JGoof1 Posted October 13, 2015 #26 Share Posted October 13, 2015 I found the person who was offended by you removing grats, and hurting the room Stewart amusing. OMG people, they are not all named Stewart! Steward. Steward. Steward! :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ALWAYZCRUISEN Posted October 13, 2015 #27 Share Posted October 13, 2015 I'm not sure if this was a joke or not....but clearly the OP was trying to be funny "SPF-1000" is a nonexisting spf #. Very funny to read but if any of the content is true then it might be disturbing. I'm at a loss of words. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NPCIN Posted October 13, 2015 #28 Share Posted October 13, 2015 I wish the OP would come back and chime in on how their post was just to poke fun of what annoys them or many other people who cruise. Many think its a serious post. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
curious_st Posted October 13, 2015 #29 Share Posted October 13, 2015 Best. Review. Ever. Bonus points for using the word "swanky". Double bonus points for mentioning the U.S. 127 yard sale. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dcruisers Posted October 13, 2015 #30 Share Posted October 13, 2015 I joined CC years ago to share helpful information on cruising...,, and I appreciate all the great info I have received over the years. Although the review was fun, it appears the OP was more interested in entertaining us vs. sharing helpful information. Maybe, taking a Creative writing course would appease her creative side. As I look to this site for info and pointers from fellow cruisers, I'm disappointed that there was no real helpful information given in her review. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen_G Posted October 14, 2015 #31 Share Posted October 14, 2015 That was really funny! Thanks for making me smile! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cmjb4ever Posted October 14, 2015 #32 Share Posted October 14, 2015 Great post! More entertaining than the 1000 FTTF threads... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConshyCrock Posted October 14, 2015 #33 Share Posted October 14, 2015 This was a great post, I loved it. Like the person right before me said, I'm so sick of all of the same topics and ridiculous threads started by people too lazy to do a simple Google search! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aflyingbuttress Posted October 14, 2015 #34 Share Posted October 14, 2015 The unlucky schmuck had to stay on the ship and go non-alcoholic for the day so that adult beverages could be collected and stockpiled for the next day at Half Moon Cay. What do you mean you stockpiled adult beverages? How does that work? I thought you could only get drinks in cups and open cans of soda. How are you saving that? Genuinely want to know. I want to find a way to bring soda from the ship to HMC. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boaterette Posted October 14, 2015 #35 Share Posted October 14, 2015 I thought this was hilarious. What cracks me up is so many people who think it is real. You people need to lighten up some. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
boaterette Posted October 14, 2015 #36 Share Posted October 14, 2015 Ummmm.....do you work? I am guessing not since you seem to have all kinds of time on your hands, not sure what the point of this was and yes I am sure everyone gets it. It takes all kinds I guess...:rolleyes: How about to make people smile. It worked for me. Would rather smile than be uptight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aflyingbuttress Posted October 14, 2015 #37 Share Posted October 14, 2015 I thought this was hilarious. What cracks me up is so many people who think it is real. You people need to lighten up some. I that. Guess I'm one of those idiots. lol. But I also thought it was funny. If it was supposed to be poking fun at what people say on these boards OP did a good job. Perhaps too good since it was believable by so many. I was not at all surprised reading it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StolidCruiser Posted October 14, 2015 Author #38 Share Posted October 14, 2015 I wish the OP would come back and chime in on how their post was just to poke fun of what annoys them or many other people who cruise. Many think its a serious post. I'm not sure if this was a joke or not....but clearly the OP was trying to be funny "SPF-1000" is a nonexisting spf #. Very funny to read but if any of the content is true then it might be disturbing. I'm at a loss of words. OK, I’ll bite since many have asked. The review isn’t “real” (although I was on the Pride sailing 10/04/15 and had a wonderful time). I’m glad many found it to be the entertaining diversion from the routine threads/reviews that are so prevalent in these forums. That's exactly what I was going for. There were snippets of truth embellished for effect from behaviors I witnessed by others: the large party griping at My Time Dining, the Stockpile Schmucks, the scooter-stealer and the sick-baby complainers at guest services. The