Pride and prejudice – our rewiew of the carnival pride 10/04/15

[StolidCruiser]

Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip…

We’re back from our cruise aboard the Carnival Pride and I am just dying to share with you all our experiences. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll scream “Sequel!”… because I know we all did all three.

Debarkation

The day started out wonderfully with a breezy check-out from the hotel and a quick shuttle ride to the port. We had received one of those e-mails saying our cruise check-in time was 1:30-2:30 but we didn’t pay that any mind and arrived at the port around 10:00 thinking we’d be first in line. Wrong! The lines had already started to form and we had to wait. It was slow going as they checked everyone’s carry-on bags and tossed all those beverage bottles we aren’t allowed to bring anymore. I overheard a number of people comment about the loss of the expensive alcohol they had in those bottles. Luckily ours was packed discretely in about a dozen thirty-five ounce shampoo bottles in our checked luggage. Score!

It was a long boring wait until boarding started around 12:00. By the time those tiara-wearing celebrities who were escorted out of their special Platinum room and the ones with the smug looks on their faces and odd “FTTF” forehead tattoos it was almost 12:45. Then the wait for all those regular joes who were ahead of us this morning. I think we stepped foot on the ship around 1:30.

Once on board we headed –where else – straight to the Lido buffet for lunch. After sitting for hours we were starved and we certainly ate like it. So many choices and so much of it, it didn’t really matter it was mediocre at best. I was at home with the others pushing and shoving to get as much on our plates as possible since the next meal wouldn’t be for at least 4 hours. I made sure to bring my own take-out containers for the left-overs to be enjoyed as snacks later. It pays to be practical.

After lunch, it was time to start working on getting our money’s worth for the Cheers package. Since we had 12 people in 4 inside cabins (8 of them children), we were able to work it so there was only one adult per cabin thereby only having to buy a total of two Cheers packages which we expect should cover the four adults adequately. Coupled with our own stash, we were well on our way to truly enjoying ourselves. But first we had to register the youngsters at Camp Carnival and get them settled before showing the older ones the arcade. Since it’s our vacation none of us wanted to control the kids so we were glad to be able to pass them off – for free! You can’t beat that. We were then off to finally have some adult-type fun.

Our niece Becky, the oldest of the under-21 members of our rag-tag entourage, will play prominently in this review as we nicknamed her “The Mule”. Not just because of the physical resemblance (no worries she’ll be getting in trouble with the boys!) but due to the fact she’ll pretty much be our go-to girl whenever we need something we’re too lazy (or incoherent) to do for ourselves. We plan to make her earn her keep this trip.

Activities

Sail away party here we come! The DJ’s music was a-thumpin’ and we all got our groove on. We laughed so hard we almost peed ourselves. Luckily we opted to do our twerkin’ by the pool as the emergency back-up plan since Becky forgot her Poise at home and she has a tendency to get that “Oh no!” look on her face when she drinks too much. We’ve all been there, haven’t we?

Dining

Well, after playing the Shower Shuffle (half of us in our cabins, the other half in the gym using the showers there) we all meet at the “My Time” dining room at 6:00pm. “What do you mean you don’t have a table for 12 waiting for us??” I mean really. They knew we were on board, they knew we were a party of 12 and they knew we had “My Time” dining. Doesn’t that mean we get a table whenever we want? I guess Carnival doesn’t think so because we had to wait… and wait… and wait. If the younger kids hadn’t been crying, playing jump-rope with the velvet line guides and looking up ladies dresses I bet we would still be waiting.

Did you know you could order as many of the things on the menu as you want? It’s true! Four of everything for everyone, please. Why would anyone go to the buffet when you can pretty much get the same unlimited food sitting down and being served in the dining room?

Well, after gorging ourselves and subsequently depleting the available toothpick supply, it was time to drop the younger kids back at Camp Carnival, push the older ones towards the nearest dance club they could sneak into and trot ourselves off to the comedy club. Did you know that you can stay through every comedy show if you just kind of shuffle down to different seats as those who don’t know better get up and leave?

After maxing out our shared daily allotment of tasty beverages under the Cheers program augmented by the contents of a couple of our “shampoo bottles”, we fell into whatever beds hadn’t already been spoken for in our group of cabins and drifted off into peaceful slumber after an exhausting day of fun.

[StolidCruiser]

Sea Day 1

Who knew there would be so much to do. Trivia, Bingo, dance contests, art auctions, gold-by-the-inch sales… our day would be full! But first we had to reserve our deck chairs by the pool. It’s a good thing Becky brought along a few extra pairs of flip slops because we needed every one of them to set upon our prime “beachfront property”. Hopefully they won’t melt in the sun before we come back a few hours later to lay claim to our territory.

