Redneck Review of an Hawaiian Cruise; no photos, no videos; just plain talk

[G&G]

Very funny review. I have enjoyed your cruise reviews on the HAL CC Board.

 

I was also on this cruise. What's the deal about the Princess Theater. Two shows nightly, 800 seats, over 3000 passengers; the math does not work. We also had to get to show up to 45 minutes early just to get a seat.

[rbt001]

Your opprobrious behavior towards the perception that I lack intelligential skills is over stated and not authentic :confused: !

 

or something like that :D !

 

PARODY accepted

 

Hey RedneckBob-

 

I'm sure in reality you have more academic degrees than I since someone else pointed out your slip with that big word "tender", a word that I didn't find in my reader until my last year of high school..LOL

 

I KNOW you're not both first and second cousins to your sister's daughter's aunt, nor are you of the Clampett bloodline.

 

Happy sailing, and I enjoy your reviews.

[RedneckBob]

Hey RedneckBob-

 

I'm sure in reality you have more academic degrees than I since someone else pointed out your slip with that big word "tender", a word that I didn't find in my reader until my last year of high school..LOL

 

I KNOW you're not both first and second cousins to your sister's daughter's aunt, nor are you of the Clampett bloodline.

 

Happy sailing, and I enjoy your reviews.

 

 

Thanks. We're almost neighbors. I work in Sunny Isles Beach.

 

Actually my bloodline comes from the reknown family in south Alabama named The Turnipseeds. That's right, when they say I fell off the back of a turnip truck there is some truth in that. :D

[rbt001]

Thanks. We're almost neighbors. I work in Sunny Isles Beach.

 

Actually my bloodline comes from the reknown family in south Alabama named The Turnipseeds. That's right, when they say I fell off the back of a turnip truck there is some truth in that. :D

 

We ARE practically neighbors: next time I'm driving through, which I do often pass, I'll honk and wave towards you and the misses. Being so close to the port, I'll guess you sail often, so I'll also look for you two on upcoming cruises.

 

 

[i'm sure there's a good wordplay and joke with back of the truck, falling off, bloodline and seed.... but I'll pass on it.]

[MrMan]

RB, a grizzled sailor once explained to me the difference between a "boat" and a "ship."

 

A "ship" can carry a "boat."

 

The Ruby Princess is a ship. It is interesting that you used the nomenclature "tender" for your Maui stop. The tender vessel was, I'll bet, one of the orange colored emergency survival vessels that are carried by the Ruby Princess. It would be an example of a boat.

 

Yes, I know. I'm a smarty-pants.

 

:D

 

Thanks for your fun post.

 

I think he is using poetic licence in the OP description and it enhances his writing style and "Redneckness". Just as I assume when one refers to a female as a "chick" they are expecting a beak

Edited February 4, 2016 by MrMan

[nukesubsailor]

RB, a grizzled sailor once explained to me the difference between a "boat" and a "ship."

 

A "ship" can carry a "boat."

 

The Ruby Princess is a ship. It is interesting that you used the nomenclature "tender" for your Maui stop. The tender vessel was, I'll bet, one of the orange colored emergency survival vessels that are carried by the Ruby Princess. It would be an example of a boat.

 

Yes, I know. I'm a smarty-pants.

 

:D

 

Thanks for your fun post.

 

As another grizzled old sailor, let me add something to your knowledge about boats and ships. What you said was true but there is an exception. Submarines, no matter what their size, are referred to as boats.

[XBGuy]

As another grizzled old sailor, let me add something to your knowledge about boats and ships. What you said was true but there is an exception. Submarines, no matter what their size, are referred to as boats.

 

Thanks, NSS. Another gap in my knowledge has been fiiled. All of my submarine experience is vicarious--mostly from movies. It did not dawn on me until I read your post, but, in every submarine movie I've ever seen, they refer to the vessel as a "boat." So, obviously, they are using the right terminology.

 

Thank you.

 

The internet is, in fact, a wonderful thing. I love picking up these little tidbits.

[ekka49]

Redneck

 

Thank you for the best laugh I've had today

[RedneckBob]

I loved it. When is your next cruise?

