Goodie Bags

[DavidIW]

I think a lot of people, when on holiday, want to have a magical experience and see good in everything that happens. Is this bad, no I don't believe so. We work hard and pay good money for our vacations so why would we want to view it with a cynical attitude.
If people want to give gifts to the staff then they shouldn't be criticised for doing so. I don't give gifts I only give cash but maybe that's a lack of imagination and interest on my part.
I don't want to become friends with the staff, I don't want to become friends with fellow passengers if I'm honest. But I treat everyone the way I would want to be treated and show my respect by not leaving the cabin like a pig sty and expect the steward to clean up after me or being rude to a server.
On the odd occasion when I have asked the steward, after giving a cash tip, if they needed anything they've always asked for our remainder shampoo, conditioner etc. Their choice and always happy to leave it.


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[Donut23]

[quote name='macruisefan']So what you're saying is that when you stay at a Hyatt or Hilton, you leave little gifts and trinkets for the housekeeper? That's a little weird...[/QUOTE]



Just tips and the occasional chocolate.

Not weird at all. Take a look at etiquette guides. Just standard stuff really.

[SeagoingMom]

[quote name='joe6666']And what if he didn't love it?
Would he have acted differently? Of course not. He would act in an appreciative manner to avoid possibly offending you.

Why do some of you folks think that you need to develop some kind of special relationship with the help?[/quote]
[COLOR=DarkRed]I'm not sure folks think they [B]need to develop[/B] a special relationship with the "help," I think they already have!

Possible reasons:

- true good-heartedness (misapplied or not)
- gratitude
- desire [/COLOR][COLOR=DarkRed]to "share the wealth" of their own personal cruise happiness
- guilt (crew is "exploited," right?)
-[I] noblesse oblige
- [/I]superiority masquerading as well-wishing
- innocence
- habit
- upbringing/training
- fellow-feeling
- ego
- competitiveness
- self-righteousness
- humility
- uncertainty
- fear

etc., etc., etc. -- you choose! Could be one motivation, could be several. Most, subconscious. [/COLOR]

[SeagoingMom]

[quote name='DavidIW']
On the odd occasion when I have asked the steward, after giving a cash tip, if they needed anything they've always asked for our remainder shampoo, conditioner etc.

[/quote]
[SIZE=4][COLOR=DarkRed]Really?[/COLOR][/SIZE][COLOR=DarkRed] :confused::confused:

I am gobsmacked! -- if [B]I[/B] go into a hotel room and one of those little bottles of shampoo or conditioner is already open, I throw it away and complain to the front desk.

So the crew really wants your leftovers? How many crew members have you asked this of, and how many have responded this way?

This sheds an entirely new light on the situation, and I will have to do some rethinking... perhaps we [B]should[/B] be looking at the crew more as charity cases than I thought.[/COLOR] [COLOR=DarkRed]Or quite reasonably thrifty individuals, or very conscientious environmentalists...[/COLOR]
[COLOR=DarkRed]
(My astonishment is absolutely serious -- I am not being sarcastic.[/COLOR] [COLOR=DarkRed]But I am also asking myself why I am so astonished at this...)[/COLOR]

[SeagoingMom]

[quote name='LandlockedCruiser01']Now that this thread exploded to 5 pages (with more to come, I'm sure), this raises a question: What exactly is it that makes people see the ship's crew differently than the land equivalents of the same type of workers?

After all, almost no one thinks of giving gifts to waitstaff in restaurants, housekeeping staff in hotels, and so on. (And I'm sure macruisefan here was being facetious. :)) So why would the perception of the ship's crew be different? Is it because they're from foreign countries? Is it because they're seen as less transient than the land staff? (That is, one or two specific persons are assigned to serve you the entire cruise, as opposed whoever is available doing it.) Is it because a cruise ship is seen as something special, while a hotel or a restaurant is "just a building"?

Inquiring minds want to know.[/quote]

[COLOR=DarkRed]Oh, boy, I can't believe you asked this -- trust me, you are probably going to regret it! :eek: This morning[/COLOR][COLOR=DarkRed][COLOR=DarkRed], in response to [B]Joe666[/B]'s earlier question,[/COLOR] I developed an [B]entire amateur psychological thesis[/B] addressing this very topic, but I did not post it, fearing being flamed into a charred cinder by everyone here. Instead, I condensed it down into the list you see in my previous post to Ole Joe :).

