Worried about dress code

[ghisl]

My husband and I have cruised before but never with HAL but still I think we'll be okay in the dining room as we know what to expect. However, we're taking my parents on their first cruise (Alaska in September) and I'm concerned about them standing out in their clothes which probably won't be appropriate. It's a delicate subject and I'm not sure how to handle it. They are both in their mid 70's and even though I've tried to explain to them in great detail what to expect, I'm sure they have absolutely no idea how formal these evenings can get. Dad has a navy sports jacket which is about as dressy as he will get (hopefully with a nice shirt and dress pants). Mom has a couple of iffy dresses which she wears to church on Sundays. They are not at all well travelled and they lead a very simple life. Dad is a retired blue collar worker and lives in jeans and a farmer's hat. Mom likes to shop at Wal Mart - need I say more. I know I'm probably sounding snobbish but that's not my intent. I'm really concerned about their feelings while on the ship. Will they feel out of place at all or are most people quite accepting? My husband tells me I worry too much and just let them be who they are. Perhaps he is right?

[fecombs]

Your husband is right. Please don't worry about what your parents wear to formal dinners on HAL. My husband and I have sailed HAL quite often and have found that most people wear what 'they' feel comfortable in. You will find long gowns, tuxs and even some blue jeans and lots of ladies in pant suits. Your Dad's blue blazer will fit right in, and if your Mom's dress is good enought for church, it's good enought for HAL. Just enjoy having them with you.

 

God Bless and have a great cruise.

Fran

[as41shots]

I would not pressure them into anything that makes them uncomfortable, even if their dress might make you feel like you are sticking out like a sore thumb (which I am not suggesting is the case).

 

Let them go, enjoy the cruise and all it has to offer. If other people are offended by their attire, they need to get a real life. You don't know how many more times you might have to take a trip like this with your parents. And that is the exact reason I am taking my family, my parents and my in-laws on an Alaskan cruise this summer. My mother-in-law has macular degeneration, and if we do not do something like this this summer, we might as well hold an ice cube to her nose next summer for all she will be able to see and tell her she is on a glacier. My parents went on an Alaskan cruise a few years ago and loved it, but my father, being a child of the depression, does not want to spend any money on another cruise, thinking he has to "leave something for the kids."

 

Go, enjoy, let them be them, and cherish the moments. You are doing a wonderful thing.

[Copper10-8]

Don't worry about it!! They'll be fine in what you described and so will you. It's not a fashion show! I saw many gents (old and young) wearing navy sports jackets and/or blazers with shirts and ties two weeks ago on the Oosterdam on formal night. If your mom wants to wear her sunday church clothes, she'll be fine also. Just go out and enjoy the cruise with your parents. It's a great feeling to still be able to do that, wish I could:)

[localady]

Excellent answers!!!!:D

I hope you and your parents have a lovely cruise and that they totally love Alaska!!:)

[ghisl]

You're both so right. It will be a wonderful week with my folks and the clothes are so non-important. What matters is spending that time with them and letting them experience something they've never done before.

[Copper10-8]

Excellent answers!!!!:D

 

I hope you and your parents have a lovely cruise and that they totally love Alaska!!:)

 

BTW, don't want to go OT but just to point out: LL, there seems to be a fully grown cow jumping next to your dolphin above the green

waters of the ocean:eek: Wasn't sure if you had picked up on that

[mechcc]

What you describe is just fine! I do suggest you don't go with a long formal and DH in a tux but dress to compliment their dress. Then have your picture taken as a group. I actually see more problem with them feeling uncomfortable versus other passenger's staring or commenting behind their backs. You might want to be on the lookout for others dressed the same way or even less formal, so that if they make a comment about being underdressed you can counter about that couple over there. Also, doubt you will not be able to find similar dress on a cruise to Alaska. Enjoy and help them enjoy! Time with parents is so limited.

