Have to cancel son's reservation b/o sports!

[waldocruiser1]

I think the issue here is one of commitment - if the kid made a commitment to the team, that's it. Yes, family is important - and one of the things it's important for is to teach kids about things like commitment, and the idea that doing one thing means you just can't do other things.

 

I can also say that I was once a 9th grade boy in HS, and I reesnted it mightily when my parents meddled with school activities which I felt I had already made a commitment (there's that word again) to do.

 

I agree with those who say that this boy is old enough to make this decision - he was the one (I assume) who decided to go out for baseball, suggests to me that it's very important to him.

 

And yes, this is a really interesting thread - a real learning moment here, and may I say that applies to both kids AND parents who may find themselves in this position.

 

So what you are saying is if the kid makes a commitment to the team, and the coach says to be on the team you must be in bed by 9pm, no mater what. and the kid is not done with homework, after practice, when 9pm comes he stops doing the homework, and goes to bed, after all he made the commitment to the team.

 

What about the commitment the parents made to the kid when they booked the cruise and promised to take them on a great vacation?

 

What about the commitment the parents made to Carnival to bring their son on the cruise?

[MissDiva1]

Absolutely agree with SuiteTraveler. In addition, many people book their cruises or vacations months it years ahead. What kind of message does it send to a 14 yr old to agree to blow an entire family vacation for a few practices and a one baseball game? Money grows on trees and baseball is more important than family? Just what America needs...more spoiled kids! I understand commitment, striving for excellence and the nature of competitive sports. I also understand the value of money, family time and doing things/compromising for the greater good....not just one person's good.

 

The notion that a kid who misses some baseball practice for family vacation is going to grow up to call in sick and make excuses not to go to work is BS. If YOU have done YOUR job as a parent, your kid won't grow up to be that way. I'm not relying on my kids' coach (or Sensei in our case) to teach my kids responsibility, dedication and work ethic. Thats the parents' job. And the kid isn't calling in sick. He is on vacation, just like I will be next week. It's a necessary part of grown up life.

 

I would be calling the coach and explain that we booked our trip long before try outs and odur family will be gone. Like I said before, " to each their own" and the OPs solution us a happy medium for them. I'm glad the rest of the family won't be punished but if it were

MY DS, he'd be with me. My focus is on academics in school. Not sports. And loving and spending time with family trumps any other "responsiblilty'.

 

If vacation is more important then you don't commit. Easy. Otherwise get informed so you can plan around the season.

[waldocruiser1]

Some times coaches can be bullies.

 

When my son was in hs he played music in a youth symphony and played football, and in the fall they over lapped, the assistant coach and my son had it worked out the days he had to go to symphony practice and not, but one day the head coach was in a bad mood, and interfered and told my son that "you need to decide which is more important, FOOTBALL, or music?" My son was a starter at football, not great, played defense most of the time, on the line, but still started, mostly because he was BIG/TALL. when the coach said it, he took off his helmet, looked the coach in the eye and said "do you REALLY want me to decide? Because I will, if you want?" He stepped around the coach and left for the symphony practice.

 

Music is my sons life, it took him to college, and is now going to be a music teacher.

 

He continued to play football, never had another problem with the coach, and the team won state for the third straight year (GO LIMON COLORADO, BADGERS)

 

The point here is sometimes the coach is looking for the kid to make a decision, of what is important. If you son stands up for himself, and TELLS the coach he is going on vacation, AND will be back to support the team, there is a good chance the coach will respect the action.

[CruiserinCarlsbad]

I think that all parents and everyone else needs to make decisions based on their own values. If the most important thing is to go on family vacation during the school year (spring break or not) then go and feel good about the fact that you chose to go. But don't expect the coach to make any concessions for you because you chose to vacation during the school year. Asking for special favors for your child because you want to go on vacation and you want him or her to be excused from the rules other members of their team choose to follow isn't right. You made the choice, so abide by the consequences. Family vacations are important, but you choose when to schedule them and it's up to you to decide if that's the right thing for your family. If it is, then why do you care what the coach has to say?

