Appropriate Behavior for Breaches of HAL Rules

[moniquet]

I wouldn't dream of telling anyone they are incorrectly dressed. I do however, think the Crew should take it up with those who do not conform. The same as having an adult only swimming pool and it is full of young children or you can't ever get in the hot-tub because the same group are there (with drinks around the side) for hours. We the passengers should not need to say a word.

[mrsltg]

I always find the "I am too busy enjoying my vacation to notice etc, etc, etc," to be funny. I also think it's complete and utter baloney. Yes, I realize you can say a lot more on an internet board than in real life. This goes both ways. While I sincerely doubt most anyone would say anything to anyone on a cruise, I sincerely doubt the "I don't care about anything," crowd never spares a second glance at anyone for any reason. Frankly, I'll call a spade a spade and say it's a lie. Yes, people are judged by their appearance and how they comport themselves. This is life, and not just on HAL or any other cruise ship. And yes, everyone partakes in this as this is one of the ways we decide on a dangerous situations, people who mean us well, and people who mean us harm. To say otherwise is nothing more than patting oneself on the back.

[suse]

I always find the "I am too busy enjoying my vacation to notice etc, etc, etc," to be funny. I also think it's complete and utter baloney. Yes, I realize you can say a lot more on an internet board than in real life. This goes both ways. While I sincerely doubt most anyone would say anything to anyone on a cruise, I sincerely doubt the "I don't care about anything," crowd never spares a second glance at anyone for any reason. Frankly, I'll call a spade a spade and say it's a lie. Yes, people are judged by their appearance and how they comport themselves. This is life, and not just on HAL or any other cruise ship. And yes, everyone partakes in this as this is one of the ways we decide on a dangerous situations, people who mean us well, and people who mean us harm. To say otherwise is nothing more than patting oneself on the back.

But I still think Mama was right when she told me to keep my big mouth shut. It has served me well, wink, wink.;)

[Randyk47]

I can't imagine my wife or I commenting or saying anything to another passenger about their clothing other than to compliment somebody when it was appropriate. In fact, about the only time I can think we'd say anything negative or corrective in nature to a fellow cruiser is if they were doing something dangerous or potentially harmful to us or other passengers. Since I can't remember even that happening I'd have to say it would be more than extremely rare that we'd have any kind of confrontation with another guest over their behavior be it dress code or something else.

[Choinski]

I hear the brig has three formal dress robe and baseball cap nights, usually 'at sea' days.

[m steve]

to hold up propper dress for the dining room. I see no problem in advising someone that the dress is inappropriate and suggest either changing their clothes or using the buffet. That's part of his job. He may not get a tip from that person but might from others who appreciate him doing his job.

I've been to upscale restaurants where some people come incorectly dressed. In both cases the manager knew them( once was a group in flannel shirts who were leaders of the union that owned the building and another was a local business celeb who showed up in pjs and a robe, but ate there almost every day and was feeling his oats).

[onthegogirl]

I personally don't really care what people wear. :D The only rule I wish were enforced is the adults only aft pool, those few that are still left. One reason I take longer cruises is that there are fewer children on board.

 

Before I get flamed, let me state that I love well behaved and well supervised children of all ages. What annoys me is having kids take over the pool, jump, splash each other and make it impossible for anyone else to enjoy themselves. I am always fearful of the injuries that the jumping and diving can cause.:eek: While this is going on, Mom or Dad are lounging, sipping beverages and reading, paying no attention to the little darlings. :(

 

This is one rule that should be enforced by ships personnel. Children must be supervised.

 

I feel better now!:):)

[RevNeal]

Sometimes in discussions about things that happened long ago when noone else was around, the truth seems to grow a bit. I would never do such a thing (:D) but I know others are prone to it. I tread lightly when I imply that a man of God would take part in this, but let me just make some observations.