 

:D:D:D:D

 

Me & the misses sail out of Ft Lauderdale in March on the Celebrity Equinox to the Caribbean. We go to our favorite island for 2 days; St Maarten. We go to our favorite beach; Orient Beach, where clothing is optional. I usually bring my wide angle binoculars; but wait; I believe the clothing optional people start at age 60; I guess I will wear blindfolds :D ! That should produce an interesting tan line :cool: !

[flamomo]

I noticed that your cruise friends were named Fred and Ethel ..... are you sure you aren't a reincarnation of Desi Arnaz, masquerading as a redneck? And your wife's real name isn't Thelma, but Lucy?

[Flatbush Flyer]

RB, a grizzled sailor once explained to me the difference between a "boat" and a "ship."

 

 

 

A "ship" can carry a "boat."

 

 

 

The Ruby Princess is a ship. It is interesting that you used the nomenclature "tender" for your Maui stop. The tender vessel was, I'll bet, one of the orange colored emergency survival vessels that are carried by the Ruby Princess. It would be an example of a boat.

 

 

 

Yes, I know. I'm a smarty-pants.

 

 

 

:D

 

 

 

Thanks for your fun post.

 

 

Not all boats can be carried by a ship. A submarine (even a nuclear one) is referred to as a boat.

[RedneckBob]

I noticed that your cruise friends were named Fred and Ethel ..... are you sure you aren't a reincarnation of Desi Arnaz, masquerading as a redneck? And your wife's real name isn't Thelma, but Lucy?

 

You caught me Sherlock :cool: !

 

By the way, I see you reside in the Tampa Bay area. Our place is in the country in NW Hillsborough County. Are you our next store neighbor ?

[nycruiser2006]

Thanks. We're almost neighbors. I work in Sunny Isles Beach.

 

Actually my bloodline comes from the reknown family in south Alabama named The Turnipseeds. That's right, when they say I fell off the back of a turnip truck there is some truth in that. :D

 

Oh my Gosh RedNeckBob! I used to work at the Publix on Sunny Isles. Now I live in Upstate NY. I do miss the beach. Awesome area.

Great review :cool:

[RedneckBob]

Oh my Gosh RedNeckBob! I used to work at the Publix on Sunny Isles. Now I live in Upstate NY. I do miss the beach. Awesome area.

Great review :cool:

 

Thanks NYCruiser2006.

 

I have been working in Sunny Isles since 2005 right down the street from Publix; on the beach side :cool:. Been in that store quite a few times.

[RedneckBob]

Redneck

 

Thank you for the best laugh I've had today

 

Thanks mate !

 

Love your country; was their in 2002; except Sydney was a downer (means upset in English)

 

Tried to walk across the top of the Sydney Bridge but was not allowed to because you had to be sober for 24 hours. That disqualified me. My breakfast of champion every morning is a bowl of cheerios cereal and a Bud Lite :D !

[RedneckBob]

Thanks mate !

 

Love your country; was their in 2002; except Sydney was a downer (means upset in English)

 

Tried to walk across the top of the Sydney Bridge but was not allowed to because you had to be sober for 24 hours. That disqualified me. My breakfast of champion every morning is a bowl of cheerios cereal and a Bud Lite :D !

 

Forgot to give you a shout out: AH-Z, AH-Z, AH-Z !

[flamomo]

You caught me Sherlock :cool: !

 

By the way, I see you reside in the Tampa Bay area. Our place is in the country in NW Hillsborough County. Are you our next store neighbor ?

 

Not quite ... I live in south Hillsborough County, so I guess that makes us distant neighbors. :p

[ekka49]

:D

Forgot to give you a shout out: AH-Z, AH-Z, AH-Z !

 

We will be on our first trip to mainland USA on the 17th March next month.

Flying into Houston 17th March. Cruising out of Houston for 21 days on the Caribbean Princess from 20th. Western Caribbean all new ports for us. Looking forward to a trip to NASA on Saturday 19th. Safe cruising to all

[G&G]

RDB,

 

I noticed in your cruise review that you did not discuss the stops in Mexico or Kauai. Did you get off the ship in these ports?

[SoCal Cruiser78]

...Also when did a "Lifeboat" became known as a "Survival Craft"...

 

I first heard it during muster on the Golden in 2014. I suppose they are used when the ship doesn't sink, but undergoes a "buoyancy reduction" :rolleyes:.

[RedneckBob]

:D

 

We will be on our first trip to mainland USA on the 17th March next month.