excursion experience in Grand Turk was one we actually experienced ourselves. The hysteria of embarkation and debarkation also had a ring of truth but this goes for pretty much any embarkation/debarkation. My one honest regret was trying to fictionalize the gratuity-removing passengers. This behavior is abhorrent to me but sadly the sick-baby party actually did this (as I was behind them in line at Guest Services). My motivation was to entertain while pointing out that when people advocate things such as flooding the port early on embarkation day, smuggling prohibited beverages on board, chogging, sneaking adult-looking minors into Serenity and removing gratuities for no justifiable service shortcoming just because its possible you might just wind up with a greater number of the type of fellow passengers who could actually post a real review such as the one I improvised. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tandemcruzr Posted October 14, 2015 #39 Share Posted October 14, 2015 Thanks for coming back. I enjoyed your satire. :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AZ Ocean Lover Posted October 14, 2015 #40 Share Posted October 14, 2015 It took me a while to catch on but it was a fun read. I thought you were the worst uncle for a while. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
10Jan54 Posted October 14, 2015 #41 Share Posted October 14, 2015 I am glad you came back:), however your post may be funny but it is still very sad because I have also witnessed just about everything mentioned. I agree for new comers that it may really be a turnoff for Carnival, not informative like it should be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweet Dutch Girl Posted October 14, 2015 #42 Share Posted October 14, 2015 (edited) Often times there is much more truth in a fictional account than is readily apparent. Thanks OP for showing how easy it is to get people to jump at the bait. Loved your sarcasm! I am glad you came back:), however your post may be funny but it is still very sad because I have also witnessed just about everything mentioned. I agree for new comers that it may really be a turnoff for Carnival, not informative like it should be. Why does everything on these threads need to be informative? Maybe I'm weird and a 1%er but I have a hard time thinking newbies wouldn't be aware of the facetiousness of the review. Edited October 14, 2015 by Sweet Dutch Girl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alexspepa Posted October 14, 2015 #43 Share Posted October 14, 2015 Stolid Cruiser - this is the funniest thing I have read on CC other than the Sailor Jack reviews, and I think you equaled him. The only thing that might be funnier is all the folks who thought you were writing a real review. Well played... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ladygal4.4 Posted October 14, 2015 #44 Share Posted October 14, 2015 OK, I’ll bite since many have asked. The review isn’t “real” (although I was on the Pride sailing 10/04/15 and had a wonderful time). I’m glad many found it to be the entertaining diversion from the routine threads/reviews that are so prevalent in these forums. That's exactly what I was going for. There were snippets of truth embellished for effect from behaviors I witnessed by others: the large party griping at My Time Dining, the Stockpile Schmucks, the scooter-stealer and the sick-baby complainers at guest services. The excursion experience in Grand Turk was one we actually experienced ourselves. The hysteria of embarkation and debarkation also had a ring of truth but this goes for pretty much any embarkation/debarkation. My one honest regret was trying to fictionalize the gratuity-removing passengers. This behavior is abhorrent to me but sadly the sick-baby party actually did this (as I was behind them in line at Guest Services). My motivation was to entertain while pointing out that when people advocate things such as flooding the port early on embarkation day, smuggling prohibited beverages on board, chogging, sneaking adult-looking minors into Serenity and removing gratuities for no justifiable service shortcoming just because its possible you might just wind up with a greater number of the type of fellow passengers who could actually post a real review such as the one I improvised. I figured it was more satirical than truth. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wizard-of-roz Posted October 14, 2015 #45 Share Posted October 14, 2015 I think the only thing you missed was the mention of the occasional Service Dog onboard. And, what that can add to the mix! Here's a sampling of some of the questions asked..... How did you get your dog onboard? Where does the dog go to the bathroom? Does he sleep in your cabin? How does he like the ships food? Is it a blind dog? Did it come onboard with you? And, on and on! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
