Reasons Why The Idiom, "Friends of Dorothy" Needs To Be Retired...

[MiamiSpartan]

Please retire this topic.  It comes up every couple of years. Gets old. 

[Roy&Adrian]

Just one more thing...

As much as I love Judy's films, I was led to believe FOD came from the sequel to the Wizard of Oz, the Road to Oz, where a new character remarks of Dorothy's companions "You have some queer friends, Dorothy", and she replies, "The queerness doesn't matter, so long as they're friends." 

So ultimately, I guess, it doesn't matter.

[RICHARD@SEA]

On 2/26/2022 at 10:46 PM, MiamiSpartan said:

Please retire this topic.  It comes up every couple of years. Gets old. 

Just don't read the post....its interesting to see the different thoughts on the changing culture...and what the changes are..onboard & on land!!

[Megamixer]

I miss the Friends Of Dorothy get together.  My partner and I would always try to guess which night someone would show up and ask "just who is Dorothy that has all these friends?"

[TUS Airliner]

I’ll swing by, always have met some folks to hang and party with as a group.  For some folks they might be more comfortable meeting/hanging with other gay folks.   

 

If you don’t like it, just don’t go to them.

 

 

[Jay Es]

On 11/9/2021 at 4:44 PM, ONT-CA said:

If FOD,  once but no longer used, was considered a code, then what is the word "Gay"?  And labelling us like a bowl of alphabet soup isn't much of an improvement.  Upon noticing my multi colour breast pocket handkerchief, a passenger once asked "And what letter are you? 

 

 

I don't identify with Dorothy, but I also don't like the ever expanding letter combo. I wish there was one simple inclusive term that everyone could just agree with.

[Chad_O]

23 hours ago, Jay Es said:

I don't identify with Dorothy, but I also don't like the ever expanding letter combo. I wish there was one simple inclusive term that everyone could just agree with.

There is one...Human. 

 

I like FOD for its retro sensibility. As I mentioned before; men who were strong courageous individuals fought battles and cleared a path for me. In moments of levity they were happy to be FOD. I respect them and that decision. They made it possible to for me to be just a guy. Not a gay guy, not queer, not LBGTQ. Just a guy. I will come down off my soap box now. 

[RICHARD@SEA]

16 hours ago, Chad_O said:

There is one...Human. 

 

I like FOD for its retro sensibility. As I mentioned before; men who were strong courageous individuals fought battles and cleared a path for me. In moments of levity they were happy to be FOD. I respect them and that decision. They made it possible to for me to be just a guy. Not a gay guy, not queer, not LBGTQ. Just a guy. I will come down off my soap box now. 

I've been on cruises since the 1970"s & dont recall when the term & gatherings  "FOD" started onboard.  I grew up in NY & worked in NYC all my life (in banking/wall st & cosmetic industries) all the men I knew as friends & co workers were focused on their careers - some married(to women) some w live in partners & some dating.....there was never a need to pronounce our sexual preferences at work or onboard ship - we met "like minded" men through conversation, a glance , a nod etc.  

I applaud the younger generation & the mine for pushing for rights that were afforded other Americans ,,,,but to this day I am a man that has had relationships w men...on land & at sea. 

No need for flags, letters or in your face symbols.....  as I stated I have never attended a FOD...qrstulgbq gathering onboard any ship......and yet still have met so many interesting, worldly & fun men all through the years.

 

Chad - I agree with you.....no soapbox  - your opinion is a valid one......cheers

[Chad_O]

3 hours ago, RICHARD@SEA said:

I've been on cruises since the 1970"s & dont recall when the term & gatherings  "FOD" started onboard.  I grew up in NY & worked in NYC all my life (in banking/wall st & cosmetic industries) all the men I knew as friends & co workers were focused on their careers - some married(to women) some w live in partners & some dating.....there was never a need to pronounce our sexual preferences at work or onboard ship - we met "like minded" men through conversation, a glance , a nod etc.  

I applaud the younger generation & the mine for pushing for rights that were afforded other Americans ,,,,but to this day I am a man that has had relationships w men...on land & at sea. 

No need for flags, letters or in your face symbols.....  as I stated I have never attended a FOD...qrstulgbq gathering onboard any ship......and yet still have met so many interesting, worldly & fun men all through the years.

 

Chad - I agree with you.....no soapbox  - your opinion is a valid one......cheers

Richard, it is such a dangerous precedent for my opinion to be valid. My fear is that you will make it difficult for all those down the road...

On a more sincere note you seem to be the model of dignity and grace. People would be drawn to you and be left better for it. Regards,  Chad

[MJSailors]

Interesting posts with varying views on the nomenclature used for specific group gatherings on cruise ships.

I am  waiting for a group gathering MHSCCL- Married,heterosexual, seniorcitizen,chubby ladies group. LOL😉!

[Chad_O]

21 hours ago, MJSailors said:

Interesting posts with varying views on the nomenclature used for specific group gatherings on cruise ships.

I am  waiting for a group gathering MHSCCL- Married,heterosexual, seniorcitizen,chubby ladies group. LOL😉!

Can you imagine their Pride parade? A thousand marching ladies with a thousand straggling husbands following carrying the shopping bags!

[letsgogogo]

On 8/28/2021 at 12:04 AM, AmazedByCruising said:

Not sure what the American connotation of LGBTQ is, but to me it's "activism".