Flying into Houston 17th March. Cruising out of Houston for 21 days on the Caribbean Princess from 20th. Western Caribbean all new ports for us. Looking forward to a trip to NASA on Saturday 19th. Safe cruising to all

 

Sounds Great. We have sailed out of Galveston with family who live in Houston. Do you go to Roatan? Great place to dive or snorkel !

 

I do not know where you will be staying but a great steakhouse in Houston is Taste of Texas off the I-10 (Katy Freeway), west of I-610.

[RedneckBob]

RDB,

 

I noticed in your cruise review that you did not discuss the stops in Mexico or Kauai. Did you get off the ship in these ports?

 

Thanks for the reminder G&G.

 

Yes we did stop in Mexico and Kauai. I guess I forgot those ports. Must have left a lasting impression on me. Well hear goes;

 

Kauai: me and the misses decided to rent a car and do our own tour of the island. We first drove to the north side to a place called Princeville. Well after going into several stores for shopping and a couple of hotels they should re-name this place Priceyville. After leaving Priceyville, I mean Princeville, we headed west to the end of the road and we ended up in a Park. And in this Park were all these tents and smoke coming out of the tents like those Indian teepees. So I went up to one of those tents and do you know there was a strange smell. A guy came out the tent and I asked what was going on. He said, "Hay Dude, this is a Peter, Paul and Mary revival." And I replied, "What the h_ll is that", which he replied, "You never heard of "Puff the Magic Dragon". "No, but I have heard of "Dead Skunk in the Middle of the Road". Well that went no where and Thelma and me began to fell funny so we left. Then we drove to the south sid of the island to a place call Pu Pu Beach or something like that. While I wasn't go to stay long at a place called that. Overall it was an interesting visit.

 

Ensenada: I was really looking forward to Mexico. Thelma and me walked to town in search of some real authentic Mexacan Crusine. And do you no we walked all over town, up and down almost every street and never could find a Taco Bell. What a bummer !

 

Well that night we headed back to LA and that's the rest of the story.

[G&G]

Thanks for the reminder G&G.

 

Yes we did stop in Mexico and Kauai. I guess I forgot those ports. Must have left a lasting impression on me. Well hear goes;

 

Kauai: me and the misses decided to rent a car and do our own tour of the island. We first drove to the north side to a place called Princeville. Well after going into several stores for shopping and a couple of hotels they should re-name this place Priceyville. After leaving Priceyville, I mean Princeville, we headed west to the end of the road and we ended up in a Park. And in this Park were all these tents and smoke coming out of the tents like those Indian teepees. So I went up to one of those tents and do you know there was a strange smell. A guy came out the tent and I asked what was going on. He said, "Hay Dude, this is a Peter, Paul and Mary revival." And I replied, "What the h_ll is that", which he replied, "You never heard of "Puff the Magic Dragon". "No, but I have heard of "Dead Skunk in the Middle of the Road". Well that went no where and Thelma and me began to fell funny so we left. Then we drove to the south sid of the island to a place call Pu Pu Beach or something like that. While I wasn't go to stay long at a place called that. Overall it was an interesting visit.

 

Ensenada: I was really looking forward to Mexico. Thelma and me walked to town in search of some real authentic Mexacan Crusine. And do you no we walked all over town, up and down almost every street and never could find a Taco Bell. What a bummer !

 

Well that night we headed back to LA and that's the rest of the story.

 

Very funny!

 

I bet that park you were at in Kauai was Hanalei

[rbslos18]

"We chose to go on one of those boats that is named from a precious and erotic stones; not Diamond, Sapphire, Emerald but RUBY!"

 

"Our waiter in the MDR was Peter from Europe. He was excellent...I asked Peter if he was married or had a girl friend. He replied in one of those European/Aristocratic voices, "RedneckBob, he called me by my first name, I have a woman in every port""

 

Thanks for sharing Redneck. Wow. Now I know why the ships are named after "erotic stones." Glad you and the Mrs. enjoyed your cruise!

Edited February 10, 2016 by rbslos18

[UpcountryTravelers]

>chuckle< Nice review, but I do have to point out that the ONLY Princess ships with a line for the buffet are the Ocean and Pacific. Thought you were on the Ruby. ...?...

Edited February 11, 2016 by UpcountryTravelers