Another Question re Eliminating Formal Nights

[fann1sh]

I'm late to this party, as I just got back from a non-cruise holiday.

 

Yes - I'd probably change cruise lines if HAL stopped formal nights. I'd try Celebrity again.

 

I'm sick of all the "I don't want to dress up and no one else should either" crowd. Which is what these threads have become: a witch hunt for people who understand why sometimes there are dress codes.

 

For those who just don't get my point of view, think about the recent Oscar ceremony.

 

Would you tune in if the celebs wore what you're planning to wear in the HAL dining room?

 

Exactly.

 

And my point isn't that people need to buy, pack and wear expensive clothes.

 

My point: some of the "I'm me, and I'm look fine" crowd often don't really know or think about how they look.

 

There are some social circumstances where personal comfort is not the final arbiter of what you wear if you're socially aware or considerate. While others will dispute this claim, to me those occasions include job interviews, weddings, funerals, and formal dinners.

 

Dispute away. Everyone is entitled to their own stupid opinion - even me.

[northernphoenix]

We are not in any way, formal types, but I must say that we absolutely enjoyed the 2 formal nights aboard the Volendam ( AK ). We are planning a future cruise to Europe, and are always on the look for formal wear...luv,luv,luv it!!! But to answer the OP;HAL will always be our first luv;and we will likely always look to these crusie offerings as our first choice regardless of Formal evenings, or not.

Marilyn

[RuthC]

lol!!

Why are you laughing at someone's opinion? Don't they have the right to one? Or don't they have the right to express it?

[2cruisecats]

When we first started cruising, the thought of "formal" threw me into a panic. I didn't know what to wear, had no "fancy clothes", etc. Our solution was a suit for my husband and a long black skirt with a fancy, glittery top for me. At times I felt "under dressed" compared to the fancy clothes of table mates but we still enjoyed ourselves. Then one fine April I got a surprise birthday gift -- 2 days to pack and get to Houston/Galveston for a Royal Caribbean cruise. I was never so disappointed in a cruise and it was not just the cold weather -- part of it was due to the jeans, not even clean jeans & t-shirts, in the main dining room every night. It felt like we were overdressed for McDonalds even on casual nights. Since then we've found HAL, my DH got a tux for our 25th, I have a long black skirt (and a few not so glittery tops) and we rarely see jeans in the dining room. Yes, packing is a challenge but the tux replaces a suit &/or blazer and my tops can be worn with dress pants on other nights. We've even been known to "dress up" on non-formal nights if we dine in the Grill. We like longer cruises and I guess we're traditional, so if HAL deleted formal night, we might go to Celebrity or another line for that special cruise. Having said that, for a 5 day cruise in the Caribbean, we'd leave the tux and the black skirt at home!

[Rutland Gate]

Stop trying to spoil everything and move life into the lowest common denominator. If you don't want to be formal, then go places that are informal. Don't deny others what they enjoy.

[GCurry]

Yes and no. I have enjoyed luncheons, prayer breakfasts, and such with "those kind of people" on many occasions. One doesn't wear shorts and muscle-shirts to breakfast with the President. One just doesn't.

Some on this board would probably choose to make a statement?:D

I know a lot of fundamental folks down here who would like to join you at the prayer breakfast, as they mention conversations with God and the laying on of hands when it comes to politicians.

 

 

 

Then one fine April I got a surprise birthday gift -- 2 days to pack and get to Houston/Galveston for a Royal Caribbean cruise. I was never so disappointed in a cruise and it was not just the cold weather -- part of it was due to the jeans, not even clean jeans & t-shirts, in the main dining room every night. It felt like we were overdressed for McDonalds even on casual nights.

Sorry we weren't up to your standards as our native population, the men anyway, are usually dragged kicking and screaming on to a cruise ship in Galveston. That's not totally true, but there's enough in boots and hats and jeans to give you that impression. The fact that some might have been from Calgary is beside the point, the standards are certainly different here.

 

We've cruised twice out of Galveston, Western Caribe when the Grand Princess was here. There's nothing like cruising from where you live as many of you know. But it's all Western Caribe and there's only so many Margarita's in Coz you can enjoy and there's all that world out there to see, so we move on, but always packing the formal wear.

[iceman93]

I'm late to this party, as I just got back from a non-cruise holiday.

 

Yes - I'd probably change cruise lines if HAL stopped formal nights. I'd try Celebrity again.

 

I'm sick of all the "I don't want to dress up and no one else should either" crowd. Which is what these threads have become: a witch hunt for people who understand why sometimes there are dress codes.

 

For those who just don't get my point of view, think about the recent Oscar ceremony.

 

Would you tune in if the celebs wore what you're planning to wear in the HAL dining room?

 

Exactly.

 

And my point isn't that people need to buy, pack and wear expensive clothes.

 

My point: some of the "I'm me, and I'm look fine" crowd often don't really know or think about how they look.

