Cruisers & Losers Breakaway Part 1

[wmwmarmstrong]

"Once at our appointed seats my wife was able to mount very easily. I however had difficulty getting up onto the stool and needed to use the bar for balance."

 

Too funny!

[Fineaswine]

Day 7 Freestyle: The last full day of a cruise or any trip for that matter is one of trepidation for what awaits you once you disembark? The very things that prompted a retreat to begin with. I could almost see my computer monitor mocking me upon return; an ever-present reminder of short comings fool choices and wasted potential. Sigh. We had seen the shows, watched the events put on by the cruise staff, and made responsible use of the drink package. Now, all that was left to do was take a final look around the ship. We played some games of chance in the casino, toured the Peter Max and friend’s art gallery and even caught a bit of the piano and vocal stylings of Manny. It was announced at the end of the final performance of Burn the Floor that one Carla Stickler would be giving an open-door performance on the last night.

 

She is known for her role in “Wicked” which was a play on events taking place between the witches of Oz. I’ve never seen it nor truly cared to. I think I got about enough during Carla’s performance. She sung a few from that production as well as some random throw ins. The performance was a bit manic for my taste and to be honest Carla herself seemed a bit crazy. I guess that anyone who would leave for New York to sing on Broadway is likely a bit compromised, but I have a sense for these things, this young woman struck me as Glenn Close Fatal Attraction crazy. Even this however did not make her performance very memorable. It was loud, it was music., it was crazy and then it was over. Thank god.

 

It was at this point that one of the biggest highlights of the cruise took place. The show had ended…or so I thought and then from stage left Dan Dan took the spot light. He began to go over how great it was to sail with all of us. POPPYCOCK!! I sailed with all of us as well and was none too impressed. He dropped a few jokes to bring the audience back from the precipice of madness and then he began to sing. Dan Dan I have to say stole the bread right out of Carla’s mouth. This man of small stature and boundless charm sang with all his heart, enough that for the briefest of moments, I did believe he felt it was great to sail with us. At that point another Cruise staff, whose name escapes me, joined in duet adding a counter weight to the power of Dan Dan.

 

The duo was joined on stage by the captain and the other officers aboard. Following this came the room stewards and the bar folk. The whole performance ended with the stage being cleared and the hall outside the theater filling with the ships staff. As I rolled away, I saw Dan Dan and I just had to get a selfie. Unfortunately, my arms don’t stretch out far enough to get both myself and another in frame. No worries though, Dan Dan’s did and that picture now acts as both background and screen saver on my hateful work PC. With that the seventh day soon came to a close. We headed off to bed after a final go about and a frosty mango melt down. Tomorrow New York debarking and final thoughts

 

(To be Continued)

Edited November 5, 2016 by Fineaswine

[lgdesign]

...this young woman struck me as Glenn Close Fatal Attraction crazy... It was loud, it was music., it was crazy and then it was over. Thank god.

 

A-M-A-Z-I-N-G... :):):):):) Sad that we're coming to the end of the saga... thank God for Dan-Dan saving the day.

[JulieAF]

I have been on 2 sailings with Dan-Dan. He is quite talented.

 

Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk

[$hip$hape]

It was at this point that one of the biggest highlights of the cruise took place. The show had ended…or so I thought and then from stage left Dan Dan took the spot light. He began to go over how great it was to sail with all of us.

This man of small stature and boundless charm sang with all his heart, enough that for the briefest of moments, I did believe he felt it was great to sail with us. At that point another Cruise staff, whose name escapes me, joined in duet adding a counter weight to the power of Dan Dan.

 

Tomorrow New York debarking and final thoughts

 

(To be Continued)

What ME struck as funny, was at the end of OUR Breakaway cruise, was when our cruise director said

we all looked more relaxed than when we arrived...

And it looked as if we all lost a few pounds.:p

[Fineaswine]

Day 8 Debarking: And so at last it had come to an end.We had decided to take our own bags so that we could leave first thing. I awoke bright and early to wander my way to the Garden Cafe to get a cup of Nojo and look out at New York City from the lofty vantage of deck 15. The air was chilled and full of conflict. Things had not gone at all as planned. However, was it really all that terrible...yes, yes it was.

 

I am a large middle aged man who goes to a soulless desk job everyday, saving and cutting corners for that one go at forgetting the laundry list of personal and financial failings that I have accrued over a lifetime. I had to pay strangers to right me in a motorized scooter on an island I never intended to set wheels on! I had to peel crapes off my backside. I had to explain to Mrs Andrews why my children were carrying around invisible "appendages" in the middle of third block. Now I know, safety first, sailing into the path of a hurricane would have made the trip far less pleasant, but sigh. Norwegian can't control the weather no, but they can make a decision and send an email. Norwegian can't magically open a variety of port options at the drop of a hat, but they can ensure they don't contract unicorn ruffians.

