.......idle jottings

[MACT]

 

What's down your sofa ?

Hum is declaring today: "Look down your sofa Day"

 

I found God...no, really...in the form of a readable sized font, the very one you are reading here. I see Mr Hum found it too thankfully, along with a "cotton thread"? Come come sir, do you have a liking to a little deviant sewing on the side? Keep it quiet folks, imagine if the tabloid rags got hold of this revelation.

[ctbjr1309]

 

Yes, the contents from deep within the crevices of the sofa Hum usually favours when imbibing, are all yours TrapperZ !

It comprises of:

 

- 4 beer tops

 

Presidente, I trust.....

[TrapperZimmy]

Yes, the contents from deep within the crevices of the sofa Hum usually favours when imbibing, are all yours TrapperZ !

 

Please arrange pre-paid collection (excluding decanter top) from Hum House, Poshland, County of Posh, Great Britain.

 

Yes, Hum, I am very excited about receiving these valuables. (I had to look up "biros" to find out how truly valuable they are.) I have dispatched a friend from the American Embassy to drive out to pick up the goodies. Ernest will be flying back the the States in a couple of days as the result of being declared persona non grata by the Foreign Office. Something about a peculiar incident at the Savoy involving a chambermaid, a live lobster and a g-string. I don't have the details, but hope to get them when he arrives with my gift. (Ernest is a bit of a tippler, so if you have a couple of bottles of Slivovitz on the shelf, he might spill the beans to you, Hum.) I gave him your address and he said I shouldn't worry because he has GPS on his Vespa. He promised to put everything in a diplomatic pouch so it would get through customs without inspection. That's a good thing. I'd hate to have to pay duty on all of this.

[ho-hum]

Yes, Hum, I am very excited about receiving these valuables. (I had to look up "biros" to find out how truly valuable they are.) I have dispatched a friend from the American Embassy to drive out to pick up the goodies. Ernest will be flying back the the States in a couple of days as the result of being declared persona non grata by the Foreign Office. Something about a peculiar incident at the Savoy involving a chambermaid, a live lobster and a g-string. I don't have the details, but hope to get them when he arrives with my gift. (Ernest is a bit of a tippler, so if you have a couple of bottles of Slivovitz on the shelf, he might spill the beans to you, Hum.) I gave him your address and he said I shouldn't worry because he has GPS on his Vespa. He promised to put everything in a diplomatic pouch so it would get through customs without inspection. That's a good thing. I'd hate to have to pay duty on all of this.

 

Haha

Brilliant, brilliant stuff !

Laughed all the way........to wherever you laugh all the way too.

Great job TrapperZ, great job.

What a fertile imagination.

And if proof were needed...."pot" can cause minor brain damage !!

Hahaha

 

Of course this slur on TZ's good name is immediately withdrawn.

No such proof exists.

He is always most polite and aware during our wonderful encounters.

He was un-fairly "used" to gain a cheap laugh (yes, of course Hum is going to keep it in !).

Edited September 7, 2016 by ho-hum

[TrapperZimmy]

It may have been a "cheap laugh" for you, Ho-Hum, but once Zimmy sees how I spent the morning, I will pay dearly. But then she will figure out how to get billable hours out of it.

[ho-hum]

It may have been a "cheap laugh" for you, Ho-Hum, but once Zimmy sees how I spent the morning, I will pay dearly. But then she will figure out how to get billable hours out of it.

 

Haha

Your post read as a spontaneous out-pouring.

25 seconds tops !

Genius of course but is it really "billable" ?

Naaah !

More.

More.

More, please.

[TrapperZimmy]

You must be fortunate not to have much experience with solicitors. Twenty-five seconds translates to a one-hour bill. Since this is my third today, I have almost half a day's billing accrued so far.

[TrapperZimmy]

The Fates are smiling upon me. It appears that I will be able to bill Ernest for all of this. He just called and asked me to represent him in the litigation brought by the Savoy and his counter-suit for slander. Apparently, the Savoy had told the Foreign Office that he had killed the lobster (the heinous offense of crustaceacide). I believe the lobster was still alive, ergo the seriousness of the incident with the chambermaid. The Savoy claims they found drawn butter in the room, but Ernest insists it was not for the lobster.

 

I guess I will have to have my peruke sent out to be cleaned and powdered. It has been sitting in our toucans' cage, and they occasionally use it as a nest. Anyway, they seem to have chilled toward each other. He apparently had demonstrated to her that one can be just as happy as toucan.

[ho-hum]

The Fates are smiling upon me. It appears that I will be able to bill Ernest for all of this. He just called and asked me to represent him in the litigation brought by the Savoy and his counter-suit for slander. Apparently, the Savoy had told the Foreign Office that he had killed the lobster (the heinous offense of crustaceacide). I believe the lobster was still alive, ergo the seriousness of the incident with the chambermaid. The Savoy claims they found drawn butter in the room, but Ernest insists it was not for the lobster.