 

There are some social circumstances where personal comfort is not the final arbiter of what you wear if you're socially aware or considerate. While others will dispute this claim, to me those occasions include job interviews, weddings, funerals, and formal dinners.

 

Dispute away. Everyone is entitled to their own stupid opinion - even me.

 

I wanted to chop your post up and agree with specific parts of it, but just couldn't. That's because I agree with the entire thing, both the sentiment and the wonderful way you expressed it.

[WhansaMi]

For those who just don't get my point of view, think about the recent Oscar ceremony.

 

Would you tune in if the celebs wore what you're planning to wear in the HAL dining room?

 

 

Yep, I would.

 

Sure, it is nice to see some of the pretty dressses and such, but, it is also nice to see some of the celebs who have deliberately dressed down for the awards. Two names pop to mind immediately: Johnny Depp and Brad Pitt.

[DizzyDallasDi]

Yep, I would.

 

Sure, it is nice to see some of the pretty dressses and such, but, it is also nice to see some of the celebs who have deliberately dressed down for the awards. Two names pop to mind immediately: Johnny Depp and Brad Pitt.

 

Depp and Pitt are comfortable in their own skin...and they both look fabulous in whatever they wear. On the other hand, the women always dress to the nines. They are the ones the cameras are searching so they will be wearing the most attractive or attention-getting attire they can find. I tend to prefer the attractive gowns rather than the "over-the-top" dresses.

 

Sandra Bullock stole the show with her gorgeous dress and I'm so happy for her.

[Storylady]

I'm late to this party, as I just got back from a non-cruise holiday.

 

Yes - I'd probably change cruise lines if HAL stopped formal nights. I'd try Celebrity again.

 

I'm sick of all the "I don't want to dress up and no one else should either" crowd. Which is what these threads have become: a witch hunt for people who understand why sometimes there are dress codes.

 

For those who just don't get my point of view, think about the recent Oscar ceremony.

 

Would you tune in if the celebs wore what you're planning to wear in the HAL dining room?

 

Exactly.

 

And my point isn't that people need to buy, pack and wear expensive clothes.

 

My point: some of the "I'm me, and I'm look fine" crowd often don't really know or think about how they look.

 

There are some social circumstances where personal comfort is not the final arbiter of what you wear if you're socially aware or considerate. While others will dispute this claim, to me those occasions include job interviews, weddings, funerals, and formal dinners.

 

Dispute away. Everyone is entitled to their own stupid opinion - even me.

 

Iceman's reply to Fannish:

I wanted to chop your post up and agree with specific parts of it, but just couldn't. That's because I agree with the entire thing, both the sentiment and the wonderful way you expressed it.

 

 

AMEN! I certainly agree with both your posts.

 

I also think it is time to stop this discussion as the "I do not and will not dress Formally for dinner crowd" are not going to change their minds. And the "I want to dress Formally crowd" who don't want HAL to change aren't going to change their minds either.

 

But next time both crowds are on board an HAL, please think of this thread and respect each other's opinion. And also don't complain about having to dress formally in the dining room if you do chose to dress for dinner. And the Formal crowd should be sure not to look down on those who wander the ship in whatever they chose to wear.

[cruznseas]

AMEN! I certainly agree with both your posts.

 

I also think it is time to stop this discussion as the "I do not and will not dress Formally for dinner crowd" are not going to change their minds. And the "I want to dress Formally crowd" who don't want HAL to change aren't going to change their minds either.

 

But next time both crowds are on board an HAL, please think of this thread and respect each other's opinion. And also don't complain about having to dress formally in the dining room if you do chose to dress for dinner. And the Formal crowd should be sure not to look down on those who wander the ship in whatever they chose to wear.

 

 

Excellent post, thank you!

[Warm_CND]

Have you ever wondered why the ‘Dress’ related posts generate so much contention ?

Why should it get under YOUR skin about the way I dress ? Why does it get under MY skin the way you are dressed ?

Beyond ‘Formal’ or No ‘Formal’ nights lies the issue that how one dresses shows a respect for those around you.

If I am invited to a wedding and wear shorts , sandals and a an old T-shirt, I may be comfortable but I have, inadvertently or not, insulted others. This applies to many situations, funerals, job interviews, a friend’s recital or opening gallery.

How one dresses shows respect for others.

Why bother posting this ? I only want help people understand why and how this issue becomes ‘emotional’ , and somehow ends up bigger than it appears it should.

Most that oppose formal nights are not implying they dress in sand covered shorts , sandals , and a mustard stained Hawaiian shirt. Many that support formal nights are not against a slightly relaxed ‘casual elegant’ style dress instead.

What happens too often in these threads is a lack of understanding that how WE dress does show respect or disrespect to those around us. It does. Maybe it should not, maybe an individual will say it does not / should not.

But , it does.

Respectfully Posted.

[chrispb]

Have you ever wondered why the ‘Dress’ related posts generate so much contention ?

 

Why should it get under YOUR skin about the way I dress ? Why does it get under MY skin the way you are dressed ?

