HOT TOPICS at dinner!

[LovetheSea]

Remember the old rule of dinner conversation. Never talk politics or religion?

I was reminded about it when I saw the subject of the Iraq war discussed when the post was supposed to be about dressing up on the ship? What? How did that happen? We have been on many cruises. On most of them the people follow these wise rules. On a few the subject of politics came up. It is never a good idea. Who cares if you are a Republican or Democrat. Who cares what your religion is. We just want to know you and have a nice relaxing time with no stress or conflicts when we vacation. It's nice to hear about your kids, job, hobbies, funny stories etc. We have met fabulous folks from all over the world. The ships staff as well. I like to focus on what we have in common. Not what divides us.

Anyone have this happen to them on a cruise?

[florisdekort]

I avoid bringing up these topics myself, but it does indeed happen. If it does, I don't really mind. I like to listen to people's opinions and arguments, even if they differ from my own. I always hope to learn something new, hear a different side to the story, something to expand my own views and ideas. Some of my best friends are from the complete opposite side, both politically as well as in religion.

[jetcruisers]

I agree with the OP. We just want to have light conversation and a few laughs when we dine with our new dinner companions but it's very hard to do if I bring up my line of work. I won't even say what it is here, but it never fails when I do say what I do for a living I have to hear everyones sob stories and they tend to direct their wrath directly at me even though I was in no way involved with their problem . It's very unfair and makes the whole table uncomfortable so I usually don't bring up what I do (or try very hard to sidestep any questions about it).

Lately we've taken to dining at a table for 2 just so this wouldn't happen.

It's very rare that we meet people with enough tact to keep their opinions of my industry to themselves. Believe me I'd rather hear about politics and religion any day than be made uncomfortable by rude and insensitive people who think it's their right to vent their grievances at me just because of what I do (and by the way I love doing it!);)

[Susan-M]

I had a little chuckle reading your post as I recalled being seated at the same table as the Catholic priest. He didn't show up until the 3rd night, but boy did he make up for lost time during the rest of the week! I am Catholic and he was unlike any other priest I have known.... as he continued to expound his radical religious views and a health problem that should not be discussed at the dinner table....at which point I had to ask him to change the topic. I can laugh now, but at the time, it was unbelievable!

 

I do agree with floris though and feel that with enough discretion, religion and politics can make for interesting conversation.

[overinvester]

Amen on these rules! We recently came off the Century and my wife & I like a bigger table to have conversation during our dinner, but behold, it happened. The 2nd night out 2 of the other couples started talking about the Iraq conflict and politics, I immediately put a stop to it.....big mistake, on the 4th night, they all ganged up and ignored my wife, she left the table in tears. Being the type of person she is, she composed herself, refused to get another table and on the 5th night went back and gave them some of their own medicine. She refused to let them ruin her cruise. In fact, they were now the ones that felt slighted. I would agree, keep religion and politics away from the dinner table.:D

[Susan-M]

I won't even say what it is here, but it never fails when I do say what I do for a living I have to hear everyones sob stories and they tend to direct their wrath directly at me even though I was in no way involved with their problem .

 

My guess is that you work in the insurance industry;) I know... you said you weren't going to tell, but you've piqued my curiosity:)

[LovetheSea]

Oh I forgot about medical problems or procedures! That is another one. We had dinner with a nice couple from New York city. She said she had lunch with a couple that talked about their various surgeries and health problems all through lunch. Now we have had our share over the years, but I would never talk about it at a meal.

jetcruisers...I can't imagine what occupation could be so much a sensitive subject that you have excluded yourself from a large table? Porn star perhaps? IRS investigater? Really you don't have to tell anyone what your occupation is just because they ask you. Just say I don't like to think about work when I am on vacation and leave it at that . Most people will not press you further about it. :)

 

Once we had a lawyer at our table and the poor guy had to hear lawyer jokes the whole week.

[Happy ks]

An IRS auditor:)

 

I have a job that people either react very sadly to, or don't want to discuss it at all. Unfortunate for them, I have a very happy and positive job, with wonderful special needs children. My days are filled with fun, and there are many more rewards than any other job I've ever had before. I love what I do and it has made me a lot more tolerant of all people.

 

But, I don't really want to discuss what I do for a living, I'd rather talk about anything other than work!

[gone_cruisin]

Might want to add anything to do with money. Whether it be how much you make, stock trading or how much you paid for the cruise.

[wvufan]

We always ask for a big table simply to meet and have fun with more folks, and our experience has almost always been great.

