Question about formal nights & men's attire

[bUU]

I also "hang" on the Holland America forum. Yes, there are a lot of people there who engage in ridiculously prejudicial responses when one expresses the intention to follow the dress code but not the personal preferences with regard to formal dress of various long time Holland America cruisers. There are a lot of people over there who simply cannot accept the fact that the dress code has indeed changed.

 

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[navybankerteacher]

I wear only a long sleeve dress shirt on HAL. If you ask on the HAL board, they will try to shame you into staying in your cabin or only using the rear staircase.

 

Don't worry, you will now be with the majority not wearing a tux or suit on formal night. I've only witnessed someone in shorts being turned away on HAL.

 

 

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Really - who is the "they" whom you feel are trying to "shame" you? I check the HAL board - and there are some who have noted the change in dress code - some even going on record that they wear more than the minimum acceptable, some even express regret at the change --

 

-- but :

"try to shame you into staying in your cabin or only using the rear staircase". That is simply BS!

[bUU]

I'm shocked that you don't realize it when it occurs. Okay I'm not all that shocked. There is loads and loads of dress code browbeating in the forum (and to be fair the same thing happens in several other forums I'm sure), so much so that I do worry that it turns off a good number of new subscribers to Cruise Critic.

 

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[navybankerteacher]

I'm shocked that you don't realize it when it occurs. Okay I'm not all that shocked. There is loads and loads of dress code browbeating in the forum (and to be fair the same thing happens in several other forums I'm sure), so much so that I do worry that it turns off a good number of new subscribers to Cruise Critic.

 

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"Loads and loads of dress code browbeating" ???

 

Perhaps you have a hyper-sensitive misunderstanding of "browbeating" - someone stating what they like to wear is hardly "browbeating" .

[bUU]

Nope after over 30 years online I've got a pretty thick skin. There actually is a lot of discourtesy bordering on hostility directed at posters who do not agree with the majority in the Forum.

 

Maybe you don't see it because you're part of that majority.

 

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[navybankerteacher]

Nope after over 30 years online I've got a pretty thick skin. There actually is a lot of discourtesy bordering on hostility directed at posters who do not agree with the majority in the Forum.

 

Maybe you don't see it because you're part of that majority.

 

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Rather than taking exception to your casting me as "part of that majority" who show "discourtesy bordering on hostility" - I will simply ask you to cite some examples of the "loads and loads of dress code browbeating" you deplore - by identifying thread and post number of some of the "loads and loads" which you seem to find upsetting.

 

Surely if there exists such "loads and loads", you should have no problem citing them.

[Hlitner]

Thanks Crystalspin. I am going on Holland America.

 

HAL's new dress guidelines eliminated "formal nights" in favor of what they call "Gala Nights." It seemed to be an attempt on HAL's part to accommodate the divergent feelings among many cruisers when it comes to tough dress codes. Like any kind of dress guidelines, it has generated some passions :(. Suffice it to say that you can go anywhere on a Gala night with simply a collared shirt and slacks. There will be other men dressed in a similar fashion.. there will be some dressed in Black Tie, some in suits, some in blazers, etc. All is acceptable although trying to wear shorts and a T-shirt would likely keep you out of the MDR.

 

 

As we have posted in other threads, our experience on HAL is that the actual dress of passengers seems more dependent on the length of the cruise. If you go on the World Cruise you are going to generally find a better dressed crowd then on a 7 day Caribbean cruise.

 

Hank

[bUU]

Rather than taking exception to your casting me as "part of that majority" who show "discourtesy bordering on hostility" - I will simply ask you to cite some examples of the "loads and loads of dress code browbeating" you deplore - by identifying thread and post number of some of the "loads and loads" which you seem to find upsetting.

I never said I find them "upsetting". As a matter of fact, I said that opposite, stating that I had a thick skin. So how about as a gesture of good faith you show some respect for what I wrote here, and ask your question without building in some inherent disrespect to start with? (Meanwhile, I'll start gathering up some citations for you. It might take a while since the moderators are quite good at deleting such messages soon after they're posted.)

 

Like any kind of dress guidelines, it has generated some passions :(.

Precisely right. Edited July 28, 2017 by bUU

[cruzincurt]

I quit the HAL boards some time ago due to the passion of some of the posters. Perhaps they have passed on. I can't cite posts from several years ago but there ok was a few suggesting that non-formal dressed passengers should avoid public areas on formal nights.

 

I also quit going to the welcome back events due to the pushing and shoving and people being knocked down when the doors open.

 

My recent cruise on the Oosterdam turned me away from HAL due to their continued misunderstanding of what "anytime dining" really means and their reluctance to have more two top tables.

