.......idle jottings

[Jim Avery]

And when you check out of said quality hotel, the extra added taxes and surcharges will serve you right for being mean to Jimbodini.:eek: Just kidding. If we didn't have to make connections and spend all day flying we would not stay there overnight any more either. Just not possible to get there from here by 5pm on sailing day even if it all goes right. Aaaahh but we can all relax knowing exactly where Hum will be for the next fortnight. No worries about answering that ring at the door.:eek: :D Again, in jest. We are saving a special bottle of Tequila for you two.

[abenaki]

....and I enjoyed every golden word from the Oracle. I look forward to our long breakfasts together.

Just about now Blondie should be at the top of the gangway, showing a little leg no doubt. Kisses all around all around, while following behind at a safe distance, unnoticed, a wrinkled shabby mess is seen struggling under the weight of innumerable cases and totes.

 

Calm seas ahead to you. Looking forward to some high drama reporting from the high seas. Feel free to embroider the details to enhance the novella.

[TrulyBlonde]

That Colarado thing was a bit shady wasnt it Potofionitaly?

What happened to democracy?

No, of course, its none of Hum's business but even so.

Hum knows a guy who recently moved to Colorado......shady character too.

Some connection Hum's guessing.

Never hear much from him these days.

Up to his neck on politcial corruption no doubt.

Used to be a really nice guy too.

Shame.

Hum will reach out to the sinner.

Well "who is without a sin" and all.

Yes Commander we all know, you are pretty well perfect and was recently "sinned" against by Hum in that reprehensible (gossamer thin) association as a purveyor of films for "adults" and as a person who loves showering excessively.

Apologies dear chum.

Three "Hail Marys" and two "Our Fathers" offered for divine forgiveness (no, not from You ! Him. Hum knows you only accept CASH!).

Mind you, you always smell kinda fresh (on account of all those showers no doubt!).

 

Seriously Mr. Hum,

The Donald is correct..voting in CO is rigged. I am a resident of that crazy state for the skiing and I could not vote this year. I am currently at our NY Summer residence and cannot vote here either because CO is the main residence (you understand those nasty NY taxes). Conclusion..."The Art of the Deal" ...Trump will still win..Brilliant

[May B]

... to be able to give us a history lesson from a cab ride. Thank you, hum!

 

Have a great cruise.

[gcmv]

We enter the room and he forensically details the operating method for each piece of equipment! Hum swears he even tells us how to operate the light switches! "It's up for off and down for on. They all conveniently operate the same way". Finally Hum bundles him out the door saying we are very tired and stuffing dollars into his hand. He finally goes! We dont know how to operate the safe. We phone nincumpoop who sends bag guy and it all starts off again. Hum runs a bath, locks the door and let him and Blondie understand the complexities of the safe.

 

Dearest ho-hum,

while reading theses lines, gcmv is very worried about you!

Let him explain why:

When a bag guy gives operation instruction for light switches to you, three reasons are on the cards:

 

1. He thinks hum is even older than he already looks like.

2. Hum gives the impression of a confused state of mind.

3. Hum had too many drinks during the flight.

 

Gcmv bets on point 3! :D

 

Hum provides the conclusive proof in the following – which real man would burden his beloved wife with such idle technical irrelevances like “safe operating”? :eek:

 

Hum, old chap – take good care during the crossing and watch out for standing about ladders, Polish contractors (and vodka)! ;)

[ho-hum]

Never, ever, ever has there been such a pre-boarding "kerfuffle" and trauma like it!!

 

Oh Hum has told you before about most of this and alluded to an existential "re-set" in his miserable life.

 

To use a financial market analogy, there appeared to have been a "correction" in the over inflated stocks of the "Jolly Ho Hum Corporation" and the share price fell, then levelled out and then plummeted into free fall which knocked the "smug, self-satisfied smile off Hum's face" and the fearful intrinsic nature that lay behind the facade was fully exposed to the reality of life!

 

Oh darn it!