 

I guess I will have to have my peruke sent out to be cleaned and powdered. It has been sitting in our toucans' cage, and they occasionally use it as a nest. Anyway, they seem to have chilled toward each other. He apparently had demonstrated to her that one can be just as happy as toucan.

 

Genius !

Hum shall make way for the Master, known as TrapperZ.

Haha

[Jim Avery]

And you say Tequila makes me weird??:eek::D

[ho-hum]

And you say Tequila makes me weird??:eek::D

 

No..........just more weird !

Haha

In a nice way.

 

So ya reckon TZ's been on the "weed" then Jim ?

Take another look at his photo.

Does that look like a member of any lawyer firm ?

Maybe the law firm of : Tune in, turn on and drop out !

Edited September 7, 2016 by ho-hum

[Jim Avery]

No..........just more weird !

Haha

In a nice way.

 

So ya reckon TZ's been on the "weed" then Jim ?

Take another look at his photo.

Does that look like a member of any lawyer firm ?

Maybe the law firm of : Tune in, turn on and drop out !

 

Farr, Oute, and Grewvy, LLC. Trapper has my hair in the photo. Yes, let it grow and it is that curly. But white.....Or is it gray???? Only my hairdresser knows for sure. BTW, Arizona is voting on the weed issue on Election Day. What a possible day! Mr. T and Weed! Roll Tide for sure!!!!:D

[TrapperZimmy]

You guys talking about me? Please show some respect. It is true that I have never passed a bar - - - that had a door open. It is now 4:15 pm here so I only have five minutes to get everything done for the day. Time to roll, but not tide.

[ho-hum]

I found God...no, really...in the form of a readable sized font, the very one you are reading here. I see Mr Hum found it too thankfully, along with a "cotton thread"? Come come sir, do you have a liking to a little deviant sewing on the side? Keep it quiet folks, imagine if the tabloid rags got hold of this revelation.

 

You found god down the back of the sofa !!!

No wonder Hum never hear’s a ruddy thing from him !!

Been lookin’ in totally the wrong place !

Sure he was up there.

And all the time he was down there.

Well you never.

Suppose being Omnipresent allows you to choose anywhere but Hum’s sofa ?

Gotta be better places.

He has such a choice when you think about it.

Yes, Omnipresence means everywhere, Hum gets it.

 

Oh the font, the font !!

You’re talking about the ruddy font !

Yes Hum sees BUT here is another discovery on Hum’s “steam generated Amstrad computer circa 1973” (you canna beat the old and reliable models) the font is as Hum intended, clear and bright and a bit “swish” but on the tablet, oh what a difference.

It changed.

Twas a miracle.

Now funny thing, Hum was jotting away with glass in hand when composing the previous opus on the very sofa !

You don’t think.

Naahhh !

It wasn’t “HE”

Being a bit impish.

 

Seriously MACT, you think Hum is at all worried about a “cotton thread” being found ?

Who said it was Hum’s ?

Maybe the “little woman’s” (hope she is out of “ear shot” when Hum says that !!).

Nay, recall just a few weeks ago, the talk was of Hums un-proven, alleged cross-dressing.

All lies, lies and damnable lies of course.

 

So this allegation is a breeze, old chum.

Says “Teflon Hum”.

 

*under the terms of posting, Hum wishes to make it clear that he is not endorsing any particular brand of non-stick coating for kitchen utensils (just so we are clear). Although if un-scrupulous representatives of commercial companies do wish Hum to promote products, services etc.. in a subtle way, kindly make contact with your proposals to discuss remuneration. Hum has no scruples so Hum will “slide in” a reference to just about anything !!

[Jim Avery]

Mr. Hum, no endorsement negotiations for cookware coatings as I must remind you of your commitment to endorse my Tequila. I know we still have a few points to work out but hey, first come first served right? I was thinking about the name. As you know there is a Ho Road and Hum Road in nearby Carefree, AZ so, in a burst of inspiration (or some other noisy event) I present "Ho Hum's Carefree Tequila" for your consideration. A new batch is nearing ready so let me know what you think.

[ho-hum]

Mr. Hum, no endorsement negotiations for cookware coatings as I must remind you of your commitment to endorse my Tequila. I know we still have a few points to work out but hey, first come first served right? I was thinking about the name. As you know there is a Ho Road and Hum Road in nearby Carefree, AZ so, in a burst of inspiration (or some other noisy event) I present "Ho Hum's Carefree Tequila" for your consideration. A new batch is nearing ready so let me know what you think.

 

“Ho Hum's Carefree Tequila" !!!!

Really ?

It is not possible to make the brand sound more GAY !

“carefree”…..skipping and jumping amongst the meadow flowers !

Besides it should be about you.

