Why Do People Insist Formal Clothing Equals Uncomfortable??

[desperatehousewife]

Double post.....

[LiLBxQt]

At least for the ladies, i dont think formal has to be uncomfortable... i just think those of you that say that, arent picking the right clothes to wear. There are comfy shoes out there (you just have to take time to find em) Dresses do not have to be skin tight and sucking the life out of you. I really believe that if you do the right shopping, you can be comfy in formal wear! And btw, hose are outdated at this point. If you need something to control that tummy, I suggest doing some crunches before the cruise LOL It will be better for your health not just for the cruise but for the rest of your life!

 

As for the guys, i do feel bad that the collar is buttoned up the the throat with a tie to strangle you on top of that! They really have no choice in the formal clothing they wear so I can understand their point. BUT, you sit down for dinner for what approx 1-2 hours. Then you can leave dinner and loosen everything up right???

 

Just my 2 cents...

[Briny]

Interesting thread. Thanks to OP for posing the question. Hope it doesn’t devolve into a jeans-in-the-dining-room flame fest.

 

I guess I always assumed that when people say they find formal wear uncomfortable' date=' they aren't talking about physical comfort, but rather about comfort zones. [/size']

 

You may be on to something here. It has always puzzled me when guys complained that formal dress is “uncomfortable.” My tux is among the best-fitting and most comfortable suits I own. Yes, it’s more confining than shorts and tees, but none of the ladies compliment me on my appearance when I’m dressing down. They always do when I’m in formal. If it’s a tight collar and tie that’s a problem, guys can always opt for a slightly oversized mandarin collar and collar-button – very fashionable.

As with your example of hip-hop clothes, I too would be embarrassed and would never accept an invitation to a function where that dress code was specified. Nor would I accept the invitation, and then show up in violation of the host’s express wishes for the required attire. Likewise, cruisers have many options for casual cruise lines. They don’t need to choose a formal line and then flagrantly violate the stated dress code.

[GORDONCHICK]

For those of you who think that the official wording is "requested" for the particular dress code, some lines have changed to using "required" instead. Hopefully, actual enforcement will accompany the new wording.

 

I know it is possible for someone to feel uncomfortable as far as comfort zone, but I would think that NOT dressing as requested or required would be even more uncomfortable than the actual clothes themselves. I used to get a little uncomfortable going to functions w/DH when the only info on how to dress came from him. I now know to ask someone else who would know what's appropriate and dress us both in that manner. I don't know how many times he's been thankful that I asked someone else and got correct info!

[GORDONCHICK]

Likewise, cruisers have many options for casual cruise lines. They don’t need to choose a formal line and then flagrantly violate the stated dress code.

 

If only that happened more......

[karen sharpe]

Ahhh Civility..Thank you:p

The real and only discomfort I have with formal attire is deciding what I am going to take. DH does not like to tux it so he wears a black suit,a comfortable white shirt,tie and dress shoes. Knowing that we may be at the dinner table for a couple of hours I would never wear anything formal that is restrictive or binding .

Although some women can get pretty elaborate( and I love seeing their gowns) I have noticed that most of the other women are in long skirts or dressy silk pants with loosely fitted tops or jackets .... and most fabrics look very "friendly. Which brings us back to that interesting point perhaps the discomfort IS in the unfamiliarity of "dressing" up itself.:confused:

[Dremac373]

