Just Asking!

[Dame Delilah]

We have done many cruises and have just finished three on three different cruise lines!

 

I love cruising and really enjoy large tables and meeting new folks. BUT--I am so sick of folks trying to one-up each other! No matter what someone has done, they have done it better!

 

I enjoy hearing of other folks' adventurer, but I am sick to death of people who just want to do one better!

 

Any suggestions for this feeling? Have you just switched to tables for 2?

 

(I Plan to post this on all three of our last cruise lines.)

[Norfolk Brit]

We have done many cruises and have just finished three on three different cruise lines!

 

I love cruising and really enjoy large tables and meeting new folks. BUT--I am so sick of folks trying to one-up each other! No matter what someone has done, they have done it better!

 

I enjoy hearing of other folks' adventurer, but I am sick to death of people who just want to do one better!

 

Any suggestions for this feeling? Have you just switched to tables for 2?

 

(I Plan to post this on all three of our last cruise lines.)

 

After countless cruises (I've just finished four on four different lines!), this has never happened to me. Perhaps you have been unlucky.

 

Sir Martin

Edited May 27, 2014 by Norfolk Brit

[jimmybean]

Creating companionable mealtime conversations with a group of strangers can be a challenge. Fortunately, for DH and me, all of our shipboard dining tables have been acceptable and most have been positive experiences...

 

DH and I ate next to a delightful German couple on the Equinox (MDR) coming over. "She" didn't speak English with much confidence, but "he" translated and we all laughed as we shared bits and pieces about our days and activities during the voyage.

 

On the QM2 (Britannia), going home, we were the only Americans at a table with British and Irish passengers. Everyone had a great sense of humor, so there was laugher every evening, there, too.

 

Maybe, we were just lucky.

 

Certainly, there wasn't any one-up-man-ship at our table on either ship…

 

I hope you won't give up ship travel, Dame, but I understand you are feeling discouraged…

 

…Could you add some levity to situations when you feel discussions need some defusing? Or, dig deeper with questions to uncover other, more endearing traits of your table mates?

 

Honestly, on many ships, the tables for two are so close, people next to you will engage you in conversation anyway… I'm not sure that would give you isolation or be a true buffer…

[Salacia]

Yikes! How hard can it be...sit down, have a nice meal, exchange pleasant conversation. It is neither an exercise in psychoanalysis (no need to dig deeper), nor is a talent show. If someone voices opinions that you find unacceptable, then request a change of table rather that argue. Seems simple to me. -S.

[Salacia]

After countless cruises (I've just finished four on four different lines!), this has never happened to me. Perhaps you have been unlucky.

 

Sir Martin

 

 

Oh sure, there you go again, one-upping the rest of us who haven't had countless cruises! Sorry couldn't resist, Sir Martin - but I'm sure you will see the humour. :D Oh and there is also Jimmy Three Breakfasts who brags about having two more breakfasts than the rest of us mere mortals! :D

 

Salacia

[Cruachan]

After countless cruises (I've just finished four on four different lines!), this has never happened to me. Perhaps you have been unlucky.

 

Sir Martin

 

That's NOTHING!! I've just finished six on fourteen different cruise lines and a bus!

 

J

[Salacia]

That's NOTHING!! I've just finished six on fourteen different cruise lines and a bus!

 

J

 

A bus you say? Oh please, stop that bragging!

[jimmybean]

Take credit, Salacia---you are a goddess, not a mere mortal yourself… : )

 

Actually, I had seven breakfasts on the May 9th crossing --- JUST NOT ALL (I kept trying to tell everyone) THE SAME DAY : )

 

One (or more than one) slip of the typewriter, creating lack of clarity, which I may never live down…. Oh, well…

 

I really didn't mean to imply tablemate analysis as dinner pastime--just looking for "good" or commonality or something interesting in people is something I do. But, I'm okay with the concept of superficial (how is the weather in your cabin) conversations as well…

 

And, you are right Salacia, dinner shouldn't be complicated with elaborate strategies regarding "how talk to some other people" for a couple hours…

 

I was going to suggest the Dame drink more Pol Acker before coming to the dining room, but I didn't want to shift the topic to THAT… AGAIN...

[Norfolk Brit]

That's NOTHING!! I've just finished six on fourteen different cruise lines and a bus!

 

J

 

Ah, but did you dine with the bus driver?