But I am not happy with the list -- it is too skeletal, too open to misunderstanding, and too likely to incite controversy -- and we can't have [B]that[/B]! :eek: And unlike [B]any[/B] of the rest of the posters on this thread, I am never as truly happy as when I am expounding at length on a topic about which I know little or nothing, but [/COLOR][COLOR=DarkRed][COLOR=DarkRed]regarding which [/COLOR]have some great theories.

Being the amateur psychologist that I am, what I can't figure out is why I care a fill-in-the-blank about what you all might think of me and my ideas, which leads me to question what is wrong with me that I feel impelled to communicate any of my precious thoughts and valuable conclusions to a bunch of strangers I did not even know existed before a couple of days ago... another dissertation topic...

Don't you just love Cruise Critic?

P.S. I am still considering posting the above-mentioned dissertation -- I invite you all to express your opinion, yea or nay, on whether I should post it. Be advised that your opinions will have no impact at all on my final decision... :rolleyes:
[/COLOR]

[Morecruisesplz]

[quote name='SeagoingMom'][SIZE=4][COLOR=DarkRed]Really?[/COLOR][/SIZE][COLOR=DarkRed] :confused::confused:

I am gobsmacked! -- if [B]I[/B] go into a hotel room and one of those little bottles of shampoo or conditioner is already open, I throw it away and complain to the front desk.

So the crew really wants your leftovers? How many crew members have you asked this of, and how many have responded this way?

This sheds an entirely new light on the situation, and I will have to do some rethinking... perhaps we [B]should[/B] be looking at the crew more as charity cases than I thought.[/COLOR] [COLOR=DarkRed]Or quite reasonably thrifty individuals, or very conscientious environmentalists...[/COLOR]
[COLOR=DarkRed]
(My astonishment is absolutely serious -- I am not being sarcastic.[/COLOR] [COLOR=DarkRed]But I am also asking myself why I am so astonished at this...)[/COLOR][/quote]

My guess is that they use it refill emptied bottles left from the top tier bath amenity sets so they can have those for others who ask thereby increasing their chances for a larger tip. Not for the personal use that you were thinking. The same shampoo/body wash provided free in the dispenser in your showers is also provided staff.

[DavidIW]

[quote name='fredmdcruisers']My guess is that they use it refill emptied bottles left from the top tier bath amenity sets so they can have those for others who ask thereby increasing their chances for a larger tip. Not for the personal use that you were thinking. The same shampoo/body wash provided free in the dispenser in your showers is also provided staff.[/QUOTE]

You may well be right lol, I didn't think of that. Wonder if there's a black market on the ships trading in chocolate and personal grooming products! Seriously, I think we all need to stop criticising other people's good intentions. As one person said, often the personal touch can mean a lot to some people.


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[LandlockedCruiser01]

[quote name='SeagoingMom'][COLOR=darkred]Oh, boy, I can't believe you asked this -- trust me, you are probably going to regret it! :eek: This morning[/COLOR][COLOR=darkred][COLOR=darkred], in response to [B]Joe666[/B]'s earlier question,[/COLOR] I developed an [B]entire amateur psychological thesis[/B] addressing this very topic, but I did not post it, fearing being flamed into a charred cinder by everyone here. Instead, I condensed it down into the list you see in my previous post to Ole Joe :).
...[/COLOR][COLOR=darkred]

P.S. I am still considering posting the above-mentioned dissertation -- I invite you all to express your opinion, yea or nay, on whether I should post it. Be advised that your opinions will have no impact at all on my final decision... :rolleyes:
[/COLOR][/quote]
You know, it'd be kind of interesting to read, length be damned, just impractical to post on Cruise Critic. Personally, I'm not keen on becoming friends with the crew. Despite the boatloads (excuse the pun) of niceties exchanged, the passenger/crew differential will never go away. So I give them the same respect and professionalism I'd want passengers to give me if I worked on a ship.

