Anyone think it's selfish to insist on bringing an infant onboard?

[Fondofcruising]

I don't think we're unlike many of you who save up all year, working jobs that might be stressful, to look forward to a relaxing cruise to unwind. For some of us it's a once-in-a-lifetime celebration, for others it's a rest from a health battle. Now it's a given that the quarters are small and close together. How fair is it to the passengers that some parents bring an infant onboard? Babies cry, that's what they do. They can cry in the early morning and in the middle of the night. Is that fair to do to someone next door?

 

If there's any cruise where one can expect to see babies, it would be on a Disney cruise as that is marketed to children. I wish that parents would either wait for their children were out of the "meltdown" zone or would arrange for babysitting back at home if they're not going to cruise the Disney ships. A baby is not going to remember the trip. If you can't find any resources - meaning no one wants to babysit back home (hmm), then why not consider others and consider other modes of travel than cruises.

[seattlekckckc]

I am sure you will be getting plenty of responses on this one! While I dont have children of my own yet I have traveled with children quite often. I guess the #1 reason why someone would want to be "selfish" is to spend time toghter as a family. WHile I cant remember every single moment of the family vacations we took when I was a baby and child, they all shaped and formed my development and make me who I am today.

 

I think it is a little selfish to not want any children on a ship with you. So where does it stop?? I dont smoke, and I find smoking an inconviencience. Sometimes some older person may make a fuss over something and be loud. What about people who walk on the wrong side of the staircases? They annoy me at times. SHould I want them off?? WHere does it end? When you get a perfectly groomed group of travelers??

 

JMHO, Casey

[kryos]

If there's any cruise where one can expect to see babies, it would be on a Disney cruise as that is marketed to children. I wish that parents would either wait for their children were out of the "meltdown" zone or would arrange for babysitting back at home if they're not going to cruise the Disney ships. A baby is not going to remember the trip. If you can't find any resources - meaning no one wants to babysit back home (hmm), then why not consider others and consider other modes of travel than cruises.

As a single woman, I understand what you are saying. Crying babies are not my thing either. But, that said ... in all fairness, though, those parents have just as much right to bring their babies on the cruise as you have to be there. If the parents are willing to pay the fare for the baby, then who the hell am I to tell them they shouldn't bring him?

 

Of course, when parents travel with young children, I would hope they'd be considerate enough of others to try to quiet the baby quickly ... especially if the crying is occurring in the cabin late at night, or at the table in the dining room, or anywhere else where it is likely to disturb others.

 

It is nice to say leave the baby with family, but sometimes that is just not possible. Maybe other family members work, and are not too anxious to lose a week's pay just so you can go on a cruise. Maybe there are no reliable family members to leave the baby with. Maybe mom and dad just don't want to be separated from their infant that long.

 

Whatever the reason, some people will always choose to travel with their young children, and the only thing I can suggest is if it bothers you that much, cruise on an adults-only type cruiseline.

 

Blue skies ...

 

--rita

[kryos]

I think it is a little selfish to not want any children on a ship with you. So where does it stop?? I dont smoke, and I find smoking an inconviencience. Sometimes some older person may make a fuss over something and be loud. What about people who walk on the wrong side of the staircases? They annoy me at times. SHould I want them off?? WHere does it end? When you get a perfectly groomed group of travelers??

You make a good point. I smoke, and while I have no problem following the rules and smoking only in designated areas, I would sure as hell have a problem being told I could smoke nowhere on the ship just because someone didn't like it.

 

Frankly, I hate to say it, but I've been more annoyed by the many cranky, complaining, annoying older people on ships than by the behavior of any of the infants and children. I wonder sometimes why some of these elderly pax even bother cruising ... they seem to have so many complaints ... and so constantly. Some of them also seem to think that just because they are older and sporting a cane or a walker, that they have the right to butt into line and push me out of the way without so much as an "excuse me."

 

No, to be honest ... most of the children ... even the occasionally screaming infant ... are a joy to be around in comparison to some of these people.

 

Blue skies ...

 

--rita

[cruzelovr]

People would take an infant on a cruise because they want to spend time together as a family. Lives these days are so busy with work and other demands, it's nice to get away for a week and be pampered a little bit. Any why wouldn't you take your children. I can't believe (and I know people who have done it) that people would cruise without their kids, regardless of their ages.

 

BTW, Disney cruises are much more expensive than other "family" lines. They are nice, I've been on one, before I had kids.