 

We were fortunate to be sailing for the two weeks preceeding the last presidential election, and there was not one word of politics. In fact, we got on Amtrak after we reached port the day of the election and did not know the winner until mid morning the day after. I suspect most of us were like minded because of some of the things said about other topics, but the election and candidates never surfaced.

 

I generally stay away from hot topics too, but we have occasionally clicked with our tablemates to such an extent that we could discuss most things with mutual respect.

 

In addition to the topics mentioned, I cringe when the subject of cruise cost comes up. While I like to learn about money saving ideas (excursions, hotels, TAs etc.), I don't want to know the specifics of that particular sailing. Such info either makes me gloat or be jealous, neither of which I enjoy.

 

Jetcruisers, you have everyone curious:) On our last cruise, after we got to know each other well, we thought about what it would be like to make up a whole identity and life story and try to pull it off for a cruise. I don't know if I could ever actually deceive new friends that way, but it is fun to think letting your imagination run wild.

 

OOOEEE :D :D Bob and Phyl

[dkjretired]

My guess is that you work in the insurance industry;) I know... you said you weren't going to tell, but you've piqued my curiosity:)

 

You should be a retired Police Officer, you here about how every ticket they got was not deserved and many other things. I never tell people what I did unless they ask.

[a1moty]

We are from Utah--so of course, the first question we always get is: Are you Mormons? It is kind of difficult to avoid the topic of religion after that.

On our last cruise we were seated with the Catholic Father on board to take care of religious services, an ex-nun and her husband, a mother daughter couple who were Baptist, two elderly women who didn't ever mention their faith and the artist in residence, who also happened to be Mormon.

It was a delightful event each night at dinner. If anyone had a question about another's religion they just asked, politely and were politely answered. I learned so much about the Baptist and Catholic churches on that cruise. It is nice to be able to understand another's beliefs so that you don't accidentally offend them.

There was no debate about who was right or wrong, it was a wonderfully relaxed and educational setting. Everyone treated each other and their faith with repect.

We would all switch places each evening so that we could have time to

visit with everyone at the table personally.

I realize that we might not be so fortunate this time, but we really enjoyed our dinner companions on that vacation.

[BobBeaSea]

Amen on these rules! We recently came off the Century and my wife & I like a bigger table to have conversation during our dinner, but behold, it happened. The 2nd night out 2 of the other couples started talking about the Iraq conflict and politics, I immediately put a stop to it.....big mistake, on the 4th night, they all ganged up and ignored my wife, she left the table in tears. Being the type of person she is, she composed herself, refused to get another table and on the 5th night went back and gave them some of their own medicine. She refused to let them ruin her cruise. In fact, they were now the ones that felt slighted. I would agree, keep religion and politics away from the dinner table.:D

 

While I do agree politics and religion are probably best avoided, if two other couples at the table were having a discussion on Iraq it certainly isn't my place to tell them what they can or cannot discuss between themselves...that would be quite rude. Why would you "put a stop" to two other couples' conversation? You can choose to participate or not....

[drfun48]

I prefer not to talk about food at the dinner table and I hate when others start passing food around for tastes.

But then again the liklihood that you run into someone who discusses someting you don't like is pretty high ,particularly at a large table.

I also prefer to be alone with my wife ,and with the children if they're with us.If you want the company of strangers ,you can always go to the restaurant lunch and you will not be stuck with the same people all week.

One exception to this was the Xpedition in the Galapagos where it appeared we were all like minded in our enthusiasm for the nature around us ,and little else was discussed except the experiences of the day. The "heavier' topics were often discussed at the bar(open and free all week),where you could get up and leave if you liked.

[Cruise Arizona]

Segundo, our wine steward on the Infinty was Indonesian, and because the country is mostly Muslim, and devout Muslims don't generally drink Alchohol, I was curious about how he got his training to be a wine steward.

 

We only talked about it breifly in that he said that you can't really get wine in Indonesia because of the religion, and if they have it at a resort it is very expensive.

 

But that made me curious, Was he a Christian? A Buddist? and again how did he get his training. Was he a Muslim, but not a stricted one??? Is there such a thing???? Many many questions??

 

But I was too afraid to be too personal and to pry....I mean would it have been embarrasing for me to ask him??

 

I love to hear about others peoples faiths as a1moty described her conversation. I have had wonderful experiences with others sharing thier faith and beliefs and dispelling myths or misinformation.

 

Unfortunately I have also experienced the other side of the coin where people have attacked my religion and tried to tell me why I'm wrong to believe what I believe, and they were not open hearing the full story, and it can get very ugly when you go down that path....Same if often true with Politics.

