The Adventures of HAL Newbie "Flying Fishy" on Nieuw Amsterdam! 2/28/16

[teamflames]

That's a compliment of course [emoji4]

 

 

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[FlyingFishy]

That's a compliment of course [emoji4]

 

 

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Ah. I was completely lost.

 

Thanks!

[OzarkCruisers]

Love your report!

 

Gloria

[pdw26]

Brilliant! ROFL. Looking forward to your report on the rest of the trip.

[IllinoisGirl1978]

This is a fun read, Thank you!

[FlyingFishy]

After lunch we returned to our cabin to find our luggage delivered, only missing our case of bottled water. A wave of relief came over me knowing that all of our clothes, shoes, bathing essentials, pharmaceuticals, and my teddy bear were now in our possession. I was slightly worried that my flat iron (men, this is like a curling iron for hair except it makes your hair straight) would cause red flags, like hot plates, and firearms do. I also worried that Mr Flying Fishy may have hidden some additional booze which would send us to the ‘Naughty Room’, the ultimate walk of shame.

 

We learned about the Naughty Room (second hand, thank goodness) on our first cruise, which was a group cruise, that had an incredibly active roll call. One of the events included the Cabin Crawl, in which we would march from each others cabin, and explore the various shapes, sizes, and formats of different categories of staterooms. This got slightly out of hand with people smuggling Tooters and champagne bottles, along with airplane sized liquor bottles, and packets of alcohol, in order to have beverages to sample at each host’s cabin. One of our friends got called to the Naughty Room as their suitcase failed to pass inspection due to the fine selection of wine they smuggled. Some notable bottles included Barefoot Callus Chianti, Yellowfail Merlot, and a favorite from Trader Moe’s: Two Duck Muck. The Alcohol Police confiscated the wine until the end of the cruise, and our friend wasted a total of $7.38, unable to enjoy his screw cap wine.

 

Actually, I am not certain that Holland America devotes the time or energy to a Naughty Room as their clientele seems to be less likely to participate in this barbaric behavior. So perhaps my worry was for nothing. (And as far as I know, Mr Flying Fishy did not smuggle a drop of liquor... You can see his bar bill if you don’t believe me!)

 

I then proceeded to call my mom to let her know we made it to the ship and I would be out of touch for a week. The phone call went very quickly and when I hung up, I heard Mr Flying Fishy on his phone talking to Father Flying Fishy about the webcam that broadcasts the ships sailing out of Port Everglades. You can find this via Google. Although there never is any hope of my in-laws seeing us live online (we don’t wave flags or do anything to help us stand out from the crowd), the phone call must be made, and the conversation must commence:

 

“Yeah, just go to that website address right now. You’ll see ships.”

 

“Okay, I am there.”

 

“Our ship is the one with the words Holland America...the one with...”

 

“Oh I see it! It looks like there’s a giant slide on top.”

 

“No, that’s a Royal Caribbean ship, look to the right”.

 

“Ah, I see it. That other ship appears to be 5 times the size of your ship! (laughter) Why didn’t you sail on that one?”

 

“Dad, there are a million reasons, but right now I’m trying to tell you where we are!”

 

“Do you think this web cam is in HD? It doesn’t appear to be. Hold on, maybe it's me. Let me refresh the website, or better yet, let me reboot my computer!”

 

"Dad, we don't have time for that."

 

"Too late. Okay, I will look on your mom's computer. Hold on, it's right here. What is the website address again?"

 

“http://www.--------------------.com. Now listen. Our cabin is just above the lifeboats, and we are in the middle of the ship.”

 

“I see the lifeboats. How many people do they hold? Are there enough seats for the passengers in Steerage? What about the crew? Are they treated fairly? I heard they only make 8 cents an hour!”

 

“I DON'T KNOW! Now look... Do you see that vertical black line in the middle of the ship? That's an elevator. Count 5 cabins to the right of that, just above the life boats. That’s us! I am waving right now.”

 

“I can’t see any cabins. Hey, why I got you on the phone, do you get free international minutes with your cellular plan? You should think about switching phones and companies and using my referral code. I hear they are coming out with a new phone. The 9S or S9 Note-Tablet-Pad... the name is something like that, but, it may have a reduced red-eye induction feature compared to the T8...Do you thi...”

 

“Okay Dad, I gotta go. Love you. Bye.”

 

And then Mr Flying Fishy says to me “Dad is all set to see us on his computer when we set sail”. Yeah... I’m sure he will be pointing to the two people rock climbing on the Allure of the seas, insisting that’s us, instead.