I personally dont mind dreesing up when teh situation calls for it, yes some people may be comfortable while others may not be, every one is different.. rather the ruise states "requested suggested required" or whatever its the cruise line themselves that should enforce this and make step to make the changes, I feel the flames start in these boards when one cruise voices thier opinion in a way that makes it seem that thier way is right and any one that disgrees is wrong!! no one whats to be told what they are doin or not doing is classless or tasteless just because you dont agree!! I see it time and time again when it comes to the Formal topic....Yes some people where suits day in day out at home and on a 4,5,7 day get away they want to unwind and put that every day routine behind them for a few days...I feel in my case that a nice shirt and tie and slack will be acceptable and the wife will wear a nice evening dress nothing foofy fooy..and I dont care what any one has to say..I paid my rate just liek the rest and for a 45-60 minute dinner I am going to wear what I feel is comfortabe at the same time acceptable, thuis does not mean that I was brought up in the fast food environment or lazy or any of the other terms some have used when describinng some one that does not want to wear a tux or some suit of formal gown its what comfortable to them.. If I were going to attend a nice dinner and play or musical then the tux will be more suitabe seing the night is extended and you are enteraining for the night.. but for 45 minutes or so on a cruise where the cruise line is not stepping up to make the change, dould be a little too much to ask!!!! As long as other people step trying to put those down verbally just cause they do not share your views I feel this and other topics will serve more helpful then fueled!!

[Briny]

For those of you who think that the official wording is "requested" for the particular dress code, some lines have changed to using "required" instead. Hopefully, actual enforcement will accompany the new wording.

 

I know it is possible for someone to feel uncomfortable as far as comfort zone, but I would think that NOT dressing as requested or required would be even more uncomfortable than the actual clothes themselves. I used to get a little uncomfortable going to functions w/DH when the only info on how to dress came from him. I now know to ask someone else who would know what's appropriate and dress us both in that manner. I don't know how many times he's been thankful that I asked someone else and got correct info!

 

The term “requested” is just polite-speak for “required.” A gracious host (cruise line) would never demand a certain form of dress from his/her guests (passengers). The host knows that he/she only needs to stipulate the dress code, and his well-mannered guests will respect his/her wishes and do what is expected of them. Well, that’s the way it should work IMHO. :)

Unfortunately, GORDONCHICK, I think you're right that it is turning into a case of enforcement --something that should just be a matter good social behavior.

[caviargal]

The term “requested” is just polite-speak for “required.” A gracious host (cruise line) would never demand a certain form of dress from his/her guests (passengers). The host knows that he/she only needs to stipulate the dress code, and his well-mannered guests will respect his/her wishes and do what is expected of them. Well, that’s the way it should work IMHO. :)

 

Unfortunately, GORDONCHICK, I think you're right that it is turning into a case of enforcement --something that should just be a matter good social behavior.

 

HAL and X have both reworded their dress codes to say "required".

 

Bottom line, however, is still that enforcement is random and good social behavior not something that can be counted upon.

[cruisemom42]

If you need something to control that tummy, I suggest doing some crunches before the cruise LOL It will be better for your health not just for the cruise but for the rest of your life!

 

Just my 2 cents...

 

 

Please, let's try to be respectful here. I'm not overweight. After a C-section and 2 abdominal surgeries, I cannot exactly do crunches and hope that it will solve the problem.

[madelinerose]

Darcie, IMO, yes it does. Dressing up is characterized by many as a "bother", a "hassle", a detriment to enjoying a vacation.

 

I consider dining at a nice restaurant to be an enjoyable evening. It is not about just filling the stomach, but about the overall experience. We go out about once a week (if we had more good restaurants to choose from where we live, it would be more often) and that is generally to an upscale restaurant. DH and I do not care for the family oriented chains and do not eat fast food but many do as I see lines out the door most nights in these places, with people very casually dressed. I assume that this then becomes the norm associated with dinner out.

 

Dressing for a nice dinner out is a normal event in our lives at home. On vacation, we get to enjoy this every night:). It is obvious from the sheer number of threads on this subject that many people do not view dining out as much more than simply filling their tummies.

 

Ditto....You've described DH and me to a tee! We dine in nice restaurants regularly, so dressing appropriately to dine on a cruise ship just follows suit. It's something that requires no discussion because we don't even think about it. Dining out is one of our favorite things to do and we think nothing of spending 2+ hours in a restaurant. I have read many posts where people avoid the specialty restaurants on ships because the meal "takes too long". I cannot relate to that.

