ATTENTION: Anyone who travels without their young kids...

[2specialkidsforme]

What my husband and I have done both times we have gone away is I create a treasure chest for them. If we are gone 7 days we put in 7 presents for each - wrapped - and they get to pick out one a day. They love it. I do a range of things - our daughter is 11 and son is 9 1/2. Some days it is simple - special pencil set, little toys they like. Some days for my 11 year old I will wrap an outfit- she might be needing something new and I save it and then leave it - she loves clothes now - and it is something I would buy anyway but make it a special treat. I have left 10.00 target cards and then grandma takes them to pick up a little something. I do think it helps them and it is a great visual of how much time till we are home. I wrapped our daughters in one type of paper and our son's in another so they know which are for which.

 

I hope you enjoy your time away. It is so hard to leave our children but I do think it is important too for them to see they are okay being taken care of by someone else and for the parents and the children sometimes a break away from each other is a good thing. We all need some time apart.

 

 

VERY IMPORTANT - if you have not done this already (and it is always on my mind because our son has cerebral palsy) - make sure that you write up a letter and sign and date it indicating your are giving so and so permission to seek medical care for your children because you are away. Also - leave the insurance cards for the children too.

[Cruisin' Cool CAT]

This is my WORST fear.

 

Mine too...we've traveled to Vegas and NYC without them and it was OK...it's just hard on me...especially the first few times...

 

The difference with cruising is the cost to stay in touch...other times Mom could pick up the phone at anytime and get me...this will be a whole other beast...I was thinking just take my iPad....get the Internet package...check it each evening for an email or something from Mom...

 

After reading these posts I don't know if i want to Skype now...confused:

 

I'm sure Skype, like spankings, will hurt ME more than them...lol

[gottogetaway2]

My husband and I vacation at least once a year for 10-14 days without our three kids.

 

We just did this same itinerary this past Nov. and I would call to check in daily while in San Juan (sometimes I would only talk to Grandma just to make sure all was well!). While on the cruise I asked my MIL to send a quick email daily which I would check while in port, if I remember right St Thomas, St Lucia and St Kitts all had free WIFI.

 

My kids have always considered the week + at grandma's and cousins houses a vacation of their own and are always content and happy when we get home. I think vacationing sans kids is important for a healthy marriage:) That being said we do a big family vacation yearly also...best of both worlds!

 

Go, have fun!

[New2cruising2011]

I agree with what you have already been told. I'm a mom of four ranging from 17-10. For most kids that age it is much easier to let them enjoy the time with grandparents and not talk to you each night/day. It tends to upset them more. I wouldn't hesitate to check in if you are feeling anxious. We called home to our older kids in January and it was cheaper to make a very fast call to check on them, then it was for an internet package to use skype.

 

Enjoy your trip!

[jdvmd]

Every parent is going to be different but we struggled with this for years. When finally traveling without the kids, we did call and send emails etc. It was the WRONG thing to do. Every call just made them miss us more. We ended up having to fly home after a few days. In retrospect, we shouldn't have had so much contact and should not have flown home.

[springs741]

My story is a little different. I have always taken my grandkids on vacation. DGS started at 3 ( he is now 9) and DGD at 18 months. Both children have done great! Neither were interested in hearing mom and dad on the phone. I don't live near them but do see them at least once a month. They know Nana and are comfortable with me. AS I see OP situation it is more about who she is leaving kids at home with rather than her being away. As long as they are comfortable with their caregiver they will feel safe and I think staying in their own home will give them additional comfort. Enjoy your cruise!

[amberdawn85]

8 nights for a first time is going to be rough. I think you might have been better off working your way up to that. I am going on a 4 night cruise in August and we starting with one overnight every couple weeks then in July we will try a 2 night stay with Grandma. If it's to much on the babies we may cancel. I'm terrified of leaving my LO's, they will be 13 months and 3 years old.

[PatyCake]

I I might suggest something that Morale Support does for many military families when Mom or Dad have to deploy. Vidio tape you and your spouse reading bedtime stories for the kids. Maybe 1 for each night you will be away. We did this when my grandson was coming to stay with MeeMa for a couple of weeks. Along with each story my daughter left small gifts to go along with each story, like a small bear or toy car etc.

[lemonade-sails]

For us, it didn't matter. Our hearts were SO heavy not having her with us, we couldn't wait to get home. SIL emailed us every day, and we had pix with us, but it didn't work.

 

When we got back to port, we raced home, and our hearts broke when she just started crying when she saw us.

 

She will be platinum next cruise.

 

 

I just have to say that I love this! :)

[powelweb]

We just sailed on Oasis 4/6 for 7 nights without our 9 yr old DD for our first couple-only cruise in 7 years.

 

She was upset when we first told her we were going- a combination of "I'm going to miss you" and " how dare you cruise without me", but before the sail date rolled around, she realized she would still be busy with school and after school activities.

