Cruise as a Family or Just Adults?

[ilovetexas]

I've been on 4 cruises. The first one was a 3 day Carnival Bahamas with hubby and the kids, had a great time. The second was a 7 day Celebrity Alaska with just me and hubby. I think we saw 10 kids on that ship the whole week, it was wonderful. Then back to Carnival for a 5 day with just my mother, no hubby or kids. That was nice because I didn't have to worry about anyone else. We each did what we wanted when we wanted, sometimes together and sometimes not and we both loved it. Then on to a 3 day Disney in the Bahamas with the hubby and kids.

 

See a pattern? If I had more money, I might take longer cruises and more often with my kids. For now, I agree with the couple of people who said, mix it up. My kids want beaches and sun and that's not what I enjoy most about a vacation.

[Cruisin' Chick]

Just like some of you, we have an only child, and we have always taken her along on every vacation. My hubby was hesitate to take her along on a cruise, and we didn't go anywhere for several months after she was born. Just day trips to Disneyland and Sea World, and other places within a day's drive.

 

We finally took her on her first cruise when she was 23 months of age. One month short of being able to put her in Camp Carnival, but we wanted to pair our cruise with a trip to San Diego to see Tall Ships. We did a three day cruise, which was fantastic. And for those who say, she won't remember any of it, who cares. We have photos of her checking out the ship and totally enjoying herself. She behaved (no temper tantums, no crying at night). She even enjoyed the show (we sat near the back just in case we needed to make a quick exit, but we didn't; the month before we had taken her to Blues Clues Live, which was interactive, but she was in total awe of the dancers and music).

 

And for anyone who pooh poohs taking kids anywhere, etc., just tell them that any activity of a positive nature is good for them as it increases brain cell activity (at least it probably does; a friend who got her masters in audiology told me to make sure my baby got exposed to different languages as that it increases brain synapses).

 

We too don't have a support base of relatives who can watch our child. Plus, she works hard in school so whenever we go away, she can get a well-deserved vacation too.

[mcfam5]

I accidentally voted "ALWAYS" thinking it meant we always cruise WITH our kids! Oh well!

 

We LOVE cruising as a family vacation, our kids prefer it to any other vacation, hands down. We typically cruise two times per year as a family.

[QTMichele]

We're still newbies, but prefer a mixture of vacations and almost always include our kids. :) Having said that, our first cruise was without kids - our kids needed a break from us ;) and we needed some reconnect time with each other. Our last cruise was with the kids - and they LOVED it! Unfortunately, my DH couldn't make it (work called... :( ). Our upcoming Allure cruise will be for DH and me - another reconnect vacation. I would love for our kids to be on Allure - I know they would LOVE it! BUT... we need that one-on-one time. Now, before you start feeling too bad for our kids, they've travelled with us all summer, plus have a Disney trip coming up, and we will book a family cruise once we are onboard Allure. :D We're also planning a family reunion cruise for 2012. SO.... do I feel guilty? Yep, but just a little bit. Overall, I'm thrilled that our kids are well adjusted (well, mostly! LOL) and we have a great marriage in part because we take time to put our marriage first so that we can be the best parents we can be. Corny? Yep, but I make no apologies. ;)

[sailinglisa]

Michele - as as health care professional, I can say you have a VERY healthy attitude! I cringe when I hear about parents who NEVER take time away from their kids. I know many of those who posted here do say the take time away from their kids, just not on a cruise. Then there are those who do EVERYTHING with their kids. What will happen when that/those child/children grow up and the parents all of a sudden realize they have nothing more in common? They were so focused on being a family and parents that they spent no time reconnecting to each other. Kids grow up and move on........parents who are smart actually do spend time apart from their kids while they are growing up to re-energize their marriage and realize that when the kids are grown up and gone, they will still be married to each other.

[A&Jfamily]

Michele - as as health care professional, I can say you have a VERY healthy attitude! I cringe when I hear about parents who NEVER take time away from their kids. I know many of those who posted here do say the take time away from their kids, just not on a cruise. Then there are those who do EVERYTHING with their kids. What will happen when that/those child/children grow up and the parents all of a sudden realize they have nothing more in common? They were so focused on being a family and parents that they spent no time reconnecting to each other. Kids grow up and move on........parents who are smart actually do spend time apart from their kids while they are growing up to re-energize their marriage and realize that when the kids are grown up and gone, they will still be married to each other.

