

 

#2 with an edit

 

Do unto others **as** you would have them do unto you

[RevNeal]

I have never seen any ship's staff on HAL address any shortcoming in a passenger's attire. I have seen it done on Silversea. We were having dinner in one of the specialty restaurants and a man entered without a coat or tie. The manager very quietly and diplomatically walked to an adjoining room with him, apparently loaned him the proper duds, and the man entered wearing a nice blazer and tie, none the worse for the event-all in about 3 minutes. I was amazed at how able the manager was in handling the situation, particularly in avoiding embarrassment to the passenger while still enforcing the standards.

 

On several occasions I've witnessed men being told, on formal nights, that they would not be seated until they returned to their staterooms and dressed in a jacket and tie. Once a guy actually made it into the dinning room and was seated at the table behind me when I overheard the dining room manager quietly say in a quiet yet respectful tone, “Sir, tonight is formal night.”

 

“Yes?” the man replied.

 

“I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to return to your cabin and retrieve a jacket and tie.”

 

“But the dress code says that’s suggested.”

 

“No, sir. What’s suggested is a tuxedo; what is required is a jacket and tie.”

 

“Required?”

 

“Correct, sir.”

 

“What if I refuse?”

 

“Then, sir, you will not be served in the Rotterdam Dining Room.”

 

“You’re kidding me.”

 

“No, sir, I'm not kidding you.” The Matre’ D then stood up straight and walked away, apparently stopping to inform the area supervisor of the situation.

 

After a few moments, the fellow got up and left. Less than 10 minutes later he showed up in slacks, a sports jacket, white shirt and tie. Nothing else was said, either by the Matre’ D nor by his table companions.

[RevNeal]

#2 with an edit

 

Do unto others **as** you would have them do unto you

 

Yes ... "as" ... typos are annoying.

[mudscraper]

#4 Do unto others while they are doing it unto you.:):)

 

 

Larry Flynt

[Cruisin'Lady]

Well I am glad for the polite people on HAL when we cruised on the Maasdam last Dec. It was formal night and we rushed to get dressed after a busy day of socializing at the pool. After showers, dressing, changing jewelery, putting on makeup and the final check of my hair...out the door we went looking pretty amazing. We got to the lower dinningroom (although they always saved our same table for us on a standing reservation) and were waved in by the Matre'd with a pleasant formal greeting. As we made our way up the few steps to the center section...I looked in horror at my feet! I had slipped on my blue rubber beach flip flops on by mistake! After all I had been wearing them all day at the pool. I was so embarrased....but no one took notice...or at least said anything!

 

I had thought about turning around by my husband said no one will notice and to just enjoy dinner. I must admit...although I had a very self-conscious walk back to the cabin after dinner to slip into my dress shoes, it was nice to not have my feet hurt with the heals.:o

 

We have to quit being so quick to judge people about their appearance. Most everyone I know have 'moments of senility'...so who is to know whether they are blatantly not following the dress code or if they are having a "senility" moment (although I still am barely in my 50's), or maybe the laundry (or luggage, but thats another long story) just didn't arrive in time.

 

Life is too short to worry about the next persons apparel.:D

[Seavoyage]

Hi Bulgargirl -

 

You don't have to worry about anything like that on a HAL cruise - at least I have found folks really welcoming- guys should not wear shorts, even nice shorts in the dining room or Pinnacle- if you go from the pool into the lido put a wrap or shirt on...it's cool...no worries - if you don't want to then eat by those rules then grab a bite at the taco bar or the outside grill.

 

....And if you are wearing a speedo and you shouldn't be well even if you should be...expect to get stared at...:rolleyes:

 

You are a paying customer/vacationer-for goodness sake - it's a time to wear things you actually want to wear!!

 

Happy Cruising - I cannot wait until the Fall.....

[bobalink]

 

Life is too short to worry about the next persons apparel.:D

 

LOVE THIS RESPONSE. Well stated.