 

To help with the separation, we left her my cell phone so we could reach her easily ( she was staying with several friends over the week) and we also sent a fruit basket with chocolate covered strawberries as a surprise since that is one of her favorites onboard.

 

I then sent postcards along the trip, starting at the airport as we were flying out, so that she could look forward to getting mail. It also helped to have her focused on what she wanted for souveniers from the trip (what nail polishes do you need from Del Sol?) so she felt involved in a little way and had more to look forward to with our return.

 

We did call home every other day, and she would get a little weepy when we said good by, but overall, I think it was a good experience for us all.

[akcruz]

This question comes up here every couple of months and you will get strong points of view on both sides. It really is a personal decision which depends on your comfort level with those you are leaving your kids with and your kids themselves.

 

Personally I never thought I would vacation without my kids, however an opportunity presented itself when my oldest was 9 months old. I struggled and struggled with the decision and finally went with just my husband for 4 nights. It was the best thing I could have done. From then on DH and I started doing a couples trip every couple years. We found it gave us the chance to recharge and come home better parents for our kids. Their grandparents doted on the them while we were away and they had a ball. We tried not to call home a lot as it actually did make it worse for all of us.

 

My kids are going on 23 and 18 and are very well adjusted kids who have a great relationship with us and their grandmother (unfortunately grandpa is not with us any more) They even go to spend time with her on their own. I am looking forward to the days I can be that grandma that watches the kids while their parents, my kids, travel.

[SunnydayKim]

Our son at age 2 did fine with Nana & Papa. He loved it. We did call everyday- but more just to check in. I think we only talked with him a couple of times throughout that 5 day trip.

 

When we returned home however, watch out... he was so clingy and very disruptive and really testing us. You could tell it was his way of "getting back at us" for leaving him.

 

You will miss your kids like crazy, but enjoy your time away. I am sure they are staying in the best of hands & will be just fine! Just make certain that you have a notarized letter allowing your caretaker to make any medical decisions, etc. to have all of your "what ifs" covered.

 

Kim

[flhokie]

I know that Royal Caribbean does not allow Skyping, etc. on their Internet networks (we called & checked with them).

 

I have travelled regularly for work since DD was 3 months old. DH is a stay at home dad & all of her grandparents are nearby which helps (it is still hard, but it works for us). She understands that when mommy goes away or work that I will come home soon.

 

That being said, when DH & I have left her for vacation I've gotten anxious. Both times she stayed with grandparents.

 

The first trip was a 3 day cruise. We communicated with text messages & they sent us pictures of her. The second trip was 1 week in Europe. During this trip (she was 22 months) we did FaceTime several times. DD was excited to see us at first & then just went on about her business (blowing bubbles, etc). It didn't upset her at all. I think in a way it was more for us as she probably would have been fine without doing it. We also left her a small wrapped toy to give her each day which she liked.

[notentirelynormal]

I haven't read all the responses but I'm going to add this. I babysit my grandkids all the time. My DD's kids I look after almost twice a month. I've found that if the kids know the 'timeline' it is easier for them. Saying we won't be back for 8 days they understand. Don't say, I'll be back soon. The older they get sometimes they want to say hi to their parents. A two minute conversation.

 

That said, I looked after my DS's kids, 3-1/2 and 1-1/2 month grandkids for a week. The only time they asked about their parents was when the older one who was in trouble and wanted to talk to the parents. That little, really they don't say much and go with the flow.

 

It's about attitude and preparation. Tell the older one (cos the younger one has no clue) that you are going away for X amount of days. Maybe make a special present for each day.

 

Whatever the reaction, kids will get over it. It will bother YOU a lot more than it will bother them.

 

My now 8 YO grandson says he doesn't want to spend a week with me (cos he has his own family). I said , but if we want to take a cruise it would be for a week. Well, grandma, for a cruise I can be gone a lot longer. It's about priorities LOL.

[CourtneyMcP2012]

Thanks everyone! I am feeling a little better about going now. I am definatly doing a little gift for each child everynight. I like the reading the recorded story idea, i think that would be a great gift for one night!

After reading everyones replys i will also probably print a large eight day calander for our DD's room so she can track where we are each day and how far into vacation we are. (This will also be great learning for her as we have been recently teaching her about time, months, years, days, hours etc.)

Thank you everyone, it is so much appreciated and i figure we will go with the flow and try my hardest to enjoy my time away and IF its too much for me then the next cruise will include to young ones! :D

[martikus]

We've left DS for a week every year since he was 6 months old. It is SOOO nice to have a few days to not be a mom and recharge batteries with DH. Of course, we couldn't do this unless we left DS with someone we fully trusted.

 

We found it easier for DS if we didn't call. And with your kids so young, they live in the moment and have little concept of if you will be back in a hour or days.