 

The trusted humour (often dark.....deep purple, if Hum were to be precise) that acted as a shock absorber or filter to the banalities, vanities and everything else ending in "ities" (no not those ones.....really!) had abandoned sensitive Hum and peering out onto this "vale of woes" all Hum surveyed on the internal and external landscape was ghastliness in all its forms accompanied by all pervading hopelessness.

 

And so day to day reactions to life were also fundamentally altered resulting in over-protectiveness (and "snappiness") accompanied by a wish to retreat to the deeper reality found beyond and only discoverable in silence and stillness and strangely too, by giving up all hope, abandoning oneself to "it", as is pointed to in Milton's "Paradise Lost" (one of the worlds best pieces of literature though sadly not popular these days) and of course Dante's "Divine Comedy" whom, through Virgil speaks of entering "hell" (and paradise eventually beyond).

 

Through me you pass into the city of woe:

Through me you pass into eternal pain:

Through me among the people lost for aye.

 

Justice the founder of my fabric mov'd:

To rear me was the task of power divine,

Supremest wisdom, and primeval love.

 

Before me things create were none, save things

Eternal, and eternal I endure.

All hope abandon ye who enter here.

 

Such characters in colour dim I mark'd

Over a portal's lofty arch inscrib'd:

Whereat I thus: Master, these words import.

 

Hum doesn't remember any choice in being offered "sensitivity", it seemed to have come pre-loaded into the "system" much as software comes with a new computer (though Hum was offered the choice of ravishing good lucks or a great memory but Hum forgets his answer ....... believe Hum, that gag has been cleaned up extensively).

 

Puerto "Frigging" Rico!

Good riddance!

After the hotel transfer "hier soir" and the "we only sell wine by the glass" (at 14 frigging dollars a slug) fiasco we awake from our narrowest of beds because Hum was un-pleasant to the "stupid boy" at the Front Desk and he had exacted his revenge by placing us in a box room (more box than room): we then walked the entire length of one street looking for a nice place to eat breakfast.

There was nothing appropriate.

Plus ........ no it is unfair to criticise Hum's fellow man but.....

Was PR being used as an open air asylum Hum thought.

The inhabitants of which had obviously "benefitted" from clothing donations around the world which the rest of the world had obviously no appetite for: garish, brightly coloured clothing which still enabled slabs and mounds of flesh to exude from all kinds of areas, un-expected and otherwise.

We return to our hotel for breakfast.

To "cut a long story short" our breakfast was complimentary as the "wait" was truly horrendous yet Hum's hanger steak was delicious (though sadly lukewarm).

Watching a buffet line in the restaurant was fascinatingly grotesque. Hum re-positioned himself to avoid the sights of half naked people move around like cattle as they juxtaposed food elements around one another onto high, pyramid shaped troughs. Now Blondie had full view of "feed time" and commented upon the gross activities being performed.

What are we two turning into?

Ghastly, privileged, self-entitled snobs.

Quite possibly.

Guilty as charged.

"It's a fair cop guv, throw us in the chokey and throw away the key"

 

Even the taxi ride to the port had to be accompanied by ghastly sentimental Latin music whaling loudly from the taxi driver's crackly radio. The driver was adorned with the narrowest of beards circumventing his chin.

Hum wondered which gang he was affiliated to; the "Jets" or the "Sharks".

But what made it worse: he was cheery!

Crass religious paraphernalia dangled, jostled, glistened and swayed in front of his windscreen though not so, to obstruct this obviously devout "man of God" from not being so visibly impaired as to enable him to spot any female in his extensive field of vision to whom he wolf-whistled and cockily leered at on our short journey from hotel to port: no doubt refining his skill at courtship as he drove in the hope of hastily "mating" by the time of his next break (and quite possibly on the very seat Hum's posterior had spread ........oh double yuk!).

 

Get Hum outta here!!!!

 

Hum has'nt even made it to the ruddy boat yet!

Will he make it even?

The next enthralling episode of "From hell to paradise (hopefully)" sometime soon.

Hum is shattered.

Edited April 18, 2016 by ho-hum

[ho-hum]

Dearest ho-hum,

while reading theses lines, gcmv is very worried about you!