 

 

Darcie...I have no idea why formal dressing is "uncomfortable" for many. I wear absolutely nothing that's uncomfortable - formal or not. ;)

[karen sharpe]

Please, let's try to be respectful here. I'm not overweight. After a C-section and 2 abdominal surgeries, I cannot exactly do crunches and hope that it will solve the problem.

 

Right you are dear..women should be understanding of other women and their "tummy" issues and men should keep it to themselves!!:p

[madelinerose]

I paid my rate just liek the rest and for a 45-60 minute dinner I am going to wear what I feel is comfortabe at the same time acceptable, thuis does not mean that I was brought up in the fast food environment or lazy or any of the other terms some have used when describinng some one that does not want to wear a tux or some suit of formal gown its what comfortable to them.. .. but for 45 minutes or so on a cruise where the cruise line is not stepping up to make the change, dould be a little too much to ask!!!! helpful then fueled!!

 

 

Why does it only have to be for an hour? Why not make a night of it? We surely do and many cruiselines request such.

[ATL-Cpl]

Maybe my experience can help some of the men that have uncomfortable issues. I wore rented tux's for a long time and I was always uncomfortable and overheated and something was always pinching or pulling. I went to a good tailor and had the complete outfit fitted, and he compensated for my long arms and in-between sizes neck, switched from an up to a down collar, and selected better quality silk cumberbund and tie. It is now one of my most comfortable dress-up choices. (except for the lack of arches in the shoes) Buy the tux if you are planning to go on more than two cruises. At about $125.00 to rent for one cruise, it will pay for itself on your third cruise.

[Dremac373]

Why does it only have to be for an hour? Why not make a night of it? We surely do and many cruiselines request such.

Make a night of what?? dinner?? sory but I paid my $$ for more than dinner. As I stated earlier I have not a problem with dressing up but not for an hour or so just for dinner on a cruise, if home and I was going to also include an even at a play, musical etc..then yeah I have no problem with a tux for a full evening even....just not for dinner I love the company of new people but I am not going to psen my even missing other activities just to please the likes of those that want to strut around in their "once a years" best!!

[CanuckCurlers]

Women: Ha! Yesterday I began seriously shopping for a gown for my son's wedding...so this is fresh and "on my mind"!

 

 

What memories . I was in the same position last summer. Having waited for the bride's mother to get her dress all the bridal stores laughed at me when I said the wedding was in two months. I then had the choice of prom dresses or cabaret singer dresses. After much searching I did find a fabulous dress which I love and which I know is probably too formal for the cruise we are going on but I'm wearing it anyway. It'll help with the dollar cost averaging. ;)

[karen sharpe]

With your reluctance to "dress up" Dremac you probably picked appropriate future cruises...relaxed tropical wear..:p

[madelinerose]

Make a night of what?? dinner?? sory but I paid my $$ for more than dinner. As I stated earlier I have not a problem with dressing up but not for an hour or so just for dinner on a cruise, if home and I was going to also include an even at a play, musical etc..then yeah I have no problem with a tux for a full evening even....just not for dinner I love the company of new people but I am not going to psen my even missing other activities just to please the likes of those that want to strut around in their "once a years" best!!

 

 

No, make a night of wearing your formal attire. Stay in your formalwear until you retire for the night. See a show, go to the casino or a lounge or stroll the decks in your formalwear. It makes for a great and classy way to spend the remainder of the evening after dinner. ;)

[GORDONCHICK]

The term “requested” is just polite-speak for “required.” :)

 

I know this, you know this, many know this. Seems as though some don't get it. Common sense is becoming less and less common.

[Smitty24]

No, make a night of wearing your formal attire. Stay in your formalwear until you retire for the night. See a show, go to the casino or a lounge or stroll the decks in your formalwear. It makes for a great and classy way to spend the remainder of the evening after dinner. ;)

 

And most cruiselines 'request' you remain in your dinner attire for the evening to keep the atmosphere, be it casual or formal.