 

When DS was 4 we went on our longest cruise and we were gone 8 nights. We went to pick him up, he looked at us and said "you are back too soon." Clearly he had a good time!

 

There is no right answer, you have to do what is best for your family. For us, leaving DS for a week each year to recharge is great. And let's be honest, sometimes its fun for the kids to have a few days away from home where probably the rules are a bit more lax.

[Prinycesa07]

For us, it didn't matter. Our hearts were SO heavy not having her with us, we couldn't wait to get home. SIL emailed us every day, and we had pix with us, but it didn't work.

 

When we got back to port, we raced home, and our hearts broke when she just started crying when she saw us.

 

She will be platinum next cruise.

 

LOVE this. And totally understand. We went away a few months ago for the first time. College friends of ours were getting married in NYC (only 400 miles away) so we went for 2 nights/3 days and left the kids with my parents. They were 1 & 3 at the time. They had a good time but my heart was heavy without them as well. Everything we saw i would think "they would LOVE this!", i called too often, i missed them and wanted them with us. And felt guilty. My 1 year old wouldnt leave my side once we got home. My 3 year old said that she was looking for me. Maybe in the future when they get older we will try again but for now, going on vacation without them is not for us. We cruise in 2 weeks & i cannot wait to experience it with them :D

[BLAMBKY]

Seriously, watch the movie "Parental Guidance". It is funny and may help you think of what you are giving your child, Precious time with your parents! They will appreciate it and the child will develop a deeper relationship with them. :) I left my DD about a year and a half old to go to Hawaii with my DH. We had a great time. I had my DH call and he would tell me that all was ok. It was just easier on me/baby. When we made it home, she was mad at me but I knew it was good for her parents to stay connected. BTW- that was nearly 16 years ago and now we can not leave them, due to our parents both incapable of looking after them. :(

[Mack2]

My eldest son's first cruise, we took him aboard the Disney Magic, about 10 years ago. We left his younger brother, about a year old, with my parents.

 

We had a great cruise! Kinda felt guilty about leaving the toddler with my parents and vowed to take all of the kids on a cruise regardless of their age.

 

 

My parents, on the other hand, had quite a week with my younger son. Shortly after we left on our cruise, my younger son came down with Cocksackie's virus.

http://www.parents.com/baby/health/other-issues/coxsackie-virus-facts/

He had the sores in his mouth, the fever, the blisters... The poor boy couldn't eat or sleep. My parents ended up calling my sister to come over and help since she's a pediatrician.

 

Terrible week for them. They joke now that we had PLANNED that to happen and that it was a set up!

 

Had a really nice time, though...

[Julienatul]

We left our kids for the first time last summer for 7 days to cruise. They were 3 and 6 at the time. We called the first day and spoke to them but it seemed to upset them so the rest of the week we just sent texts back in forth. It was hard when we first left (both DH and I were in tears) but got much easier once we got settled on board. We met a few couples from our roll-call and dinner tablemates and it was WONDERFUL to have a week of relaxation and adult time. The kids did fantastic at their grandparents. It was much harder on us than it was them. They were with people who loved them just as much as we do so it was just like being at home only better because they were "spoiled" for one week.

[Onessa]

When my DD was about 1.5 or so, DH and I went to Las Vegas for a week and left her with my parents. If I had to do it over again, I would have delayed the trip....

I had to show this thread to one of my co-workers. They were on Celebrity last week in March and her not quite 2YO is still going through separation anxiety. She has "velcro" child every waking moment she is home and his bedtime schedule is really messed up.

 

I disagree on this one. We used to leave ours with my parents for trips off and on and I would say that they don't even realize you are gone most of the time. . . . .

I really does seem to vary child-by-child. I used to be very involved with school aged kids -- some if I had not gotten a note from the parents saying someone else would be picking them up, I never would have known the parents were out of town. Others I would have been able to tell -- sometimes it is a minor difference (their behavior is just a bit "off") othertimes it is very noticable (clingy, acting out, very withdrawn, whatever)

 

Bottom line, know your kids' personalities and act accordingly.

[Cshgrand]

We are away on a five night next week. First one without our son who is almost five. He has been on hols with my sister and her family and stayed away a couple of nights at a time before so don't have anxieties with the separation but he would have one ALMIGHTY issue if he knew we were cruising without him.

How have you guys dealt with this issue?

[SusieV]

I know that I need some time to be myself, not just to be Mommy. So every year since my son was six months old, we've left him for at least a week with my family and gone on vacation. He's fine and he has a very strong relationship with his Nana and Papa. And my husband and I get some quality time for our marriage and come home rejuvenated.

 

I don't see anything wrong with taking some time away from your children. It's good for them and for you as long as you have someone trustworthy to leave them with.

 

I put the ShipMate app on my mother's cell phone, so he can watch where we are every day when we're gone. For this upcoming cruise, we are taking him with us, but we usually leave him behind. He's excited enough to stay at Nana's house.