[Bushdog]

There seems to be a fair range of attire for formal nights. And honestly, anyone who is going to get offended by two older people really need to look at themselves in the mirror. At 31, I fully understand and expect that people are going to expect me to conform to the requirements (but again, I enjoy dressing up), but at 70+ I definitely give them a pass.

 

What happened to respect your elders?

[AAAAmerican]

Attire is a personal choice in Church, in home and on board.. this is what has been making people go gawky for centuries....

 

Both ends of the spectrum exist...

 

NYC and Paris Fashion... and the other end..

 

DO you remeber a fellow named Charles Tandy?

 

That was when he had all the parts and Radio Shack was included too in it..

 

He wore Bib Overalls to the Board Meetings every time... being Chairman helps too... but it was his choice...:cool:

 

Your parents will be fine and to enjoy the cruise not woorrying about what petty people think.. if thats all people have top think about...in this area we have a term..

 

forgetaboutit.....:cool:

 

God Speed

[IKE]

My advice to you is to go and have a "Great Time" with your parents. They will do just fine and it will be a memorable occassion You will never forget.IKE

[CPT Trips]

All good answers. Our experience was that Alaska cruising in less formal than other itineraries.

[dakrewser]

It certainly isn't a question of others being offended by your parents dress - but will your parents feel uncomfortable? If not, then don't stress, but if you think they might - then start showing them pictures of cruisers in the dining rooms...

[kryos]

You'll find people all over the board as to dress on formal night. Some will be dressed to the nines and plenty of others will be "presentable." I agree with what others have said. Your dad's blazer will be fine. He may want to put on a tie, but he certainly won't need a tux or anything close to it. As for your mom, as someone else here put it so well ... if her dress is good enough for church, then it sure as heck is good enough for HAL. Especially on an Alaska itinerary ... a popular "family" type cruise ... I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't even have any formal nights ... or if many passengers ignored the dress code on those nights.

 

I've gotten into trouble on these boards because of this subject before ... but I still say that as long as they are "presentable;" i.e., your dad's farmer's jeans won't be appropriate in the dining room on any night ... that's all that matters. Personally, I've found lots of folks onboard who do the bare minimum to comply with formal night requirements. I'm one of them. I'm in good company.

 

Hope you and your folks have a great cruise!

 

Blue skies ...

 

--rita

[caribbean dreams]

Sorry to interupt everyone but i can't stop laughing about the cow and dolphin comment.

 

 

 

[kryos]

All good answers. Our experience was that Alaska cruising in less formal than other itineraries.

I'd even bet that in the next year or so mandatory formal nights will be done away with on Alaska and Caribbean itineraries.

 

But take a European or Panama Canal or other "extended" type voyage, and you will see quite a few people dressed to the nines ... and not just on formal night, but even sometimes on informal and casual nights. From my observations on the Amsterdam in January, it seemed that a lot of the older single ladies liked to really gussy up so that they could vie with each other for the attention of those dashing "gentleman hosts." :)

 

Blue skies ...

 

--rita

[mark1]

kyros,

 

you posted,

"Personally, I've found lots of folks onboard who do the bare minimum to comply with formal night requirements. I'm one of them. I'm in good company."

 

You seem to be saying that this is a statement of the acceptability of informality. It is not. Many do the bare minimum. Many do much more. However, some do much less. As was pointed out some think nice jeans are fine. They will not be "fine" until there are no formal nights. The bare minimum is overally formal indeed for many, on fomal nights and on informal nights.

 

HOWEVER, with regard to the issue at hand. NO ONE, NO ONE, should or will be so rude as to cirticize or looke sideways at an older couple dressed in their Sunday best (including a tie).

 

mark

[caviargal]

I'd even bet that in the next year or so mandatory formal nights will be done away with on Alaska and Caribbean itineraries.

 

But take a European or Panama Canal or other "extended" type voyage, and you will see quite a few people dressed to the nines ... and not just on formal night, but even sometimes on informal and casual nights. From my observations on the Amsterdam in January, it seemed that a lot of the older single ladies liked to really gussy up so that they could vie with each other for the attention of those dashing "gentleman hosts." :)

 

Blue skies ...