 

While I do agree that parents should take time away from the kids, it doesn't mean that it has to be done in the form of a vacation. First, many people don't have the luxuory of having a family member near by who is in good enough health to care for the kids while they travel. And second, working moms like me really enjoy spending those few precious weeks off with the family as a whole and seeing the world together.

 

I feel that it is important for couples to have time alone, but this can be just as easily accomplished with date nights or an occasional night away.

[mjkacmom]

Well, we have cruised without the kids, and usually get away without them at least once a year (but not cruising). I honestly don't understand the reasoning of something happening to us or the children - we're not together 24/7 anyway (right now one is out of state, and two are across town, and the other two are about to be picked up). We also vacation with them as well.

[mjkacmom]

DH and I planned our family and waited before having our DD. We did this so that we could share all of our lives together.

 

I didn't get married, simply to get married - DH is my best friend. We didn't have a kid simply to have one - she is also our best friend.

 

Can't imagine travelling without DH or without DD.

 

I dated my DH 6 years before getting married (and knew him for 15 years). He is my best friend, but I'd travel without him. I love my kids more than anything in the world, but I am their parent, not their best friend. I travel with and without them. I look forward to when they reach adulthood, and I can be their friend, like I am with my parents, and DH with his. My children have many friends, but only two parents. Lucky for me, among the five of them, a few of them consider their siblings to be their best friends.

[QTMichele]

I dated my DH 6 years before getting married (and knew him for 15 years). He is my best friend, but I'd travel without him. I love my kids more than anything in the world, but I am their parent, not their best friend. I travel with and without them. I look forward to when they reach adulthood, and I can be their friend, like I am with my parents, and DH with his. My children have many friends, but only two parents. Lucky for me, among the five of them, a few of them consider their siblings to be their best friends.

 

My mom and I were just talking about this last week. We both feel that we are parents first, then can become friends once our kids are adults. This doesn't mean that I'm not "friendly" and fun with my own kids, but they have to know that their dad and I are "boss." As I mentioned earlier, our kids, even though young (10, 6 and 1), are pretty well adjusted, usually responsible, and overall great kids who respect their elders.

[akcruz]

My mom and I were just talking about this last week. We both feel that we are parents first, then can become friends once our kids are adults. This doesn't mean that I'm not "friendly" and fun with my own kids, but they have to know that their dad and I are "boss." As I mentioned earlier, our kids, even though young (10, 6 and 1), are pretty well adjusted, usually responsible, and overall great kids who respect their elders.

 

I very much agree with this statment. My daughter is now 20 and we are at that inbetween stage, growing out of parent but not yet to full friend stage. We took a long weekend to Atlantis about a month ago, just the 2 of us. We got along well, but more as friends which was very nice. I am proud to call her my daughter, she is a bright young lady, respectable, well adjusted, and fun to be around.

 

In her younger days, she had some friends who's parents tried to be a friend over being a parent. At this point they stay as far away from their parents as they can, had way too much of them when they were younger. One of them could not understand how my DD would go away with just me, said she would never do that with her mother. My DD told her you just don't get it, I like being around my mom! Glad to hear it

[notentirelynormal]

While I do agree that parents should take time away from the kids, it doesn't mean that it has to be done in the form of a vacation. First, many people don't have the luxuory of having a family member near by who is in good enough health to care for the kids while they travel. And second, working moms like me really enjoy spending those few precious weeks off with the family as a whole and seeing the world together.

 

I feel that it is important for couples to have time alone, but this can be just as easily accomplished with date nights or an occasional night away.

 

That's what I was thinking too. Our kids almost always went with us on cruises. We worked Monday through Friday and saw our kids to get them ready for school, then afterwards before we put them to bed for the night and on the weekends. I had plenty of time to spend with my DH and talk alone. My kids didn't have to be in another state for me to find alone time with him.

 

Now that my kids are grown, I have plenty in common with them and with my DH and our marriage is going strong - 35 years so far.

[Onessa]

. . . We both feel that we are parents first, then can become friends once our kids are adults. . . .but they have to know that their dad and I are "boss." . . . well adjusted, usually responsible, and overall great kids who respect their elders.