 

I'm up for a polite conversation on religion, but unfortuneately it can go very negative if the wrong people are in the mix.

[gone_cruisin]

Unfortunately I have also experienced the other side of the coin where people have attacked my religion and tried to tell me why I'm wrong to believe what I believe, and they were not open hearing the full story, and it can get very ugly when you go down that path....Same if often true with Politics.

 

That's exactly why I avoid any of the above named topics. I don't want to go down that road where someone at the table might get offended or hurt.

 

I have, on one occasion, been able to be more open to another couple that we sat with during one cruise. My husband and I got a really good vibe from them and as it turned out, we have become lifelong friends. While we still did not discuss politics or religion, towards the end of the cruise we felt we could open up finances/jobs.

 

I guess you could take it on a case by case basis, but more than likely if you were sitting at our table we would not participate in any of those conversations.

[LovetheSea]

drfun48... I agree about the food talk. It reminded me about a table mate we had on a cruise that was on the Atkin's diet. And that seemed all she could talk about the entire meal. What she should have? Explaing to us all about the diet. How everything we were eating was so bad for us. When we ordered desserts she gave us all sympathetic stares, like we are all disgusting for eating so unwisely. She would make a big dramatic issue about ordering cheese for dessert and going through each cheese deciding what would be O.K. to eat for her diet. Then she would take way too long picking out what tea she would have with it. I really think she used the whole thing just to get attention. But in all other respects she was pleasant to be with. When she wasn't around food.

And there are those people who just don't like anything they are served and complain about everything. Nothing is good enough for them to eat. One lady had her dinner entrée changed twice and finally after her third try, sat there pouting that she just wouldn't eat then. We all enjoyed the food. It was Celebrity food!

[Shirley and Les]

DW and I enjoy dining alone. Most of the deuce tables are small and inconveniently located. So we always ask for a large table.

On the first night, I make a point to tell our tablemates that the cruise is kind of a celebration. I continue to tell everyone I was just acquitted on serial killer charges :eek: and that I had a great defense attorney that was good at finding every loophole in the law.

For the rest of the cruise, we always have a great large table all to ourselves. :)

Les

[lysolqn]

DH is an attorney and once tablemates find out, two things happen - first, we have to sit through every lawyer joke told ever since the beginning of time; and, second, everyone has "just a quick question."

[dmk]

Save me from people who brag. On one cruise we had 3 other couples at our table...each one trying to out do the other.

I found all this boasting uncomfortable and should have had our table changed. Unfortunately, the situation started on the 3rd day of a 14 day cruise and felt stuck. But NEVER again.

[USSFRef]

All this reminds me of that scene in Monty Python's Meaning Of Life, where the American tourist couple is seated at a restaurant in heaven, and is given a menu of conversation topics.

[TN Vol Fan]

Les,

I just tell them that 9 of the 10 voices in my head usually tell me not to shoot. You'd be suprized at how many are missing from the table on the second night.

Cecil

[lambcom]

On a recent cruise, and I regret to say it was on Celebrity, my wife and I were seated at a table for eight. When asked what I did for a living, I said I was an Anglican (Episcopal) priest. I was immediately attacked (no other word is appropriate) for not being a true Christian, for being pro-abortion, pro-divorce, pro-gay marriage. We were accutely embarrassed as were the the fourth couple and we ended up leaving before dessert and getting assigned to a table for two. I just wasn't prepared to risk being hammered a second time.

 

Interestingly, not one of these people asked me or my wife what we believed or our position on these issues. Now, if i'm asked what I do for a living while on vacation, unless I'm more sure of my audience,I generally say I work in social services. This is, after all, supposed to be vacation -- a time when what we do during the rest of the year ceases to be important.

 

George+

[lysolqn]

How about when you're seated at a table with very lovely people - except for that one couple who would qualify as gold medalists if complaining were an Olympic event! Every night you have to listen to them complain about the ship, the cruiseline, the food, the staff, the weather, the ports, the entertainment, the cabin steward, the casino, the air-conditioning (or lack thereof), the beds, the showers, the winelist, the elevators...

[lisiamc]

How about when you're seated at a table with very lovely people - except for that one couple who would qualify as gold medalists if complaining were an Olympic event! Every night you have to listen to them complain about the ship, the cruiseline, the food, the staff, the weather, the ports, the entertainment, the cabin steward, the casino, the air-conditioning (or lack thereof), the beds, the showers, the winelist, the elevators...

 

Wow, you must have sat with my relatives! They can go clockwise around a plate at a meal, criticize everything on it, then eat every bite!

 

Lisa