I used to work in retail, and the last thing I wanted is to get to know my customers. Don't get me wrong: I didn't have a "pay and get out" attitude. But other than words of politeness and maybe a joke or two, the "getting to know" part ended there and then. And honestly, I'd be flat-out insulted if a customer tried to give me a gift. I'm a full-grown man taking action to put food on the table, not a charity case.

The technology to read minds isn't there yet, so I have no choice but to project my own beliefs onto crew members helping me. So it's professionalism and respect during the cruise, followed by a cash tip (on top of the pre-paid one) and a handshake at the end. Do [I]all[/I] crew members hold the same belief? Probably not. But hey, it's the only information I got to work with.

[joe6666]

[quote name='DavidIW']I think a lot of people, when on holiday, want to have a magical experience and see good in everything that happens. Is this bad, no I don't believe so. We work hard and pay good money for our vacations so why would we want to view it with a cynical attitude.
If people want to give gifts to the staff then they shouldn't be criticised for doing so. I don't give gifts I only give cash but maybe that's a lack of imagination and interest on my part.
I don't want to become friends with the staff, I don't want to become friends with fellow passengers if I'm honest. But I treat everyone the way I would want to be treated and show my respect by not leaving the cabin like a pig sty and expect the steward to clean up after me or being rude to a server.
On the odd occasion when I have asked the steward, after giving a cash tip, if they needed anything they've always asked for our remainder shampoo, conditioner etc. Their choice and always happy to leave it.


Sent using the Cruise Critic forums app[/quote]

[quote name='DavidIW']I think a lot of people, when on holiday, want to have a magical experience and see good in everything that happens. Is this bad, no I don't believe so. We work hard and pay good money for our vacations so why would we want to view it with a cynical attitude.
If people want to give gifts to the staff then they shouldn't be criticised for doing so. I don't give gifts I only give cash but maybe that's a lack of imagination and interest on my part.
I don't want to become friends with the staff, I don't want to become friends with fellow passengers if I'm honest. But I treat everyone the way I would want to be treated and show my respect by not leaving the cabin like a pig sty and expect the steward to clean up after me or being rude to a server.
On the odd occasion when I have asked the steward, after giving a cash tip, if they needed anything they've always asked for our remainder shampoo, conditioner etc. Their choice and always happy to leave it.


Sent using the Cruise Critic forums app[/quote]

What do you mean you asked them if they needed anything?

Here you are, standing in your stateroom, about to walk out at the end of a cruise and after you give them a cash gratuity, you ask them if they needed anything?

And you say they asked for your used soap or shampoo. Why did they have to ask for that. Would you have poured it down the drain if they hadn't asked for it?
And at your point of exit, wouldn't that already be done?

[cruzincurt]

[quote name='DavidIW']
On the odd occasion when I have asked the steward, after giving a cash tip, if they needed anything they've always asked for our remainder shampoo, conditioner etc. Their choice and always happy to leave it.
Sent using the Cruise Critic forums app[/quote]

And now I'm sorry we always threw our vacation toothbrushes away at the end of the cruise.:rolleyes:

[joe6666]

[quote name='cruzincurt']And now I'm sorry we always threw our vacation toothbrushes away at the end of the cruise.:rolleyes:[/quote]

And all that chewing gum that you just wrapped up and threw away.

[cruiseluvingirl]

[quote name='CruisinDawn']If you want to make it more personal bring Thank You cards for either just a personal note or a note with additional tip. Nice thing is they don't take up valuable space or add weight if your flying. Our room steward took the time to write us a Thank You note one cruise and it meant the world to us. I always bring some, sometimes they get used and sometimes they don't. :)

BonVoyage
Dawna[/quote]

]We do the same thing, they always tell us how special our "Thank you" card is. We usually make conversation with them in the hallway sometime during the day so we can always find something personal to add to our note. We include extra cash in the card as well.

[m*u*g*]

Nothing wrong with goodie bags if this is in addition to the tip. Put watever you want in it. Those who say they won't care don't really know what the staff really think.