 

With that final purely objective critique, I would like to take a moment to address three topics which I must say, fail to receive adequate coverage on these here forums. Smoking, Nickel & Diming and the obscene absence of lobster.

 

Smoking: I myself am no longer a smoker. When my children were born I took it upon myself to end that habit. How ironic that I would choose to do so at the very dawn of chaos. But I did. Though I no longer smoke, I found the near literal caging and segregation of smokers to be disturbing. Such forced separation seemed like a shamming tactic pushed by the left leaning socialist who fill the halls of my work place. As a red blooded American it was my choice to start as it was to quit. A choice that can be, nor should be, anyone elses. This enforced health or die fascism must come to an end before we are all transformed into mindless meat puppets.

 

Nickel & Diming: A tin cup for a pina colada, just a few more dollars? A cabin can have no more than one bulk purchased beach towel per occupant? If you do not return the bulk purchased beach towel, a 25 dollar charge will added? These are but a couple. I ran into an assortment of "friendly reminders" and "by the way" statements through out the cruise, perhaps it was a way to prepare us for the Nassau market place. Oh, but if the lessons were intentional, they wouldn't have been free.

 

Lobster: Sea Food night at the Garden Cafe. I was excited, I bet I wasn't the only one. I had stopped over at Red Lobster on the way into NYC from Rhode Island and kept a logo emblazoned bib. I put that bib on as I rode the elevator to the 15th floor. Sure others would have their Norwegian counter parts. Mine, however, would act as a flag of our New England origins. The first evidence of trouble should have been clear with the obvious lack of bibage as I rolled through the glass doors. I grabbed a plate and passed the usual evening offerings. To these options Norwegian added a salmon roll, mussels and Chowda. I took none of these as I wanted to save my plate for the main event, the lobster. No, you didn't miss it...it wasn't there.

 

With that this cruise review comes to an end. Debarking was quick, and I found it easy to get off. We went into the terminal, waited in line, were cleared as US citizens and set loose into the early New York morning...

 

Finding our family SUV, we tossed in the bags and pulled away on route back to RI and the six encroaching months of New England Winter. I would like to thank you all for your kind response to this thread. It made me think of all the other disappointments in life and how they too could use a voice. Therefore, I have taken it upon myself to be said voice.

 

To this end, I have begun a life style blog;

 

http://thecriticalbrow.blogspot.com/

[biker@sea]

Thank You Sir for an excellent review! :) :D :cool:

[jpcdds6]

Followed from the start. Great read. You have a talent, no doubt. As for lobster, being from Rhode Island, I'm sure you have visited the Nordic Lodge in Charlestown. More than once I bet. Nassau ain't Bermuda, but sometimes ya gotta do what ya gotta do, and make the best of it.

[rocklinmom]

Thank you Fineaswine for one of the most entertaining reviews ever! I will miss my daily chuckle while reading it.

[lgdesign]

Nojo... I had to peel crapes off my backside... unicorn ruffians...

 

So funny... great story-telling... thanks for sharing! Nojo is now a permanent part of my lexicon. :)

[bjlaac]

Day 8 Debarking: And so at last it had come to an end.We had decided to take our own bags so that we could leave first thing. I awoke bright and early to wander my way to the Garden Cafe to get a cup of Nojo and look out at New York City from the lofty vantage of deck 15. The air was chilled and full of conflict. Things had not gone at all as planned. However, was it really all that terrible...yes, yes it was.

 

I am a large middle aged man who goes to a soulless desk job everyday, saving and cutting corners for that one go at forgetting the laundry list of personal and financial failings that I have accrued over a lifetime. I had to pay strangers to right me in a motorized scooter on an island I never intended to set wheels on! I had to peel crapes off my backside. I had to explain to Mrs Andrews why my children were carrying around invisible "appendages" in the middle of third block. Now I know, safety first, sailing into the path of a hurricane would have made the trip far less pleasant, but sigh. Norwegian can't control the weather no, but they can make a decision and send an email. Norwegian can't magically open a variety of port options at the drop of a hat, but they can ensure they don't contract unicorn ruffians.

 

With that final purely objective critique, I would like to take a moment to address three topics which I must say, fail to receive adequate coverage on these here forums. Smoking, Nickel & Diming and the obscene absence of lobster.

