Experiences in Dining part 2

[pnhmrk]

sorry, when i said "we" I meant michael and me, not the whole community.

 

To be honest I hadn't thought who you meant by "we". I just found Cunard's policy of giving us both the honeymoon package and then treating us both as if we were single travellers sharing a cabin rather amusing.:)

[scootrdud]

Hi Everyone-

My Partner and I have taken 6 cruises together, and only once did we have a couple not return to our table after the first night....don't know for sure it was because of us, but that was the general consensus from everyone else.

In fact, we've been very lucky to have found some wonderful tablemates before, even bonding enough to go to shows together, even shore excursions! I think people who don't take a chance and reserve a table for two or four instead of a large table are really missing out on a chance to meet some wonderful people!

In fact, the only really bad experience we've had on a cruise was when a ship photographer went around the room taking "couple" shots, and when he got to our table, he took shots of the other couples, then went on to the next table. I said "excuse me, you seem to have skipped over us", and the photographer looked our way and said "it's a romantic shot- only for couples", and I said to him "we are a couple"....believe it or not, he looked back at me, laughed, then turned away and kept making his rounds taking pictures at other tables- he never came back. I was mortified. The others at our table were very embarrassed, and didn't know what to say. My partner wanted to make a big scene and call over the maitre’d, but relented as I thought it would only make matters worse, and said I would take care of it in a civilized way.

When we got home from our cruise, I wrote a very professional, yet emphatic letter to the cruiseline, sending a copy to the president of the line, and sending copies to our ship's captain and cruise director. After 4 months, I received a generic letter from the cruise line, not even addressed to me personally, but to "Dear Passenger". The letter was generic, did not refer to the specific incident at all, and included a $100 voucher for a future cruise. It should be noted that I did not ask for anything in my letter, except that they provide the ship's crew with better diversity training. Well, we tore up that voucher, and have never cruised with them again. The line, by the way, was RCCL. This was seven years ago, and we haven't had any problems since.

Looking forward to our next cruise in May!

[sexyaznboy]

Thanks for sharing your experience...I guess homophobia these days still exists but is probably a lot more dangerous because it is less socially condoned...but unfortunately it seems to be more covert and harder to detect than the in your face kind.

 

Sometimes you can deal with things you can see, its when attitudes exist that are not spoken that could be much worse.

 

Hi Everyone-

 

My Partner and I have taken 6 cruises together, and only once did we have a couple not return to our table after the first night....don't know for sure it was because of us, but that was the general consensus from everyone else.

 

In fact, we've been very lucky to have found some wonderful tablemates before, even bonding enough to go to shows together, even shore excursions! I think people who don't take a chance and reserve a table for two or four instead of a large table are really missing out on a chance to meet some wonderful people!

 

In fact, the only really bad experience we've had on a cruise was when a ship photographer went around the room taking "couple" shots, and when he got to our table, he took shots of the other couples, then went on to the next table. I said "excuse me, you seem to have skipped over us", and the photographer looked our way and said "it's a romantic shot- only for couples", and I said to him "we are a couple"....believe it or not, he looked back at me, laughed, then turned away and kept making his rounds taking pictures at other tables- he never came back. I was mortified. The others at our table were very embarrassed, and didn't know what to say. My partner wanted to make a big scene and call over the maitre’d, but relented as I thought it would only make matters worse, and said I would take care of it in a civilized way.

 

When we got home from our cruise, I wrote a very professional, yet emphatic letter to the cruiseline, sending a copy to the president of the line, and sending copies to our ship's captain and cruise director. After 4 months, I received a generic letter from the cruise line, not even addressed to me personally, but to "Dear Passenger". The letter was generic, did not refer to the specific incident at all, and included a $100 voucher for a future cruise. It should be noted that I did not ask for anything in my letter, except that they provide the ship's crew with better diversity training. Well, we tore up that voucher, and have never cruised with them again. The line, by the way, was RCCL. This was seven years ago, and we haven't had any problems since.

 

Looking forward to our next cruise in May!