There’s a lovely area at the back of the ship called “Serenity” with swanky seating, hammocks and padded loungers. It was kind of bothersome, however, to truck it all the way back to Camp Carnival to drop off the wee ones because Serenity is adults only. We thought it rather discriminatory to have an area who’s express purpose to keep certain vertically challenged passengers out, but as the saying goes “Their boat, their rules”. Luckily Becky can pass for “over 21” and was willing (translation: ordered) to stay behind and spread herself across enough loungers for all us adults. I made sure Becky understood she will have to be the one to go back and collect the kids when it’s time to go back to the main pool area so the toddlers can splash and play. Luckily Camp Carnival did a diaper change before we relocated otherwise it would have been quite touch-and-go back at the pool.

It didn’t take long to discover the free soft-serve ice cream machines. Becky pulled her lounger over and wasn’t seen again until it was time for dinner. The rest of us wore a path between our loungers and the bar. A couple asked us if we planned on washing our hair in the pool – I think because of the not-so-inconspicuous shampoo bottles we had with us. Some people can be so rude!

Dinner that evening was the same as the first – frustrating! Compound the wait issue with the fact they expected us to wear pants because it was “Formal Night”. We were not happy campers. Becky was looking forward to enjoying her surf-and-turf wearing her spangly tube top and Daisy Dukes. The rest of us were already wearing our “dress jeans” so Becky had to haul tail back to the cabin and change because she felt under-dressed. Pun intended.

After dinner and dispatching the little ankle biters to their respective prisons… oops, I mean activities… it was time to get some more bang-for-our-buck out of the CHEERS! Package. Whoever thought of this CHEERS! Package was ingenious with the exception of the 5-minute between drinks part. Becky can suck down a Cape Cod faster than… ummm… well… never mind. Let’s just say B2B has a whole different cruise definition for us. The quadratic equation for the evening: Becky + Liquor + Karaoke = ROFL. ‘Nuff said.

Sea Day 2

Second verse – same as the first! It was so nice we did it twice!

[StolidCruiser]

Port Day 1 – Grand Turk

We had to plan this day quite aggressively as we had to leave one adult behind to facilitate getting maximum benefit from the 15-drink daily allotment from CHEERS! The unlucky schmuck had to stay on the ship and go non-alcoholic for the day so that adult beverages could be collected and stockpiled for the next day at Half Moon Cay. We didn’t want to waste precious evening time without the kids to worry about collecting up excess beverages and then having to lug them around with us. As I’ve said before, it pays to be practical.

What that meant was we were lopsided in the number of adults we had to participate in couples-oriented excursions. We couldn’t have Becky fill in since she was the defacto babysitter who had to corral the animals for the day and there was no way she was getting a day off.

Well, being lopsided meant being one of us being paired up with another solo stranger on the Island Buggy Adventure excursion group. Guess who that lucky person was? You got it – me. And guess who I get paired up with? A 300-pound gorilla of a man who evidently was never explained the concept of soap. The smell was so bad vultures were circling thinking something dead was nearby ready to be pounced on. Couple that with this dude’s stellar clothing choice of a wife beater t-shirt and stained-with-Lord-knows-what shorts emblazoned with “Home of the Whopper” across the front, I seriously thought I could hear the Stockpile Schmuck laughing from back on board the ship. Think it couldn’t get worse? Wrong! This guy turned out to be a screamer. “Yahoo!” “Oh man!” “Yeaaahhhhhhh!” “Awesome!” Repeatedly and at top volume the whole time. We were never so glad for something to end and we scrambled away as fast as our trembling legs could carry us.

Back on board, we found the Stockpile Schmuck by the main pool. Oddly, there was a scooter beside them but no one else around. Turns out, S.S. came across the vehicle abandoned somewhere in one of the cabin deck hallways and decided to take it for a spin. Finders Keepers! That’ll teach Grandma to leave things where they don’t belong. Since we were back, we helped push the now-dead scooter into a corner of the Serenity area and scampered back to our cabins to once again do the Shower Shuffle.

The evening’s imbibing was tempered with still trying to maximize both our fun and benefit of the CHEERS package while balancing our well-understood requirements for the next port day. We managed quite nicely, thank you very much.

 

Port Day 2 – Half Moon Cay

Half Moon Cay is a private island and is like an amusement park in the middle of the ocean. I’ve never seen anything like it and let me tell you I was speechless. Which is saying a lot because as you can probably guess by now I can be a tad bit chatty.

After another round of pushing and shoving to get on the tenders to take us to Fantasy Island, we arrived on solid ground. Trying to accomplish Beach Blanket Bingo with a few hundred others at the same time poses its challenges but high marks go to Becky for galloping her way ahead of the rest of us and nabbing some pretty impressively located chairs right in front of these fancy cabanas. What are those all about? Stay tuned – you’ll find out momentarily.

