SnorkelBear Posted September 12, 2006 #1 Share Posted September 12, 2006 An engineer finally splurged on a luxury cruise to the Caribbean. It was the "craziest" thing he had ever done in his life. Just as he was beginning to enjoy himself, a hurricane roared upon the huge ship, capsizing it like a child's toy. Somehow the engineer, desperately hanging on to a life preserver, managed to wash ashore on a secluded island. Aside from beautiful scenery, a spring-fed pool, bananas and coconuts, there was little else. He lost all hope and for hours on end, sat under the same palm tree. One day, after several months had passed, a gorgeous woman in a small rowboat appeared. "I'm from the other side of the island," she said. "Were you on the cruise ship, too?" "Yes, I was," he answered. "But, where did you get that rowboat?" "Well, I whittled the oars from gum tree branches, wove the reinforced gunnel from palm branches, and made the keel and stern from a Eucalyptus tree." "But, what did you use for tools?" asked the engineer. "There was a very unusual strata of alluvial rock exposed on the south side of the island. I discovered that if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgeable ductile iron. Anyhow, that's how I got the tools. But, enough of that," she said. "Where have you been living all this time? I don't see any shelter." "To be honest, I've just been sleeping on the beach," the engineer said. "Would you like to come to my place?" the woman asked. The engineer nodded dumbly. She expertly rowed them around to her side of the island, and tied up the boat with a handsome strand of hand-woven hemp topped with a neat back splice. They walked up a winding stone walk she had laid around a Palm tree. There stood an exquisite bungalow, painted in blue and white. "It's not much, but I call it home." Inside, she said, "Sit down, please; would you like to have a drink?" "No, thanks," said the engineer. "One more coconut juice and I'll throw up!" "It won't be coconut juice," the woman replied. "I have a crude still out back, so we can have authentic Pina Coladas." Trying to hide his amazement, the man accepted the drink, and they sat down on her couch to talk. After they had exchanged stories, the woman asked, "Tell me, have you always had a beard?" "No," the engineer replied, "I was clean shaven all of my life until I ended up on this island." "Well if you'd like to shave, there's a razor upstairs in the bathroom cabinet." The man, no longer questioning anything, went upstairs to the bathroom and shaved with an intricate bone-and-shell device honed razor sharp. Next he showered, not even attempting to fathom a guess as to how she managed to get warm water into the bathroom, and went back downstairs. He couldn't help but admire the masterfully carved banister as he walked. "You look great," said the woman. "I think I'll go up and slip into something more comfortable." As she did, the engineer continued to sip his Pina Colada. After a short time, the woman, smelling faintly of gardenias, returned wearing a revealing gown fashioned out of pounded palm fronds. "Tell me," she asked, "we've both been out here for a very long time with no companionship. You know what I mean. Haven't you been lonely, too...isn't there something that you really, really miss? Something that all men and women need? Something that would be really nice to have right now! "Yes, there is!" the man replied, shucking off his shyness. "There is something I've wanted to do for so long. But on this island all alone, it was just...well, it was impossible." "Well, it's not impossible, any more," the woman said. The engineer, practically panting in excitement, said breathlessly: "You mean...you actually figured out some way we can CHECK OUR E-MAIL.!!" :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Betsy's Mom Posted September 12, 2006 #2 Share Posted September 12, 2006 Very good !:) B. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vpoopsy Posted September 12, 2006 #3 Share Posted September 12, 2006 i know an engineer that would do that!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kikiwik Posted September 12, 2006 #4 Share Posted September 12, 2006 Priceless Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happy cruzer Posted September 12, 2006 #5 Share Posted September 12, 2006 Very good Snorkel I love that one. However, DH is an engineer and I have always said that if we got stuck on a desert island we wouldn't even notice. He can make or fix anything! But I'm gonna pull that joke out tonight at dinner as see what happens. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jhannah Posted September 12, 2006 #6 Share Posted September 12, 2006 So, how she she swing the e-mail thing???? :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomc Posted September 12, 2006 #7 Share Posted September 12, 2006 I hold a Broadcast Engineer's license from the FCC. I don't get the joke. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bill S Posted September 12, 2006 #8 Share Posted September 12, 2006 Do you mean that she REALLY didn't have email capability????? :eek: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RuthC Posted September 12, 2006 #9 Share Posted September 12, 2006 I don't get the joke. Poor tomc. Poor, poor tomc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bepsf Posted September 12, 2006 #10 Share Posted September 12, 2006 Very Funny! Reminds me of my last Ex... :cool: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hammybee Posted September 12, 2006 #11 Share Posted September 12, 2006 Snorklebearguy: You made my head hurt. Can you, could you, will you hit "enter" every once in awhile and create a new paragraph, please oh please. Other than this, I like the story. Thanks for the ha-ha. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlohaPride Posted September 12, 2006 #12 Share Posted September 12, 2006 :eek: ROTFLMHO!!! I'm married to an electrician, and I don't think he would have done ANY of that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SDHALFAN Posted September 12, 2006 #13 Share Posted September 12, 2006 That is truly hilarious but ..., I have to echo hammybee: could you please hit the "enter" key every once in a while? Some of us are more "mature" (okay older) than others and it's hard on the old eyes if a paragraph break or two isn't offered every once in a while. I hate to sound old and crotchety, but my eyes just ain't what they used to be. Thank you, I loved the story and hope you will post more like that (with paragraphs of course;) ). Valerie:) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SnorkelBear Posted September 12, 2006 Author #14 Share Posted September 12, 2006 1000 appologies. It was a copy/paste job. It didn't look so dizzy before. I know what you are talking about. Just now losing the eyes of my youth. I will try harder next time. Until then, quit whining. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SanDiego Single Posted September 13, 2006 #15 Share Posted September 13, 2006 Whats so funny? Did she have a place he could check his email or not? :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hammybee Posted September 13, 2006 #16 Share Posted September 13, 2006 I have to echo hammybee: Valerie:) See Snorklebearguy: They are echoing me now, even when I whine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fcorey Posted September 13, 2006 #17 Share Posted September 13, 2006 :o you mean my blackberry wouldnt work there?!?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlohaPride Posted September 13, 2006 #18 Share Posted September 13, 2006 :o you mean my blackberry wouldnt work there?!?! Only if you could dry it off after being water logged as you had to SWIM to shore... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SDHALFAN Posted September 14, 2006 #19 Share Posted September 14, 2006 1000 appologies. It was a copy/paste job. It didn't look so dizzy before. I know what you are talking about. Just now losing the eyes of my youth. I will try harder next time. Until then, quit whining. I wasn't actually "whining" just making a polite request. So you are younger than I - so what? (she says, sobbing into her beer - actually I drink scotch). Still a great read - keep 'em coming, but once again with paragraphs, please. Valerie:D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rodree Posted September 14, 2006 #20 Share Posted September 14, 2006 Good story. Now I know why I`m not an engineer !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SnorkelBear Posted September 14, 2006 Author #21 Share Posted September 14, 2006 Sorry Val, That reply was meant for Cap'N Hammy. Part of our witty sparring. I did not seen your post until after I replied to Hammy. I took the constructive criticism and I will tirelessly pursue the skills required to construct easy to read posts. I know if I slip up again, Cap'N Hammy will send the spank squad after me. It's always sunny somewhere. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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