 

Some people don't like formal night. Those same people sometimes like to eat in the dining room every night of the cruise, and not just on smart casual nights. Logic then dictates that some people come to the dining room dressed for smart casual (or, perhaps somewhat less) on formal night. I can follow all of this logic. Furthermore, I can follow the logic of someone getting turned away at the door, or worse yet, being contacted by a manager at their table, and asked to return to their room.

 

Let us depart that scenario for a moment, and take another: Some people do like formal night, but don't read the program book. These are people who bring a jacket and tie. I can see where at sea (where every day is a holiday) losing track of time, making way to one's table, and taking a seat never noticing that everyone else was dressed formally, then having that fact pointed out, only to hurry back to one's room and change into something more appropriate.

 

Let me ask you ... the scenario you describe seems to hold an unlikely hybrid of the two scenarios. The man seems to have something against formal night, but has no problem returning to his room to put on the coat and tie he brought with him. Why on earth would someone with no intention of wearing a coat and tie bring them on vacation?

 

Firstly, the event I described happened in 2004 aboard the Zaandam on a Panama Canal Cruise. Unless I am mistaken, that was my first cruise from which I reported "live" on this board. You can find the actual post in which I reported this specific incident HERE. Remember, it was posted from the ship the morning after it happened. Hence, the truth hadn't had much of a chance to "grow a bit."

 

Secondly, if I were to speculate as to why the fellow did this -- why he would come to the main dining room on a formal night not dressed in accordance with the Dress Code when he had the items that were required back in his stateroom -- I could, perhaps, come up with a few possible suggestions. Keep in mind, this is only speculation:

 

1. Maybe he forgot it was formal night? Could be ... as you say, things happen. (Not likely, in this case, given that his spouse was dressed formally)

2. Maybe he had been rushed due to some afternoon activity and didn't want to take the time to go back to his cabin and change clothing?

3. Maybe he had been advised by his TA, a friend, or even people on an online cruise discussion board (like this one), that he really wouldn't have to dress up every formal night and so he decided to "test the waters" and see if he could "get away with it." He had no intention of not dressing up every formal night -- after all, his spouse liked playing dress up and wanted him to play along so they could get some nice formal shots and she could enjoy going out onto the dance floor in the Ocean Lounge and dancing with him, like they did at their High School Prom? So, he actually had a jacket and tie, slacks and dress shirt in his cabin that he could put on. But this first formal night he wanted to try and get away with not dressing up ... so he could say "so there" to all those stuffed shirts who had warned him that he'd have to.

4. Keep in mind that this was back in the day when HAL had "Informal Night," as well ... an evening when gentlemen wore a jacket but were not required to wear a tie (though many men would also wear a tie back then). Hence, there were more occasions than just the Formal Nights when a jacket would be required. Maybe he came prepared for Informal Nights but had intended to eat in the Lido on the Formal Nights and then changed his mind when his spouse decided to eat in the MDR?

5. Perhaps he had been a boy scout and, even though predisposed to not dressing up, he nevertheless decided to "be prepared."

6. Maybe his spouse had packed it for him, even though he didn't want to dress up and really didn't believe that he would be required to do so?

 

I could keep speculating until my tuxedo rots -- I'm a creative kind of guy and have seen just about every excuse possible articulated on this board by somebody at some point over the past 10 years. However, unless/untill the guy to which this happened actually shows up here on CC and owns up to it having been him and then explains why he did what he did, my speculations will never be anything more than just that ... speculations.

[RevNeal]

...I'd have to say it would be more than extremely rare that we'd have any kind of confrontation with another guest over their behavior be it dress code or something else.

 

I have been told -- twice -- that I was over-dressed. Once on one of the now-defunct "Informal Nights" when I was dressed in a black suit and clericals. And, once, on Smart Casual Night when I was dressed in slacks and sports jacket. Both times it was a guy who said it to me ... the Smart Casual evening it happened in the elevator. The guy came in (wearing shorts and a t-shirt), looked me up and down, and said "Aren't you a little overdressed?"

 

I smiled and replied back, "No, sir, I don't believe so."