 

Interesting.  For sure, in the US, LGBTQ+ does not imply activism. Rather, just a population of individuals who are still facing discrimination, especially in rural places and conservative leaning communities. Especially so since emboldened by DT. An exception to this is with religious fundamentalists who see LGBTQ as having an “agenda” of recruiting others and other nonsense , simply because we wish to live life without being treated differently. As for FOD…agreed with the posts here. Increasingly our people don’t even know what it means, thankfully. 

[Blazerboy]

Been off the boards for several years...understandably, I guess. 

 

I love the traditional, but was also a "marching in the streets" type in my 20's and 30's.  We used to attend, but now mostly find a group of friends of all stripes quite naturally.  That said, just because I've entered (😯) my 6th decade and don't need it, others might, and good on them. 

 

LBGTQ+  might have a generational advantage as time passes, but my biggest hope is that we as a world don't lose our sense of humor...which is why I love the line about the community being called the "alphabet mafia!"   😁

[andrcan]

No more FOD but more alphabet on my last cruise in June)

[charliedalrymple]

When my husband and I were waiting in the check-in line in Southhampton for a QE2 crossing, a German man in front of us turned around and said (in heavily accented English), "Are you two of Dorothy's friends?"  It took me a moment....

[bigbenboys]

On 8/27/2021 at 10:34 AM, DenGNNJ said:

June 10, 2022 - Celebrity Millennium - Martini Bar - 7:30 pm. 😉

We were on that cruise. Did you meet Chuck and Jeff. 

[charliedalrymple]

Perhaps we could use the term "Friends of Bea Arthur" instead.

[Cruise Dragon]

as a Cis Bisexual male who identifies as Queer and has been out for over 20 years, I've always liked FoD for the tradition, BUT I can see the point of the original poster. The fact that we have this Board proves the point.

 

I'm married to a woman, so it isn't always apparent that I'm Queer. On the 4 cruises I've been on (last one in 2005) we have not made any of the FoD gatherings because of everything else happening on the cruise.

Edited July 17, 2023 by Cruise Dragon

[RickinNYC]

On 2/26/2022 at 10:46 PM, MiamiSpartan said:

Please retire this topic.  It comes up every couple of years. Gets old. 

PRO TIP/LIFE HACK:  Then don't read the post.  

[RBCal]

Only retired people know what FOD means.  IMHO it's a useful term to those who want to meet other mature LGBT people.  Judy Garland is a bit before my time but FOD is better than a lot of other euphemisms for gay people.

 

[RICHARD@SEA]

On 8/8/2022 at 9:47 PM, Chad_O said:

Can you imagine their Pride parade? A thousand marching ladies with a thousand straggling husbands following carrying the shopping bags!

You can see this any day of the year in a Florida Mall!!!

[RICHARD@SEA]

After rereading this posting something came to mind from a recent Doctor visit for an annual checkup. For the blood test a phlebotomist (mid to late 20's age group) came into the room & proceeded to prep me.  He was  nice enough & I felt comfortable with his abilities.  For some reason he brought up being a transgender (F- M) & how he felt about the current movement of being out & proud and letting people know of his "journey).

This went on for about 10 minutes - I just listened to him - and all I thought was " what the hell does this have to do with his job right now".  There is a time & place for everything. I find it just as offensive when a straight male or female tries to overdo it as far as sexual orientation as I do w gays.

 

For all the years & cruises I have been on since the 1970's as a gay man   never once did I have a nasty incident with a passenger (gay or straight) or office or crew.  Travelling on smaller ships in the 70's & 80's afforded passengers more chances of encountering & socializing w crew & officers....

I dated a few officers & enjoyed meals ashore & beach days w crew. I've danced w my partner and made great acquaintances onboard.

 

Instead of a political statement perhaps there should be more focus on the sea, stars & the moments onboard.

[fshepinc]

Between this thread and the "unfriendly gays" thread it's a wonder any gay people cruise at all. So many of the posts suggest we are either sex maniacs who can't contain ourselves, or singularly unpleasant people who can't carry on a friendly conversation at a public gathering. If you don't want to meet new people, just don't attend!

 

As a single cruiser I always appreciate the chance to meet others -singles, couples, or groups. I really don't care what they call it. If FOD is meaningless to the younger folks, by all means call it a Gay and Lesbian meetup -or any of the various alphabet stews that are in fashion. The point is to bring our community together, not divide us. 

 

In nearly forty cruises I've never come across "unfriendly gays." Sometimes you see people the first night and they don't come back -that's fine. I have never hooked up with anyone from a meetup, though I'm fairly sure others have. It's none of my business what other people do. I think if we do attend, we owe it to each other as human beings to be friendly and courteous. If we like the company, we can meet up again. If not, we can go our merry way -no harm, no foul. The ship and cruise line shouldn't matter at all.

[9tee2Sea]

• I may be very late to this thread, but my understanding of Friends of Dorothy went back to secretive days of being gay.  The " bars " doors were closed, so when one knocked, the person who opened it would ask Are you friends of Dorothy?  Now, it may have to do with Wizard of Oz, or maybe Dorothy Parker ( a famous writer way back), or maybe that was just a street slang gay folks were called ( like i hate it when Mary is used by other gay men).  anyway, I prefer FOD instead of whatever letters have been added to the alphabet.

[cruiseny4life]

I don't have a lot to add to this thread, other than it doesn't matter what the group is called. I'm a Millennial *gasp* and have known about Friends of Dorothy for a long time. Maybe I'm just up on the culture and all - don't think so. My husband and I aren't active in the "family." Do we still call it family? Or is it all community now?

 

Can't we just not really care about what it's called, kick back and have a conversation with each other on a cruise ship? I'm not sure why all the fuss.