Table manners

[DrivesLikeMario]

Were we rude not to wait the other 6 nights?

 

Absolutely, positively no! You were right to go ahead. I think I would have said to them when they arrived, "Oh...dinner was at 6:00. We waited, but we didn't want to make it hard on our waiter, so we went ahead." Maybe the mom would get a clue! :rolleyes:

 

If people can't arrive on time, it makes it hard on the waiter and on your dinner service. This is a huge pet peeve of mine. Why people are so inconsiderate is beyond me. :rolleyes:

[DrivesLikeMario]

So, since I've never cruised before, let me ask. For an 8:30 dinner, what is the earliest and lastest it's considered "polite" to show up? How long should we wait for tablemates before we go ahead and order without them?

 

When you show up at the restaurant, do you just seat yourself at your table, or does someone seat you?

 

Thanks for helping a newbie get the hang of things. :)

 

If dinner service is at 8:30, then you should be there at 8:25 to 8:35 at the very latest. Of course, everyone has a last minute emergency once in awhile, but the OP stated this was a nightly thing with her tablemates.

 

You seat yourself. The first night, they might show you to your table, but after that, you just walk right in to your table.

 

Also, if you plan on eating somewhere else the next night, do the considerate thing and inform your waiter AND your tablemates so they aren't waiting for you & wondering whether you'll show up or not.

 

At least you care enough to ask! Wish everyone did! :)

[willysgrandma]

You weren't rude. How would you know they were even coming to dinner? Maybe they were eating at an alternate restaurant or at the buffet.

 

The only people who should be inconvenienced by people who arrive late are the waiters, not anyone else sitting at the table.

[critterchick]

Showing up at 8:25 just means you're stuck in the queue waiting for the doors to open at 8:30. We usually get to the DR a few minutes after the doors open because it takes that long for the initial crush to clear.

[rhsmd]

I guess you and I wouldn't make great tablemates. I do think when people are late for dinner, on vacation or not, that it upsets the service at the table. I know the waiter hands out menus and waits a few minutes to see if everyone is there. It is rude to be late and to say that the waiter's job is to serve the food is rude also. Yes, that is his job, but he isn't anyone's slave.

 

I choose to have my food served hot and not sitting under lights while we play catch up for the late comers. If we are not going to be at dinner because we are going to Chops or Portofino, or think we might be late because of being in port, we will tell the waiter not to expect us. It is only common courtesy to the others at the table.

 

If I have misunderstood what you said regarding the waiter, I apologize. I find it to hard think I did, but I know sometimes it's hard to interpret the written word. It seems that courtesy is not as common in cruising as it used to be. I don't feel anyone is more important than anyone else.

 

i'm not implying that the waiter is my slave, but he is a waiter. i don't come on the cruise to make the staf my buddies.

As for the timing and the temp of the food, lets be honest. i've never had piping hot food.

it does sit out under the lights.

and as we know different tables around us are at different stages of the meal throughout the course of the dining, so the waiter can always get someones meal without disrupting others.

also, when and how would you like me to hunt down the waiter to let him know that we won't be eating in the DR that night, especially when we choose on a whim to go to the "jammer.

i'm on vacation and don't plan my day down to the moment

[rhsmd]

If dinner service is at 8:30, then you should be there at 8:25 to 8:35 at the very latest. Of course, everyone has a last minute emergency once in awhile, but the OP stated this was a nightly thing with her tablemates.

 

You seat yourself. The first night, they might show you to your table, but after that, you just walk right in to your table.

 

Also, if you plan on eating somewhere else the next night, do the considerate thing and inform your waiter AND your tablemates so they aren't waiting for you & wondering whether you'll show up or not.

 

At least you care enough to ask! Wish everyone did! :)

 

we decide to eat at the buffet on a whim at the spur of the moment. how should we inform you?

just rder your meal/ i won't be offended. my god all you people are food obsessed. it's not like you didn't eat all day!

[jadnyc]

I had no idea this was an issue!

 

I have always assumed that I am not beholden to my table mates. And vice versa. And there are not enough tables for 2 and 4 so chances are you are going to dine with strangers.

 

I'm left to wonder if my tablemates waited for us when we ate elsewhere. It is not as if we kept them apprised of our schedule. Nor did they tell us when they dined on their balcony or ashore.

