breastfeeding onboard

[SummerW]

This may be a touchy subject. I was just reading an old thread about the "grossest things" members had seen when cruising. Breastfeeding in public came up several times, and there were some strong opinions. :rolleyes:

 

My son will have just turned 6 months old when we depart in a couple of weeks. We have deliberately held off on introducing solids to keep things simple when we travel. This is a decision we made with our pediatrician. My son nurses every 2-3 hours, on demand (meaning not scheduled but as needed). On-demand feeding is the preferred method and was recommended to us by our lactation consultants.

 

So here's the rub... This will likely mean I my son will (gasp) be nursing in the main dining room at our table, which will include members of our family only. It troubles me that I may make others feel uncomfortable by doing this. It also frustrates me a bit that others would feel this way, but I don't have much control over that.

 

I will probably bring along and use an "udder cover"/"hooter hider" device to cover up, just to cut down on the distractions for him so he eats a little better. But he may try to push it aside or fuss if I use it, because it can sometimes get hot -- or he can sometimes get squirmy and fidgety (now that he's a big boy who has learned he can manipulate things around him ;) ). So the cover may not work.

 

He has just started to use a sippy cup, so we may try to bring that along, if I can find time to keep up a stash of expressed milk for him (with the traveling, activities and time spent accommodating our extended family this could prove to be difficult; it's hard enough doing it when our routine is consistent at home). But repeatedly not nursing him during one of his feedings for a week could affect my supply a bit, unless I pump before or immediately after dinner. At 5.5 months old my son is currently 23 lbs and off the growth charts. He wears 18 month clothes now. His appetite and needs are also off the charts, and so I have to be careful and work hard to ensure my supply stays high enough to meet his requirements.

 

I'd be interested to know what others have done WRT feeding their babies in public on board the ship. Did you find that doing so causes any disharmony between you and fellow shipmates? I don't want to be someone others mumble about as we pass each other in the hallway.

 

I'm discreet, whether using a cover or not. I wear nursing tops that have fancy panels and slits and slots to enable easy breastfeeding, so it's not like I'll be flashing the whole ship or even some of it.

 

Some may suggest going to our room to feed the baby when he needs to nurse, but, while I do want to get along with everyone, I also feel that I shouldn't have to go and isolate myself when my baby eats, just to placate people of another generation who aren't familiar with today's best practices.

 

I'd be most grateful for any thoughts, ideas, opinions, experiences and suggestions you have.

 

thanks!

[room010]

There's absolutely nothing wrong with breastfeeding BUT doing it in a busy public dining room with other people around you, many of whom will almost certainly be uncomfortable with it no matter how discreet you are, is another matter.

 

On demand works both ways - if you can feed your son before you go in to dine and let him "sleep it off" while you enjoy your meal that's a good compromise. If he wakes up and needs topping up then for your own and other people's sensibilities you should be prepared to do so in a quiet corner or even back in your cabin.

 

I'm afraid you aren't going to change anyone's mind about this issue by taking a stand. In fact you will probably antagonise the "anti" brigade even further. Welcome to motherhood!

[GHarkness]

I was totally with you until you got to the "another generation" comment. I am a grandmother and fully, totally, and completely support anyone's right to breastfeed anywhere they happen to be. Please don't put us oldsters all in the same "bucket."

 

Frankly, I think breastfeeding mothers need all the encouragement you can get, because (as a former nursing mother and La Leche League leader who never could quite get it all together to nurse in public) it can be tough out there! It says a lot about our culture that feeding our own babies can cause such controversy.

 

When I notice someone breastfeeding in public, I make it a point not to stare, but make sure I have a smile and pleasant expression on my face if I happen to catch the mother's eye. And if I were of the age now, to be breastfeeding in public, I'd just do it, and let the chips fall where they might.

 

Good luck to you! :)

[lisiamc]

I don't have children, but have no problem with nursing mothers, in the dining room or other public rooms. I usually don't even notice the discreet ones. And where better for anyone - baby or adult - to eat than the dining room?

 

In my opinion, if it's a room where people are eating or allowed to eat, then it's perfectly OK for breastfeeding too.