[sapper1]

I have been told -- twice -- that I was over-dressed. Once on one of the now-defunct "Informal Nights" when I was dressed in a black suit and clericals. And, once, on Smart Casual Night when I was dressed in slacks and sports jacket. Both times it was a guy who said it to me ... the Smart Casual evening it happened in the elevator. The guy came in (wearing shorts and a t-shirt), looked me up and down, and said "Aren't you a little overdressed?"

 

I smiled and replied back, "No, sir, I don't believe so."

The British have a wonderful expression which covers a multitude of situations. They just give the offending party a blank look and say "Quite"

[woody14h]

The Matre D mentioned by RevNeal should be nominated for sainthood. I'd like to shake his hand. We have on formal nights been seated with guests wearing denim bib outfits suitable for the farm. No word was said by the staff. Actually they were nice people but I doubt they even knew what formal meant.

Another time it was the Brooklyn/Staten Island Soprano look, bling and open shirt. I guess the Matre D didn't want to say anything in fear that he may sleep with the fishes.

 

With 1500 plus people, cnmformity went out in the 1950s. The good news - it gives us all something to chat about.

[DizzyDallasDi]

If you can't say something nice about (to) someone, don't say anything at all.

[babyher]

If you can't say something nice about (to) someone, don't say anything at all.

 

 

Sadly too many people's motto is "If you can't say anything nice about someone , come sit by me" :(

[igraf]

This forum may or may not reflect reality as things tend to be happy-go-lucky on this forum. I am sure that many people have spoken up (or at least gave a dirty look) to rude people. It would be untrue to say that there were never any angry people on a cruise.

 

I for one spoke to a person whose inebriated group of companions decided to sit right in front of a performing band and commenced to talk and laugh loudly. I spoke to him off to the side in a polite and discreet manner, but did let him know that his group was disturbing the music for everyone else. He took the hint and they moved on to a more appropriate sitting location. I did this because they were actively diminishing the experience for several other people,and because the band was quite good (not the HALcats!).

 

Having said that, I would not comment on something as trivial as a bathrobe. If a dinner tablemate decides to show up to formal night in jeans and a backwards baseball cap, then I would simply switch tables.

 

igraf

 

 

 

 

I'm glad that seems to be the consensus!

 

On other threads there was the *impression* that I got that people might actually comment.

 

On the NCL board, people complain INCESSANTLY about food, service, or whatever you can think of. I noticed that not as many do so when actually on the cruise, but there were definately people that did it, did it loudly and proudly, and was somewhat a reflection of what was seen on the boards.

 

I just need to lose some weight now to fit into all my cute (and appropriate) outfits!

[buckirj1]

We have on formal nights been seated with guests wearing denim bib outfits suitable for the farm. No word was said by the staff. Actually they were nice people but I doubt they even knew what formal meant.

 

The bibs might have been the nice people's definition of formal, if they were from a certain place and time. Hey, if it's good enough for the Fairfield Four, it's good enough for me. And by golly, it's good enough for a cruise. Ironed and creased overalls, starched-to-cracklin' white shirts, black bow ties, black suit jackets, and shoes so shiny the glare will hurt your eyes. It's what country folks wore to church and other fancy dress occasions. My grandfather dressed up in much the same way.

 

What a fabulous look (and what a fabulous group!)

http://www.a-cappella.com/category/fairfield_four_quartet

 

snowy

[bulgargirl]

No one has said anything to me on a cruise. I haven't said anything to anyone on a cruise either.

 

I have asked the same person if a chair was taken 3 times in an hour. But I really wanted to sit on the deck in the sun and ALL (I mean it literally) the loungers were taken! I was sitting on my towel. And the chair had been empty for 2 hours.

 

I guess they were saving it. I kept hoping they'd give up. I quit asking after an hour.

[kakalina]

Speaking up regarding bad behaviour is different from instilling your ideas of courtesy on another.

 

I too have spoken to others regarding behaviour. A drunken man dressing down a Lido server and a mother who let her child run wild in the showroom during a cast performance. Her "little darling" was running up and down the stairs to the stage and the cast was going up and down same stairs as part of the show. Some things you just can't let slide. Most things aren't worth the time and bother.

