Party Pooper?

[kharrison__15]

So... what do you do when the person you're cruising with seems un-interested in the cruise?

 

it's driving me crazy! My friend from high school and I are cruising June 10th on Grandeur, it's the first cruise for both of us-we're both 22. I'm completely out of my mind excited, and she always changes the subject when I bring it up. We've been friends since pretty much forever, but all of the sudden I'm second guessing how much fun this trip will be?! What are my options if she chooses to just sleep the days away?! Is there plenty to do on board on my own? I obviously wouldn't go into port alone for my own personal safety reasons... but I'm just getting sort of bummed out!

 

can anyone please lift my spirits by telling me how much fun this will be?!

 

thanks, cruise critic friends, you're the best!

[SusanC67]

I think you will find there will be plenty to do, whether with a friend or off on your own.

 

If you haven't done so, you might want to join the roll call for the ship and departure date of your cruise. It is a great way to meet people, make friends.

 

I have been on two cruises so far and quite frankly, it is impossible to be bored. There is so much to do, such a variety to choose from.

 

Enjoy!

[iEmpire]

You can eat, drink, gamble, lay out by the pool... never gets old!

[sailinglisa]

You will be as busy or as lazy as you want on a cruise. There is SOOOO much to do! Even if you show up as a single, you will be welcomed on teams for the games and trivia..........the staff make you feel so welcome.

 

Maybe your friend just hasn't gotten excited yet......wait til she gets on board and sees all that is going on!

[bplazo]

My husband is the same way, however, we still have a good time on board and if he annoys me I just go find something to do on my own.

[beachchick]

I think it would be a good idea to basically insist that the two of you discuss expectations. It may be that her idea of a cruise is sleeping in, having leisurely meals, lounging about by the pool (or wherever), and so forth. There is nothing wrong with that as a cruise style. But if you think your cruise style is going to be more get up early, have a quick breakfast, head out to explore the port or take part in many onboard activities, and so forth, then it's really important (critical to your friendship even) that the two of you come to an understanding and agreement now. Don't wait until you're onboard and you are frustrated waiting for her to "do something" and she's frustrated that you seem to be pushing her to "do something" all the time.

 

There's nothing wrong with deciding that you won't spend all day and every evening together. Work out what kind of things you want to do together and also figure out what kinds of things/times you'll likely spend apart. It's not at all bad to have separate time for part of the day, "catch up" and tell stories at dinner, and then spend the evening having fun together.

 

There is plenty to do onboard and you can always opt for ship excursions if safety in port is a concern for you.

 

In any case, I hope you both have fun, even though it will likely not be in the same way.

 

beachchick

[MIZZ_K]

This why I travel solo, whether it be cruising or a land trip, I always find plenty to do and meet plenty of nice people, also I can do what I want at my own pace, but that's just me.:)

[madforcruising]

The question is have you been vacationing together already? How did you get along then?

 

She might just not be that overly excited about it like you are (nothing wrong with both ways), but she might just be annoyed and thus trying to change the topic.

 

I for example obviously like to talk about cruising:rolleyes:. However I´m into planning my vacations to a certain degree, but not into the (over)planning some people are into. As an example, for me there is no need to reed all the cruise compasses and dining room menues in advance. I still want to save some of the excitement into the cruise and not know it all in advance. I´m not saying there´s anything wrong with people doing this, but it´s not for me and if someone I cruise with would be doing this and try to get me into it as well I´d feel annoyed and would for sure try to back out and change the topic. That doesn´t mean she will be a party pooper once onboard.

[madforcruising]

This why I travel solo, whether it be cruising or a land trip, I always find plenty to do and meet plenty of nice people, also I can do what I want at my own pace, but that's just me.:)

 

I have to agree, while I have traveled with friends onboard, never in the same cabin. We will share some activities, like shore excursions, dinner etc. But there´s no force for none to do stuff together.

[alfaz]

Can I offer a different perspective. I booked a cruise with a work friend when I was 22 and then met a guy and fell madly in love. The last thing I wanted to do was go on a cruise without him but didn't know how to disapoint my friend. She knew I didn't want to go but never gave me an out. I did end up going and had a good time but missed my boyfriend terribly at times and I'm sure there were times when I was less than fun.