 

Alas, it was approaching 2:30. Our roll-call Meet n Greet, planned to meet by the Sea View Bar, deck 9, aft, near the pool, at that time. We agreed to wear Mardi Gras style beads in order to be able to find one another. This worked well, and before long, we had a group together, enjoying beverages and small chat. Everyone was very friendly and had interesting things to say. Unfortunately, we were unable to stay long as Mr Flying Fishy and I realized that we forgot to purchase medical-travel insurance, and we would have to get that completed before we set sail... OR ELSE!!!

 

Would we find the link, book our insurance, and receive the purchase confirmation in time? (The suspense is killing me!)

 

More to come...

Edited March 23, 2016 by FlyingFishy

[DeeniEncinitas]

LOL!!!!! Love your report sooooo much!

Want more.

Thank you!!

Denise 😀👍

[retiredkid]

Thoroughly entertaining writing style. I am looking forward to each and every post. Thanks so much for sharing.

[teamflames]

Love that phone conversation! Can so relate [emoji28]

 

 

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[FlyingFishy]

A sincere thank you for all of the positive comments. It means the world to me! :)

Edited March 23, 2016 by FlyingFishy
Edit needed.

[FlyingFishy]

Purchasing medical insurance for a cruise can be incredibly inexpensive. Now, maybe that’s due to our ages, being in our mid-to-late 30s, so please disregard this information if your age is different. But for the price of a Piña Colada or a basket of fries at Margaritaville, you can have amazing medical expense coverage for an entire week! I don’t know why or how this works, but the rates are way cheaper than our standard health insurance through my husband’s place of employment. I have even pondered the logistics of purchasing travel medical insurance every week of our lives, instead of purchasing our insurance through Purple Cross Green Shield of Illinois! However, it’s probably illegal, and certainly not feasible. Anyway, the insurance is really just 99.999% for peace-of-mind; to calm the voices in my head of the “what-ifs”, and .001% for an actual medical emergency. I really don’t know how a company could pay out $100,000 for a claim when we only pay about 19 dollars for the both of us for this invisible service. Oh, the mysteries of life.

 

We were just starting to input our credit card information into the form online when Kabul bursts into our cabin insisting that our lives were in danger and we had to immediately leave the cabin! (He’s a really good actor as this was just the beginning of a muster drill and not an actual emergency).

 

Now who in the world is Kabul you say? He is our cabin steward, and our hero. At this point in our vacation, he has already put up with our requests for an extension cord (actually two, as the first one was not long enough), an ashtray, a second order of ice, and has politely laughed at several of Mr Flying Fishy’s jokes that make no sense to a person who can only understand a bit of English. Along with his assistant, Suki, they provide us with the best cabin service we can possibly ask for.

 

“Mr Fishy, come, we must go to the drill. Mrs Fishy, come, we must go to the drill.”

 

“Can I bring my drink with me?” Mr Flying Fishy asks Kabul.

 

“Oh no Sir Fishy. Drinky will be waiting for you when you get back.”

 

Onward we went down our hall, to the staircase (by the elevators that Mr Flying Fishy tried to explain to Dad), down the stairs, to level 3, and out to the port side of the deck, underneath the lifeboats to our muster station #10.

 

Upon arriving, we were instructed to get into a bump-and-grind position with the other members of our station. In other words, they pack you in like sardines, and you get to know your fellow passengers a bit too intimately for anywhere outside of Show Host Eric's crazy and wild parties at the Northern Lights Dance Lounge (Deck 2 mid-ship).

 

A crew member standing in front of us all shouted “Ladies and Gentlemen, we are now going to call out your cabin numbers. When you hear your cabin number, please yell "here" to let us know that you are here. If you fail to do so, you will be marked as absent, and will be thrown overboard at the first sign of an emergency.” (That last sentence was made up).

 

The sardines start to mumble to each other, some louder than others:

 

“What did she say?”

 

"She said we need to say “here” when she calls our cabin number."

 

"What is our cabin number?"

 

"I think it’s 10."

 

"No, no, no, that’s our muster station number!"

 

"I don’t remember our cabin number!!! Oh wait, I wrote it on my hand. It’s 5006."

 

"Well that’s good for you, but how am I supposed to remember our cabin number?"

 

"You can ask me. I have it written down on my hand. It’s 5006."

 

"QUIET DOWN. THE MUSTER DRILL CANNOT PROCEED UNTIL WE HAVE COMPLETE SILENCE FROM EVERYONE!" Said the announcer, and the crowd came to a hush, aside from Mildred and Wilford’s conversation that was heard by all.

 

The announcer continued on: "NUMBER 4880."

 

“Here!”

 

"NUMBER 4882."

 

<Silence>

 

"NUMBER 4882!"

 

<More silence>

 

And this went on with about maybe 25% of cabin numbers proceeded by a response of “here”.

 

Our cabin number 5110 was on deck (no pun intended) as the announcer called out number 5108. A quiet “here” came from somewhere in the crowd, and it was about to be our turn.