[aelittleb]

i am a breastfeeding mama and would proudly nurse my baby in public and have many times. and i love seeing other mamas do it! the one piece of advice i can give (other than all of you ideas already) would be to try wearing your baby in a wrap or ring sling and nursing while wearing him. this is actually a bit easier because the wrap is holding your baby so you have your hands and arms free and it can also cover up anything necessary. if you have no clue what i mean when i say wrap or ring sling i can give you more info via email. and even if you werent nursing i would highly recommened having a wrap or ring sling or other good carrier for the trip. i promise it will make so many things so much easier!!!!

[RoadTripFanatic]

There's absolutely nothing wrong with breastfeeding BUT doing it in a busy public dining room with other people around you, many of whom will almost certainly be uncomfortable with it no matter how discreet you are, is another matter.

I agree with this. The dinning rooms is very busy. Plus your son is probably going to be very distracted in this room. I know my DD would go nuts nursing in that environment. She had to see what is going on around her. Also you have to remember there are all age groups in this room. I'd be uncomfortable nursing in this environment.

On demand works both ways - if you can feed your son before you go in to dine and let him "sleep it off" while you enjoy your meal that's a good compromise. If he wakes up and needs topping up then for your own and other people's sensibilities you should be prepared to do so in a quiet corner or even back in your cabin.

I had the same thought. I would try to nurse him before dinner. Tweak the demand feedings so that you can nurse him just before dinner.

I'm afraid you aren't going to change anyone's mind about this issue by taking a stand. In fact you will probably antagonise the "anti" brigade even further. Welcome to motherhood!

I honestly have no problems with mom's nursing poolside as long as they are discreet. (a two year old walking up to their mom and pulling up mom's top is just wrong!-Yes, I have seen it!) I nursed DD for a year and understand sometimes it's just not the right opportunity. I was ok nursing in public if there was no other option. I am a very private person. I'd prefer the peace and quiet of my cabin or a quiet corner vs the loud pool side or dinning room venture.

ETA: Also I like the idea of bringing the sippy cup or a bottle. Bring a hand held pump to pump just before you go to dinner if he refuses to nurse. You could hand him the cup/ bottle at dinner time and have no worries. :)

[aelittleb]

i agree with the pps about ds being way too distraced to nurse. he was a big fan of looking around at everything!!! so i would def try to nurse before dinner and bring a sippy/bottle if necessary.

[sandytoes03]

Go ahead an nurse your baby. Do what makes you and him feel comfortable. Pump if you want for dinner, that might be more comfortbale for you, but if you don't get a chance, don't worry. There's nothing you can do to change others minds, just do what you think is right. Honestly, a bet many people won't even notice.

[Rob&Bonnie]

"I also feel that I shouldn't have to go and isolate myself when my baby eats, just to placate people of another generation who aren't familiar with today's best practices."

 

Wow, nice to know that I'm such a trendsetter! Here I am a grandmother and I was in tune with 'today's best practices' back in the day when my son was an infant!:rolleyes:

 

Yes, I was a nursing mother, and there were times that I nursed in public. When the child is hungry, the child is hungry. I did try to plan a bit, feeding him before we went out, bringing a sippy cup or juice, etc, because there are those that are not comfortable when a child is nursing.

 

Most nursing mothers reveal less than the bathing suits around the pool.

[kitty9]

My only problem is a lack of discretion. On one cruise, at a table next to ours, a VERY well endowed woman would nurse at the table without making any effort to cover anything, and while the child was nursing on one, the other was half exposed (I have no idea why she didn't wear a nursing bra, but she didn't). Now, ladies, lets be perfectly honest here. Unlike other cultures, American men don't view the female breasts as other men do. To them, it's sexual and not something for nourishing a child. When the well endowed woman pulled hers out, you would not believe the men in the area---tongues hanging out and eyes bugged. it was pretty sad and pathetic on the men's part.

[NewSalt]

First, congratulations on nursing so successfully! Twenty-three pounds! It sounds like your DS is thriving.

 

Another grandmother who nursed more than thirty years ago, as did several of my friends. I've read lots of anti-nursing-in-public diatribes on other boards, and have found that younger people are often much more disturbed by it than people from my generation. I don't know if it's because our ideas have become so sexualized that we can't be comfortable with our body and its functions, but one young man equated mother's milk with urine. I hope he never decides to reproduce.