[igraf]

This is the situation we get into as a result of rude people. Saving chairs for hours is unfortunately a common practice . But, if you were to say something direct then they would see you as the bad person.

 

I would just sit in the chair and offer to give it up when the "owner" returns.

 

igraf

 

 

 

 

.. I have asked the same person if a chair was taken 3 times in an hour. But I really wanted to sit on the deck in the sun and ALL (I mean it literally) the loungers were taken! I was sitting on my towel. And the chair had been empty for 2 hours.

 

I guess they were saving it. I kept hoping they'd give up. I quit asking after an hour.

[mrsltg]

 

Having said that, I would not comment on something as trivial as a bathrobe. If a dinner tablemate decides to show up to formal night in jeans and a backwards baseball cap, then I would simply switch tables.

 

igraf

 

Oh that's saying something. It's just not using words. Pot-a-to, Pot-ah-to.

[bulgargirl]

Oh that's saying something. It's just not using words. Pot-a-to, Pot-ah-to.

 

I was wondering if the funny looks or pointed stares was the most common thing to see. No one owns up to doing it, but you know if they are thinking it - it happens. And getting up and changing tables seems kind of along that line? Maybe?

 

I'll follow the Rev.'s advice to be charitable and assume that the faces I've seen people make are not always faces that those good people are aware of making. And that they'd be bad poker players.

[suse]

I was wondering if the funny looks or pointed stares was the most common thing to see. No one owns up to doing it, but you know if they are thinking it - it happens. And getting up and changing tables seems kind of along that line? Maybe?

 

I'll follow the Rev.'s advice to be charitable and assume that the faces I've seen people make are not always faces that those good people are aware of making. And that they'd be bad poker players.

People can't help how they look.

[suse]

Speaking up regarding bad behaviour is different from instilling your ideas of courtesy on another.

 

I too have spoken to others regarding behaviour. A drunken man dressing down a Lido server and a mother who let her child run wild in the showroom during a cast performance. Her "little darling" was running up and down the stairs to the stage and the cast was going up and down same stairs as part of the show. Some things you just can't let slide. Most things aren't worth the time and bother.

I agree. Wishing you both a fantastic cruise! Wow, how great is that? Such an opportunity for you.:) For anybody. Someday I hope to do that, as well.

[LSEA]

a mother who let her child run wild in the showroom

 

I in no way mean this as a snarky comment towards you kakalina, you come across as a sensible, kind person. But I often read things like this on CC and I always wonder, where is Dad?

[duck tune]

On one of our Alaska cruises a couple sat in the Explorations area where people were reading and listening to music on the headphones while we were at port (DH and I were on the Computer) and she was having a very loud conversation on her cell phone with her daughter in the mid-west. Everyone was somewhat irked by this but no one said a word, not even the HAL crew member at the desk.

 

On our very first HAL cruise an older women approached me and proceeded to lecture me about wearing such "large expensive wedding/engagement rings" on a cruise to Mexico. "Didn't I know that theives would cut off my hand for those rings and not think twice!" :eek:

 

She did not know I was not wearing the real thing and had no intention of going off the ship wearing jewelry that but she felt it was her duty to tell point out my shortcomings. I have to say I was mortified, speechless and scared to death.

[bulgargirl]

People can't help how they look.

 

 

I agree and disagree with you at the same time, Suse. A person can help their natural features. And person can't really help what tics. A person can learn to hide reactions (but should they have to?). Anyway, agree with you about that.

 

A person who sticks their tongue out, smirks, glares, or otherwise contorts their face can usually help it. Unless there is a medical reason such as a seizure.

 

And all I'm saying is that I am assuming that if there is any commentary on a person's attire or behavior on the ship, I am expecting it to be along the lines of pointed stares are looks that are deliberately made and expected to be noticed. If it happens at all.

 

Seems like very few people have observed someone actually saying something to another cruiser with the exception of safety issues.