 

“Cover your ears,” Mr Flying whispered to me, so I ducked a bit, covered my ears, and tensed up for what was about to come.

 

“NUMBER 5110!”

 

"HHHHHEEEEERRRRRRRRRREE!" Yelled Mr Flying Fishy to the point where the man in front of us became deaf for the remainder of the cruise. People jumped, screamed, yelped, some laughed, as the beckon of Mr Flying Fishy certainly got everyone’s attention.

 

A few more numbers were called out and dismissed, an inaudible announcement over the loudspeaker played for all to ignore, and we concluded the drill, no more prepared for an emergency than we were before we boarded the ship.

 

Back in our cabin, we finished the purchase of our medical insurance, unpacked a bit more, and wondered what ever could have happened to our 24 pack of Zephyerhills water? Will we ever find out???

 

More to come...

Edited March 23, 2016 by FlyingFishy
Edit Needed

[Rmwife1]

We are HAL newbies. This is such fun to read!

 

 

Sent from my iPad using Forums mobile app

[islandblue]

So enjoying your writing! What fun to read. I look forward to hearing more about the Nieuw Amsterdam as I will be on her in a couple of months. I'll be looking for Flying Fishy fin prints all over her [emoji4]

 

 

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[wldflr]

 

Wldflr, What are your recollections of Tony and the Wang-Wang? :D

 

Tony is an older gentleman, who reminded DH of Telly Selvalas (of Kojak fame) cause of his bald head. He made me lots of different drinks the week we were onboard (gotta love the beverage program!). One night we saw him make an 80 year old cruiser a "Wile E. Coyote" which was a concoction of several liquors similar to a Wang-Wang, I suppose. At the end of the week, we gave Tony a nice extra tip.

 

Note: since HAL discontinued entertainment in the Crow's Nest in the evenings, it was soooo quiet up there with hardly anyone up there, which we didn't mind but others might.

 

Oh, btw...I took my wang-wang back to our cabin, went out on the balcony to read, fell asleep and when I woke up - I spilled what remained of my wang-wang! Sticky mess and one powerful drink!!!

[Lizzie68]

Loving this review.:D:D

[teamflames]

Are you a script writer FF?

 

 

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[FlyingFishy]

We are HAL newbies. This is such fun to read!

 

 

Sent from my iPad using Forums mobile app

 

Thank you!

 

So enjoying your writing! What fun to read. I look forward to hearing more about the Nieuw Amsterdam as I will be on her in a couple of months. I'll be looking for Flying Fishy fin prints all over her [emoji4]

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

Thank you! Enjoy the NA! Ha ha, fin prints, love it!

[FlyingFishy]

Tony is an older gentleman, who reminded DH of Telly Selvalas (of Kojak fame) cause of his bald head. He made me lots of different drinks the week we were onboard (gotta love the beverage program!). One night we saw him make an 80 year old cruiser a "Wile E. Coyote" which was a concoction of several liquors similar to a Wang-Wang, I suppose. At the end of the week, we gave Tony a nice extra tip.

 

Note: since HAL discontinued entertainment in the Crow's Nest in the evenings, it was soooo quiet up there with hardly anyone up there, which we didn't mind but others might.

 

Oh, btw...I took my wang-wang back to our cabin, went out on the balcony to read, fell asleep and when I woke up - I spilled what remained of my wang-wang! Sticky mess and one powerful drink!!!

 

It's always fun to find an "off the beaten path" bar on board! Mr Flying Fishy loved the Crow's Nest bar too! I'm sure for the reason that it was quiet, with not a lot of people.

 

Your incident with the sticky mess on your balcony was probably the BEST possible outcome from that strong drink! I'm sure crazy incidents have occurred, that some may regret, after consuming a Wang Wang! Thanks for sharing!

 

Loving this review.:D:D

 

Thank you!

[FlyingFishy]

Are you a script writer FF?

 

 

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No. That would be a lot of fun though!

[teamflames]

No. That would be a lot of fun though!

 

 

Could be, love the dialogues

 

 

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[FlyingFishy]

Could be, love the dialogues

 

 

Sent from my iPod touch using Tapatalk

 

Thanks so much!

[SilvertoGold]

Mrs Fishy

 

You have an outstanding writing style! So enjoyable to read, very entertaining, and quite informative, too. Such a generous "live from": I don't know how you find the time!

 

Many thanks for brightening our day!

[FlyingFishy]

Mrs Fishy

 

You have an outstanding writing style! So enjoyable to read, very entertaining, and quite informative, too. Such a generous "live from": I don't know how you find the time!

 

Many thanks for brightening our day!

 

Thank you so much!