[ancfun]

To the OP- We feel your pain. Our oldest son plays year round sports and now that he is in high school he doesn't get to do many "family vacations". Times have changed since we were in school. I don't agree with the kids being punished or cut from teams because they do family vacations but the coaches have to make these rules for a reason. There is only 1 week in GA where we can plan vacation time that includes the whole family. The high school sports association mandates that week to be a "dead" week where no teams can practice or play. This is done to allow kids to vacation and not be punished.

[jetsfan]

Thank you.

[Warm Breezes]

Some of you are so willing to crucify the coach for sticking to the rules. There are reasons for the rules and even if we don't agree with them, if we have kids involved in HS sports we need to abide by them or not let our kids play. It's still the parent's choice, but let's look at some facts:

 

1. High School sports are played during breaks. Football and Soccer start in August during the Summer Break, Basketball goes through Thanksgiving, Christmas and Mid-Winter Breaks, and Baseball goes through Spring Break.

 

2. High School sports are competitive both individually and as a team. Teens compete with each other to make the team and once they make it they need to compete for their starting positions. The rules have changed...its no longer everyone gets to play.

 

Coaches need to build teams with kids that are commited to going to all practices and games. If they can't commit there are other kids out there who are willing to take that kids place. If you or your child can't commit to the team's schedule then the coach needs to make the decision to let someone who can commit play so he can build a cohesive team.

 

As a parent you still make the decision of when to plan your family vacation. But if you are a parent of a child who is participating in sports, then you need to take that team's schedule into account if your child wants to play. If you can't commit to that schedule then your child needs to face the consequences of that decision whether it means getting cut or being benched for a few games. It's not fair to the child who got cut so your child could play, if your child can't commit to the schedule and they could have. It's not fair to the rest of the team who come to the practices and games, if your child can't commit to the schedule and they have to play without a key player (or multiple key players if more than one person is gone) and lose because the core of their team is gone. These are the reasons why those rules are in place. It is about commitment to the team and if you can't commit then face the consequences or don't play and let someone else who can commit play.

 

No one is telling people that they can't plan their vacations when they want to....but everyone has to make sacrifices. That's life. If you want to plan your vacation during a sports season then your child maybe sacrificing playing that sport. If your child wants to play a sport then you may be sacrificing family vacations during that sport's season. It's still your choice. Do you want them to participate in that sport or go on a family vacation? The coach doesn't get to decide that for you. But he does get to decide who plays on his team and he's going to choose the kids that are at the practices and the games and are committed to his team. That's his job.

[halos]

Why are these schools having school sponsored activities during spring break? It is supposed to be a break!

 

School sports are never on break. Unfortunately, that's the way it is.

All I know is I am so happy that my girls are now grown. I don't miss this crap for one minute.

OP, you have my sympathy. I have no idea what I'd do in your shoes.

[michelle1836]

so what did the OP decide? I know how important sports/Civil Air Patrol are for my boys and they would probably pick those over the cruise.

[tef43]

How is this any different from football practice or marching band rehearsals/practice which begin prior to the fall semester (technically still "summer vacation")? :confused:

 

Sorry, I'm with the coach on this one.

[wr1]

Sports in school is a commitment. Your son got to take a spot on the team roster when another kid who wanted that spot. Is that fair to the kid who did not get selected who would have been at the practice or games. Put yourself in the coaches shoes.

 

We have to plan our vacations around two kids baseball and basketball schedules. It leaves about 3 weeks in the summer and the a few days during Christmas break.

[Friend100]

so what did the OP decide? I know how important sports/Civil Air Patrol are for my boys and they would probably pick those over the cruise.

 

They decided the below ... on page 2. Very high EQ.