repo-cruiser Posted October 14, 2015 #46 Share Posted October 14, 2015 I was on the same cruise, although we did it differently. I was the leader of our group. I observed before and after boarding smuggling of alcohol. I ratted them out immediately and did so through out the cruise. We certainly can't have smuggling of alcohol when I am paying the high price of drinks. Don't you know it says so in the contract no smuggling, so I policed that. I would also go down an hour before both dinner times and stand by the maitre d and would tell him who was dressed properly and who wasn't. He would always agree with me and send them back to change. Come on it's in the cruise contract people. Don't you know it is 5 star dining with dancing waiters. I also walked the dining room making sure not one person ordered more than one entree, It's my business to determine how much and what you eat. Every day, morning, noon and at night I would walk the ship and find every employee I saw and tip them. Come on people don't you know how hard they work. I also would stand by guest services and make sure no one removed tips, you know there is no way they ever could have had bad service or bad treatment from the employees. Those employees never mess up they are perfect, and they work so hard. Also it is my business to know who is tipping and how much. I always go to guest services at the end of cruise and have them double charge my gratuities . I then walk around the ship and let everyone know how much I extra tip and call them cheap if they don't. It is everyone's business how much I extra tip. We have decided next cruise we will just send the money we would have paid for the cruise to the workers, so we will not cruise and they work so hard and we will feel good about ourselves and tell everyone what we did. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trixiegal Posted October 14, 2015 #47 Share Posted October 14, 2015 I was on the same cruise, although we did it differently. I was the leader of our group. I observed before and after boarding smuggling of alcohol. I ratted them out immediately and did so through out the cruise. We certainly can't have smuggling of alcohol when I am paying the high price of drinks. Don't you know it says so in the contract no smuggling, so I policed that. I would also go down an hour before both dinner times and stand by the maitre d and would tell him who was dressed properly and who wasn't. He would always agree with me and send them back to change. Come on it's in the cruise contract people. Don't you know it is 5 star dining with dancing waiters. I also walked the dining room making sure not one person ordered more than one entree, It's my business to determine how much and what you eat. Every day, morning, noon and at night I would walk the ship and find every employee I saw and tip them. Come on people don't you know how hard they work. I also would stand by guest services and make sure no one removed tips, you know there is no way they ever could have had bad service or bad treatment from the employees. Those employees never mess up they are perfect, and they work so hard. Also it is my business to know who is tipping and how much. I always go to guest services at the end of cruise and have them double charge my gratuities . I then walk around the ship and let everyone know how much I extra tip and call them cheap if they don't. It is everyone's business how much I extra tip. We have decided next cruise we will just send the money we would have paid for the cruise to the workers, so we will not cruise and they work so hard and we will feel good about ourselves and tell everyone what we did. HILARIOUS!!!!!! You forgot to mention when you walked around the lido deck making sure everyone was actually sitting on the deck chair they wanted at ALL TIMES (no bathroom breaks!!!) or you reported them immediately to security. You can't have them saving chairs when other worthy guests are waiting and wasting time looking for a lounger, even though it's noon on a sea day. How dare they! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emilija Posted October 16, 2015 #48 Share Posted October 16, 2015 >>>>>no real helpful information given in her review.<<<<<< This post was about "things not to do" on a cruise, but done by...oh so many....... Hilarous!! Loved it!!!! Emi Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
16.evansb7@sbcglobal.net Posted October 16, 2015 #49 Share Posted October 16, 2015 So StolidCruiser I was on that cruise. It was a great cruise with a great staff. I have a few things to say. You stole from the staff of the Pride. You are a thief. You Demonstrated to your kids that you are a thief and you taught them that its OK to steal. And you might have cost someone their job. Maybe cruising is not for you because you make every decent American look bad. You are an Ugly American. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
16.evansb7@sbcglobal.net Posted October 16, 2015 #50 Share Posted October 16, 2015 PS - My previous post was just my fictionalized response to a review posted one day after the cruise. I tend to discount any subsequent retraction. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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