[Dremac373]

With your reluctance to "dress up" Dremac you probably picked appropriate future cruises...relaxed tropical wear..:p

As I stated I dont have a problem with dressing up I stated in my 1st post that I will while my wife will wear a nice dinner/coctail dress...my beef was feeling that I HAVE to wear such attire to please the other cruiser or be called classles or tasteless!!!! I also am only going on a 1. 4day cruise and 2. crusie to no where just toe see what the differences are between the two lines?? the destination where not that much of a factor since we have beent to the majority of the loaction on our land based vactions to AI resort and have always dressed up for dinner at their themed resteraunts....but I refused to be called out my character or my social status just because we dont agree on what I or another person is wearing and what another peronson conciders appropriate! while the cruise line accepts it!! NOw dont get me wrong Karen I am not coming at you negativly (please trust) but I just dont like when some people bring class in other issues to the table whenever there is a disagreement is in place

[Dremac373]

No, make a night of wearing your formal attire. Stay in your formalwear until you retire for the night. See a show, go to the casino or a lounge or stroll the decks in your formalwear. It makes for a great and classy way to spend the remainder of the evening after dinner. ;)

 

Well Ilooked at the Sea Compass( I think thats the name) for my ship and there are planty of activies that my wife and I want to participate in that will not be very comforatble in wearing a suit and tie..as I mention before, while home I dont mind being all decked out, dinner show/ musical play whatever...but on my vaction for 4 days and for the amount I spent I am not thinking about anything else BUTU relaxation and enjoying everything that I can while one my 1st cruise!!! maybe if and when I gain that social later and can afford a cruise longer than 5 days thenmaybe I will wear the more socially correct attire for dinner and the whole even...maybe not, but for days?? I dont think so

[bububr]

John and I have NEVER found adhearing to the dress code uncomfortable.

 

We do sometimes go up and down in weight and have a GREAT local tailor to do alterations for us. When we approached him we advised him we were cruisers and he doesn't trim off a lot of extra, but finds ways to tuck it in just in case. At one point I lost almost 70 lbs on LA Weight loss, and my dinner jacket was huge on me. Instead of buying a new one he was able to take it aprt and recut it to fit me with a little room for the 'buffets' as he said...the cost a small 65.00. It would have cost me hundreds to buy a new one.

 

If the clothing fits, its as comfortable as wearing jeans and a t-shirt, if you are trying to stuff yourself into something too small you have a dietary problem and need to make adjustments.

 

For those who hate ties, there are button extenders which are elastic and ease the pull around your neck...you hardly feel the tie..they are so cheap they are practically free.

 

We love to dress up, altough John didn't own a suit till I met him, now he has suits, a tux, and a dinner jacket, not to mention he buys ties ( that he doesn't need ) and cufflinks ( which we have a boat load of ).

 

He recently started practicing tying his own bowtie .....Not bad if I may say.

 

Every man should own a dark suit for weddings and funerals, and a sports coat and ties for nice nights out. Its not that expensive, especially end of season sales. But find a good tailor, and wear clothing that fits the size you are, not the size you are trying to be, or think you are.

 

Dave:eek:

[caviargal]

Dave, I agree that improper fit is the cause for many of these complaints of formal clothing being uncomfortable. It is not unusual to see folks on cruises that squeezing into clothing that might have fit a long time ago, but does not any longer.

[bububr]

While I am in agreement with both your answers and mine, We are both trying to lose weight for this cruise in three weeks. Unfortunately one of our dogs passed suddenly and with quite a bit of pain ( can you say Burger King?) , not to mention after Thanksgiving, christmas, and new years, add two cruises on top of that and you have us. Granted its only about 10 lbs, but thats a challenge. We know have her little body's ashes safe on our mantel, but it still rings tears to my eyes when I look at the container.

 

Bottom line. We hope to lose 10 lbs in three weeks, if not I'll be at my sewing machine altering the night before ( I do Custom drapery and window treatments for a living ) . Thats only 3 lbs per week! if we come close, no need to change my thread.:D

 

Dave:eek:

 

BTW: After talking with John You came up as the #1 Person we would like to sail with in the future.:) He has never been on CC just followed.