 

I. . . . My daughter is now 20 and we are at that inbetween stage, growing out of parent but not yet to full friend stage. . . . proud to call her my daughter, she is a bright young lady, respectable, well adjusted, and fun to be around. . . In her younger days, she had some friends who's parents tried to be a friend over being a parent. . . .

 

Hey whatever works for you is fine.

 

I have feel that ANY friendship is rooted in mutual respect - so being a friend with your child should not in any way imply that your kid will walk all over you.

 

I respect my child and she respects me. I value her opinion, and she values mine.

 

Simply because I consider my DD to be a friend also does not mean that she is super glued to my side. We respect and trust each other enough that she has as much or more freedom than many kids her age.

 

I do not consider myself the "boss" and her some sort of "underling" - and to us that means that each of us feels that we have responsibilities for each other, for the rest of the family, for the house we call home, for the community in which we live. And I don't have to tell her that she has those resposibilities, I don't have to order her to take on those responsibilities -- I have demonstrated throughout her life what those responsibilities mean and she has taken them on without needing proding.

 

Parenthood and friendship are not mutually exclusive. I feel that respect that I have earned is more genuine than respect that I would have commanded.

[akcruz]

Hey whatever works for you is fine.

 

I have feel that ANY friendship is rooted in mutual respect - so being a friend with your child should not in any way imply that your kid will walk all over you.

 

I respect my child and she respects me. I value her opinion, and she values mine.

 

Simply because I consider my DD to be a friend also does not mean that she is super glued to my side. We respect and trust each other enough that she has as much or more freedom than many kids her age.

 

I do not consider myself the "boss" and her some sort of "underling" - and to us that means that each of us feels that we have responsibilities for each other, for the rest of the family, for the house we call home, for the community in which we live. And I don't have to tell her that she has those resposibilities, I don't have to order her to take on those responsibilities -- I have demonstrated throughout her life what those responsibilities mean and she has taken them on without needing proding.

 

Parenthood and friendship are not mutually exclusive. I feel that respect that I have earned is more genuine than respect that I would have commanded.

 

I agree, whatever works for you and your family. No two families are alike and nobody can tell you what works best for you.

 

Where I will caution you, and I am not saying it is the case with you at all, is that I have seen parents who think they are in the situation you outline above, but the kids have a completely different perspective on the situation. I have seen it backfire with one of my daughters friends who's mom thought she had such a friendship with her daugter and now they barely speak. She tolerated her mothers friendship while living at home, now that she is older she doesn't have to any more.

[QTMichele]

Hey whatever works for you is fine.

 

I have feel that ANY friendship is rooted in mutual respect - so being a friend with your child should not in any way imply that your kid will walk all over you.

 

I respect my child and she respects me. I value her opinion, and she values mine.

 

Simply because I consider my DD to be a friend also does not mean that she is super glued to my side. We respect and trust each other enough that she has as much or more freedom than many kids her age.

 

I do not consider myself the "boss" and her some sort of "underling" - and to us that means that each of us feels that we have responsibilities for each other, for the rest of the family, for the house we call home, for the community in which we live. And I don't have to tell her that she has those resposibilities, I don't have to order her to take on those responsibilities -- I have demonstrated throughout her life what those responsibilities mean and she has taken them on without needing proding.

 

Parenthood and friendship are not mutually exclusive. I feel that respect that I have earned is more genuine than respect that I would have commanded.

 

Your posts "sounds" as if I have offended you, especially since you've quoted some of my thoughts with your own rebuttal. Ultimately, I am the "boss" because I am the one who is responsible for my children. I do not have "perfect" kids (perfect for me, but certainly not perfect) and do find that they need guidance, direction and discipline from time to time. Sometimes I fail, and sometimes they fail, but, we are not perfect and perfection is never the expectation. We have a tremendous amount of love and respect for each other and are very blessed to have each other - I trust you feel the same with your family.

 

My initial intention was to answer why I choose to cruise with or without my children. This is a personal decision for our family, and I do not expect anyone to make decisions based on what is right for MY family. Obviously, we are all unique and must make decisions based on these individual differences. We're all entitled to our own opinions, but attacking others for their own value systems seems to be short sighted and single minded (speaking in general, not directed at you personally).