 

When I am on board a cruise ship I am so thrilled to be on vacation, I couldn't care less what someone else wears. Seriously, who cares? It won't impact my vacation in the least.

 

I have been reading these message boards because we are going to be sailing for the first time on HAL in August. I have been trying to get a "feel" of what to expect. If the subject line indicates a topic that may be beneficial to learn from, I read it. Unfortunately, too many topics, and way too much time is wasted discussing baseball hats, smoking, chair hogs, coffee, smuggling liquor, etc.

 

I always appreciate the CC members who have something to say that will be useful or enrich everyone's travel adventures.

 

Thanks Cruisin'Lady for a great attitude and funny story!

Pam in CA - you are awesome. I enjoy your insight and your posts are always helpful.

[Copper10-8]

#4 Do unto others while they are doing it unto you.:):)

 

 

Larry Flynt

Welcome to the no spin................scratch that; welcome to the spin zone;)

[jimmy2x]

Life experience indicates that, in the real world, "Internet Tough Guys" are generally quiet as the proverbial mouse. Enjoy your cruise.

[HWY 101]

sqeek.. hoe dog..:D

[photomikey]

I am concerned with what people feel to be the appropriate response when someone breaks those rules.

If there is no danger to anyone, I'd keep my trap shut. If I found your faux paux humorous, I would subtly elbow my wife to get her attention. If you were wearing your hat in the dining room, I would probably think less of you for about an instant before I looked back down at the menu. If I saw you wearing your robe to/from the pool/spa, I would know we had something in common. :-)

After a few moments, the fellow got up and left. Less than 10 minutes later he showed up in slacks, a sports jacket, white shirt and tie. Nothing else was said, either by the Matre’ D nor by his table companions.

Sometimes in discussions about things that happened long ago when noone else was around, the truth seems to grow a bit. I would never do such a thing (:D) but I know others are prone to it. I tread lightly when I imply that a man of God would take part in this, but let me just make some observations.

 

Some people don't like formal night. Those same people sometimes like to eat in the dining room every night of the cruise, and not just on smart casual nights. Logic then dictates that some people come to the dining room dressed for smart casual (or, perhaps somewhat less) on formal night. I can follow all of this logic. Furthermore, I can follow the logic of someone getting turned away at the door, or worse yet, being contacted by a manager at their table, and asked to return to their room.

 

Let us depart that scenario for a moment, and take another: Some people do like formal night, but don't read the program book. These are people who bring a jacket and tie. I can see where at sea (where every day is a holiday) losing track of time, making way to one's table, and taking a seat never noticing that everyone else was dressed formally, then having that fact pointed out, only to hurry back to one's room and change into something more appropriate.

 

Let me ask you ... the scenario you describe seems to hold an unlikely hybrid of the two scenarios. The man seems to have something against formal night, but has no problem returning to his room to put on the coat and tie he brought with him. Why on earth would someone with no intention of wearing a coat and tie bring them on vacation?

[Jade13]

I have never seen any ship's staff on HAL address any shortcoming in a passenger's attire. I have seen it done on Silversea. We were having dinner in one of the specialty restaurants and a man entered without a coat or tie. The manager very quietly and diplomatically walked to an adjoining room with him, apparently loaned him the proper duds, and the man entered wearing a nice blazer and tie, none the worse for the event-all in about 3 minutes. I was amazed at how able the manager was in handling the situation, particularly in avoiding embarrassment to the passenger while still enforcing the standards.

 

Gary

 

Really? On our SilverSea someone wore shorts, T-shirt, and plastic flip flops to dinner each night. Ok, so it was PAII.

[COLLEYBERRY]

I would do nothing if I noted it at all. I have never seen anyone ( other than the Maitre d') approach anyone re their dress or lack thereof.

 

My momma always told me that one may notice a breach of manners but one doesn't comment on it. True graciousness she said, was the ability to make anyone feel comfortable regardless of their social standing or lack thereof.

 

My Momma told me the same thing.:) She said that it was the" true" definition of class.