 

Sir Martin

[Salacia]

Take credit, Salacia---you are a goddess, not a mere mortal yourself… : )

 

Actually, I had seven breakfasts on the May 9th crossing --- JUST NOT ALL (I kept trying to tell everyone) THE SAME DAY : )

 

One (or more than one) slip of the typewriter, creating lack of clarity, which I may never live down…. Oh, well…

 

I really didn't mean to imply tablemate analysis as dinner pastime--just looking for "good" or commonality or something interesting in people is something I do. But, I'm okay with the concept of superficial (how is the weather in your cabin) conversations as well…

 

And, you are right Salacia, dinner shouldn't be complicated with elaborate strategies regarding "how talk to some other people" for a couple hours…

 

I was going to suggest the Dame drink more Pol Acker before coming to the dining room, but I didn't want to shift the topic to THAT… AGAIN...

 

Just to explain the reference "Jimmy Three Breakfasts": that has been Cruachan's title for years. If you had only one breakfast each day on your voyage, then you are Jimmy One Breakfast. You need to up your game :D

[Salacia]

Ah, but did you dine with the bus driver?

 

Sir Martin

 

The problem with dining with a bus driver is that they always want to shift gears. Plus, they have a very strict dress code.

[MicCanberra]

Funny thread.

I have found that getting on with strangers can be difficult at times however, once they are friends (the second night) things are so much better.:D

[Jules.]

Last year mum and I shared a table for 6 on QE on the first sitting. The evening meal turned out to be the highlight of every day, we all got on like a house on fire. We all keep in contact by letter and email and have visited each other since we returned from the cruise.

 

Mum and I had a table for two on our very first cruise which was on Fred. Olsen, which served us well. When we cruised P and O we had the anytime dining, whatever it is called. I didn't like that one bit, I found it draining making the same small talk every evening with people who were strangers. Perhaps we should have waited for a table for two to become available instead :(

The next time we cruised with Fred my eldest son was with us who was 15 at the time and we had a table for 3 which was fun too. We didn't need to make any small talk or be overly polite with each other ( that's what families are for! ) we just had a lovely evening meal together and had fun.

[Cruachan]

A bus you say? Oh please, stop that bragging!

 

Well, it might have been a train, but who's counting? :cool:

 

J

[bkecky]

We have done many cruises and have just finished three on three different cruise lines!

 

I love cruising and really enjoy large tables and meeting new folks. BUT--I am so sick of folks trying to one-up each other! No matter what someone has done, they have done it better!

 

I enjoy hearing of other folks' adventurer, but I am sick to death of people who just want to do one better!

 

Any suggestions for this feeling? Have you just switched to tables for 2?

 

(I Plan to post this on all three of our last cruise lines.)

 

Thankfully haven't experienced this on a table as we usually dine on a table for just the three of us. But I have experienced it in other areas like at the bar. I tend to just not pander to it and ask someone else present what they like or if they have had any experience with *insert topic*. After a while they should get the message. If it's that bad, I imagine others on your table might be just as irritated and will welcome the diversion. It's a shame if you have to move if you like others on your table but I think if it gets to the point where going to dinner becomes a chore or you start to dread that part of the day, you should move. You don't pay all that money to have someone spoil your experiences. Dinner should be something to look forward to.

Edited May 27, 2014 by bkecky

[Austcruiser84]

We have done many cruises and have just finished three on three different cruise lines!

 

I love cruising and really enjoy large tables and meeting new folks. BUT--I am so sick of folks trying to one-up each other! No matter what someone has done, they have done it better!

 

I enjoy hearing of other folks' adventurer, but I am sick to death of people who just want to do one better!

 

Any suggestions for this feeling? Have you just switched to tables for 2?

 

(I Plan to post this on all three of our last cruise lines.)

 

I only met one couple on QM2 who were like that. It was rather funny how desperate they were to show off. So I didn't mind.

 

Everyone else I met were really normal, down to earth, and fascinating. Some people have lived incredible lives and can tell their stories without being pompous.

 

Sometimes the feeling of one-upmanship can be the fault of the listener rather than the one telling the story.

 

There are those with an inferiority complex.

[MicCanberra]

I only met one couple on QM2 who were like that. It was rather funny how desperate they were to show off. So I didn't mind.

 

Everyone else I met were really normal, down to earth, and fascinating. Some people have lived incredible lives and can tell their stories without being pompous.

 

Sometimes the feeling of one-upmanship can be the fault of the listener rather than the one telling the story.

 

There are those with an inferiority complex.