 

I find the parenting boards to be pretty open minded without the drama found on the main boards. My intention was never to offend, but to simply answer the OP, then reply in support of another poster. I'm confident that the majority of people here are wonderful, loving parents doing the best they can to raise well-adjusted, responsible, contributing members of society. :)

[QTMichele]

I think we are in the minority here, but I totally agree with this. But, then black Lab owners are usually quite wise :).

 

LOL - I own a black lab as well. :) She'll be 12 in a few months.

 

You are so right.........however (and I don't mean to hijack this thread), the black lab in my avatar, Gusto, went over the rainbow bridge this past Saturday. I miss him so much. Right now, I can't bring myself to think about getting another dog. Maybe in the future, but right now, it feels like I've lost a member of my family.....he was almost 15. How old is your beauty in your avatar?

 

Back to the topic on hand..........

 

I'm so sorry. :(

 

We are never without our kids, this might be good or bad.

 

We have five kids and don't have much of a support system at all so we have to rely on each other. Neither of DH's parents are around, and we have no siblings. My mom is older and her health isn't so good. She used to watch the kids for us one wknd a year so we can get away and that doesn't work anymore.

 

All of our vacations are with the kids, and luckily for them, we love to vacation!

 

You have a BEAUTIFUL family!!! :) How old are your children?

[teachnh]

We do a mix and love it all. I like the time away with my husband to just be a couple. I love cruising with my kids and sharing that adventure. Last October we cruised with 5 other couples we are friends with and had a great time. It was a short cruise M-F cruise. When we got back my then five year old said, "Next time can you go a bit longer? Nana and I were having a lot of fun shopping all the time!" :D Do what makes you and your family happy. This combination works well for us.

[Onessa]

. . . Where I will caution you, and I am not saying it is the case with you at all, is that I have seen parents who think they are in the situation you outline above, but the kids have a completely different perspective on the situation. I have seen it backfire with one of my daughters friends who's mom thought she had such a friendship with her daugter and now they barely speak. She tolerated her mothers friendship while living at home, now that she is older she doesn't have to any more.

 

I think we can all tell stories about parenting strategies that "back fired" --

+ a high school aquintance of mine who was SO obsessed with making certain her DD didn't make the same mistakes that she did that she set so many rules that her DD admitted to getting pregnant at 15 "just to get back at" her mom.

+ My DD's classmate's older brother who was the perfect son following every instruction his parents gave him for 18 years. The parents never would have considered their son a "friend" - they describe them selves as the "boss". Well the son moved out at the stroke of midnight of his 18th birthday and has not spoken to either parent since.

+My high school boyfriend whose father was so domineering that he recently admitted to me that pretty much everything he did over the past 32 years he weighed it against a barameter of "what would dad have done" and he did the opposite (of course his dad was a greedy businessman so my friend is a money-poor, but life-experience-rich, employee of a multinational NPO dealing with human rights issues -- so he still "turned out ok" at least as far as he is concerned, his dad still can't figure out where he went "wrong").

 

So again do what works for YOU -- I'm doing what works for me. My DD is my friend and having a rich multi-layered relationship with my DD is not a problem for me.

 

Your posts "sounds" as if I have offended you, . . . .

 

. . . .but attacking others for their own value systems seems to be short sighted and single minded (speaking in general, not directed at you personally).

 

I was responding to multiple posts that construed the fact that I consider my DD and I to be "friends" as a negative thing. I need to say that being a "friend" to your child does not need to mean that the parent is allowing the child to run the family or if you are a friend to your kid that that means the parent allows the child to disrespect the parent.

 

I don't know what "friend" means to you or the others whose posts exclaim gloom-and-doom predictions for parents who consider their kids to be their friends. My comment that my kid is among my best friends, to me, means that kid is my friend. I expect my friends to like being with me and respect me - and I like being with and respect my friends. So I expect my kid to like and respect me and I like and respect her. And we do -- is respect and actually liking to spend time together bad?

 

My mom and I were friends throughout our relationship. We may not have agreed about everything -- but throughout our time together we always respected each other. I grew up to be a good constructive member of society -- BBA summa cum laud, MBA, full-time job, home owner, tax payer, girl scout leader, volunteer at a literacy center, etc. (the whole Roman Catholic thing didn't stick but I still live a moral/ethical life)

 

There is no one "right" way. And if I choose to use the word "friend" to describe my relationship with my DD -I don't need anyone to caution me that it is somehow "bad" and to tell me stories about how they know someone who was a friend to their kid and how "bad" that was and to assume that just because I consider my DD a friend that that means that I am somehow not being a parent.