“The Man”

 

No, no, no.

It won’t do at all.

Here is a name for consideration.

It has to sound good.

It has to have a feel.

It has to be cool, hip….

So ecoutez-moi, cher Jim.

You have a still out back.

Illegal.

It has to be real.

It has to be downright American.

And sexxxxxxiiiii

Of course.

A re-invention of an old classic term used by “Muddy Waters”

You make “hooch”

You are the “man”.

Your brand should be called:

‘hoochie koochie”

 

And this is the sound in the back of the commercial:

 

[YOUTUBE]ngAoB5Ja2yc[/YOUTUBE]

 

Hum admits, Mick does look a little “camp” but most of us Brits do !!

 

Hey even better idea !!

You could play "Muddy Waters", Hum..."Mick" naturally, Trapper Z as "Keef" (no not just because he smoked a lot of weed.....oh alright because he smoked a lot of......ALLEGEDLY !).

 

 

HEY AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING STILL UP !!!

Edited September 9, 2016 by ho-hum

[Jim Avery]

So you noticed even with the time zones. I had a spine "procedure" yesterday and I am one of those strange people that pain pills keeps awake. Most get drowsy. Not here. Maybe weed would help?? Not sure about Muddy Waters associated with fine Tequila. Sort of like replacing the worm with a roach.:eek: Clarity is for what we strive. Well, that and high proof levels.

[ho-hum]

So you noticed even with the time zones. I had a spine "procedure" yesterday and I am one of those strange people that pain pills keeps awake. Most get drowsy. Not here. Maybe weed would help?? Not sure about Muddy Waters associated with fine Tequila. Sort of like replacing the worm with a roach.:eek: Clarity is for what we strive. Well, that and high proof levels.

 

 

Ahhh yes of course...you mentioned it a while ago.

What can one say old chum.

The usual stuff.

But really, really, really, we wish you all the best and a speedy recovery.

Take it easy...."take it ezzzeeeeee, don't let the sounds of your own wheels drive you crazy" (brilliant line).

 

“standin’ on a corner in Winslow, Arizona” …. not THAT far from you

 

Don’t think your an Eagles fan bet Millie is perhaps the Contessa too, of course they would both be FAR too young first time round………(think Hum gotta way with that one).

 

Happy Friday and the weekend !!!

 

SD chums visiting for a drinky-poo in an hour !!!

 

 

[YOUTUBE]mSScV6Rt_6s[/YOUTUBE]

[Jim Avery]

Big Eagles fan. Stood on the Corner......got the T shirt. A nice hotel a block or two away, La Posada. A restored Harvey House Hotel at the train tracks. Used to be where all the Swells caught the train. About all there is to do/see in Winslow.

[MillieRyan08]

Ahhh yes of course...you mentioned it a while ago.

What can one say old chum.

The usual stuff.

But really, really, really, we wish you all the best and a speedy recovery.

Take it easy...."take it ezzzeeeeee, don't let the sounds of your own wheels drive you crazy" (brilliant line).

 

“standin’ on a corner in Winslow, Arizona” …. not THAT far from you

 

Don’t think your an Eagles fan bet Millie is perhaps the Contessa too, of course they would both be FAR too young first time round………(think Hum gotta way with that one).

 

Happy Friday and the weekend !!! QUOTE]

 

Well I do like the song Take it Easy but I'm actually a Rolling Stones fan and Black Eyed Peas are pretty darn good as well, well when they were together.

Yes Hum you got away with it........just.

Now you'all have a great weekend.

 

Cheers, Millie

[TrulyBlonde]

EAGLES!...Glenn Frye from the town I was born...he belonged to my CC in CO and had a lovely wife. You did not know Contessa was a golfer did you? Neil Young would drop on by for a round occasionally. Many more stories to tell ;-)

 

This lady has many crystal and silver trophies and because she was kinda cute and a 7 handicap, many requests were made to play with her or buy her a drink.

 

Oh...the stories Hum...

[Jim Avery]

250 pages.....5,000 replies.......Congrats Mr. Hum on Idle Jottings.:D

[ho-hum]

250 pages.....5,000 replies.......Congrats Mr. Hum on Idle Jottings.:D

 

Cheers Jim.

A joint milestone.

Now get well soon.

[ho-hum]

EAGLES!...Glenn Frye from the town I was born...he belonged to my CC in CO and had a lovely wife. You did not know Contessa was a golfer did you? Neil Young would drop on by for a round occasionally. Many more stories to tell ;-)

 

This lady has many crystal and silver trophies and because she was kinda cute and a 7 handicap, many requests were made to play with her or buy her a drink.

 

Oh...the stories Hum...

 

Holy moley !

Awe struck !

[Jim Avery]

Holy moley !

Awe struck !

 

Yet another reason for Mr. Hum to organize a SeaDream Charter Invitational for all his chums.....