 

Smoking: I myself am no longer a smoker. When my children were born I took it upon myself to end that habit. How ironic that I would choose to do so at the very dawn of chaos. But I did. Though I no longer smoke, I found the near literal caging and segregation of smokers to be disturbing. Such forced separation seemed like a shamming tactic pushed by the left leaning socialist who fill the halls of my work place. As a red blooded American it was my choice to start as it was to quit. A choice that can be, nor should be, anyone elses. This enforced health or die fascism must come to an end before we are all transformed into mindless meat puppets.

 

Nickel & Diming: A tin cup for a pina colada, just a few more dollars? A cabin can have no more than one bulk purchased beach towel per occupant? If you do not return the bulk purchased beach towel, a 25 dollar charge will added? These are but a couple. I ran into an assortment of "friendly reminders" and "by the way" statements through out the cruise, perhaps it was a way to prepare us for the Nassau market place. Oh, but if the lessons were intentional, they wouldn't have been free.

 

Lobster: Sea Food night at the Garden Cafe. I was excited, I bet I wasn't the only one. I had stopped over at Red Lobster on the way into NYC from Rhode Island and kept a logo emblazoned bib. I put that bib on as I rode the elevator to the 15th floor. Sure others would have their Norwegian counter parts. Mine, however, would act as a flag of our New England origins. The first evidence of trouble should have been clear with the obvious lack of bibage as I rolled through the glass doors. I grabbed a plate and passed the usual evening offerings. To these options Norwegian added a salmon roll, mussels and Chowda. I took none of these as I wanted to save my plate for the main event, the lobster. No, you didn't miss it...it wasn't there.

 

With that this cruise review comes to an end. Debarking was quick, and I found it easy to get off. We went into the terminal, waited in line, were cleared as US citizens and set loose into the early New York morning...

 

Finding our family SUV, we tossed in the bags and pulled away on route back to RI and the six encroaching months of New England Winter. I would like to thank you all for your kind response to this thread. It made me think of all the other disappointments in life and how they too could use a voice. Therefore, I have taken it upon myself to be said voice.

 

To this end, I have begun a life style blog;

 

http://thecriticalbrow.blogspot.com/

 

 

You know what's really sad, for an entire 24 hours NCL has printed tabs advertising seafood night on each and every napkin holder in the Buffet. And what's on them, Lobster Tails!. Why do they do this, is it really so hard to tell everyone the truth. Does the right hand not know what the left hand is doing.

 

Whether Lobster is an issue to you or not, its things like this that make people nuts especially when they offer Lobster for a surcharge in the MDR, for you convenience of course!

[hawk1972]

Bravo!!! Thank you. I will never look at people on scooters on a cruise in the same way.

[pe4all]

Thank you for sharing your journey with us - I will miss your entries!

[ja2nowak]

Thank you for a very amusing story!

[tmcmom]

Getting some good laughs from this review. Looking forward to day 4. :) (Especially looking forward to your thoughts on Rock of Ages!)

 

(To my fellow readers: This kind of reminds me of the book "A Confederacy of Dunces." It sounds like a review written by the main character, Ignatius J. Reilly. If you enjoy the writing style of this review you might enjoy the book.)

 

I was reading along on this post, and was thinking the very same thing - I'm even picturing Ignatius in my mind's eye!

[suesings]

Thank you Fineaswine for all the laughs and smiles along the way. By far my favorite review ever. I will definitely check out your blog as I love your writing style!

 

If and when you cruise again, I will definitely look forward to your review!

 

Wishing you the best!

[lavermont]

I think a lot of the bitterness seems to flow from the fact that he wanted to go to Bermuda, and instead, had to to settle for Port Canaveral and Nassau. I would much prefer Bermuda instead as well. But OP booked a cruise during hurricane season, and now seems to blame NCL for his decision. When you book a cruise during hurricane season, you are taking chances. I'm sure OP has now learned that.

 

OP also seems to think that readers will find his whining about everything to be cute or funny and humorous. It's not. Was it really necessary to describe the washy washy woman as a "short smiling Filipino woman"? What does being Filipino have to do with it?

 

I do agree that being in a scooter would be tough on a cruise. Did you have a handicapped accessible room? You describe yourself as large and proceed to complain about the small cabin. I think being large, in a scooter, and sharing a standard cabin with a wife and three children would make things tough. Also, you complain about getting stuck between the wall and the bed. Why didn't your wife take that side then?

 

 

Blackwing -

 

Here's to you! Great response to that review. I guess some people cannot be happy about anything! Hey, "stuff" happens to everybody at some point in one's life. Most of us have learned to roll with the punches and make the best of our situation. Apparently, some have not. And I don't know if your response using logic and common sense will get through to OP, but I certainly got it, loved it, and agree! Bravo!