 

--rita

 

If this were the case, I would be very disappointed! And also quite surprised as many people still enjoy this traditional aspect of cruising.

 

I personally would stop cruising for sure as formal nights are a highlight of a cruise vacation for me. If I want casual dining, I live in FL and there is more than enough of that available here. It certainly is not what I want on a lovely ship.

[trubey]

I really like wearing my Tux and Susana loves to dress up too . . . but of course I would never snub anyone for not following the customs. It makes me feel snazzy and important, and after all, what are cruises but fantasies?

 

Perhaps your dad and mom might be tempted in some way? Like, take them to a Tuxedo Sales/Rental Shop and have him try on a few, as if he were buying?

 

You might get a BIG surprise!

 

Lane

[localady]

BTW, don't want to go OT but just to point out: LL, there seems to be a fully grown cow jumping next to your dolphin above the green

waters of the ocean:eek: Wasn't sure if you had picked up on that

 

Yikes John!!!!!

Someone stole my other dolphin and left me with a steak or 2!!!!!!

Maybe the Copper should get investigate after he is done 10-8ing!!!!:D

P.S. Thank you to all who choose a compassionate answer vs. the same ole' "formal" wear argument!!!;)

[RevNeal]

Not to steal thunder from my upcoming review of the Noordam, but this 10-day cruise from New York to the Caribbean was among the most formal cruises I've ever been on. Formal Nights saw an overwhelming number of men in Tuxedoes or, in the very least, dark suits. Yes, some were in slacks and sports jackets, but MOST (overwhelmingly most) were in Tuxedoes on all three formal nights. White dinner jackets abounded, especially, on the middle formal night.

 

Informal night saw most men in suits or slacks and sports jackets, with many men electing to wear ties those evenings. Not "all" but "many" ... probably even "most."

 

Even on Casual nights the number of men wearing jackets to dinner (with or without ties) was amazing to behold.

 

As for women: gowns, dresses, fancy pant-suits, furs, hats ... the ladies were dressed VERY well most evenings.

 

Yes ... on a Caribbean Cruise.

[michmike]

Was SO proud of everyone as we had gotten thru a page and a half with no one trotting out the old tired lectures and pedantics and had given the OP honest, compassionate advice ...

 

and then, in strolls the old "informality is not acceptable" folks. OP's question has been asked and answered.. let's not make this thread another 100 post rehashing of a topic that never has any winners

[RevNeal]

Was SO proud of everyone as we had gotten thru a page and a half with no one trotting out the old tired lectures and pedantics and had given the OP honest, compassionate advice ...

 

and then, in strolls the old "informality is not acceptable" folks.

 

I beg your pardon?

All I did was report what happened on the Noordam.

My report did not merit you name-calling and beating the crap out of me.

I issued no judgments, no evaluations, no "in-compassionate" remarks, no "pedantic lectures."

 

So ... LAY OFF.

[iceman93]

I'm not sure michmike's attack was intended at you, Greg.

 

In any event, I wholeheartedly second the poster who suggested that you and your husband dress up to a similar degree as your folks. That way, at least within your party, you'll all feel comfortable.

 

Another option that I'm surprised hasn't been suggested is having your parents try renting formalwear on board. It seems quite reasonably-priced, and that way they could both "dress to the nines" in a way it sounds like they've never been able to in 70 years on this planet. They might enjoy it just because of that!

[K&RCurt]

Was SO proud of everyone as we had gotten thru a page and a half with no one trotting out the old tired lectures and pedantics and had given the OP honest, compassionate advice ...

 

and then, in strolls the old "informality is not acceptable" folks. OP's question has been asked and answered.. let's not make this thread another 100 post rehashing of a topic that never has any winners

 

Please point out the posts which elicited this response.

 

I saw nothing resembling "old tired lectures and pendantics" until YOUR post above.