[misty57]

Why do the crew work on a cruise ship? Answer: For the money!
What makes your job pleasurable or at least tolerable? Answer: For me is people who are pleasant, appreciative and polite.

To me it makes sense to tip well, be neat and considerate and to remember please and thank you! A personal note is nice but not something that they will treasure always... truth be told they probably won't remember you in a few days unless you are so generous they can't believe it or you are so disgusting they can't believe it.

Just have a good vacation and move on.:rolleyes:

[macruisefan]

Honestly, if a crew member asked me for my left over shampoo, I would be somewhere between mortified and disgusted. Furthermore, I imagine if RCI knew of this, they would be appalled. They certainly don't want their staff to appear as destitute beggars...

[teajak]

[quote name='m*u*g*']Nothing wrong with goodie bags if this is in addition to the tip. Put watever you want in it. Those who say they won't care don't really know what the staff really think.[/quote]Nor do you or any of us, they know they work in a service industry and respond accordingly.

[jules815]

I always leave some stuff behind in the bathroom; shampoo, conditioner, bathroom spray, etc. I leave it because I don't want the extra weight in my suitcase. I figure they can throw it out or keep it, whatever floats their boat. We always tip cash.

And not to go off topic, but I own a pet sitting/dog walking business in the Chicago suburbs. I had a customer once try to PAY one of my dog walkers with children's hand me down clothing! ("How about if I give you $40, plus this bag of clothes.")

[WetToes]

[quote name='jules815']I always leave some stuff behind in the bathroom; shampoo, conditioner, bathroom spray, etc. I leave it because I don't want the extra weight in my suitcase. I figure they can throw it out or keep it, whatever floats their boat.


[/quote]

I see nothing wrong with that.
I always send away for free packets of shampoo/conditioner. I take these with me. They take up NO room, as I stuff them in a shoe, etc. They have no real weight either.
Any unopened ones get left in the suitcase for the next trip.

[awhcruiser]

Nice answer. Does being Diamond give you first hand knowledge?
[quote name='fredmdcruisers']The only language universally spoken is "cash." What ever you pick will most likely not be anything your cabin attendant or other server will have any use for. They have a routine when they are able to leave the ship in port and know ahead of time if they are going to K-mart for something particular on that stop or something different.

Just save yourself the prep time and space in your suitcase and add that value to the cash you were planning to give. The only "gift" they want from you is a smile when you hand them the tip.[/QUOTE]

[awhcruiser]

Like
[quote name='phish tales']nice advertisement. it so is easy to see you are dia+.
i like that banner.[/QUOTE]

[SeagoingMom]

So this is what we really need on this thread -- first hand information in the form of responses from actual crew members (or former ones) on actual ships -- otherwise, all we can do is speculate as to "what the crew wants," and apply our own North American/European values and norms to analyze the situation.

 

But it is so much fun to do that! Why interject facts to confuse the issue? :)

 

Ultimately, I think no one wants to denigrate the good intentions of pax who want to give goody bags -- as long as they do not replace (or reduce) cash tips -- which virtually all pro-goody bag posters say they don't. The issue that is mostly being argued is whether the crew wants or can use the "stuff" in the bags. This we can only speculate on.

 

Whether the givers of bags may be doing it to please themselves vs please the recipients is another matter, and best not delved into too far -- we all "do things for others" with selfish motivations, at least from time to time, and we cannot say that this is occurring in the case of goody bag giving.

 

I will say, though, being the mother of 5 children, receiving very generous quantities of gifts from doting aunts, uncle, and grandparents over the years of my children's youth, we became completely overloaded with "stuff". Relatives were naturally giving duplicate presents -- "we already have that game!" -- and presents which the kids did not want or use. There was more than one Christmas where my young children got so tired of opening presents that they just stopped doing it and walked away, and we ended up driving home from my mother's house with as-yet unopened Christmas presents!

 

This is one aspect of the goody bag dilemma that has been addressed -- the "overloading" of crew members' living quarters and lives.

 

All in all, a very interesting discussion -- just wish we could get someone authoritative to share their perspective.

[celticd1]

Nice answer. Does being Diamond give you first hand knowledge?

 

:eek:

 

(I can play too!)