 

I understand I'm the parent and need to make important decisions on behalf of my 14 year old, i also feel like responsibility plays a part here. he joined up to be part of a team and his team is relying on him (to a degree, he's no the all start of the team by any means). i take the brunt of the responsibility here because i guess i should have checked the "rules" prior to booking during the break, i know during football season with my older son he goes nowhere except to practice starting in August...so...hard lesson learned, thank goodness by sil will be staying with him for the week while we cruise!

[KCMiller]

I'm glad someone mentioned marching band - time and commitmentwise, it's the same thing, really, as sports. We spent 9 years, between the time my oldest went to band camp before his freshman year and the last parade my youngest marched in, not being able to take family vacations or do much of anything but band stuff for at least 4 months out of each year. That was OK with us - yeah, it meant that we had to miss out on some things, but it also taught our kids the values of commitment, teamwork and sacrifice.

 

Now we're having problems scheduling a family cruise because of their work and college schedules. Sigh! But good problems to have, right?

 

KC

[Warm Breezes]

I'm glad someone mentioned marching band - time and commitmentwise, it's the same thing, really, as sports. We spent 9 years, between the time my oldest went to band camp before his freshman year and the last parade my youngest marched in, not being able to take family vacations or do much of anything but band stuff for at least 4 months out of each year. That was OK with us - yeah, it meant that we had to miss out on some things, but it also taught our kids the values of commitment, teamwork and sacrifice.

 

Now we're having problems scheduling a family cruise because of their work and college schedules. Sigh! But good problems to have, right?

 

KC

I agree. I would rather have to struggle and juggle schedules to find a time to fit a cruise in because everyone is busy with healthy constructive activities rather than to not have to worry about timing because they're not doing anything at all.

[Crusin6]

I'm glad someone mentioned marching band - time and commitmentwise, it's the same thing, really, as sports. We spent 9 years, between the time my oldest went to band camp before his freshman year and the last parade my youngest marched in, not being able to take family vacations or do much of anything but band stuff for at least 4 months out of each year. That was OK with us - yeah, it meant that we had to miss out on some things, but it also taught our kids the values of commitment, teamwork and sacrifice.

 

Now we're having problems scheduling a family cruise because of their work and college schedules. Sigh! But good problems to have, right?

 

KC

I have kids aged 10 to 20..in all levels of education..and I tell all parents who are interested...do everything you can whenever you can...never say they are too young for a cruise or Disneyworld or to fly...do it when you want to...when you can...and do it as often as you can...because the day will come quite fast when you realize that the oldest will not be joining you due to school committments and opportunities...and the next one needs to be on campus earlier than expected....the the youngest would like to attend a certain camp before they age out of it..and it is only offerred one week....the list goes on and on......and notice I didn't even mention sports teams...because there are lots of things that get in the way of family trips...even simple day trips.....

 

so very simply...do not wait to do anything you want with the kids...do it now...and then do it again when the timing works out....then do it a third time...oh and most definitely be aware of every schedule there is regarding the kids....I check out dates 2 years in advance..because if you know that let's say a particular Band concert is usually the third week in March..you can be fairly certain that it will again be around the third week in March next year. One must be a planner when raising kids...at least to avoid surprises that is.

 

 

cruises...disneyworld....and day trips come to mind.:)

[MissDiva1]

I'm glad someone mentioned marching band - time and commitmentwise, it's the same thing, really, as sports. We spent 9 years, between the time my oldest went to band camp before his freshman year and the last parade my youngest marched in, not being able to take family vacations or do much of anything but band stuff for at least 4 months out of each year. That was OK with us - yeah, it meant that we had to miss out on some things, but it also taught our kids the values of commitment, teamwork and sacrifice.

 

Now we're having problems scheduling a family cruise because of their work and college schedules. Sigh! But good problems to have, right?

 

KC

 

Absolutely!