 

So true, some people are on the defensive and looking for fault in everything right from the start. It can become hard work.:D

[jimmybean]

Just to explain the reference "Jimmy Three Breakfasts": that has been Cruachan's title for years. If you had only one breakfast each day on your voyage, then you are Jimmy One Breakfast. You need to up your game :D

 

How will I ever get to 5,000 posts myself, if I'm required to read countless old posts to understand subtle references (and undertones) of current posts??? I maintain I am a one-breakfast-a-day Cunardist (evidently not a Cunarder) and swear that I didn't realize Cruachan's name is also Jimmy.

 

Small world, Cruachan!

 

Thanks for heads-up, Salacia. Live and learn.

 

I will just have the Pol Acker myself and read how the folks on the Celebrity board responded to the Dame's (similar) post there.

[jimmybean]

We have done many cruises and have just finished three on three different cruise lines!

 

I love cruising and really enjoy large tables and meeting new folks. BUT--I am so sick of folks trying to one-up each other! No matter what someone has done, they have done it better!

 

I enjoy hearing of other folks' adventurer, but I am sick to death of people who just want to do one better!

 

Any suggestions for this feeling? Have you just switched to tables for 2?

 

(I Plan to post this on all three of our last cruise lines.)

 

I have become confused about this thread, Dame Delilah.

 

On May 20th on the Costa board you wrote a very favorable review of your recent Costa cruise, stating "We were seated with delightful tablemates and all were English speakers"

 

Then, on the same Costa board last night you posted a repeat of the message above.

 

So, were your Costa table mates not really "delightful" as you originally posted on May 20th????

 

I noticed reading your identical posting of this thread the other board that people encouraged you to book a table for two. This seemed, at first thought, like "giving up", but maybe, that would be the best, most practical answer.

 

In any case, good luck and happy sailing!

[Norfolk Brit]

I noticed reading your identical posting of this thread the other board that people encouraged you to book a table for two. This seemed, at first thought, like "giving up", but maybe, that would be the best, most practical answer.

 

That's no good - my travelling companion is utterly boring, has not one single fascinating anecdote, and constantly tries to go one better. I have been told that I am similar.

 

Our solution is to book two tables for one.

 

Sir Martin

[3rdGenCunarder]

That's no good - my travelling companion is utterly boring, has not one single fascinating anecdote, and constantly tries to go one better. I have been told that I am similar.

 

Our solution is to book two tables for one.

 

Sir Martin

 

I think a table for one for you is idea, Sir M. Your signature line says it all.

 

BTW, are there cruises on the Sea of Brimstone?

[BlueRiband]

We have done many cruises and have just finished three on three different cruise lines!

 

I love cruising and really enjoy large tables and meeting new folks. BUT--I am so sick of folks trying to one-up each other! No matter what someone has done, they have done it better!

 

I enjoy hearing of other folks' adventurer, but I am sick to death of people who just want to do one better!

 

Any suggestions for this feeling? Have you just switched to tables for 2?

 

(I Plan to post this on all three of our last cruise lines.)

 

So what's your point in posting on multiple boards? Did you just want to unload on your bad luck with table mates? Reassurance that others had the same table mates from hell? Asking permission?

 

You don't need anybody's permission to book a table for two. Just do it and be done with the "one upmanship".

[jimmybean]

 

I understand Dame Delilah posting on three separate boards---she did take three separate cruises with three different cruise lines (if you will forgive my inferring QM2 is a cruise ship).

 

Maybe, three ships in a row were too many ship days without a break and too much of strangers' company, night after night? I find I can get burned-out, by the end of a long time on a ship--if not by tablemates, by people coughing or sneezing around a ship, without covering their mouths… (But, that is another story : )

 

I think it would be very interesting if Dame Delilah wrote more of a review, comparing the three sailing. I would be interested in her thoughts on how each experience compared beyond the dinner tables…

[Camgirl]

I had a nasty experience on our last cruise. We were at a table for 6 for breakfast and everyone seemed friendly until the lady next to me asked what I do (she had already told us she was doing post doctorate research). Without thinking I told her I am a Childminder.

 

From that moment on she completely blanked me and only talked to the other couple on the table. I felt completely humiliated and was very upset.

 

If this had happened in the evening we would have asked to be moved. Luckily we had a fantastic and very interesting evening table.

 

I have never experienced this prejudice before and will be very careful what I say in future.

[DWhit]

Too bad for her. I am sure she missed out on some great conversation.