Silversea Water Cooler: Welcome!

[UKCruiseJeff]

I feel much better now Jeff, thanks to your words of comfort! Ha Ha! And I was not feeling sorry for you! You are not defenseless and absolutely do not need pity! You are extremely witty and entertaining and I look forward each day to the next episode of "Life According to Jeff". The lad is currently reading the Gospel of Biga according to Jeff. There are no curse words yet so I think things are going well! :)

 

You are beginning to sound a little like wifey. Good or bad, I cook her food every day and I make her laugh a few times a day. She calls it "Jeff's World" which I happen to find preferable to the real thing. The real world makes no sense, but I understand my own perfectly.:)

 

I hope I have taught your hubby how to creat a rise for himself that he will be proud of. Just remember, the biga the better.

 

Jeff

[mysty]

You are beginning to sound a little like wifey. Good or bad, I cook her food every day and I make her laugh a few times a day. She calls it "Jeff's World" which I happen to find preferable to the real thing. The real world makes no sense, but I understand my own perfectly.:)

 

I hope I have taught your hubby how to creat a rise for himself that he will be proud of. Just remember, the biga the better.

 

Jeff

I agree with your wife! Jeff's World is much more appealing than reality and filled with a lot more laughter! He's attempting to follow your excellent instructions now. I'll keep you posted! I think I will soon enjoy some very yummy pizza! Thanks Jeff! :)

[UKCruiseJeff]

I agree with your wife! Jeff's World is much more appealing than reality and filled with a lot more laughter! He's attempting to follow your excellent instructions now. I'll keep you posted! I think I will soon enjoy some very yummy pizza! Thanks Jeff! :)

 

No probs! :D

 

We are just half way through our third West Wing of the night ... shortly before 2am here in the UK. S you know, I do not sleep and wifey stays with me until the point of exhaustion,

 

And I find myself with yet another career. If it hadn't been for you, I wouldn't have found a new career in helping female acquaintances help their husbands obtain a decent rise. So now the Doctor Ruth (roll those 'r's .... ) of Naples.

 

Nighty, nighty!

 

:)

 

Jeff

[mysty]

No probs! :D

 

We are just half way through our third West Wing of the night ... shortly before 2am here in the UK. S you know, I do not sleep and wifey stays with me until the point of exhaustion,

 

And I find myself with yet another career. If it hadn't been for you, I wouldn't have found a new career in helping female acquaintances help their husbands obtain a decent rise. So now the Doctor Ruth (roll those 'r's .... ) of Naples.

 

Nighty, nighty!

 

:)

 

Jeff

Dr. Ruth of Naples indeed! :) I'll let you know how the rise goes. And I will keep it chaste! Nite Nite Jeff!

[specialcruisegirl]

Pasta looks great...

 

Brief update on Bromley.

She seems to be calmer now that we have instituted Melatonin and Lignans.

Less panting during the night. We also purchased a cool bed for her. It's basically a water bed, but feels cold like a tile floor. She does sleep on it at times.

She remains frail but eating and drinking are her greatest pleasures.

 

And so it goes...

 

Noticed that the Queen wore her midweight tiara/crown for her speech. Reports were that she practiced wearing it several times so that no mishap would occur during her speech and which might embarrass the family. She was also attired in a lot of other costly bijoux. Quite an amazing lady!

 

Thanks for the update on Bromley......you are making her very comfortable by the sound of it and it's good that she's still eating.

 

The Queen is amazing isn't she, so much stamina for a lady her age...still 'working' full time!

 

Just woken up here to a nasty cold and wet morning...perfect English May weather! :rolleyes:

 

Sophia :)

[specialcruisegirl]

No probs! :D

 

We are just half way through our third West Wing of the night ... shortly before 2am here in the UK. S you know, I do not sleep and wifey stays with me until the point of exhaustion,

 

And I find myself with yet another career. If it hadn't been for you, I wouldn't have found a new career in helping female acquaintances help their husbands obtain a decent rise. So now the Doctor Ruth (roll those 'r's .... ) of Naples.

 

Nighty, nighty!

 

:)

 

Jeff

 

Ahem.....that should be Naughty Naughty Jeffers...;):D.....not sure if you should be on Britains Got Talent or the X Factor....:eek:

 

Hehe

 

S:)

[UKCruiseJeff]

Ahem.....that should be Naughty Naughty Jeffers...;):D.....not sure if you should be on Britains Got Talent or the X Factor....:eek:

 

Hehe

 

S:)

 

 

You're right Sloppy Gal ....

 

They should 'ave a speshul programme specially for blokes like me who have spent most of their time being dumped. "The Ex-factor!"

 

As I think we all know I'm a particularly ugly and irritatin' bloke who has to rely on my cooking and personality to try and get ahead and make progress with the fairer sex.

