Experiences in Dining part 2

[sexyaznboy]

I've asked the moderator to delete the thread I had started regarding my friend having problems with a couple he encountered on the cruise who said they were moving tables because they had problems sitting with a gay couple. This is because the thread was getting way too nasty and off topic. As a reminder, this couple was very civil and simply left the table and wasn't overtly nasty. But still homophobic nonetheless! I would have personally been bummed out if that had happened to me...

 

I'd like to restart this ON TOPIC thread about good and bad dining experiences you've had with others at your table and if you've had derogatory homophobic comments made at you, your friends or your partner, and how you dealt with the situation.

 

Most of the posts I've read have been quite positive. I'd be interested in hearing about your dining experiences, good, bad and indifferent.;)

 

Please lets not let this degenerate into another judgemental thread about the social and political ramifications of being out of the closet. You know who you are! You can do another thread for that....

[Host Dan]

We have never had any negative experience on a cruise ship. We have mostly sailed the smaller ships such as Seabourn, and actually have enjoyed seating at Hosted tables with different passengers every night. We have always been treated in a very respectful manner.

 

Host Dan

[Mikew0805]

Hiya,

 

All my experiences have been fine. One time we actually met a lady ( Debbi ) in the aft lounge during a comedy show on the Imagination. It was the first sea day, and after that we spend the rest of the cruise hanging out. She was there with her friends, who we didn't see much of. We talked a long time after that, and somehow when I moved 3 years ago, I lost her information.. and we have not spoken since. :( I wish I could find her information!!

 

So all have been positive thus far.

 

 

Happy cruising,

 

-Mike

[sexyaznboy]

We have never had any negative experience on a cruise ship. We have mostly sailed the smaller ships such as Seabourn, and actually have enjoyed seating at Hosted tables with different passengers every night. We have always been treated in a very respectful manner.

 

Host Dan

 

Thanks Dan, I'll be on Celebrity, half the fun is meeting new people, isn't it? :D I think the experience of my friend is the exception, not the norm, from what I've read. Are there more gay friendly lines than others?

 

And Mike, I'm glad you survived the little battle/war you had with your sparring partner on our ex post...hopefully we can find out more about everyone's dining experiences!

[djvand]

Just wanted to let you all know about the experinces me and my partner have had on our cruises. We were on Holland America, and met a ton of very friendly people. In fact, by the thrid day of the cruise, we even hosted a party in our suite for about 20 people. One family came with grandparents, parents and two young children. We were very surprised at the reception we got. We are laid back happy guys, and I think once people get to know us as people, instead of gay people, there are never any issues. We are going on a cruise this fall with a mother and daugher we met on our last cruise. Nothing but good experiences for us!

[Mikew0805]

And Mike, I'm glad you survived the little battle/war you had with your sparring partner on our ex post...hopefully we can find out more about everyone's dining experiences!

 

HeHe :D

[bdjam]

It is very difficult to relate my experiences without “degenerating” into the scope of the previous discussion because that’s part of the way I handled the situations. I think asking this kind of question and them limiting – or asking the moderators to limit – the scope of the discussion is a little like asking someone to tell a full length story by answering one close-ended question.

I’ve dealt with straight people who have either made homophobic statements to me and my partner or who were uncomfortable sitting at the dining room table with us on two different cruise ships. I’d tell you how I dealt with those situations, but in order to justify my actions, I'd have to "degenerate" the thread. :rolleyes: But I will pat myself on the back because I think my speaking out changed a few minds.

 

But it's OK - I think the comments made above about posters who may disagree with your opinions are enough to keep me out of this one. Someday we'll hopefully all come together.

[sexyaznboy]

It is very difficult to relate my experiences without “degenerating” into the scope of the previous discussion because that’s part of the way I handled the situations. I think asking this kind of question and them limiting – or asking the moderators to limit – the scope of the discussion is a little like asking someone to tell a full length story by answering one close-ended question.

