Some NCL Cruise Humor

[MACE]

Random Cruise Ship Public Announcements:

 

"In about an hour we will be passing Cuba on the Starboard Side of the ship." And then as an afterthought, "If anyone sees an island on the Port Side of the ship, please advise the bridge immediately."

 

 

One the second night of a 7 day cruise, you hear: "If anyone is driving a Red Ford Mini-Van with Florida License BVK-743, you left your lights on @ the NYC Port Parking Garage"

 

 

"Please remember on the last night of the cruise, you must put your suitcases out in the hall before or after you go to sleep"

 

 

"For those who have asked if it is fresh water or salt water in the swimming pools, please note, It's sea water as you can notice how rough it is"

 

 

"Folks, we have reached our cruising speed now, so I am going to switch the Alcohol sign on. Feel free to drink as much as you wish, but please don't jump off your balcony until we dock"

 

 

"Weather at our next port calls for 85 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you or your money, more than NCL

 

 

As the Breakaway ported and was coming to a stop at Nassau a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. Whoa"

 

 

When docking in Nassau: “There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways to disembark this ship."

 

 

"As you disembark, please make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the crew. Please do not leave children or spouses."

 

 

"Last one off the ship must clean it."

 

 

After rough seas and during the 3rd attempt to dock at GSC: “We ask you to please remain away from the departure deck until Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the moorings"

 

 

"We are pleased to have some of the best crew and staff attendants in the cruise industry. Unfortunately, they have all been reassigned to the "Getaway"

 

 

"Will the person who left the dead Star Fish in Haven Hot Tub, please contact security ASAP"

 

 

HUMOR...DON'T CRUISE WITHOUT IT!

[Docalbe]

Thank You... I love it....:D:D:D

[quillwercruisers]

very cute!! LOL!!:p

[funat55]

Refreshing. Thanks for the smiles.

[rvsullivan]

Nice to get some levity on here!!! Good job.:D

[meatball_nyc]

Those are great!

Thanks for sharing :)

 

 

~Robin

Every Day at Sea is a Great Day

[CanadaTraveller]

Lol, my first cruise on the Spirit had a captain with the best one liners. Every announcement he made, we had to stop whatever we were doing to listen to his quips. Just another reason I got hooked on cruising on my first cruise.

[Freckles83]

oh my gosh, i would love to hear those type of announcements on my next cruise.

 

sometimes we get a sassy train operator when i commute into the city that makes the trip worthwhile, but i love the one liners you mentioned above, thats awesome.

[gooch47]

Reminds me of our Princess Captain who announced over a loudspeaker as we pulled into the harbor at Monte Carlo that was just filled with big yachts:

 

"Mine's bigger than yours," in a singsong kind of voice.

[swedish weave]

More !! MORE !!! MORE !!!!!

[SuiteCruisin14]

Very funny and glad to chuckle.

[Docalbe]

Captain, why was the ship rocking so much last nite?

He turn around with a smile on his face and with out missing a step...

WE HAVE ALOT OF HONEYMOONERS ONBOARD!!!!!:eek::D;)

[cruisemainiac]

It sounds like flying Southwest. Kudos.

[mitsugirly]

These are terrific! Hopefully more will chime in.

 

I know there have been one or two cruises that the captain or CD had some "funnies" over the loudspeaker. I just don't remember what they were. :p

[tarps14]

Heard one this last week on the Jewel that went something like "we welcome aboard all our families with children, but, please remember, they are YOUR children". Ha! Loved that one as it is so often forgotten.

[moonbmn53]

My aunt and uncle were on a NCL cruise and and at dinner one night one of their table companions asked them..."So what ship are you on?" My aunt's reply, "Umm, this one?"

 

Way back in the 60's and 70's if there was another ship in port you could "visit" it to see what it looked like. Guess they must have visited another ship in port that day.

[buckeye82]

My husband and I still chuckle about the Captain who came over the PA to give our current position. After a long pause he said, "Currently we are somewhere in the Caribbean Sea." Good to know!

[HeidiHo]

When we were on the Carnival Breeze there was a permanent sign in the hallway that said "To Gangway" and right under that it said" AKA, the Bridgey Thing That Crosses to Land." I thought it was kind of funny that they would actually put that up as a permanent sign.

[old sole]

At a disembarkation talk - those of you with cash accounts should settle up at the Purser's desk this evening. Those who have a credit card on file will have any balance due automatically charged to your card in 3 to 5 business minutes after debarkation.

[swedish weave]

A comment from an officer as we approached Gatun locks in Panama on a Panamax ship.

 

"Every time we do this, I wonder if this big sucker is going to fit"

[candydane]

Love it!

 

Thanks for brightening my day!!!:D

[ncklhaus]

Best. Thread. Ever.

Please keep posting more!

[lostone65]

These are great! I will have to start writing down some to share.

[blackshirtuk]

As everyone was leaving the show, the cd came back onto the microphone to say.

 

"If anyone has lost $5000 please contact me as i have found your rubber band!"

 

and another,

 

" for the guest who lost his gold rolex the time is now 10.30pm"

[2Ccruisers]

Reminds me of our Princess Captain who announced over a loudspeaker as we pulled into the harbor at Monte Carlo that was just filled with big yachts:

 

"Mine's bigger than yours," in a singsong kind of voice.

 

Love this!! lol :D