 

Try and figure out why she may not be as excited as you. Ask yourself why then why again. She may be feeling the pinch financially, she may have a new love or she may be worried about travelling with a friend.

 

Reading these boards tho I know you will have fun no matter what you decide.

 

Cheers

Leah

 

ps. my boyfriend proposed within an hour of getting of the cruise and we have been married happily for 15 years. I think he missed me.

[waterbugohio]

I also second the idea of joining your roll call. Have you already?? It is a great way to meet people ahead of time and possibly plan some excursions together.

 

We had a very active roll call on our first cruise over two years ago. I mainly joined because I was leary of doing independent excursions on our own (even though there were two of us) Well besides having people to do the excursions with, we ended up meeting some great friends whom we have cruised with two more times and stayed in contact and visited elsewhere.

 

This will give you a large group to meet up with if your friend doesn't want to do anything or decides to stay on the ship and you want to explore the ports. I would not skip ports just because you don't feel safe touring alone. Also make sure you are at a large table for dinner, this also gives you people to join with for other activities.

[BroncosFan2010]

Maybe she does not know what to expect? My parents were like that before their first cruise, now they are already planning excursion for their January 2011 cruise!! It could also be that she has to focus on whatever is happening before the cruise. My husband is getting ready to start a very busy season at work (planning for Christmas 2010), and he is too preoccupied right now to think about our cruise that is 3 months away. I know he is excited, he just has to push through the next few months of work before he will be able to enjoy the cruise.

[3dogmom]

I think it would be a good idea to basically insist that the two of you discuss expectations. It may be that her idea of a cruise is sleeping in, having leisurely meals, lounging about by the pool (or wherever), and so forth. There is nothing wrong with that as a cruise style. But if you think your cruise style is going to be more get up early, have a quick breakfast, head out to explore the port or take part in many onboard activities, and so forth, then it's really important (critical to your friendship even) that the two of you come to an understanding and agreement now. Don't wait until you're onboard and you are frustrated waiting for her to "do something" and she's frustrated that you seem to be pushing her to "do something" all the time.

 

There's nothing wrong with deciding that you won't spend all day and every evening together. Work out what kind of things you want to do together and also figure out what kinds of things/times you'll likely spend apart. It's not at all bad to have separate time for part of the day, "catch up" and tell stories at dinner, and then spend the evening having fun together.

 

There is plenty to do onboard and you can always opt for ship excursions if safety in port is a concern for you.

 

In any case, I hope you both have fun, even though it will likely not be in the same way.

 

beachchick

 

Could not agree with this more. I would make sure she still even wants to go. She might be dreading it, and if your expectations of a fun-filled girlfriend cruise are a bust, you won't have a good time. If you know up-front that you're basically on your own, then you can start making plans to do solo activities. Do not skip the ports. Key West is a very walkable city and there are a lot of organized tours for Cozumel. Check out the ports of call board.

[jerin]

I have some leg problems and always seem to end up overdoing things the first few days and then not being able to walk much and having to park myself somewhere (library, lounge, or cabin) for most of the rest of the cruise, especially on sea days.

 

The last time this happened was on Grandeur. On sea days, I would park myself in the library or the centrum with a book, (sometimes the promenade deck, but it was a Canada/New England and a bit chilly out there) and he would go off to whatever activities while I read or people-watched. We both had a great time. We'd spend the evening in the centrum or the South Seas where he'd dance with his new partners from the dance class. He met enough other people that if I hadn't been able to do much on the port days, he would have had plenty of people to go with (or he could have done ship's excursions, where being off in port alone isn't an issue). We usually ate together for meals, but if he had something that conflicted, I'd go to the MDR for lunch alone, and would always meet nice people. The nice thing about Grandeur is it's not that big, and after a few days, you're running into your dinner tablemates or people you met at some activity or another meal. There's a nice intimacy to the ship that we really enjoyed.

[packercruising]

I think there is a lot of over analyzing being done here. Since neither one has been on a cruise before there really is no basis for forming an opinion. The person you need to talk to is her. Maybe plan to go out to dinner specifically to discuss the cruise. Just because she is not showing excitement doesn't necessarily mean she isn't interested. Maybe it is enough for her that you are excited. A first cruise can be overwhelming. Definitely join the Roll Call and you will have friends on the cruise even if she ends up being a stick-in-the-mud,. :)

[Maraprince]

The benefit of taking a cruise is that everyone can do as much or as little as they choose to do. You are friends and NOT MARRIED to each other. You can choose to do things separately and probably have more fun doing so.