 

Anway .... I have just discovered ... and I am very proud of this ... that you can squeeze the last few drops out of those wine box bags if you pull the bag out of the box and skweeeze really hard - a bit like playing the bag pipes - so today hasn't been completely wasted. A few free drops of Kiwi. :D

 

It's good to hear that Bromley is a bit calmer. :)

 

Jeff

Edited May 29, 2015 by UKCruiseJeff

[mysty]

Hi - no probs.

 

Yes it ferments at normal temperature on the counter. It is a sort of sourdough-lite starter with none of the shananighans.

 

It sounded complicated. It isn't. 30 seconds to make the bigga. 9 minutes to measure and mix - 8 of which is done by the machine. And then folding and shaping the pizza which he'd have to do any method.

 

He will have other questions - just ask.

 

Happy 65th to him.

 

Jeff

Jeff, he is now working on his interpretation of your very detailed instructions. Not sure how this will go. I told him that you are open to questions. His response - "I'm an engineer. I don't ask questions". Pride cometh before the fall. We'll just see how that translates. Stay tuned.

[Fighterone]

How kind of you to say something nice about my efforts! You have made a very grumpy person very happy! :)

 

I was tempted to say something pithy like "You'd think with all those chefs running around in those kitchens on an Italian boat managed by Italians they could find someone to put a topping on a bit of dough and making a simple a Neapolitan pizza without making a pigs ear of it ..... wouldn't you!" :D

 

In fact most of the senior people come from a sailing academy in Naples, which of course is the home of pizza and is the pizza in the picture.

 

I know it was wrong, and it is entirely my own fault. But I was looking at a food thread on the Regent board, where people who had paid a small fortune for the finest things in life posted pictures of the wonderful food dished up on Regent. Most pictures posted generated a standing ovation from the vicarious travellers who all seem to shout "Bravo" with a single voice. Some of the things that almost made me want to weep was a bowl of pasta that looked like Heinz Spaghetti, a risotto that was so white it looked like a prawn had landed on a bowl of porridge, and a paella that looked more like couscous. Almost everything looked very cheap and dire. My wife looked at a marble sized serving of sorbet in a big bowl. There was so much in that thread that was ....welll ... it was all terrible and shameful.

 

If a n English untrained bloke like me can make a pizza at home without help, and it is simple ..... why can't trained chefs do so on an Italian ship?

 

The answer of course is that the only way you can get a decent pizza is to change all the other passengers so that there is no longer a profitable market for the muck they are serving up to standing ovation. Why would they change?

 

Thanks again. You can come again.

 

:)

 

Jeff

I should visit this page more often! Loving the food porn pictures! Uncle Jeff, the best pizza I ever had was in Rome in 1972 (oh. now I am dated!LOL) It could be that I was recovering from some form of illness that had me starving for a few days. Must say I also love the French pissaladière and also the former chèvre pizza, no longer offered on CCL. I am definitely a fan willing to try new ones. Your pictures are mouth watering, please keep posting.

[UKCruiseJeff]

Jeff, he is now working on his interpretation of your very detailed instructions. Not sure how this will go. I told him that you are open to questions. His response - "I'm an engineer. I don't ask questions". Pride cometh before the fall. We'll just see how that translates. Stay tuned.

 

Hi,

 

Tell him I'm the salesman ... he knows engineers always have to produce what the salesman promise. :D

 

I hope his first shot is decent and he doesn't get disheartened. What I tried to do in my instructions was not just give a recipe - that would have been three easy lines - but explain the principles behind it. Once people understand the principles they can dispense with recipes. I no longer follow recipes for bread. All you need is to understand the relationship between ingredients, time and temperature and you don't need the recipes. Ingredients is flour and hydration rates.

 

Let us know how he progresses and tell him it's a journey, and I'm happy to help.

 

Jeff

 

:)

[UKCruiseJeff]

I should visit this page more often! Loving the food porn pictures! Uncle Jeff, the best pizza I ever had was in Rome in 1972 (oh. now I am dated!LOL) It could be that I was recovering from some form of illness that had me starving for a few days. Must say I also love the French pissaladière and also the former chèvre pizza, no longer offered on CCL. I am definitely a fan willing to try new ones. Your pictures are mouth watering, please keep posting.

 

Thanks .. yes you should come more often.

 

One of the real downsides of the gift and privilege of travel and a terminal interest and nosiness of what others eat, is that you eat things you can't forget and probably might not be able to return for some more. Hence my passion for reproducing what I like that I eat when I travel. The problem is if you are a perfectionist you end up rarely being happy with the food you make. It is often a long and frustrating journey.