[Friend100]

I have kids aged 10 to 20..in all levels of education..and I tell all parents who are interested...do everything you can whenever you can...never say they are too young for a cruise or Disneyworld or to fly...do it when you want to...when you can...and do it as often as you can...because the day will come quite fast when you realize that the oldest will not be joining you due to school committments and opportunities...and the next one needs to be on campus earlier than expected....the the youngest would like to attend a certain camp before they age out of it..and it is only offerred one week....the list goes on and on......and notice I didn't even mention sports teams...because there are lots of things that get in the way of family trips...even simple day trips.....

 

so very simply...do not wait to do anything you want with the kids...do it now...and then do it again when the timing works out....then do it a third time...oh and most definitely be aware of every schedule there is regarding the kids....I check out dates 2 years in advance..because if you know that let's say a particular Band concert is usually the third week in March..you can be fairly certain that it will again be around the third week in March next year. One must be a planner when raising kids...at least to avoid surprises that is.

 

 

cruises...disneyworld....and day trips come to mind.:)

 

Thanks. I am your audience. :)

[neo-cruiser]

:mad: My son is a freshman in HS and happily made the baseball team only to find out he would be CUT if he cruised with us during spring break next week. He would miss 3 games and practice daily...so unfair! plus I did not purchase insurance so lost $$!!

 

 

Ever consider maybe making sure your son "practices" during the cruise. Promise the coach he'll run X miles, and maybe you sign a "log" making sure he does it (or even if you lie and say he will, whatever your perogative might be) maybe the the coach will stop being an **s and let this kid go on an vacaion with his family. Like a PP said if this is the sport that will help him go to college (whether he plays professionally in the future or not) then i would try to work something out. If not then forget the coach and take you DS on the cruise

[MissDiva1]

Ever consider maybe making sure your son "practices" during the cruise. Promise the coach he'll run X miles, and maybe you sign a "log" making sure he does it (or even if you lie and say he will, whatever your perogative might be) maybe the the coach will stop being an **s and let this kid go on an vacaion with his family. Like a PP said if this is the sport that will help him go to college (whether he plays professionally in the future or not) then i would try to work something out. If not then forget the coach and take you DS on the cruise

 

Mom already made the responsible decision.........son is staying home to commit.

[neo-cruiser]

Mom already made the responsible decision.........son is staying home to commit.

 

 

Thanks...too many posts to read. (I stop keeping up with it for like a day and Ii couldnt catch back up lol). I have been a swimer my whole life. When I would go out of town, I Had to go to the local pool and have the person in charge sign a log that i swam for X amount of hours, and I made sure I did, that was the compramise my coach came up with, thought it might work for OP situation as well. (wasn't at all trying to suggest the mom lie, I just didn't know what kind of "sports parent" the OP was :))

[CruiseAdict218]

Why is there games during Spring Break, thts the time to have a break from school whether its on vacation or at home, they should not have games or pracice during tht week, one week of the coachs not having anything planned would be the end of the world, for the future they should change it

[MissDiva1]

Why is there games during Spring Break, thts the time to have a break from school whether its on vacation or at home, they should not have games or pracice during tht week, one week of the coachs not having anything planned would be the end of the world, for the future they should change it

 

That is how school sports programs work. Nothing new. Even waaaay back when I played:o

[CruiseAdict218]

Thts interesting is it all over or just in your specific area?, I never knew schools did this, wonder if our school does this in our area hmmm

[neo-cruiser]

Thts interesting is it all over or just in your specific area?, I never knew schools did this, wonder if our school does this in our area hmmm

 

 

I went to school in Ssouth Florida and that was the case for sports down there. Also alot of kids do multiple sports so they are usually doin SOMETHING, all the time year-round. That was the case for me. I swam for the school during the school year that included 5 days a week practice, year-round. And I swam for the county during the summer break. We would have regular school v. school meets during the week, and invitationals during the weekend. Sports are a full-time commitment, at least for me it was:)

[pe4all]

Thts interesting is it all over or just in your specific area?, I never knew schools did this, wonder if our school does this in our area hmmm

It is done in all high schools all over Long Island!