 

I can tell you from personal experience if your cabin mate does not want to participate in some activity and does so just to keep the peace, neither of you will enjoy it. And you can count on hearing about it later! :(

 

Just be sure to let each other know where you will be on the ship, what you plan on doing and when you expect to return. You can arrange to meet back in the cabin just before getting ready for dinner. This way both of you get to do what you enjoy without infringing on the other's peace of mind, enjoyment, or privacy.

 

You will meet other people on the same sailing who may better share your interest in activities. So I would not feel guilty about going off and doing what you are intersted in even if your friend just wants to do nothing.

 

She may have budget concerns that she does not want to share with you. Many of the ports can be seen without taking expensive ship tours. Or, she may have some physical/medical issues she does not want to share with you. Don't press her on it.

 

As the sailing gets closer, bring up the issue of what she expects to do on the trip. Just listen without any comments/critizims. Take you cue from her answers and plan accordingly.

 

Just make up your mind to enjoy your trip and do what interests you.

 

MARAPRINCE

[PrincesScuba]

So... what do you do when the person you're cruising with seems un-interested in the cruise?

 

it's driving me crazy! My friend from high school and I are cruising June 10th on Grandeur, it's the first cruise for both of us-we're both 22. I'm completely out of my mind excited, and she always changes the subject when I bring it up. We've been friends since pretty much forever, but all of the sudden I'm second guessing how much fun this trip will be?! What are my options if she chooses to just sleep the days away?! Is there plenty to do on board on my own? I obviously wouldn't go into port alone for my own personal safety reasons... but I'm just getting sort of bummed out!

 

can anyone please lift my spirits by telling me how much fun this will be?!

 

thanks, cruise critic friends, you're the best!

 

Could not agree with this more. I would make sure she still even wants to go. She might be dreading it, and if your expectations of a fun-filled girlfriend cruise are a bust, you won't have a good time. If you know up-front that you're basically on your own, then you can start making plans to do solo activities. Do not skip the ports. Key West is a very walkable city and there are a lot of organized tours for Cozumel. Check out the ports of call board.

 

 

I agree with 3dogmom.

 

As a matter of fact, Cozumel is perfect. If it turns out that she wants to do port excursions, the two of you would have a fantastic time on the Cozumel Culinary Excursion. If she poops out on you, YOU will have a blast doing this one.

 

Go check it out on http://www.rccl.com

[AF-1]

Reading your original post; it seems your freind has a hidden agenda she is not telling you; here are some subjects to discuss prior to your cruise;

1. is she afraid of the water; is she afraid of going on a vacation where she has no idea of what to expect

2. do one of you like to party while the other doesn't

3. does she have someone back home she doesn't want to leave

 

I would definetely discuss her not being exited; it seems there is something she is not telling you.

[lkdry]

I'll be doing cruises 10 & 11 this summer and I have to admit I am a nervous wreck until I set foot on the ship. I am so worried something will go wrong. I hope the Grandeur is great, that is the ship I am going on in July.

[amybear912]

If I were you, I would probably back off a bit... she may just not be the type who likes extensive talk about vacation leading up to it... my DH is like that...

 

Or she may be feeling pressured from all the talk, as in, you're in charge of the vacation and you have certain expectations that she has to live up to... as you get closer to the cruise, as another poster suggested, maybe you have that conversation about expectations... right around the time you start packing and finalizing your details...

 

DH won't even let me talk cruise to him until we are about 2 weeks away... the reason??? He needs to be focused on work right up until we leave... he's also not into the planning the way that I am... Once we're onboard, he's ready to be on vacation but until then, all that talk does is irritate him and make it hard for him to get through the weeks of work before we leave...

 

Before his first cruise (I had cruised once before), he was a bit of a downer about it... not very excited, didn't think he was going to like it... but once we got there and the sailaway festivities began... he was all over it and loving every minute of it...

 

Share your enthusiasm here... that's what Cruise Critic is for!!!