Let him explain why:

When a bag guy gives operation instruction for light switches to you, three reasons are on the cards:

 

1. He thinks hum is even older than he already looks like.

2. Hum gives the impression of a confused state of mind.

3. Hum had too many drinks during the flight.

 

Gcmv bets on point 3! :D

 

Hum provides the conclusive proof in the following – which real man would burden his beloved wife with such idle technical irrelevances like “safe operating”? :eek:

 

Hum, old chap – take good care during the crossing and watch out for standing about ladders, Polish contractors (and vodka)! ;)

 

Hum would select option 1.

Alcohol has never inhibited Hum too much indeed he becomes transformed into a thing of beauty but taking trousers off after a night on the "razzle" has sometimes ocassioned Hum to fall "ass uber tit" when going to the toilet in the middle of the night!

Thank Hum's dearest Heidelburgundian chum for your kind concern.

Only two contractors onboard but no sign of any ladders or hairy ample buttocks!

Edited April 18, 2016 by ho-hum

[commander courageous]

Sounds like a remake of Stanley Kramer's '63 frolic, though decidedly

less comedic. From the atria loos at the posh Olive Hotel, to the hyper sexed cab driver to the port, your pre-cruise adventures seem to leave much to be desired.

 

This, of course, will all change when the US taxpayers bailout Puerto

Rico for the umpteenth time. And imagine, residents there don't even

pay US taxes. Do you wonder why we assiduously avoid that

"hellhole" whenever possible.

 

Anyway, my darlings, you are now safely in the bosom of Sea Dream,

no doubt having enjoyed today's luncheon of fresh moules-frites and a tasty Muscadet. Have a wonderful crossing and write often!

 

The Commander and his Matey

 

 

 

[ho-hum]

Seriously Mr. Hum,

The Donald is correct..voting in CO is rigged. I am a resident of that crazy state for the skiing and I could not vote this year. I am currently at our NY Summer residence and cannot vote here either because CO is the main residence (you understand those nasty NY taxes). Conclusion..."The Art of the Deal" ...Trump will still win..Brilliant

 

Hum hears ya Porto.

[ho-hum]

... to be able to give us a history lesson from a cab ride. Thank you, hum!

 

Have a great cruise.

 

Always so generous, always so kind, always appreciated by Hum.

 

Hmmmm.....quite good Hum, maybe Hum should consider the "greeting card business"!

 

Roses are red, violets are blue,

Was it me who broke wind or was it you?

[ho-hum]

And so we board.

This beautiful "lady" (SDII) lays comfortably alongside the dock in a languid, easy repose bathed in the gorgeous warm sunshine mit (with) a wonderful breeze caressing her lines.

We soon meet up with a couple of chums.

The BeignetBoy ensemble (a "high wire" circus trapeze act from New Orleans) are the first to be recognised and hugs and kisses are imparted and delivered with tenderness and true affection: the kind that exists between all blessed SD chums.

They both look great and we are bound to be dining with them, hopefully.

This very evening in fact!

Cant wait.

Cant wait to hear the secret of their age defying appearances.

If they have foregone the elixir of life (booze), Hum will walk!

Hum cannot abide that kind of crazy talk!

We now have had dinner together and it was truly enjoyable and whatever is working for them does involve the delights of moderate wine consumption.

A friendship deepened. Hum & Blondie were both fascinated by this amazing couple.

 

We board. Greeted by a relaxed and happy crew who again feign delight in seeing us with quite a credible performance (well as far as Hum is concerned at least: Blondie is loved by all).

 

The Captain lifts Blondie in a hug but declines Hum's readiness for a similar welcome. True Hum may have put on a couple of pounds but the rejection is coped with quite well considering all things as well as Hum's low ebb.

He tells us that there are 82 onboard amongst which are 62 children. This reported sentence is un-deserving of an exclamation mark at the end because he is the world's worst practical joker alongside his other ability (or lack thereof) to "upsell" the Transatlantic crossing, as he had been doing, ad nauseam at every opportunity during his Caribbean tour of duty on orders from "Oslip".

 

We discover there are just 19 real passengers (including ourselves).

19!!!!

Great job Captain. Haha

Hope he wasn't relying on commission from sales.