 

So with pizza it meant importing Caputo flour all the way from Naples, buying a pizza oven from a factory in Sorrento and just ploughing on until I had a proper Neapolitan pizza. But the joy of being self-sufficient in producing pretty much all of the food that you have enjoyed on your travels is really rewarding. Basically I'll have a go at anything and everything and don't give up until I can "do it".

 

I hope you've looked back through the thread a bit .... there is I'm afraid a lot of food ......

 

:)

 

Jeff

[mysty]

Well Jeff, I have to say his first effort is definitely an improvement! :) Not quite there yet but the journey has begun! He is impressed with the difference in texture and flavour and so am I. There are some things to work out. We are somewhat lacking in equipment and that will be remedied. No scale and no stand mixer. We are food heathens here. I will pass on your generous offer to help! Thanks so much Jef. The gin martinis were delcious! And the adventure well worth it!

[UKCruiseJeff]

Well Jeff, I have to say his first effort is definitely an improvement! :) Not quite there yet but the journey has begun! He is impressed with the difference in texture and flavour and so am I. There are some things to work out. We are somewhat lacking in equipment and that will be remedied. No scale and no stand mixer. We are food heathens here. I will pass on your generous offer to help! Thanks so much Jef. The gin martinis were delcious! And the adventure well worth it!

 

I'm so pleased .......

 

He'll need to really mix that dough by hand for a long time to produce the gluten to compensate formthe high hydration rate. This also gives the chewy character he will be seeking.

 

The next really easy thing to do, that sounds too daft to have any effect but will make the world of difference is to mix the mix that you are adding to the biga the same time you make the biga. So to be be clear, all you are doing is getting a second bowl and mixing just flour and water in the quantity I suggested - it will be stiff - and letting it sit overnight. This process is called hydrolising the enzymes in the flour.

 

In fanciful terms you are now doing two things. You are creating the ferment in one bowl really slowly and you are developing the enzymes in the other bowl which you will eventually feed to the hungry ferment. They will find those enzymes yummy and reward you with even better character and flavour. This seems almost rediculous but it adds considerably more flavour and character.

 

Jeff

[mysty]

I trust you Jeff and will pass your words of wisdom on to my dearly loved chef. He is keen to learn and he really does appreciate your input. His question tonight is "What does Jeff do for his sauce?". My lad cooks pureed tomatoes and spices to the "right" consistency. :) I think he is seeking your guidance here. A rare move for him. :)

[UKCruiseJeff]

I trust you Jeff and will pass your words of wisdom on to my dearly loved chef. He is keen to learn and he really does appreciate your input. His question tonight is "What does Jeff do for his sauce?". My lad cooks pureed tomatoes and spices to the "right" consistency. I think he is seeking your guidance here. A rare move for him.

 

Good morning!

 

The sauce is really easy and this is my version of the perfect Neapolitan sauce.

 

Up-end a carton of good passata into a bowl. Add a dot of chilli, a fair amount of sugar, some garlic salt, some celery salt, lots of coursely ground black pepper, and a lot of dried oregano and mix.

 

If you are planning more than one pizza night - you should have those spare dough balls in the fridge - then put the mix into a fridge container. If not split up into freezer batches. Hubby should have some of those little plastic boxes that takeawys are delivered in. One plastic box is around two large pizza.

 

The important thing about saucing are two things.

 

1. Less is more. That sauce has intense flavour so doesn't need quanity.

 

2. He must sauce at the last moment before you cook, otherwise you will soak the dough and produce a dumpling rather than a pizza. This also allows the crumb (dough/bread) to grow it's little bubbles unmolested.

 

This gives hubby an idea of how we like to dose ours ... or to be more accurate this is my wife's dose .... I have a little less than this.

 

 

 

Now hopefully I am tantalising his flatbread taste buds and he may wish to widen his pizza reportoire.

 

This is my version of a type of pizza or flatbread you will find in some parts of Turkey and Afghanistan. It's called Lahmacun or in some places Lahmajine or Lahmajun. It is a mix of minced lamb on exactly the dough he is now making and topped with a salad. In some places it is a street food. This is a wonderful thing to make

 

This is a couple of different ones I've made. It is the sort of food to be savoured and eaten slowly on a warm summers afternoon in the garden with a large mug of cheap but robust red wine. Eaten slowly over conversation. I hope it encourages him.

 

 

 

 

 

Edited May 30, 2015 by UKCruiseJeff

[mysty]

Awesome hints and pictures Jeff! He will love these! His sauce coating looks a lot like the picture you provided. He uses only a thin slather on the dough. The various other options you described look sooooooo delicious! When he wakes up (he loves to sleep in on weekends), I will show him these. We both love lamb so I will steer him gently in that direction. :) Thanks so much Jeff for your very generous help!

[spinnaker2]

I'd like to order a take out....what's the telephone number?