 

Babies are a part of cruising and I'm looking forward to bringing my baby on her 1st cruise this fall. She'll be 14 months old, she's a good traveller (we just got back from Walt Disney World last month) and she is quite mild mannered...so far. Hopefully that will continue. But if she wants to cry at dinner, either DW or myself will remove ourselves with the little one. If she starts to cry in the show, we'll leave. If she's crying in our stateroom in the middle of the night, I'll put her in her stroller and walk her around outside where no one will hear her over the ocean waves...

 

Anyway, it's kind of sad that people have to wonder about infants and cruising. Why have kids if you're just going to leave them with other people.

 

If you think your kids are a burden... you screwed up somewhere along the way.....

[jimneycrkit]

Frankly I can't see why someone would want to travel with a baby or small child. Its too stressful for both the child and the parent. I think that it is a generational thing. When I was growing up, I am 47, my parents would have never taken myself or my brother on a trip such as a cruise. People just did not take small children in public that often. When my son was small, he is now 19, I would have never thought to take him to the movies as is very common now, or on a cruise. I would worry too much he would cry at the wrong time or as a toddler act up. Now with couples both working and not spending much time with their children as they used to do, people take their children everywhere. I think it is guilt. Unfortunately the children act up, cry and make for very stressed out parents.Why people want to travel with all that stuff also is beyond me, strollers, diapers, toys, food etc. I took my son on his first cruise when he was 12. It was a Disney cruise. He loved it. I would also send him to camp every summer and travel on my own without him. I never felt the need to take him everywhere. My parents watched him every summer also and gave me a much needed break away from him and the stresses of raising a child. That is a real vacation. My son was taken on trips that were geared towards children and he has seen quite a bit of the world, but not until he was old enough to really appreciate it. Many parents for some reason feel they are entitled to just subject their children on anyone and everyone. Unfortunately these children are often not very well behaved. Last cruise in Dec I was on, the elavator tag games were constant and the parents were never seen.

 

As far as seasoned citizens go that are cranky or pushy, I know what you mean. My mom is 80 and does the same thing. where she lives at a senior community, they all line up and then push to be the first in line. They complain and feel like they are entitled to complain. Sort of like a toddler. They get messy when they eat, get lost, and whine. So now instead of traveling with a child , I am traveling with a senior, not sure which is worse.

[spongerob]

LOL, Melissa!

[CariBlue]

You are going to get SO slammed for saying this. Hmm, are you having a slow night and looking for excitement? Well, you'll definitely get it.

 

The first time I ever posted to this board, I asked if it was possible to ask the Maitre'D' to seat me with adults only at dinner, and you should have seen the way I was lambasted by people who were, for some reason, insulted. They then proceeded to tell me that dining with their child would be a pleasure, an absolute dream come true. (Dude, didn't you know that everyone who uses these boards has perfect children?)

[babsee101]

Anyway, it's kind of sad that people have to wonder about infants and cruising. Why have kids if you're just going to leave them with other people.

 

If you think your kids are a burden... you screwed up somewhere along the way.....

 

That's taking it too far! There is nothing wrong with taking a little time away from your child/children to spend together, or alone if that's the case. I love my children but no one is going to tell me that I am a bad parent if I go on a vacation with out them!

Why are people so judgemental...if it's not their way it is wrong.

Bring all the kids you want...I don't care! I am not bringing mine.

[bjboothman]

I can't believe (and I know people who have done it) that people would cruise without their kids, regardless of their ages.

 

QUOTE]

 

 

People cruise or vacation without their kids because it is good for their marriage to spend time as a couple and remember what it is about each other that they found so endearing as to make them want to spend every day of their lives together. Once people have children, every conversation and every single facet of life tends to revolve around them. No matter how much you love your children, it's good to remember that in less than 18 short years they will separate from you and your life as a single or couple will go on. It's good to keep the marital fires burning in the meantime. This is a phenomenon that is best seen in retrospect.

 

Now having responded to that issue, no I don't think it's selfish to bring an infant on a cruise. Yes, the infant is just as happy at Grandma's home (if that's an option) as he/she is on the cruise ship. No, the child will not remember the experience. But if it adds to the parents' enjoyment of their vacation to carry a child and all the requisite belongings along with them when the travel, that's their business not mine. When my children (now 19 and 23) were small, we did some shorter weekend trips or occasionally rented a place at the beach, but didn't take a trip to Disney until they were 6 and 10 and able to walk around the park under their own steam and listen to and obey directions. That's just me.

 

As the original poster pointed out, infants can be annoying to others; I'd hope that considerate, responsible parents would remove a child from a situation when he/she is annoying others. However, infants are probably the least annoying of all the people I might find on a cruise. If we are going to ban kids, I'd probably get rid of those from 11-17 first, they are the oftentimes rude ones who are allowed to run around the ship without supervision and who disturb passengers. And as rita correctly pointed out, why on earth do the cranky folks even bother to cruise? I think they derive their pleasure out of being miserable. They are a much bigger and louder thorn in my side than any small child I've ever met.