[MattInFLL]

I guess when I said endemic... I meant that the pervasiveness and silliness can occur anywhere - land or sea. On Cunard, we experienced the formal photographer who needed - and took- an attitude adjustment... on HAL, RCI, and Celebrity, it was simply not an issue. RCI cared the least that two guys or a group of guys wanted to dance, and found ample and wonderful support among the passengers - very much a live and let live and let's party atmosphere. On my explorer cruise I can not tell you how many straight guys and straight couples wanted to hang out with us...get to know us..and show the rest that they were not going to get cooties from us....the world is evolving.but unfortunately there are still those who cling to the ugliness that resulted in my friend being pummeled and kicked in the head by women in heel for doing nothing more than asking thenm to stop calling us ******s and egging us on....and then wheb let go by security annouced they would kill all the ******s..and found one our lesbians and kicked her to the ground and kicked in her eye, causing permanent damage....but on subsequent sailings they seem to have shown a new tolerance of the issue. I certainly doubt it would happen again - at least as to the ship's actions"

 

Real life today means you meet mostly wonderful and tolerant people,and a few annoying naysayers who disrupt your day for a few minutes...and then a few more extreme people for whom tolerance is not an option....but once again, I swear to you that coming out, that letting the world know you are gay is a positive message with positive results. It shakes up perceptions of people who now have to reconcile their love and friendhship for the formerly closeted person...and more times than not, it reconciles in favor of the gay person... and at least a few straight people begin to realize that there are good gay people in the world -and they know them well and sometimes intimately -and that totally whacks out their pre-knowledge thought about gay people. Gay people are not just an expression from the pulpit anymore - they are your friends, the ones you have trusted and still trust. The strength of inter-human bonds trumps all the conjecture, and straight minds are changed.....it is very powerful. My 15 year old very Catholic neices coould not wait to have their friends over to meet Ralph - we were the gay celebrities...and how cool it was for them to have a gay uncle and his partner. Times change. Stories and love win out. Tell your story and you will be amazed.

 

Now I will get down off my soapbox...

[MattInFLL]

Ummm - this is very weird - I did not post the above post yesterday...and I was asleep when it said I posted...and I'm not a sleepwalker... and it is not what I would have posted here. I have been that soapboxy before, as you know..but this is just very odd...because I have been trying very hard not to be soapboxy on this particular thread. Anyway, take the above, and scale it back a bit. Maybe it's time to change the password. :)

[achman228]

Hi all, thanks for sharing your stories. The only curise I had was with Atlantis to Alaska last year and we never had any problem (hehe :D). Only one night were two friends talking only to each other but they were friendly and polite so it's not too bad. Honestly, I never thought about this subject before when I booked my next cruise. This will be my first "regular" cruise and I hope Cunard will treat us well during our crossing.

[pnhmrk]

I hope Cunard will treat us well during our crossing.

 

If you're with Cunard then you must be sailing on one of the Queens. I've never been on the Mary but I understand that her reputation as being "gay friendly" isn't that far from the Elizabeth. The name queen goes much further than just being the name of the ship;)

[achman228]

If you're with Cunard then you must be sailing on one of the Queens. I've never been on the Mary but I understand that her reputation as being "gay friendly" isn't that far from the Elizabeth. The name queen goes much further than just being the name of the ship;)

 

Yes, will be on Mary in a few weeks (heard of Commodorthy ;)). It's the early spring crossing so I don't expect too many passengers onboard. We only requested a table for six and hope that's not a bad decision.

[skf]

Sexyaznboy's Questions Reminds Me Of Our Table On Golden Princess In 2002. The Waiter & Assistant Loved Us, The Maitre-d Loved Us, All Our Tablemates Loved Us(except 1 But She Was A Cranky Person Anyway) But They Could Not Fill The Two Left-over Seats At The Table Because One Night It Was Religious Fundamentalists-they Left---and Then It Was Someone Who Wouldn't Even Look Our Way-they Left--- And We Spent The Next 9 Nights With 2 Empty Seats.

Oh, Well! Steve & Pete

[RichardE954]

We've always had good luck with tablemates. On our last cruise to Alaska in 2004, we met a straight couple at breakfast the first morning and we spent the rest of the cruise together meeting at the martini bar before dinner every night. We're still friends and we've even flown out to Oregon and stayed with them. I can understand the apprehension of sitting with strangers, however if you're not comfortable, request a change. You're paying good money to have a nice time and the staff understands that.

[psychboss]

First, before I was a Travel Agent, my DH and I went to our assigned table for 4 and our tablemates were a lesbian couple. To start with one half of the couple was dressed in a NBA, shorts outfit. Now she was quite short so the shorts came down to her knees BUT shorts are shorts and rules are rules. I considered this inappropriate dress for anyone. Next, they spent the entire meal necking. I find this inappropriate dinner table behavior from anyone. We asked to be moved to a 2 top and we were. I have no problem with anyone sexual orientation, I won't ask you what you do in your bedroom and you don't ask me what I do in mine. BUT please do not do it at the dinner table I am sharing with you. I did not move away from them because they were lesbians, I moved away from them because they had no manners and no couth.