 

So I stick by my original opinion -- I like my kid, I like spending time with my kid, and I cannot imagine taking an exciting trip without having her there with me to share the experience. (and lesson learned, I'll never call her a "friend" again on this board -- or maybe I will if for no other reason that she is my friend! :D)

[QTMichele]

So I stick by my original opinion -- I like my kid, I like spending time with my kid, ... (and lesson learned, I'll never call her a "friend" again on this board -- or maybe I will if for no other reason that she is my friend! :D)

 

I'm so glad for you. :) This is the way it should be! I know this is how I feel too. ;) And go ahead and use the word "friend" - if that's how you feel, then go for it. Who cares what strangers think, right? For what it's worth, I think we just define the word differently - I'm very friendly with my children, but I also know when they have to be reigned in. I know that some parents don't feel the need to ever discipline (and I use this term to mean "educate," not physical discipline as in spanking), but I view that as part of my job (hence the term "boss"). Linguistics on message boards often get in the way, but I'm assuming that we share more similarities than differences. Bottom line - we love our kid/s and want the best for them.

[WAHMto5]

We take the younger 3 to Disney every year (12, 8 & 5) and have only cruised with our 2 older children (18 & 21). It is nice since they go their own most of the time.

Next year we are planning on taking all of them together as we think they are now all old enough to enjoy it. We are also planning on taking another one with just the DH and myself;)

[Rockinmomla]

I was just wondering how many people choose to cruise without their minor children.

 

I have never been able to bring myself to do it, as my oldest, 12, is from my first marriage. His father was an alcoholic, and I was so afraid of what would happen to him if something happened to me. Then, this March, my ex died, so I feel it even more strongly.

 

When my kids are grown, I will go adults only. But for now, even for our Anniversary, the kids are going. Their own room, across the hall!

 

 

My dh and I were just discussing this the other day! I am happy to see this post and to read everyone’s thoughts on this….

 

We have been happily married for 9 years and we take a one week vacation together every year. We have done 3 cruises and when we are not cruising, we fly out to another lovely destination! We have never taken the kids on any of “our vacations.” This time has historically been for “Mom and Dad” to spend the week loving on each other and reconnecting as another poster mentioned. ;) We also have a wonderful support system so it makes leaving them home that much easier. (of course we miss them but we know they are well taken care of)

 

However, we do other things with our children locally. We live in California so we enjoy Disneyland, water parks, Lego land, Sea world, and an occasional trip to the mountains to go snow boarding! Dh and I decided when we first had kids that we would forego the plane rides and long road trips until the kids were much older. (out of diapers, able to feed and groom themselves and could follow simple directions!) :p Well, my daughter is turning 6 this year and my son is turning 8. I think it might be time to introduce them to their first cruise??? :confused:

 

Dh and I leave in two weeks for the Caribbean (Carnival’s Victory) however, I would like to start planning our first family cruise when I return. I am thinking we should start with a 4 or 5 day since this is their first? Now I have to figure out where!?!?! So many choices…. I see that Carnival has quite a few activities for the kids and they even have babysitting which is great. My dh is concerned – he’s not convinced yet on taking the kids on our next cruise as he wants to be sure that WE are still going to have a good time too and its not going to be just about the kids. He’s a little nervous about giving up “our time.” But from what I am reading we can ALL have fun right….?

 

And of course, dh and I can schedule a few days away - just the two of us - on other occasions in the future. I would love to get some feedback for those who might have two cents to add. :D

Thanks!

 

D

[A&Jfamily]

My dh and I were just discussing this the other day! I am happy to see this post and to read everyone’s thoughts on this….