[cyndepet]

Looks like someone is trying to stir the pot here. OP has 1 post to his/her credit!

[sue d. miller]

I'm a Gram, I'll give you my take on it!! I cruise once a year, raised 8 kids , now raising two Grandkids, Have a total of 10 grandkids. and two great grands. I take them, they take turns, because I enjoy them, but I have rules. My rules, along with Mom and Dad's. I don't like wild kids, including mine!! I would never dream of having any of them irritate another passenger. So far they have not, so they still go!! Their options are not pretty. :)

[Pam in CA]

I don't think it's selfish to bring your children, or infants. When my daughter was 4 or 5, we took her on her first cruise. She loved it and still has wonderful memories. (And got hooked but that's another topic. :) )

 

To me, it's not so much bringing a small child or infant but if you do, understand that you're in very close quarters with many other people who have looked forward to the vacation as much as you have and don't want to be disturbed for whatever reason, and there are many of them. That's their right as much as its yours to bring your child/infant.

 

The bottom line for me -- bring your infants or kids but also be aware and considerate of others.

[Toto2Kansas]

If I am reading the OP's question correctly, they are not talking about children in general, but babies. Very small babies do cry, it is just what babies do 'as the OP said'. Would I like to be in the cabin next door to a baby that wakes in the night crying loudly? No, I would not. Would I like to go out on my balcony where I had to listen to a crying baby every afternoon? Definitely not.

Again, my understanding of the OP is that with passengers who bring along small babies, they never know how that baby would take the cruise or how disruptive it would be on the babies schedule, in turn, disrupting other passengers that had a cabin/balcony or table in the dining room that was close. It would effect more than just the baby but the other passengers around where they sit to relax or sleep. No matter how 'considerate' the parents are, babies can be uncontrolable at times and there just is no place I can think of on a ship to take a screaming infant that would not effect others around them.

 

Personally, we took our granddaughter on a cruise when she was 5. We made sure to take her on a cruise that she would enjoy. A ship that catered to children, the Big Red Boat. We all had a great time with all of the kids onboard, as expected.

[elmtree]

I have 5 children (the last two were twins) and I would never, ever have vacationed with them anywhere that was not child friendly..or directed toward their ages...and I don't think a cruise fits that bill, unless it is a Disney one..So, that said, take your baby if you want to...But not me...They are all grown, so I just have to "baby" my husband now...LOl

[Crowsie]

We would never consider bringing our children with us on the cruises we've taken.

They've been longer in duration with excrutiating flights.

These vacations have been for me and DH to get back to being a couple.

 

The kids stay home with grandma and grandpa (who fly in from out of state to stay with them). We leave in two weeks...and for the last month all my kids can talk about is "how soon are you leaving so we can be with grandma and grandpa?"

We chuckle that they can't wait to get rid of us..but it really is a win/win situation..we get time together..the kids/grandparents get quality time together.

 

We do take the kids on RV trips and up to northern MN every weekend in the summer..and most in the the winter for snowmobiling...so we get our "family vacation time" too.

 

We do plan on taking the kids on an Alaska cruise/tour..but we're waiting until they are at least pre-teens. It's an expensive trip and we do want them to be able to enjoy and remember it. Our kids love the outdoors and wildlife..so this cruise would be much more enjoyable for them than a Caribbean cruise.

 

But...that's what works for OUR family.

 

Personally...I would never take an infant...I think it's no fun for the infant to be out of their element and it's no fun for the parents, either...but again..that's just ME!

 

I would never judge what might be right for someone else's family.

[roe2ship]

Looks like someone is trying to stir the pot here. OP has 1 post to his/her credit!

Ditto! Who knows, maybe OP is also Tomcruiseline who started the "new staff to child ratios" thread to get some excitement in his/her boring life.

[stoneharborlady]

No, I dont think it selfish. I would not be thrilled to wake up to an infant crying in the night, but like most Moms I have been there. I think I would just be thrilled that it was not me that had to get up with the baby. Parent with babies have every right to be on board if its not an adults only cruise. Fair is fair.

[SueW]

I have 5 children ranging in age from 30 down to 6. During my first marriage and the 1st group of kids (now 30,28,23), X-HUSBAND and I gave everything to the little darlings. Family vacations to Ocean City, etc. We could not afford a cruise at that time. With all that said, and the point I am making, I believe my first marriage dissolved because we did NOT take couple vacations. We gave all to the kids and had nothing left for ourselves.