 

Now I am a TA and I LOVE my job! I have a GREAT guy, that does my hair, he and his partner own the salon where I go. When they found out that I was a TA they asked if I could help them with an Atlantis Event Cruise. We live in a very small town. They had gone to the TA (in a building) where we live and TA there almost passed out when they asked about Atlantis Events. I told them I would help them with anything they wanted. I helped them pick a cruise they wanted, discounted it and then gave them generous onboard credits. Needless to say I did not make very much, but to me it is all about service and treating people right! The lady that chased them out of her building is a prude and an idiot. She forgot she is in business to "sell dreams" EVERYONES DREAMS"!!!

[Blazerboy]

Mary Anne/Pyschboss,

 

Sorry for your experience with the table...I have never "necked" at a diningrooom table in my life! :eek: (O.k., maybe at home, alone with my partner...;) ) Some would argue that it's my loss...

 

But I've been at tables with people who were what we might all call "overly romantic." And it's not necessarily fun to watch, I agree.

 

But I think many in our community have noticed the same thing that I have: imagine a woman giving her boyfriend a peck on the lips when he says something particulary sweet, such as "I'm so lucky to have found her..." or kiss him on the cheek as she leaves the table for the night, leaving him to enjoy coffee while she goes off to see a show. No problem, right? Now change the pronouns to make it a gay or lesbian couple- some people react to that as a show of innapropriate affection, and might even say that they were "necking" at the table. :rolleyes: We deal with this double standard all the time.

 

I don't expect to have to tolerate "necking" from anyone, and neither should you, but do understand if folks here are a little sensitive to your comments. There are people who would complain to a cruise employee if we held hands, let alone kissed. I try very hard not to censure my behavior in public, because I'm confident that my behavior is always appropriate- but there are plenty of bigots out there who would disagree.

 

I think your heart is in the right place, but just wanted to give you another picture of what folks in our community might be experiencing. And thanks for taking good care of "the boys" for their vacation. Everyone deserves a TA who works hard for them.:D Oh, and I'm right there with you on the dress code thing, but that's another story...

 

Andrew:)

[phunkymatt]

Hey,

Glad to hear most people have good experiences. The first cruise I went on with my boyf was on the RCL Explorer of the Seas. There is a big age gap between me and the boyf so people are always interesed in how we know each other especially as we are two men trabeling together. On the first cruise we had couple and no one mentioned anything. We got on well with everyone and had our pictures taken etc. It was cool.

 

During that cruise we met a gay couple an dtheir two friends.... and went on the same cruise as them (and their relatives) this year. We dragged up most nights, were part of the parade of the promendade (this was not a gay-only cruise!) and everybody loved it. The waiters asked us to participate in heir end of cruise show. We obliged and the who resturant (three storeys of people) saw us. We had so much fun and most people thought we were part of the crew.

 

We have now book our third cruise and will be on the Explorer again. We sail from New Jersey in Feb 08 and I know it will be just as fun....

 

Basically, my dining experience has never been a problem other than it feels slightly umcomfortable when you meet new people for the first time.

[kwsunset]

I just returned from a Baltic cruise on the Century. The cruise was wonderful as were all the guests at our table for eight. The highlight of the cruise, however, was my partner and I being invited to the Captain's table on the last formal night. Not only was it a suprise, it happened to be my 65th birthday. That was great, BUT there is more.

 

The table consisted of 8 plus the captain and the safety officer's wife. Five were gay --a writer, a lesbian and her gay brother, and my partner and myself. The mother of the bother and sister along with a straight couple, made up the rest of the table. We all had a great time. I do not think the Captain's Club's hostess knew anyone was gay expcept my partner and me. Times have changed. Thank you Celebrity!

 

Michael

[dcikon2]

My partner had 1 poor experience in the dining room on Norwegian Voyager of the Seas. Prior to the cruise we received our table assignments. However, when we went to eat during the first night the waiters and other staff members could not find the table. They never heard of it. They took us by where our table was supposed to be and it was clear that something had happened. We were finally sat at a table for 2 next to where they pile the dirty dishes. Needless to say, my partner was very upset. The staff attempted to solve this problem by offering us free alcohol (we don't drink). We were finally moved to another table and met a GREAT (straight) couple from Barcelona. We even spent time together off of the ship while in port. They thought there was a little homophobia/discrimination going on. I will admit that everything turned out well.

 

Gary