 

We have been happily married for 9 years and we take a one week vacation together every year. We have done 3 cruises and when we are not cruising, we fly out to another lovely destination! We have never taken the kids on any of “our vacations.” This time has historically been for “Mom and Dad” to spend the week loving on each other and reconnecting as another poster mentioned. ;) We also have a wonderful support system so it makes leaving them home that much easier. (of course we miss them but we know they are well taken care of)

 

However, we do other things with our children locally. We live in California so we enjoy Disneyland, water parks, Lego land, Sea world, and an occasional trip to the mountains to go snow boarding! Dh and I decided when we first had kids that we would forego the plane rides and long road trips until the kids were much older. (out of diapers, able to feed and groom themselves and could follow simple directions!) :p Well, my daughter is turning 6 this year and my son is turning 8. I think it might be time to introduce them to their first cruise??? :confused:

 

Dh and I leave in two weeks for the Caribbean (Carnival’s Victory) however, I would like to start planning our first family cruise when I return. I am thinking we should start with a 4 or 5 day since this is their first? Now I have to figure out where!?!?! So many choices…. I see that Carnival has quite a few activities for the kids and they even have babysitting which is great. My dh is concerned – he’s not convinced yet on taking the kids on our next cruise as he wants to be sure that WE are still going to have a good time too and its not going to be just about the kids. He’s a little nervous about giving up “our time.” But from what I am reading we can ALL have fun right….?

 

And of course, dh and I can schedule a few days away - just the two of us - on other occasions in the future. I would love to get some feedback for those who might have two cents to add. :D

 

Thanks!

 

D

 

We started family cruising when my youngest was just shy of 3 and my oldest just shy of 9 - would have gone the year before but the little one would not have qualified for camp.

 

They LOVE it. Camp is fabulous. Great age appropriate activities. At 6 and 8 they would be in the same group, so that is a great time to start. Once the older turns 9, he/she will move up.

 

I wouldn't hesitate to take a week long cruise, even for a first one. We took a 7 day to Western Carribean. I actually think it is easier because you feel like you get a full vacation and don't feel rushed to cram in all the stuff. As I am sure you know, there are so many things to do on a cruise, you can't possibly accomplish them all in one trip.

 

We think it is a great family vacation because with the camp times and the availablity of babysitting for after hours, mom and dad can still get plenty of couple time, and at the same, time, still do all your meals and shore excursions as a family.

[Rockinmomla]

We started family cruising when my youngest was just shy of 3 and my oldest just shy of 9 - would have gone the year before but the little one would not have qualified for camp.

 

They LOVE it. Camp is fabulous. Great age appropriate activities. At 6 and 8 they would be in the same group, so that is a great time to start. Once the older turns 9, he/she will move up.

 

I wouldn't hesitate to take a week long cruise, even for a first one. We took a 7 day to Western Carribean. I actually think it is easier because you feel like you get a full vacation and don't feel rushed to cram in all the stuff. As I am sure you know, there are so many things to do on a cruise, you can't possibly accomplish them all in one trip.

 

We think it is a great family vacation because with the camp times and the availablity of babysitting for after hours, mom and dad can still get plenty of couple time, and at the same, time, still do all your meals and shore excursions as a family.

 

Great to hear - I feel better already! Thank you so much!

 

D

[A&Jfamily]

Great to hear - I feel better already! Thank you so much!

 

D

 

No problem. I think you will find this to be a pretty universal response about traveling on a cruise as a family. There are several posters on here who might be Disney or RCI fans but they all find cruising to be a great affordable family vacation.

[Rockinmomla]

No problem. I think you will find this to be a pretty universal response about traveling on a cruise as a family. There are several posters on here who might be Disney or RCI fans but they all find cruising to be a great affordable family vacation.

 

Now the hard part - choosing which cruise! :D I will start reading some reviews...thanks again.

[ilovetexas]

No problem. I think you will find this to be a pretty universal response about traveling on a cruise as a family. There are several posters on here who might be Disney or RCI fans but they all find cruising to be a great affordable family vacation.

 

We've taken the kids on two of our cruises and I'm about to take just my 13 year old daughter on one. Ours were 7, 8, and 10 the first time. It was just a short three day and none of us were ready to get off the ship at the end. If the kids had their way, we wouldn't have seen them the entire time! They were at Camp Carnival, at the pool, in the cabin watching TV late at night, etc. We had to force them to eat with us on formal night. :) We did, however, snorkel with them on the shore excursion, they couldn't avoid us then.

 

So, the kids having fun is no problem. Mom and Dad getting alone time is no problem. But the best part (especially as the boys are now turning 11 and 12) is that the food is a non stop trough and they think it's GREAT! It would cost me more than the cruise fare alone just to feed them like that for three days. Throw in the entertainment and lodging on top of that and it is easily the most affordable family vacation I can think of.

 

We love cruising now and just wish we could go more often.