[mistergq]

I think there is a lot of over analyzing being done here. Since neither one has been on a cruise before there really is no basis for forming an opinion. The person you need to talk to is her. Maybe plan to go out to dinner specifically to discuss the cruise. Just because she is not showing excitement doesn't necessarily mean she isn't interested. Maybe it is enough for her that you are excited. A first cruise can be overwhelming. Definitely join the Roll Call and you will have friends on the cruise even if she ends up being a stick-in-the-mud,. :)

I agree. This is the first cruise and there is no base line for what the proper level of excitement per individual is.

 

Here are my suggestions:

1) join roll call - that way, you have a backup plan if you friend is not into the cruise.

2) plan things that you want to do. You can bring them up to your friend, if she does not want to do them, you can either do something with her or on your own.

3) don't be afraid to do things by yourself. A week can be a long time with a good/best friend. Trust me, I took a week long vacation with a best friend when I was 22 and by the end of the trip, we were ready to kill each other.

 

Plan on having a good time and be willing to go with the flow. Don't let others bring you down if they are not having a good time.

[TEXASMUNK]

Do not let her drag you down!

 

Get over to the CC Meet & Mingle...sign up.

Look for the singles get togethers onboard.

Keep an eye out, there will be a ton of friendly fooks you might be able to join for various shore excursions.

if you plan to book tours, you might consider spending a just few dollars more and book through the ship, that way your day is spent with folks common interests and you are not alone on shore.

If you plan shopping on shore, go for it!

On board>.days....pool...park your self near folks of your similar age or that you may have inroduced yourself to for example on sail away day.

Shows...go

onboard clubbing...go

Leave the Anchor in the cabin...

[SRQfireman]

So... what do you do when the person you're cruising with seems un-interested in the cruise?

 

it's driving me crazy! My friend from high school and I are cruising June 10th on Grandeur, it's the first cruise for both of us-we're both 22. I'm completely out of my mind excited, and she always changes the subject when I bring it up. We've been friends since pretty much forever, but all of the sudden I'm second guessing how much fun this trip will be?! What are my options if she chooses to just sleep the days away?! Is there plenty to do on board on my own? I obviously wouldn't go into port alone for my own personal safety reasons... but I'm just getting sort of bummed out!

 

can anyone please lift my spirits by telling me how much fun this will be?!

 

thanks, cruise critic friends, you're the best!

as mentioned, find out why she doesn't want to talk about it...there's something underlying here.

Where you from in SE Wis?

[gerif]

My first cruise was with a friend many years ago. It was pretty port intensive and she was really into getting on a tour bus every day, visiting tourist attractions, shopping for souveniers and taking a ton of pictures. I, OTOH, had had it with old churches, graveyards, tourist traps, etc., by day three - and I didn't even own a camera (oh, and I didn't come home with a single souvenier). She didn't care for the water at all and would not get on a small boat. So, I told her the next day that she would find me at the pool when she came back from her excursion (thus discovering the joys of staying on the ship on port days) and that I would be taking a "booze cruise" the next day.

 

After that "declaration of independence" we were great since we were each doing exactly what we wanted. We still had dinner and went to shows at night but felt we were each enjoying OUR vacation.

 

Now that I cruise with DH, we still spend some time doing things that we want to do that the other does not. Works out fine. There are tons of activities to enjoy - or just enjoy reading a book.

[lady_cruiser]

Just wait until you get on the ship and see how your friend acts. If all she wants to do is sit back, relax and sleep all day let her. This is her vacation too. You will find plenty of people on the ship that will probably be going on the same tours you want to so you can probably hook up with them. My sister and I (my cruising buddy and VBF) always seem to find a solo passenger or two who is on one of our tours; whether it is a paid tour or just a walking tour that we do on our own. And these solo travelers are more than welcome to join us if they want. In fact I almost encourage to join us on tours or even at the shows on the ship. The more the merrier.

 

The best thing to do right now is just to make plans to dine together every night and then take it one day at a time. She might even surprise you once she is on the ship. I talk, talk, talk about my cruise and plans for months before I board. My sister, on the other hand, is quiet and reserve but once she starts walking up that gang plank she gets excited and really enjoys herself.

 

"Be patience my little grasshopper!"