There is also a lecturer with wife, two contractors (cant see any ladders), the Executive chef and a "head honcho" from "Oslow, Noway".

 

And what "dregs" of society the other passengers are too ('ceptin the BeignetBoys and yours truly.........and yes of course Blondie too).

What a "shower"......Hum also picks up sleazy undertones.

Something "of the night" about them.

Wouldn't want to meet this lot in a dark alley, if you get Hum's shrift.

Note to self: double lock cabin door, dont carry cash and tell B not to wear any jewellery.

 

The crew, au contraire are wonderful.

Much hugging ensues.

A SD welcome is like no other, agreed?

 

But that is not the whole story.

We meet up with the icon of SD himself and his gorgeous lady together with their chums celebrating a birthday in wonderful PR (hope to God they haven't read the previous post about PR being equated to hell)!

They are at the TOYB visiting the ship, crew and chums.

SD have put on a truly lovely reception for them too with caviar, cake and champagne with chums (the 4 Cs): a truly generous and lovely touch by this amazing ship crew.

Everybody enjoys the gift and the "feel good" factor is off the charts and we haven't even left "wonderful" PR (yes Hum is such a fraud).

Even the other passengers seem transformed by this loving and beautiful act from SD and the crew too are "feeling the love".

Only on this boat.

This is so special.

 

Having precious time with one of our closest, dearest chums who have been sailing SD and SG since they were teenagers (her not him, definitely not him) and have become much loved and respected icons amongst other passengers and all the crew and shoreside management, it was wonderful. The time flew by and then they were gone but with actual dates arranged for a crossing together! They had also very kindly left a very nice gift behind in our cabin with a hand written card. We were both very touched by this act of loving kindness.

Heck ! must email them to thank them! But you dearest chums will always come first.

 

Our departure is put back an hour: 2 precious passengers are missing and there is no way of contacting them and they have not contacted SD either.

Finally we have to leave without them!

How awful for them.

Still they will have the delights of PR and they could do an island tour with our "man of God" taxi driver!!!

 

Blondie offers a possible chilling reason.

Our travel itinerary from "No-way" stated boarding was in St.Thomas!

Had they gone there?

Why doesn't "Oslow" request mobile phone numbers or the numbers to be used whilst travelling to enable SD to contact passengers.

Regular SMS updates would be helpful to impart important travel info, promotions, etc...

Good idea?

Yes a great one Hum.

Will the mandarins of "Oslosh" do anything?

Hahaha......

 

Lifeboat drill for passengers comprised of Blondie nattering incessantly to two ladies about her high heel shoes! Yes she wore high heels to the drill!

Sssh Blondie, pay attention!

Hum was reprimanded for telling her off as she explained that she was only trying to explain to the two lady passengers where she got the shoes from.

The CO's eye catches Hum reprimanding Blondie telling her that when we do actually hit an iceberg and begin abandoning ship maybe she could resume the conversation then!

Hum is told to attend to the briefing.

Oh the ruddy injustice of it all.

Hum, still wearing his life-jacket and taking Blondie's as she totters around in heels, chatting away to all and sundry and totally oblivious to her belt dragging over the floor which could cause her to trip, descends the stairs and completely misses the step and rolls all the way down the stairs (obscured from view by the worn jacket you see)!!

Hum carefully checks his frame for breakages and discovering none and the movement of parts, gently arises to his feet.

A few bruises will be coming as well as some stiffness no doubt but Hum is lucky, damn lucky!

Fortunately Hum's well padded frame has absorbed the worst of it all.

A lesson for us all.

Fat saves!

Well this time it did.

So a bony fit thing would be being carted off to A&E by now! Bones broken, smashed...not Hum, well padded Hum with built-in air bags (mostly filled with hot air).

 

The evening Club Director's "spiel" is the most chaotic, simply because everybody chips in with things to do after the passengers are requested what would they like to do.

Hum will not be doing any activities.

Well not quite true if eating, sleeping, drinking count!

Very soon after, we go for dinner; just the two of us.

The grilled turbot was divine.

Hum went to bed very soon after.

 

The sea conditions are miraculously so even with a few swells offering some wonderful gentle movements.