 

I’ve dealt with straight people who have either made homophobic statements to me and my partner or who were uncomfortable sitting at the dining room table with us on two different cruise ships. I’d tell you how I dealt with those situations, but in order to justify my actions, I'd have to "degenerate" the thread. :rolleyes: But I will pat myself on the back because I think my speaking out changed a few minds.

 

But it's OK - I think the comments made above about posters who may disagree with your opinions are enough to keep me out of this one. Someday we'll hopefully all come together.

 

 

The point IS that the thread got VERY NASTY and PERSONALLY VICIOUS, and that is why the moderator was asked to take it off. You've made your point abundantly clear, insults can be subtle as well as blatant. That is how everything started to escalate. Hope you are glad you got your say before it "was enough to keep you out of this one". No hard feelings. Happy cruising.

[aaerobear]

I have to say we have never had unpleasant experiences onboard any ship we have sailed on.

 

We, however, are not in the closet and have never hidden who we are. Still have not had a bad experience.

 

As far as denegrating this thread, you already did it in the first posting with your last paragraph. If you truly did not want conflict, you would have simply left off that last zinger.

[sexyaznboy]

I have to say we have never had unpleasant experiences onboard any ship we have sailed on.

 

We, however, are not in the closet and have never hidden who we are. Still have not had a bad experience.

 

As far as denegrating this thread, you already did it in the first posting with your last paragraph. If you truly did not want conflict, you would have simply left off that last zinger.

 

I don't know if you did follow the last thread, but it got really bad, and if I didn't explicitly say it, it would have followed the same path. Sorry you felt that way. I appreciate the feedback.

[Schplinky]

When we went on Enchantment, we were seated with a family of four (two college aged daughters) and a couple of single women. We were as out as we are anywhere, which is to say we introduced ourselves as a couple and then got to know the other people. The family seemed very conservative but we are still in touch with them a year later, since we all got on like a house on fire. Before the cruise, my fear was that we would wind up sitting with some conservative family and that there would be a judgemental confrontation or they would just switch tables. We did get a conservative family but we also got new friends into the deal. Our bad for presuming that life is a package deal.

[sexyaznboy]

When we went on Enchantment, we were seated with a family of four (two college aged daughters) and a couple of single women. We were as out as we are anywhere, which is to say we introduced ourselves as a couple and then got to know the other people. The family seemed very conservative but we are still in touch with them a year later, since we all got on like a house on fire. Before the cruise, my fear was that we would wind up sitting with some conservative family and that there would be a judgemental confrontation or they would just switch tables. We did get a conservative family but we also got new friends into the deal. Our bad for presuming that life is a package deal.

 

Guess it goes to show that sometimes you can't judge a book by its cover! :p

[Mikew0805]

You know I just thought of something else that I did back in May or June! We booked the cruise below, and joined the roll call. Knowing the cruise we booked would have a more mature crowd, I requested a table for two. I did this for two reasons. First, I thought maybe we might make someone feel uncomfortable at a table. ( please don't take that as wanting to "hide", if we were hiding, they would not be uncomfortable anyway. Just no reason to make waves if it is unnecessary ) Second, we thought 15 nights alone would be nice as it will be a celebration of 12 years together! Then a few weeks later, I thought.. Hmm maybe 15 nights at dinner with no other conversation besides with ONLY Josh, is not the way to go LMAO :D :D. So I posted on the roll call, explained who we were and didn't want to offend anyone! Well the responses were all the same.. They could care less who we were as long as we were fun, and that we could sit with any of the responders. There must have been at least 20 who responded!

 

So now we will not be sitting alone, with the exception of a few nights at Chops and Portofino.

 

Happy Cruising,

 

-Mike

[Oslo Dutch]

Personally as a gay man I have never had problems with table mates and usually got on very well with everybody. The best table ever was on a long cruise on Oriana. We had a table of eight with great people and got on very well indeed.

When I traveled with a boyfriend on the Maasdam, we had a lady at our table who became very outspoken after a couple of days. Just to say you look great as a couple and should move in together. Very sweet.

 

I have to say some straight people have been far more friendlier, outgoing, interested and socially intelligent than some guys on Atlantis.