After slathering ourselves in SPF 1000 suntan lotion, we headed off to the water. While Becky splashed with the youngest at the water’s edge, us big people floated out on the blow-up rafts in the shapes of farm animals and dinosaurs we brought with us for just such purpose. Marco Polo is an entirely different game when played in the ocean (another whole volume level is necessary) and the teens of our group played it for hours. I don’t understand how others around us couldn’t see the amusement but I guess they’re just not so adventurous.

Remember those cabanas I mentioned? Well, I guess you have to pay extra for these because we spotted people showing up after us and settling in like they owned the place. Well, you don’t own what you don’t use because later in the day we didn’t see anyone using the one right behind our campsite so we moved in. Imagine our inconvenience when the “rightful” occupants returned and rudely demanded we get out. Our response? “Use it or lose it!”. It got kinda heated but we conceded before anyone official showed up.

After several repeated trips through the barbeque lunch buffet, naps were in order so we found some chairs not currently occupied by others and fell asleep. We later learned from the kids that the people who had those chairs saved came back and said we looked too angelic in our slumber to be disturbed. Awwwww – isn’t that sweet?

REPEAT WARNING: The CHEERS package cannot be used on Half Moon Cay. Frustrating to say the least – it’s their own island isn’t it? No matter, we just sent “The Mule” back onto the ship midday to restock from our hoard from the day before. Once again, to use my favorite expression, it pays to be practical.

[StolidCruiser]

Port Day 3 – Freeport

Three words – What A Dump! And that’s saying a lot coming from us. You’d think we’d be starry-eyed at all the colorful wares being sold by vendors right there on the pier but it just felt like the “127 Corridor Sale”. You know, “America’s Longest Garage Sale” in the South that stretches for 690 miles and spans 6 states? That’s Freeport. Nothing but folding tables of touristy crap as far as the eye can see. It made it terribly difficult to identify the bars but luckily Becky has a nose for sniffing out the seediest places where inebriated locals guys with a limited grasp of the English language hang out. That’s where we needed to be (minus Becky of course)! And by the looks of things, that would pretty much be all there was to do anyway. After daisy-chaining the young ones to Becky using the ties from those fancy robes we found in our cabins, we pushed the Toddler Train off toward the edge of the pier and headed in the direction identified by Becky’s hormonal divining rod to sauce ourselves up on the cheap. I can’t remember much of the remainder of our day or any of the evening that followed but we all were accounted for the next morning so I’ll assume we made it back onto the ship without getting arrested.

Final Sea Days

Who knew that vacations could be so tiring! I mean, we were all pretty wiped out from the fan-tabulous time we were having and we were definitely showing signs of slowing down. Plus, we were running low on “shampoo” and when you begin to sober up everything takes on a different perspective. Thankfully, the Beckster was dutifully fulfilling her obligations by rising at dawn to perform the required “Flip Flop Fling” so we all had loungers when we came out of our comas. Definitely appreciated since we pretty much passed out in those loungers for the majority of the day.

Things got a little dicey later in the evening after dinner when one of our little angels started behaving like Linda Blair from “The Exorcist”. And no – there were no crucifixes involved. I’ve never seen so much spurt forth (from both ends, mind you) from such a tiny human. It was really, really bad. We determined it HAD to be something she ate and immediately went to Guest Services to complain. They really didn’t seem to care that a Northern bile-spewing Southern chocolate volcano toddler was ruining what, up to this point, had been a pretty fun time. And to make matters worse, they wouldn’t even compensate us with a rebate for something that was clearly evident to us as their fault. Bummer! Removing the daily gratuities (which we were going to do anyway – thanks for the advice Cruise Critic!) was much more satisfying given this unexpected situation.

Oh and on that note: some people who know they can remove the daily gratuities by simply making up some service issue that ruined their cruise stay away from the main dining room on the last night to avoid that awkward “I’ve served all 12 of you a 16-course meal (when you order 4 of everything!) every night. An extra gratuity would be appreciated.” look on the waiter’s face. Not us - we just smile and walk away just like we do at Golden Corral and the Waffle House. Tipping IS just a city in China and like my United Kingdom and Australian friends I won’t be giving any to anyone.

Debarkation

Even Becky couldn’t prepare us for the cattle drive that represented getting off the ship. I didn’t think the pushing and shoving experienced at the buffet could be topped, but it was. The urgency we experienced to get ON the ship was surpassed by the mayhem of the masses desperate to get OFF the ship. The cries of “I have a 9am flight!” and “Don’t you know I’m Platinum!” echoed throughout the Atrium like chanting at a Black Sabbath concert. We decided to retrace our steps back to the Lido and pretty much had the place to ourselves. Around 9:30, you could almost hear crickets it became so quiet. We sauntered back down to the Promenade and strolled right off the ship. With almost all the other bags already taken by the previously departed, ours were easy to spot. Not they would have been difficult to find since pretty much every piece of luggage we own is held together with layers of duct tape. The fancy colored kind, of course.