[FlyingFishy]

The amount of space for storage in a verandah cabin on the Nieuw Amsterdam amazed me. Even more amazing was the huge supply of hangers! I was able to hang all of our clothes on two of the three rods freeing up an entire cabinet for the shelves to fold down (three total I believe, not including the one holding the life jackets). However, real estate in the lavatory came at a premium, with very little vanity space and not nearly enough shelving for all of our personal needs. So I decided to devote the completely freed up cabinet (the one closest to the front door of the cabin) to our personal care items, including the pharmacy I packed, as well as jewelry, hair care, makeup, skincare, nail care, and various hand, face, & foot lotions. Now that I’ve listed all of Mr Flying Fishy’s items, I will give you the details of my list. Just kidding, that’s not his list! That would be silly! He forgot his makeup. Just kidding again!

 

Okay, so I completely took over the entire cabinet, and all shelving in the bathroom, aside from the teeny tiny half-shelf in the corner of the vanity that I designated as Mr Flying Fishy’s shelf. Sorry husbands and boyfriends of the world, it’s just the way it is. If there is one crucial lesson I learned from my parents who were happily married for almost 40 years until Dad passed, was that married couples should always have separate bathrooms. None of this double-vanity nonsense... Couples need double toilets, double showers, and double the walls. We are in year 6 of our marriage, and having separate commodes has got to be the secret to our success. So on this voyage, we are roughing it, having to share a bathroom for our vacation week. First world problems.

 

By this point, having everything completely unpacked and placed exactly as I wanted it, my thirst took over me. I really wanted my water! So Mr Flying Fishy decided to call up guest services to see if they could be of assistance to our missing agua.

 

“Hi, I know this is a ridiculous question, but, do you happen to know where our 24 pack of Zephyrhills Water could be? We put a luggage tag on it, but it may have fallen off.”

 

“Yes, Mr Fishy Sir, let me see what I can find out about your Zef-Hills Water, please hold.”

 

“I am on hold,” Mr Flying Fishy said to me, “But it’s probably hopeless. We’ll just buy you some overpriced water. It’ll be okay”. He continued into the phone “Yes, I’m still here.”

 

“Sir Mr Fishy, we have found your water! It is right here in our office! I will send someone up to bring your water to your cabin very soon, Sir Mr Fishy.”

 

“Wonderful! Thank you! Goodbye.”

 

“They found your water, Dear!”

 

“Are you kidding me? Wow! It’s a miracle!” I replied, in shock. “Do we need to go get it? Did they put it in the Naughty Room? Why don’t you know where to go to pick it up? How could you forget already?”

 

“No, Honey, calm down. THEY are bringing it up to our room.”

 

“Oh, really? Well, that will probably take hours. I’m going up to Lido to find some water.”

 

I wasn't upset that the water delivery would probably take hours. Heck, Peapdod requires an entire day to deliver, even Oberweis Dairy lacks the ability to deliver milk with such a short turnaround! And that's their business! Delivery! So far be it from me to expect my water in under several hours.

 

Putting on my comfiest sandals and grabbing my key card, I was about to head upstairs to deck 9 when I heard something coming from the hall:

 

Knock. Knock. Knock. Someone was at the door!

 

“Good day Madam, Mrs. Fishy. I have your water.”

 

“Oh that was incredibly fast! Thank you so much!”

 

“You’re welcome, Madam. I will just set it on your bed. Good day, Mrs Fishy.”

 

I pondered how to spell ‘Madam’ in my review, as the pronunciation of ‘Madam’ by all members of the crew sounded more like the French word ‘Madame’, not like ‘Madam’, as we’d be more likely to hear in the United States.

 

As you read this, please do not say ‘Madam’ in your head as you would say “Madam I’m Adam” which rhymes (and is also a palindrome!) but rather, please say ‘Madam’ as you would say “Madame” in French which would sound like /məˈdɑːm/ or "muhdam". This pronunciation is due to the fact that we are sailing on Holland America, The Dam Ships, where every ship has a 'dam' at the end of it's name!

 

Of course, if you pronounce Nieuw Amsterdam as Nieuw Amersterdum, and Koningsdam as Koningsdum, then by all means, go ahead and say “madum” to yourself, Mister Adam.

 

Damn, that was confusing!

 

Now that the ship is sailing at a rate of more than 2 knots, my review will pick up some speed as well. No cliffhanger today! Mr Fishy is about to take a nap on the ship and Madam Fishy (did you say “muh-dam”?) is about to explore the ship.

 

See you tomorrow...

[teamflames]

100% agree on the map to a successful marriage. Where possible separate bathrooms, where not never use at the same time.

As DW says "keep the love alive".

Famous entertainer in Australia when asked how she had been married over 40 years replied never went to the bathroom in front of one another (can't believe people do)

 

 

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