The weather is divine.

Bright and warm verging on hot.

Hum and Blondie go back to bed after breakfast!

We awake at noon to be told by the Captain talking over the tannoy that it has been changed to 1.00pm.

 

Last night Hum suffered a terrible shock!

Hum asks Frank for his usual (an in-expensive) bottle of great Chablis to accompany the poisson.

No, there is none, you drank the last 18 bottles!

Frank!!!

A feeble litany of excuses is proffered by our sommelier but Hum is inconsolable! Hum has been let down and Frank knows it.

 

Now talking of wine.

At lunchtime today, Hum enters the dining deck and for the very first time there is a beautiful display of two Provencal rose wines on a table in the centre of the deck at the bargain prices of 30 & 36 dollars a bottle!!!!

And in direct eye line sitting beyond are the Executive Chef and "head honcho" from "Nowayland". A devious and cunning trap had been sent and Hum celebrated this artful playful ploy.

Maybe "Oslop" had been listening to Hum's perennial complaint of there being no low priced Provencal rose wine. Naturally Hum orders a couple of bottles, just as well, the Club Director who drops in for lunch consumes most of it!!!

And somehow purloins Hum's own lunch too!!!

Never mind, wechat, catch up, he is candid, we laugh a lot.

Hum thinks life may be getting better.

 

There are 40-80 onboard SDI (Hum hears different figures all the time).

Sadly no reports from passengers, no SD blog. Hum is disgusted by their insularity.

They are mostly Brits and Europeans. Barbados is easier you see. Blondie says, maybe "Oslosh" should think of coming out of Barbados too if they sail on different dates.

Maybe you should tell them Blondie.

Would they listen?

Haha

But then after 4 years they did get a reasonably priced rose and the "head honcho" did say they were considering changing the wine list!!!

 

All through the trip and dont forget it hasn't even been a day, crew have been asking about the Crystal Esprit....and yes they have all read Hum's report and know who Hum is!!!

Cover blown.

A few playful and humorous jibes come Hum's way from crew for sailing Crystal Esprit.

 

Breaking News: the couple who missed the boat never left their home country! The guy (of the couple) had "gone in" for some minor surgery and simply failed to cancel the voyage!

What was the surgery for?

A lobotomy?

The frigging idiot.

Causing the Captain to fret un-necessarily too as well as cause the Purser to frantically phone around also!!

[Jim Avery]

Good start Ho! Thanks for taking the time. Did you infer AB is sailing with you? You lucky boy you.

[popper]

Don't we all know who Hum is? Will there be more crossing dance-party pics...?

Hopefully Frank was able to console you with one of his fabulous jokes.....

[Poppy1966]

Hello Ho Hum & Blondie

I've quite a few weeks/months of idle jottings to catch up on. Can't wait. Just read the last few posts but I will catch up on all soon. Have a wonderful trip as always. Bet it will be fabulous.

Another 2-3 weeks of builders here, Dotty's home (Fri) at last YEAH!!, HRH is coming over soon so hopefully I'll get a Break away soon. Saw a SD cruise, 30 May, only 5 nights, fly in and out of Nice from Dub. Maybe book that for a belated biggish birthday coming up soon. Who knows??

Enjoy your break, food,wine, company etc.

Just make sure if you're in one of those spinning cabin/suites , you must insist they move you move to a non spinning one!!😜

Enjoy. Lucky you. Ali

[ho-hum]

After a tumultuous writing career spent in the limelight of fabulousness and fame, he turns to make his exit, the spotlight holds a few seconds on his noble profile, the touseled golden locks appear as a halo, justified by his glory , but then slowly the stage dims to black....

 

The applause is truly heard around the globe, his international club of devotees and fans rises at once to its collective feet in a thunderous Crescendo of Encore! and Bravo Maestro!

 

And once in the comparative quiet of the wings, he hears a voice, "Come on Doris, get back out on stage and give em what they want........it is your duty to mankind"

 

And what will you do with yourself when you wake in the middle of the night?

 

Seriously Ho, what will be the point of waking up tomorrow morning if there is no HoHummery to read ever again?