 

But because of this discussion I am going to mention to the table on the upcoming cruise that they are not to wait for us under any circumstances. Maybe if we are more clear about our expectations, then feelings would not get hurt.:)

[babyher]

I don't think you were wrong at all. My husband has an expression, "You are making YOUR problem, MY problem." If they want to be late, that's their business. Just don't expect others to work around it.

 

Viv

 

 

 

*LOL* :)

 

I like your husband . I always look at someone giving me their tale of woe and ask "Aaaaaaaaaand this effects me how?" *LOL*

[VernRDH]

To the OP-

 

You were fine with what you did. We have done the same. We were on a cruise with a mom and two teen/20's DD's and they were late every night. We just went ahead and ordered. No problems.

 

Now regarding a few other comments-Your entree is not made prior to your arrival at the dining room, sitting under a heat lamp waiting for you. I have been on the galley tour and have seen how things work. Some items are made prior (like salad, cold apps, desserts etc), but there isn't a huge stack of entrees under a heat lamp. So holding up the ordering DOES effect the service. No doubt.

 

On our last cruise, we got horrible sunburns on the day of the second formal night. No way we could get dressed in formal wear. So we opted for the WJ. Prior to going there, we went to the DR and let one of the head waiters know that we would not be attending dinner and to please let our waiter know. The next night, we were in Cozumel late and on our way back to the cabin from the tender, we stopped off to the DR and let them know again that we would not be dining. Turns out, no one from our table went that night (we were in Coz until midnight) and our waiter ended up in the WJ. We saw him there and he chatted with us and served us as well.

 

I agree with others that it seems common courtesy has gone the way of the dodo. I work on a schedule daily and nothing irks me more than someone who comes late to their appointment. "but its only 10 minutes" yeah of a 30 minute appointment. And never an apology. I understand things happen that you can't always control, but maybe if you plan ahead, you could be early or at worst, on time.

 

Remember-lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.

 

 

Stepping off my soapbox now.:D

[la_croisiere_s'amuse]

all you people are food obsessed. it's not like you didn't eat all day!

 

Did I miss something here? :confused:

 

All the posts I read are about punctuality, respect for tablemates and dining room staff, and some general information on how the dining room runs.

 

So where exactly is the "food obsession?" :confused:

[Andipanda1]

Did I miss something here? :confused:

 

All the posts I read are about punctuality' date=' respect for tablemates and dining room staff, and some general information on how the dining room runs.

 

So where exactly is the "food obsession?" :confused:

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Actually, this is projection at work--there is no "food obsession," just "me obsession." You know, me, me, me, my needs, my wishes, that wonderful selfish sense of entitlement that ignores the needs of others.

 

We have let our waiter know when we were unable to make it to dinner, as well as our tablemates. It's simply common courtesy. Perhaps some of us don't want to become "buddies" with the waiters, but we recognize that there are procedures that the DR staff must follow. We realize that perhaps someone sauntering in a half-hour late on a regular basis because "it's their vacation" may throw those procedures out of whack and mess things up for everyone

[MacThespian]

we decide to eat at the buffet on a whim at the spur of the moment. how should we inform you?

just rder your meal/ i won't be offended. my god all you people are food obsessed. it's not like you didn't eat all day!

 

Please read the post you're replying to. It said, "If you PLAN...." Making a decision to eat at the Windjammer at the last moment is not planned the night before, but if you made reservations at Chops when you got on board, you have plenty of time to let the waiter and your tablemates know.

 

It's a question of politeness, not of being food-obsessed.

[Andipanda1]

we decide to eat at the buffet on a whim at the spur of the moment. how should we inform you?

just rder your meal/ i won't be offended. my god all you people are food obsessed. it's not like you didn't eat all day!

 

Perhaps you should eat in the buffet everyday--that way you don't have to inform anyone about anything.

 

Just eat in the buffet. I won't be offended. My goodness you are self absorbed! It's not like you're the only person on the ship!

[CaptData]

This is why the first night I tell my table mates if I am not here when you are go and order. I usually inform the waiter if I am not going to be there for any reason.

[rhsmd]

Did I miss something here? :confused:

 

All the posts I read are about punctuality' date=' respect for tablemates and dining room staff, and some general information on how the dining room runs.[/font']

 

So where exactly is the "food obsession?" :confused:

 

if you read some of the posts, you will note that people want to eat right away because they are hungry. hungry on a cruise ship for your 3rd + meal of the day!.