[Bramcruiser]

Of our three cruises, the closest we came to anything was a suspicion over a couple at our table the first night on our most recent cruise on the QM2. We were at a table for six and I suspected right away that one married couple was somewhat friendly and the other was more cool and had nothing nice to say about the ship and the service despite just getting on board not long before departure. The male was the typical army type - actually he was also a retired commercial airline pilot - and the woman was the typical ice princess who thought she was the Queen despite the fact they travel in a trailer - not that there is anything wrong with that. Anyway, I was suspicious on night one that the ice princess and army guy weren't too happy over my partner and I but they never said anything and never treated us badly. The first couple actually made a point of saying that they hope to see us back the next night which told me they knew what was going on.

 

Sure enough - on night two - the ice princess and the army guy (Joanne and Cliff, by the way) never showed up. The first couple saw them during the day and were told that they "managed to get a table with friends they knew so were likely going to be somewhere else for the rest of the cruise". Just as well! The four of us who remained spoke freely on the second night and we hit it off. We all felt the same way about the ones who departed and ended up having great conversations for the remainder of the week.

 

So overall I am glad my experiences to date have been somewhat positive but I figure if someone has a problem with me being gay then it is their problem. If they can't get over it then they shouldn't be there. If they are nasty and won't move then I would. Life is too short and a cruise is even shorter to worry about unreasonable people.

 

David

[pnhmrk]

I requested a table for two.

 

We have always booked a table for tow (or four if we're going with my parents!). We have never found it isolating but have seen people about the ship and thought "imagine sitting on a table with them ....":eek:

Occasionally, if the restaurant is on an open seating, I have been sitting with people not in my party and found some of them dreadful (they might have found me dreadful as well); I think it's wiser not to take the chance.

[Schplinky]

Guess it goes to show that sometimes you can't judge a book by its cover! :p

 

Presuming that all conservatives are alike is like presuming all gays will have a clue what the term Friend of Dorothy means!

[Bramcruiser]

I think it's wiser not to take the chance.

 

Strangely, Malcolm, what you said describes me in most situations as it would be more like us to do a table for two and shut out the rest of the world. However..............I tend to not be like myself on a cruise and actually have booked tables larger for the sake of seeing an odd collection of people and finding out where everyone is from. I figure we tend to do our own thing during shore excursions and onboard during days and evenings so the meal is the only chance we get to socialize. Granted it can turn into a horror story but I think that, despite the one tablemate from the hot place, most people are interesting and accepting. Call me naive!

 

David

[pnhmrk]

Granted it can turn into a horror story ..... most people are interesting and accepting.

 

David - the incident I was thinking of (although certainly not the only one) was sailing from Southampton. We were due to sail late, probably about 10-00pm, and Mauretania was running an open sitting - they didn't bother about assigned places or anything, you just sat wherever there was space. We ended up on a table of 12 where there was one man who was so loud, so arrogant/ignorant (not homophobic - just rude) that he dominated the conversation for the entire table. We left dinner early when we couldn't take any more and vowed that we'd never willingly take a shared table!

[sexyaznboy]

David - the incident I was thinking of (although certainly not the only one) was sailing from Southampton. We were due to sail late, probably about 10-00pm, and Mauretania was running an open sitting - they didn't bother about assigned places or anything, you just sat wherever there was space. We ended up on a table of 12 where there was one man who was so loud, so arrogant/ignorant (not homophobic - just rude) that he dominated the conversation for the entire table. We left dinner early when we couldn't take any more and vowed that we'd never willingly take a shared table!

 

Hey Malcolm, it definitely is a hit and miss proposition if you don't ask for a table of 2. Last time we sat in a table for 10 and it was relatively pleasant, no major conversations (everyone was busy eating! LOL) but no attitude either. I'm taking my mom, and we'd probably prefer to eat in private. I hope we get our table for two, they still haven't confirmed, although the CSR told me over the phone that "our TA did a good job, and by the tone of her voice I should know that everything is ok"...LOL

 

The only thing is we are trying to get early seating, eating at 8:15 is too late, by the time you finish its 10 and I'd prefer to have a heavy meal earlier on.