 

Second marriage and 2 girls ages 6 & 8. We go cruising once or twice a year, and leave them with their big sister's. It's a great break for them as well as us. Do I feel guilty? Not in the least. Hubby and I reconnect and relax from day to day stresses mostly from work.

 

We just returned from the Star Princess and there were a few children on board. By the end of the week the kids were still happy and having a blast, but Mom & Dad looked exhausted and NOT very rested at all. Guess that's the price they paid for having their kids with them.

 

I look forward to the break, as do my girls.

 

Just my opinion.

[Kaylas Mom]

On our last cruise in Hawaii, my "neighbor" woke up every morning at 6 am and sat on her balcony, talking in a very loud voice (actually at the top of her lungs) on her cellphone to a family member back home. My favorite part was that she always screamed "I'm sitting out here on the balcony so that I don't disturb my husband who is inside sleeping!!!" AFter two nights, we gave up our beloved habit of leaving the door open to hear the waves, but she still woke us up.

 

Funnily enough, it was my small daughter who said, "Gee adults can be so rude with those silly phones...."

 

LOL!

[nsimeri]

Kayla -

If my neighbor does that one time she'll find me pounding on her door at 3am the next morning!! Just remember that you're not at home so have some respect for your fellow passengers. I like gramma's advice. When can you babysit for my kids?;)

[LARGIN]

On our last cruise in Hawaii, my "neighbor" woke up every morning at 6 am and sat on her balcony, talking in a very loud voice (actually at the top of her lungs) on her cellphone to a family member back home. My favorite part was that she always screamed "I'm sitting out here on the balcony so that I don't disturb my husband who is inside sleeping!!!" AFter two nights, we gave up our beloved habit of leaving the door open to hear the waves, but she still woke us up.

 

Funnily enough, it was my small daughter who said, "Gee adults can be so rude with those silly phones...."

 

LOL!

 

Ever think of poking your head around the partition and telling her to keep her voice down... I would have. And if that didn't work, at 6am, while she was on her balcony talking loudly, I would be pounding at her door waking her sleeping hubby.. :D

[kryos]

On our last cruise in Hawaii, my "neighbor" woke up every morning at 6 am and sat on her balcony, talking in a very loud voice (actually at the top of her lungs) on her cellphone to a family member back home.

Now that's what I would ban on cruises. Those damned cell phones! Thank God they don't work in the middle of the ocean, so they've not yet been a bother to me. But, I can't get over how people can't bear to be separated from their cell phones. You'll see them using them constantly ... in stores, on the bus, in the car ... you name it.

 

I carry a cell phone, but I do so only for work. When I'm out, the last thing I want is to get a call. Since very few people have the number, generally I only get those calls that are very important, and they tend to be short. When I go on a cruise, I bring the cell phone merely to call home and let my family know I've arrived safely on the boat. Then it gets dumped into the safe where it stays until I disembark. Why bother going on a cruise if you're gonna spend all your time on the phone with family and friends back home. Hell, just stay home and be with them if it's so important to you.

 

Give me babies and infants on a cruise anyday, but don't subject me to those people who have a cell phone seemingly embedded into their ear. :(

 

Talk about rude and inconsiderate. :(

 

Blue skies ...

 

--rita

[critterchick]

As one with only four-legged children, I would rather hear an infant crying than feel the bed in the next cabin thumping against the wall (have had both). :D

 

We were on Vision a couple of years ago, and one family with an infant insisted on walking him or her up & down the corridor whenever he/she was squalling. Fortunately, their cabin was not near ours, but they were near the C&A Loyalty Ambassador, and she was ready to throw the father overboard - "thanks for sharing," was her nicest comment.

[Cruisin' Chick]

We didn't take our daughter on a vacation until she was almost two, mainly because my hubby couldn't take off time (complicated story there) and he was apprehensive about taking the girl. But that first time was great. Went on a weekend Baja cruise and then drove down to San Diego for a few more days. She was just starting potty training then. Hadn't started the night terrors (she had one a year later while we were in Key West but because we were there during college spring break, her screaming didn't seem to disturb anyone).

More parents should be follow what cruselovr says: if your kid cries, take them for a walk away from people. We did that in restaurants, movie theaters...you just have to be considerate of others.

I agree fully with you, Rita. I only bought a cell phone right before our last trip, just in case we had an emergency (plus my father-in-law was going down hill so we had to leave a number for mother-in-law to get in touch). I keep the phone in purse, turned off usually and even when turned on, it's on vibrate mode. I don't gab in the car (I wish driving while on phone would be illegal), in the store, while walking (we call those people "phone zombies").

 

By the way, never heard a child in the next cabin on any ship. But a couple of cruises ago, our neighbors were quite a bit vocal while...well, you know.