 

Haha

Your poetic "turn of phrase" has always been so much better than Hum's, your restraint in posting here is far worse a "crime" than Hum's "foot off the pedal".

How we have been so deprived!

By you dearest dear.

Many will never fully know but Hum knows, having enjoyed your mails and conversations more than most and they are truly, treasured jewels of wit, elegance and wry observation.

From your snow capped, loftier peek (so to speak), as you look down below onto the squalid valley of Humland, no wonder you pronounced "......idle jottings" as "drivel" even going so far as to also amusingly and derogatorily to call them "droppings".

Hum concedes without reservation to the true Master.

 

It was also you whom Hum was so "warmed" by to think Hum was "with you" at the un-Godly hour you wake wandering into your gorgeous kitchen with views over the "settlement" with a pair of "moggies" entwining themselves around your slippered feet (moccasins no doubt) as you prepare yourself a coffee and then take a quiet moment for yourself before changing into "high viz", outdoor weather ware, as you await the timber truck, as it pulls up outside your cabin, to whisk you away for a days "logging" with the rest of the butch boyos with your sandwich tin by your side containing a pink chequered cloth to layout the vol au-vents Ma Commander prepared the night before along with your finger sandwiches and crudites, as well as a flask of Earl Grey tea and cellophane wrapped lemon slices which the rough boyos so tease you about.

 

But dearest chum, a shift has occurred within Hum so that the "chuckle nuggets" are harder to discover let alone mine and then bring to the surface for selecting and presentation to you and other chums.

The affection for you and other dear chums burns no less, maybe even brighter as the words are not so readily at hand with which to present them here for your scrutiny, amusement, whatever.

 

Hum wakes at the time you rightly say and this is being penned at those times fresh for your trip to the kitchen where it will await you as if it were a lovely, freshly baked, plump, croissant to accompany your brewed coffee (Sumatra blend, Hum's guessing judging your exotic style of character).

Hum's heart still beats and it "sings" to you as we have been the greatest of chums.

But without an "object of affection" like your good self to focus and concentrate upon, the mind remains quiet and there is little to entice Hum to jot.

Silence is simply a more a complete experience (or should be that a non-experience but this is no time to debate such ethereal spiritual subject matter).

 

It is as if the potential, surveyed, subject matter "out there" has dissolved from sharp angularity with solid, discernible edges to a pastiche of floating, overlain, muted colours which whilst giving impressions of objects also reveal their empty or insubstantial, intrinsic nature more so.

It is as if Hum were "regressing" (only in the strict sense of the word in art history terms) from "Cubism" to the "Impressionist" period (sans the passion of a Vincent).

 

Mark Rothko is Hum's favourite artist and these resolute "slabs" of plain colours give the sense of how Hum "peers out" onto life from silence and stillness.

True there is an occasional "splash" and a few "jottings" are produced but they are not of the same character that you and dear chums have grown accustomed to and purveyed with loftier minds.

 

If dear chums can bear to "stomach" a more mature contribution then there may be a case for jotting a few lines but the adolescent, hyperbole and "gushings" has seemed to have declined so to a precious trickle of less entertaining fare.

Maybe the rose tinted glasses have fallen from Hum's eyes and a clearer reality is now being viewed completely un-filtered.

 

But apart from this turgid, self-obsessed, drivel, Hum "dont have much to a say" unless prompted these days by dear chums or events (somewhat related to SD, however tenuous and sometimes downright completely nought to do with sailing or conventional reality come to that!).

Maybe Hum is entering his "Proustian" period.

In his quiet and self-reflectiveness maybe there is a "A la recherche du temps perdu" volume 8 ("Remembrance of things past") in him or perhaps a Wordsworth style suits Hum better, such as:

 

"For oft, when on my couch I lie

In vacant or in pensive mood,

They flash upon that inward eye

Which is the bliss of solitude;

And then my heart with pleasure fills,

And dances with the daffodils"

From, "I wandered lonely as a cloud" William Wordsworth, 1770-1850

(Our house was originally built in 1762...one reason for Hum also loving this poem)

 

Or maybe Hum could pen some austere haiku like:

 

Looking back;

Now each other

Being in the snow

From Tan Taigi, 1709-1771

 

So it is not Hum denying you and dear chums something that Hum has an abundance of, nay, the "factory" is simply not producing brightly coloured, "drivel drops" this season, darling.