[pnhmrk]

The only thing is we are trying to get early seating, eating at 8:15 is too late, by the time you finish its 10 and I'd prefer to have a heavy meal earlier on.

 

That puzzles me - what do you do with your evening if you don't spend it eating? (I'm not being funny, I just can't understand why anyone would want to eat at 6-15) If we're ever in a restaurant that has two seatings then we wouldn't want the early seating - you've to get ready early, eat early and then spend the rest of your evening thinking "What do I do?". When we're in a restaurant with open seating we'll be going to eat at about 8-30 at the earliest - the meal then forms your evenings entertainment.

[sexyaznboy]

That puzzles me - what do you do with your evening if you don't spend it eating? (I'm not being funny, I just can't understand why anyone would want to eat at 6-15) If we're ever in a restaurant that has two seatings then we wouldn't want the early seating - you've to get ready early, eat early and then spend the rest of your evening thinking "What do I do?". When we're in a restaurant with open seating we'll be going to eat at about 8-30 at the earliest - the meal then forms your evenings entertainment.

 

I can understand the dining as entertainment side of things...mainly I think that if I am going to eat a big meal, and not finish by 10:00pm at the earliest, I have problems digesting my meal, and have problems sleeping if it is around midnight even. I somehow doubt I'm going to be partying all night esp if I am planning on waking up early (7am to go to the gym and use the pool!). So after the early dinner, we may walk around the ship, might even go to the gym again if open, hit the martini bar, and go to the shows....so I think there will be a lot to do after an early dinner!

[Schplinky]

We eat at 6:15 and spend the restof the evening going to shows, bars and other events oboard. On land, we would eat at 7 and then make the meal last longer.

[Suite Travels]

We take a table for two unless we are traveling with friends. If we meet another couple whether they be straight or gay we usually join them at one of the specialty restaurants.

 

We cruise mostly on Crystal and we are probably one of the younger guests. What is really funny is that we are always asked if we are brothers? We look nothing alike. My partner and I are very engaging to everyone and we feel comfortable socializing. Most people figure us out in a few days. We have never encountered any problems.

[newfarmers]

Our one and only cruise experience so far has been on the whole positive - Infinity Alaska and then Hawaii on consecutive cruises in Sept 04.

 

Table assignment on first cruise was disappointing in that we were sat at a 10 with seven other people - three other Aussies (we are gm couple 43 and 37 from Brisbane Australia), a couple on honeymoon from Boston and a mother and daughter from Italy. The Aussies were boorish (and we didn't travel across the Pacific to be sat with Australians); the Italian couple very elegant and they didn't come back after our first meal due to comments made by the Aussies. We have stayed in contact with the Boston couple - Elaine and Ralph have just had their first child!

 

Our only negative on this cruise was when we were waiting in the queue to have a formal photos taken the couple in front of us made a snide comment (after giving us the death stair) then left the line - no probs for us, we just moved up a space. The photographer, a stunningly handsome man from eastern Europe kept telling us to stand closer "Like you know each other"!! Loved it.

 

We specifically asked for a six on the second sector and were dismayed to be directed to another table for ten so just tapped the waiter and said point me to the Maitre De. We were re-seated at a six with two wonderful retired sisters (actual sisters - sisters!) from (near Kentucky -Ohio maybe?) and a retired married couple from Kentucky and had a ball. I have kept in contact with everyone.

 

We met a gay couple from Palm Springs on an excursion on the Alaska sector who we visited when we travelled to the States in 2005, a great couple from Vancouver who I email regularly and also two couples from our own Brisbane/Gold Coast region who we see regularly. The FOD party was a great success on the second crusie - nearly 20 turned up. And we found out later that there was another gay couple at the original table for 10. Ah well.

 

We're hoping our Rotterdam crusie later in the year will be just as much fun but we've heard it will be closer to a retirement home due to length of cruise (25 days) and number of sea days on TA voyages. That's cool, we're going on holiday, not to a FOD convention.

 

Bon voyage:)