Juan, Giuseppe and Habib were just about the last remaining cabbies once we emerged from the luggage building and they couldn’t have gotten us all to the airport faster. Literally. It was a white knuckle ride and I don’t think we dipped below 55 mph the entire trip including the fascinating side streets we took to “avoid the traffic”. As we were unloading we recognized some of those anxious people crammed in the Promenade a few hours before us just getting to the airport. Silly people.

In conclusion, this was one of the best vacations we ever had and I highly recommend it to anyone with a couple hundred bucks to spare. You won’t be disappointed!

[taymiss2]

Ok, that was hilarious! Nice start to my day.

[LMaxwell]

Yes, that was very funny :D

 

If you didn't note what a dump Freeport was I'd think it was ALL made up. :cool:

[scrinchy]

Too funny. I have to remember to stockpile for HMC.

[slmwo]

Bravo!!!! :)

[ObstructedView2]

 

Wow, an interesting, yet very telling review.

Oh my, I would never want to cruise with you.

Totally annoying.

 

 

 

:p

[jpstuhr]

Wow! What a low life stealing someone's cabana. And you try to justify it? Must be from New York.

[cruiser fanatic]

Great review! I totally agree with you about Freeport. It is a dump and there is nothing to do there.

[ObstructedView2]

Removing the daily gratuities (which we were going to do anyway – thanks for the advice Cruise Critic!)

 

An extra gratuity would be appreciated.” look on the waiter’s face. Not us - we just smile and walk away just like we do at Golden Corral and the Waffle House. Tipping IS just a city in China and like my United Kingdom and Australian friends I won’t be giving any to anyone.

 

 

Wow........

 

 

 

 

:eek:

 

[rguy123]

Funny but half of CC won't get it.

[sanmarcosman]

Funny but half of CC won't get it.

Half the comments in this thread prove your point.

[Linerguy]

This "review" is nothing more than a compilation of all the annoying things people talk about here on CC: chair hogging, removing tips, etc.

 

Nice attempt at starting a lengthy, controversial thread...but I'm not buying it; I have better things to do.

Edited October 12, 2015 by Linerguy

[suzinva]

Hilarious, thanks!

[RecoveryDude]

I thought this was great ... HOWEVER, I was disappointed to see you removed the gratuities. ...because I wonder if you have any idea how many people didn't get paid because you removed the gratuities? ...including your room stewart! Perhaps you don't realize this, but the service people on cruises depend on gratuities as part of their overall salary. Now, of course if your room stewart gave you horrible service, then of course, perhaps adjust their tip. However, why should your room stewart (or the wait staff who served you all cruise long) be penalized because you found "an excuse" to get upset, with the little one getting sick?

 

Obviously you are trying to really economize ... smuggling alcohol in Shampoo Bottles ... I get it, and when I drank alcohol I used to do the SAME THING, so I get it. Plus I understand trying to save a buck when travelling with a large group ... but removing the grats is simply not an option IMHO - I mean gratutites are only $12 per day ... the price of just ONE bar drink ... yet that covers the service of many, many people. If you can't afford that, then perhaps you should not choose cruising as your next vacation.

 

Jeff aka Recovery dude

Edited October 12, 2015 by RecoveryDude

[sanmarcosman]

OK, now it's more than half don't get it.

[10Jan54]

as said above I am glad I was not sailing with you also. You are what makes some parts of cruising bad. CC is not at fault, people like you are. Your mule who is under age should not be drinking because if something happens you'd be the one to blame carnival. Sorry the kid got sick but if it was the food everyone would have been sick, what did your wait staff have to do with it. I think your just cheap.

Also the one who commented about being from NY you are being very judgmental. Born and raised and still living in NY and I would never pull the crap this party of 12 did.

[KPfromCT]

This was HYSTERICAL!!!!:D:D:D

PEOPLE, it was JOKE!!!!!!!

As another poster said, the OP was just bringing to light, the topics we see on here 10X a week.

Just having a little fun with their review.

 

Great start to my Monday!!!!!

[Drazil65]

Ummmm.....do you work? I am guessing not since you seem to have all kinds of time on your hands, not sure what the point of this was and yes I am sure everyone gets it. It takes all kinds I guess...:rolleyes:

[LMaxwell]

Funny but half of CC won't get it.

 

Bit shy; try 95% :D

[guxu]

I know it was a joke but I am still upset. OP just reminded us how ugly our fellow passengers could be.

[momof3cruisers]

Pretty sure you hit every nail. However, you probably should have demanded compensation since Freeport was so disappointing.:cool:

[mntbikejack]

LOL!!!

Best entertaining review I have read!!:D