Can't get the material, cant get the staff.

And maybe, heaven forbid, there may not even be the demand for drivel!

Maybe Hum will have to out-source to China.

Surely there are thousands of Ho Hums in Chinaland and who are more relevant to the kids of today.

Unfortunately there is a quality control issue out there.

The noble days of China, the Ming dynasty, Confucius, Lao Tzu, are long gone and now they are simply pre-occupied with feeding our insatiable gluttonous consumerist appetite for more and more crepes.

 

The "writing is on the wall" and it says "there is no writing on Hum's wall or anywhere else"

Here declineth the jottings.

Yes a few splutterings but they are the "death rattle" of a man who is on his way out, out of step with the common people (extremely common in most instances) and who is now derided for feeding them such un-nourishing fare.

Pulp fiction.

There is a hostile mood amongst the mob gathering outside the high walls of Ho Hum Castle. Lord Hum cannot even trust his once most loyal lieutenants.

And with the forthcoming TV film.

Hum and Blondie will be hounded just as the Fillipino Marcos's, the Shah of Persia and Russia's royal elite!

 

Sincerest of apologies for alluding to you as the content of a "big girls blouse" the other day.

Hum was at a low point, vexed and felt rebuked by your good self for Hum's truly benevolent assistance in attempting to assist you in matters of technology.

Hum hadn't accounted how hard it would be.

On the outside, you do indeed have a much superior intelligence and refinement unfortunately it does not extend to basic technology.

No matter.

Til we meet again "dearest of dears" (your phrasing).

 

You may have discerned that this may have been penned a few weeks ago.

You would be correct.

Hum has thought of you very often and jotted a few thoughts to send.

But events of travel and boarding were of more import to post to other dearests.

And you are deserving of a proper pist (intentional).

 

Soon the clamour will be "Shut up Hum!"

 

At the moment Hum cant ruddy stop! A new seam has been discovered. Yes poorer quality, Hum admits but you can't be too choosy these days, can you?

"Fill yer boots" is Hum's advice for silence always beckons.

 

On this special day when we have reached 190K, Hum would like to dedicate this post to the "dearest of dears" himself, Abenaki.

[ho-hum]

Seas: Mderate North Swell, 3-6 feet

Temperature: 75C

Sunny, partially cloudy

Sunrise: 06.28

Sunset: 19.09

[muddleaged]

Seas: Mderate North Swell, 3-6 feet

Temperature: 75C

 

I hope you mean 75ºF. . . Or are you sharing the soup temperature?

[Zimmy]

Seas: Mderate North Swell, 3-6 feet

Temperature: 75C

Sunny, partially cloudy

Sunrise: 06.28

Sunset: 19.09

 

Oh the photo looks so wonderful. I can barely wait the three weeks until we're onboard. I'm ready now. I hope that you and Blondie have the best, best time.

[abenaki]

Dearest of Dears, indeed

 

So touched I was that I took the day off to be with you both.

 

Darling Hum, I do hope that you are strong enough to pen your always much anticipated onboard fashion report as the days pass. Spare no barb, if you must...

[ho-hum]

Hello Ho Hum & Blondie

I've quite a few weeks/months of idle jottings to catch up on. Can't wait. Just read the last few posts but I will catch up on all soon. Have a wonderful trip as always. Bet it will be fabulous.

Another 2-3 weeks of builders here, Dotty's home (Fri) at last YEAH!!, HRH is coming over soon so hopefully I'll get a Break away soon. Saw a SD cruise, 30 May, only 5 nights, fly in and out of Nice from Dub. Maybe book that for a belated biggish birthday coming up soon. Who knows??

Enjoy your break, food,wine, company etc.

Just make sure if you're in one of those spinning cabin/suites , you must insist they move you move to a non spinning one!!😜

Enjoy. Lucky you. Ali

 

Been thinking of you Poppy.

Knew you had your "hands full"!

Didn't want to intrude.