 

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[bUU]

I quit the HAL boards some time ago due to the passion of some of the posters. Perhaps they have passed on. I can't cite posts from several years ago but there ok was a few suggesting that non-formal dressed passengers should avoid public areas on formal nights.

Not to bring back bad memories, but this is the kind of thing I was referring to: http://boards.cruisecritic.com/showpost.php?p=48438342&postcount=915 (If you want to read the thread, you can follow the link in the upper right corner, but the moderator's comment, alone, probably provides all the insight you may want.)

[navybankerteacher]

I quit the HAL boards some time ago due to the passion of some of the posters. Perhaps they have passed on. I can't cite posts from several years ago but there ok was a few suggesting that non-formal dressed passengers should avoid public areas on formal nights.

 

 

 

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As I recall, when lines such as Celebrity and HAL did have formal nights and a specific dress code, it was stated in the lines' material that guests not in compliance with the code should avoid public areas on those nights - so it was the line, not the posters. I believe that Cunard still at least suggests that.

[iancal]

Yes, it was some cruise lines that had those silly words. Yet, I can assure you that we were welcomed in the revenue generating bar and casino areas.

 

Alas, they were not able to get the 'beam me up Scotty' machine perfected in order to magically lift us from our cabin to the Lido.

 

Plus of course, we had paid our fare and never had one iota of though about remaining hidden in our stateroom. The request seems so silly now when we look back on it. I guess that is why so many people simply ignored it....including those who had dressed for the MDR and then changed for the balance of the evening.

[Noels100]

Oh my goodness, I can't believe any one would suggest those not in compliance with the dress code should avoid public areas. Unfortunately our cruise is booked and less than a month away but I am seriously reconsidering if this is our type of holiday.

[bUU]

Oh my goodness, I can't believe any one would suggest those not in compliance with the dress code should avoid public areas.

It was a different time - a different cruising industry.

 

Unfortunately our cruise is booked and less than a month away but I am seriously reconsidering if this is our type of holiday.

Those last couple of posts were about the past. There is no such advisory from Holland America any longer.

[iancal]

Don't sweat the small stuff. This is not a big deal. Go and enjoy yourself. Some folks take this very seriously but they are in the minority and some are on this board.

 

We stopped doing formal a long time ago. Now, it is becoming the norm. There is nothing wrong with Mr. and Mrs. Pretend Dress-uP but that does not mean everyone has to follow this. There is room for everyone on the mass market cruise lines. Don't be concerned. Spend your time anticipating a great cruise, not fussing over all the various attire comments. We certainly don't.

[Hlitner]

Oh my goodness, I can't believe any one would suggest those not in compliance with the dress code should avoid public areas. Unfortunately our cruise is booked and less than a month away but I am seriously reconsidering if this is our type of holiday.

 

The last time we were on the Queen Mary 2 (about 4 years ago) was on a 6 day "crossing" from Southampton to NYC. 3 nights were Black Tie, 2 nights jacket and tie, and the last night jacket but no tie required, To a great degree then enforced the code with black tie meaning a tux, dark suit..or perhaps a decent blazer/sports coat. That code not only applied to the MDRs, but also applied to the Ballroom (the main public lounge used for major events such as the Balls. Those that did not follow the dress code could pretty much go anywhere else on the ship...although they must have felt pretty self conscious given the high degree of compliance with the dress code.

 

We recently had English friends visit us...while on a short trip to the USA. They flew over on Brit Air, but went back to the UK on the Queen Mary 2. They spent a lot of money to have all their formal clothes shipped from England to the Queen Mary 2.....in Brooklyn. From what we heard, they were in the majority with their formal wear.

 

We have cruised on more then 60 different ships (14 cruise lines) and the Queen Mary 2 is the only ship where they really took the formal dress code very seriously. Crystal was a close 2nd to Cunard....although we have heard that there are now some folks that do not dress up on Crystal (but we assume they avoid the MDR on formal nights).

 

Hank

[iancal]

The odd comment that I used to get from time to time was...well gee, don't you want to dress up for your wife. OR....doesn't your wife really want you to dress up?

 

Well no actually, DW was the person who first suggested we end the dress up routine since for us it had the overtones of being at home vs being on vacation. After we switched to casual we wondered why we had not done so before.

 

Other helpful (?) suggestions included buying a low cost garment from a charity shop or getting one on line...$99 including tux, shirt, cumberband, tie, socks, and perhaps even underwear. Or even rent one from the cruise line. There was an assumption that the only possible reason for not dressing up would be a clothing budget or an unwillingness to pay for extra checked bags on the airline. Strange conclusions

Edited July 28, 2017 by iancal

[Noels100]

Thank you 😀