 

If you'll be sharing a table with your family members, perhaps you can have a table toward the wall, where you can face away from the majority of diners; chances are, no one will even know that DS is having dinner too.

 

You're a mother - everything you do will be objectionable to someone. I'm sure you found that once your pregnancy became apparent, the world felt free to comment on you, your appearance, your actions. It's impossible to avoid offending everyone, and you are doing what is best for your baby. Other people's hang-ups are their own responsibility. You may find, as PPs have said, that a quieter area is more conducive to successful nursing, but if not, be as discreet as you can and let the cranky-pants revel in being grumpy.

[GHarkness]

Now, ladies, lets be perfectly honest here. Unlike other cultures, American men don't view the female breasts as other men do. To them, it's sexual and not something for nourishing a child. When the well endowed woman pulled hers out, you would not believe the men in the area---tongues hanging out and eyes bugged. it was pretty sad and pathetic on the men's part.

 

Looks to me like the men need to be educated then (not only on the actual function of the breast, but on their manners). I would bet that many women show nearly as much (at least as the "other" breast was showing) without the associated "excuse" of breastfeeding.

 

I have no problem acknowledging that breasts are enticing to men....and that's fine, but they really need to learn a bit of self-control.

[uppitycats]

I'm not a parent, and one of those "of another generation" of which you speak. That said, I don't have a problem at all with a mother breastfeeding her child with a certain level of discretion. It sounds like you're prepared to do that. Some slight cover up -- a lacy shawl is good,

 

as opposed to what I've seen by some folks of "your generation" -- simply flopping your breast "out there", grabbing the kid and letting him suck on, with no regard for anyone else.

 

Sounds like you're not that way..that you do understand that some folks might be, if not offended, at least a bit surprised. And besides, you'll be at a table with your own family who are used to your practices. I say, feed the baby when you want to, how you want to, and if that's at the dining table, then so be it.

 

But you still will have people at other tables making comments under their breathe, and maybe rudely to you. Just ignore them, smile sweetly, and go about your business.

[goldne]

There's nothing wrong with nursing an infant....there IS with nursing children who are talking in sentences! The dining room is chilly so he probably won't be hot with a cover on.

 

I disagree with you. I nursed my kids for 18 months and they were definitely speaking in sentences by then! The World Health Organization recommends that babies be nursed until the age of 2.

 

To the OP - go ahead and nurse your baby in the dining room! And I don't think you need some kind of cover...to me, that always screamed "Hey, I'm nursing under here!". Simply being discreet as you are used to doing is just fine. Have a wonderful vacation. :)

[exj132]

I'm not even going to read all the replies on this one. I'm just going to add my two cents...nurse when you want to nurse, when your son is ready to nurse and where you want to nurse him. Not feeding him is cruel and the equivalent of making someone starve. That is just silly...all to placate the uneducated...ridiculous. :eek:

 

Congratulations on being able to provide your child with all the nourishment he needs. Just ignore anyone that feels the need to stare or comment. It's none of their business anyway.

[Derby]

I will definitely be nursing my 6 month old in public when we go on the Dream in November. I will also be using a Hooter Hider. There is no way I will run back to the cabin every time he or she needs to eat. However, I nursed my DD until she was 2 1/2 and I would not have been comfortable nursing her in public past 1ish.. plus nursing is so different when you are nursing a toddler compared to an infant and it is for different needs. If people are discreet, I don't care how old the kid is.

[SummerW]

I was totally with you until you got to the "another generation" comment. I am a grandmother and fully, totally, and completely support anyone's right to breastfeed anywhere they happen to be. Please don't put us oldsters all in the same "bucket."

 

Ah, sorry to put you off by that. What I meant to say by that is that folks my parents age and older typically formula fed their babies, as that was what doctors recommended to them at that time. So they're not as used to seeing someone breastfeed as people my age might be.

 

Thanks for the encouragement. This is generally how I end up approaching things.

 

And thanks for your work with LLL! They're a great group! I needed a lot of help early on, as my son received formula from a bottle while in the NICU, and everything took longer to get going following my cesarean delivery.

[GHarkness]

I needed a lot of help early on, as my son received formula from a bottle while in the NICU, and everything took longer to get going following my cesarean delivery.