You have quite a bit to catch up on my love........it's been quite a time with us also!

Being on SD is so needed.

Glad there are so few actually, time for much needed rest, time with Blondie (who has been "in the wars") and time with our darling and respected crew chums.

"Oh the larks"! we are having with them and they have the time too.

Food has been fabulous.

We wont talk about the wines!

Frank's in the "dog house" for running out of Chablis.

He has the cheek to blame Hum!

And Hum sent a wine back last night.

Slightly "corked" and at 115 dollars a "pop" and considering how much Hum "glugs" there was no alternative.

Frank fully agreed, mercifully.

Finally they sorted out the "spinning" ceilings!

The Polish contractors up ladders exposing their huge backsides must have nailed them down at the same time they were replacing the fire extinguisher sprinkler heads.

Flashbacks of walking into a pair still haunt Hum.

Please take that break!

5 days only and it's door to door for you and something to "keep you goin'"

If you dont go then consider BEL - LGW for a few nights in "Poshland".

Great food, great wine, great company (much cheaper too but guests have complained of "spinning ceilings" at ours too!!).

[ho-hum]

. Don't we all know who Hum is?

 

Are you still talking about the film popper?. If so.

 

It is sure is getting that way dear (that most know whom Hum is).

All SD personnel know whether on land or the two ships.

The fact is, Hum doesn't understand it himself why he is reticent in "coming out".

Ask yourself truly.

Would you appear on TV in front of "hundreds" (think again on that number by the way!).

 

Maybe after seeing the preview, his view will change.

It is ready for Hum and Blondie on our return.

Yikes!

If it's truly awful, then absolutely not, we will not tell anybody (accept "one or two" vintage chums and those that were onboard during filming).

If it's OK, then maybe.

If it's brilliant, then how could chums be denied seeing this Adonis?

 

But really do the "silent majority" of viewers really care about the silly old film concerning Sea Dream?

Of course not.

Their perception of Hum would forever be damaged.

"Is that Hum? Heck it looks like Jabbah-the-Hutt!"

 

Will there be more crossing dance-party pics

...?

 

17 other guests just doesn't make a party voyage popper besides Blondie and Hum need rest after the last few months of "trials".

Though Blondie and Hum did have a "bop" with the bar boys yesterday morning to some "House-Lounge" music and 8 of the crew doing a "drill" joined in (whilst in life-jackets! Very strange!).

It was fun.

 

.Hopefully Frank was able to console you with one of his fabulous jokes.....

 

Oh he had a great one, unfortunately not one suitable for posting!

[ho-hum]

I hope you mean 75ºF. . . Or are you sharing the soup temperature?

 

Haha

Well spotted muddleaged.

You win this weeks star prize.

"A free rummage (whilst blindfolded) for 10 seconds around the ship's "Lost & Found" box"

Slim pickins' on this voyage tho' (how can anyone lose a "toupee"? Aah...Jim! Found it!).

[ho-hum]

Oh the photo looks so wonderful. I can barely wait the three weeks until we're onboard. I'm ready now. I hope that you and Blondie have the best, best time.

 

We will try darling, we will try but without you two gorgeous, knowledgeable and funny people, it will be a struggle.

Our portable shrine to you both is set up and we summon the "Spirit of Zimmy" to enter our otherwise shallow and sinful lives.

Love to ya both.

HH&Bx

[ctbjr1309]

Food has been fabulous. We wont talk about the wines! .

 

Well, that's all well and good but how is the beer? Hopefully, the supply of Red Stripe hasn't been totally depleted. Oh, and the Presidente? That's right a different story all together. Cheers and carry on!

[Jim Avery]

Well, that's all well and good but how is the beer? Hopefully, the supply of Red Stripe hasn't been totally depleted. Oh, and the Presidente? That's right a different story all together. Cheers and carry on!

 

 

You are right on with the Presidente beer. We have imbibed Presidente brandy for years and drink the beer whenever we see it available. Speaking of beer :eek:, now that the former "Most Interesting Man In The World" is on a one way mission to Mars, word has it that he is being replaced with Ho-Hum. :eek: That should really help Dos Eqis sales.:D