[TLCOhio]

I'd like to order a take out....what's the telephone number?

 

YES!! YES!! Need that phone number to place our orders. Plus, just one small detail about delivery from the UK. Do you just deliver to Florida? Or, to Ohio, also?

 

THANKS! Enjoy! Terry in Ohio

 

Enjoyed a 14-day, Jan. 20-Feb. 3, 2014, Sydney to Auckland adventure, getting a big sampling for the wonders of "down under” before and after this cruise. Go to:

http://boards.cruisecritic.com/showthread.php?t=1974139

for more info and many pictures of these amazing sights in this great part of the world. Now at 108,668 views for this posting.

[UKCruiseJeff]

Awesome hints and pictures Jeff! He will love these! His sauce coating looks a lot like the picture you provided. He uses only a thin slather on the dough. The various other options you described look sooooooo delicious! When he wakes up (he loves to sleep in on weekends), I will show him these. We both love lamb so I will steer him gently in that direction. :) Thanks so much Jeff for your very generous help!

 

 

As you like the lamb .... this is what lahmucan is like in street food mode ie folded for walking and eating ....

 

I post this purely to make you demand it is made. The simplest food is the best.

 

 

 

Today we had some crispy duck again ... as we ate it before I remembered to take a piccy ... I cheated and this was the last one.

 

 

 

[mysty]

Jeff, that is a beautiful story of Barbera Hepworth! What a wonderful way to be remembered. I hope when I am no longer walking this earth, that someone remembers something kind about me! And I am now smitten with the lamb pizza idea. My nature is not to demand, however if I drop enough pointed hints, magically my wishes are very often granted. Some might call it nagging. I prefer to think of it as hints. :) Thanks again for the pics and the suggestions.

[UKCruiseJeff]

Jeff, that is a beautiful story of Barbera Hepworth! What a wonderful way to be remembered. I hope when I am no longer walking this earth, that someone remembers something kind about me! And I am now smitten with the lamb pizza idea. My nature is not to demand, however if I drop enough pointed hints, magically my wishes are very often granted. Some might call it nagging. I prefer to think of it as hints. :) Thanks again for the pics and the suggestions.

 

 

M.

 

I'm gald you like the BH anecdote as I appreciated the opportunity of talking about her.

 

I'm in your debt ... not the other way around. It's nice to have someone else awake when it's 03:15 here in the UK and even with a decent slug of Torres ... I'm not really tired and I'm still up and can't face bed. :eek:

 

Lahmucan is a perfect thing if you think about it. Is there anything better than a Perfect Pizza? Is there anything better than a lamb kofta in a pitta? So it takes peasents to hatch a cunning plan to make the best of both.

 

Tell hubby not to forget some pine nuts, fresh chopped red chilli, some fresh chopped mint, some cinnamom, some grated onion, chopped red peppers and some smokey paprika etc .... and cheap fatty minced lamb is the way it should be.

 

I often wonder why bread is such a primevil instinct. I have decided.

 

Isn't it because you kill grain when you grind it into flour. You then resurect it when you add natural yeasts and give it life again into a living thing. You grow it and nurture it and make it alive and vibrant and growing. Then you put it into the oven and when it reaches 180 you kill it again ... and then you feed it to bring life to people. "Manna from heaven" "The bread of life".

 

I think your husband is a cave man like me.

 

:)

 

Jeff

[Travelcat2]

As you like the lamb .... this is what lahmucan is like in street food mode ie folded for walking and eating ....

 

I post this purely to make you demand it is made. The simplest food is the best.

 

 

 

Today we had some crispy duck again ... as we ate it before I remembered to take a piccy ... I cheated and this was the last one.

 

 

 

Stopped by the Silversea board specifically to see your latest food photos. Definitely did not disappoint:D

[mysty]

You wax so philosophical at this time in the morning for you! I am impressed! I think my lad shares a lot of your sensibilities. He does not draw on our home walls but he does enjoy tasty basic foods. Not an uneducated palate but not one interested in food as a somewhat misguided version of art on a plate. It is a treat to chat with you Jeff. There is no debt incurred! :)

[mysty]

I guess this is goodnight Jeff! Sleep well!

[UKCruiseJeff]

You wax so philosophical at this time in the morning for you! I am impressed! I think my lad shares a lot of your sensibilities. He does not draw on our home walls but he does enjoy tasty basic foods. Not an uneducated palate but not one interested in food as a somewhat misguided version of art on a plate. It is a treat to chat with you Jeff. There is no debt incurred!

 

Do you know that the most misrepresented of all of the philosphers was probably Epicurus? :)

 

Stopped by the Silversea board specifically to see your latest food photos. Definitely did not disappoint

 

 

Thanks TCII ...

Edited May 31, 2015 by UKCruiseJeff