 

Yes, sometimes the hurdles can be difficult, but once overcome, definitely worth all the work!

 

Congrats and never listen to the Nay-Sayers. :)

[SummerW]

There's absolutely nothing wrong with breastfeeding BUT doing it in a busy public dining room with other people around you, many of whom will almost certainly be uncomfortable with it no matter how discreet you are, is another matter.

 

I'm pretty used to feeding him in restaurants, and these days that's an accepted practice, even if not everyone is used to seeing it. Some people will probably be put off by us bringing a baby in the first place. Everyone has different levels of tolerance and notions of what's acceptable. The trick, I think, comes in when what is generally acceptable and manageable to a group does not line up with today's norms for our culture/society in general. Given that I expect there to be a lot of folks who are of an era where formula feeding was almost exclusively the norm, I'm thinking this might be one of those tricky scenarios.

 

On demand works both ways - if you can feed your son before you go in to dine and let him "sleep it off" while you enjoy your meal that's a good compromise. If he wakes up and needs topping up then for your own and other people's sensibilities you should be prepared to do so in a quiet corner or even back in your cabin.

 

He has long since outgrown sleeping it off, I'm afraid. :) He hasn't done that since he was a newborn.

 

Welcome to motherhood!

 

:)

[cruiserNC]

I don't think it is cool but when I do see this happening I am guilty of a double take. When I was a teen I would have stared.

"To Each their own"

[SummerW]

i am a breastfeeding mama and would proudly nurse my baby in public and have many times. and i love seeing other mamas do it! the one piece of advice i can give (other than all of you ideas already) would be to try wearing your baby in a wrap or ring sling and nursing while wearing him. this is actually a bit easier because the wrap is holding your baby so you have your hands and arms free and it can also cover up anything necessary. if you have no clue what i mean when i say wrap or ring sling i can give you more info via email. and even if you werent nursing i would highly recommened having a wrap or ring sling or other good carrier for the trip. i promise it will make so many things so much easier!!!!

 

Thank you! I have a ring sling, a Baby K'Tan and an Ergo. It's a little tough to do, though, with such a big guy. But that's getting better as he has gotten older and can support himself and maneuver better. We'll work on it some between now and the trip. :)

[cb at sea]

Nursing is the best and easiest way to feed your child....you can be "discreet"...few will even KNOW you're nursing! Sure beats lugging bottles and formula around everywhere!

[Julitta]

You're a mother - everything you do will be objectionable to someone. I'm sure you found that once your pregnancy became apparent, the world felt free to comment on you, your appearance, your actions. It's impossible to avoid offending everyone, and you are doing what is best for your baby. Other people's hang-ups are their own responsibility. You may find, as PPs have said, that a quieter area is more conducive to successful nursing, but if not, be as discreet as you can and let the cranky-pants revel in being grumpy.

 

Nicely put. The same people will be tut-tutting when you cruise with a toddler who merrily stuffs pancakes into a cup of milk. Screw em.

 

I hope the tut-tutters don't get off the ship in any Caribbean islands - we saw many locals breastfeeding babies and toddlers with no capes, shawls or disguises.

 

On another note, we recently sailed on Carnival and they seem to put families with small children around the periphery of the dining rooms. We had a table that was pretty much in a corner out of view of the dining room. I could have nursed triplets and nobody would have noticed. (not currently nursing and have no triplets, but whatever.)

[victoriasmommy]

I personally see alot more "boob" on the pool deck then I do when a nursing mother feeds her child. The important bits of the breast will be covered while the baby is nursing so the only was someone will see "too much" is if they are staring or happen to look at the exact moment your dear little one latches/unlatches.

 

if the dining room noise distracts you LO he will use the sippy.

if he's really hungry/needs the comfort of the breast, no rude ppl staring will bother him while he is having his dinner!

 

Way to go for making it to the 6 month mark!

[mjkacmom]

I live close to a major metropolitan area, have seen countless women nursing in public, especially at restaurants, and wouldn't think twice about it, nor have I ever seen anyone raise an eye. My babies were formula fed, but nursing moms, please feel free to nurse your baby wherever you like. Maybe it's regional, but I can't even imagine, in this day and age, this is even questioned.