 

Beyond ‘Formal’ or No ‘Formal’ nights lies the issue that how one dresses shows a respect for those around you.

 

If I am invited to a wedding and wear shorts , sandals and a an old T-shirt, I may be comfortable but I have, inadvertently or not, insulted others. This applies to many situations, funerals, job interviews, a friend’s recital or opening gallery.

 

How one dresses shows respect for others.

 

Why bother posting this ? I only want help people understand why and how this issue becomes ‘emotional’ , and somehow ends up bigger than it appears it should.

 

Most that oppose formal nights are not implying they dress in sand covered shorts , sandals , and a mustard stained Hawaiian shirt. Many that support formal nights are not against a slightly relaxed ‘casual elegant’ style dress instead.

 

What happens too often in these threads is a lack of understanding that how WE dress does show respect or disrespect to those around us. It does. Maybe it should not, maybe an individual will say it does not / should not.

 

But , it does.

 

Respectfully Posted.

 

Can't agree that these people are showing a lack of respect to others. More like a lack of self-respect if they're wearing mustard stained clothing, etc.

It's never emtered my head that someone is showing disrespect to me due to the way they've dressed - my ego isn't that big!

[Warm_CND]

Can't agree that these people are showing a lack of respect to others. More like a lack of self-respect if they're wearing mustard stained clothing, etc.

It's never emtered my head that someone is showing disrespect to me due to the way they've dressed - my ego isn't that big!

 

I have a big ego ... but not big enough to speak for everybody. No , not everybody would feel disrespected by their friends wearing cut off shorts and a Nascar T shirt to their wedding. And credit is due to you for not feeling negatively if your friends showed up at your wedding that way.

 

I did simply want to put into perspective why it can be a contentious issue , and why some people don't seem to understand at all why 'some' people feel so strongly about 'dress' issues.

 

Honestly I am simply trying to bring to the issue , that 'respect' is spoken through the choices in our dress , speech, appearance... and sometimes we forget that , or are completely unaware of it. And being unaware of something does negate it.

[Kini12]

I would continue to dress up every night, as I have since HAL eliminated informal nights. But I would never dress formally if the night were not designated as such. After all, it is just as much out of place to be overdressed as it is to be underdressed.

 

I would also look at other cruise lines. Cunard and Saga come readily to mind as being a good fit for me.

 

Ruth: It's been awhile since we sailed on HAL. When did HAL eliminate formal night? The dining room always looked so beautiful on formal nights.

[Boytjie]

Ruth: It's been awhile since we sailed on HAL. When did HAL eliminate formal night? The dining room always looked so beautiful on formal nights.

 

HAL has not eliminated it.

[Willsot]

A few years ago as we were preparing to attend my father-in-law's funeral, my adult son, who was meeting us there from out of state, called to ask what I was wearing. I replied that I was wearing a dark suit, "out of respect for your grandfather." I added that I was sure many of the cousins would dress more informally, which would be fine. He wore a suit. My personal choice was a question of respect (and I suppose a sense of decorum that is more generational). Were the others dressed more casually less respectful? No, it was their own personal choice.

[ajames]

Let me say that we won't cruise NCL again. Unquestionably, we'd find another way to vacation if that's all there were. But it's not going to happen. HAL has a unique niche with us more traditional, old fashioned folks, and they know it (and I'm not that old).

[RuthC]

I would continue to dress up every night, as I have since HAL eliminated informal nights.

 

Ruth: It's been awhile since we sailed on HAL. When did HAL eliminate formal night?

Did you misread? :confused:

[Kini12]

Did you misread? :confused:

 

 

Sorry Ruth I probably did. It happens. Have a nice evening

[Harris Jeffer]

I agree/

 

I also agree.

[DAngel799]

Back on subject: I just got home last night from a cruise on the Zaandam and I saw men in tux with women wearing black pants and a very nice top calling that "formal." It is just not really fair to the men who are "that dressed up" being with women who call that attire "formal." It is just not really formal if you are going by the exact same standards, and I don't care how much you flame me for saying so. That being said I don't care if my husband ever wears a tux again. If a man wears an uncomfortable and expensive tux he deserves to be with a lady in a full length "really and truly formal gown." I also noticed short cocktail dresses with men with tux. Come on ~ don't expect your man to dress up if you are not going to be just as uncomfortable and dressed up in a formal with high heels! That being said I don't care for all that dressing up, but I have done it to the nines if my hubby does.:eek:

[bepsf]

Would probably try Crystal.

 

Agreed -

I'd also consider Cunard.

[Rotrix]

Agreed -

I'd also consider Cunard.

Brian,

 

On Cunard you can not wear jean with your velvet jacket on formal or informal night.:D;)

[RuthC]

Brian,

 

On Cunard you can not wear jean with your velvet jacket on formal or informal night.:D;)

Dark jeans with a velvet jacket and dress shirt is Brian's attire on a casual night. On formal nights he wears a tux (and he wears it beautifully, I might add).