 

my basic point of this thread is that if you're at the table go ahead and order. don't worry about the late ones.

[rhsmd]

Perhaps you should eat in the buffet everyday--that way you don't have to inform anyone about anything.

 

Just eat in the buffet. I won't be offended. My goodness you are self absorbed! It's not like you're the only person on the ship!

 

as it happens i am on time, but if we decide not to eat in the DR so what. go ahead and order. i am not self absorbed.

i just don't need to adhere to a rigid schedule all the time. i do that enough in my life.

[melville]

Well, this thread is certainly more entertaining than anything on TV on a Saturday night, but I do have a question. This is only our second cruise, the first being 11 years ago. We are a party of 9 and supposedly will have our own table (although it's fine if others are there). However, assuming we are alone at the table, and we know on a particular night we won't be there, who do we notify...I had been wondering this and came across this apropos thread. I was wondering what happened to our waiter if none of us showed up? Are we still expected to tip him for the nights we do not come to the dining room? I apologize for my ignorance and appreciate your responses.

Carol:confused: :confused:

[rhsmd]

Actually, this is projection at work--there is no "food obsession," just "me obsession." You know, me, me, me, my needs, my wishes, that wonderful selfish sense of entitlement that ignores the needs of others.

 

We have let our waiter know when we were unable to make it to dinner, as well as our tablemates. It's simply common courtesy. Perhaps some of us don't want to become "buddies" with the waiters, but we recognize that there are procedures that the DR staff must follow. We realize that perhaps someone sauntering in a half-hour late on a regular basis because "it's their vacation" may throw those procedures out of whack and mess things up for everyone

 

you know you are right. it is about me.

i've been giving of myself day and night for others through my 20's,30's and now into my 40's. 24/7 caring for people, listening to them complain and whine. putting my family second for the benefit and welfare of strangers.

so if for a week i want to do what i like and not give a hoot about when and where i eat or what i wear when i do then so be it.

[la_croisiere_s'amuse]

assuming we are alone at the table, and we know on a particular night we won't be there, who do we notify...I had been wondering this and came across this apropos thread. I was wondering what happened to our waiter if none of us showed up? Are we still expected to tip him for the nights we do not come to the dining room? I apologize for my ignorance and appreciate your responses.

 

Hi Carol! If you know the day before that you won't be there the following night, you can just let your waiter know -- otherwise, you can just stop by the dining room and let one of the head waiters know. Of course, in your case you probably won't have tablemates, so it won't be an issue of keeping anybody else waiting.

 

In all likelihood, your waiter will still be kept busy with his/her other tables. As far as whether or not to tip: that's a matter of personal judgement. Myself, I can see both sides of the argument. Some people don't want to tip for a service they didn't receive, but on the other hand, the waiters have to be there on the job anyway, and if they don't get my tips, they don't have the option of picking up the money by serving somebody else. These people work hard hard hard, and most of their income is from tips. And for what it's worth, the RCI guidelines say "per day," not "per day that you use the dining room."

 

In our experience, we have had phenomenal, above-and-beyond service from our wait staff (that typically happens when you treat them with respect and courtesy -- fancy that!! ;)). So we typically go beyond the suggested amount anyway, regardless of how often we do or do not eat there. However, I do know that other passengers will tip the Windjammer staff instead when they eat dinner there . . . so I guess it all boils down to what you're comfortable with. :)

[CAC104]

I guess I have been very lucky, because on all of my cruises I have had lovely table mates and never really had a problem with anyone. Most of the time, if people knew they were going to be elsewhere, they would say so the night before, and people just agreed that if for some reason they were late, to go ahead and order. I guess I have always had very civilized companions for dinner.

 

Sometimes, the dining rooms have notices that if you are a certain number of minutes after the seating time, they will not let you in to start dinner.

 

As to the tipping....most cruise lines just want to add the $10.00 per person gratuity charge to your account, and we always go ahead and let them do it.

[PhoenixCruiser]

I agree. I will only sit at a table that has seating for my immediate party. Been there and done that when it comes to dining with strangers and no more.

 

To the OP, you were not rude at all. The late party were the inconsiderate ones.

 

We feel the same way Gordon!

 

I know a lot of you don't like the open seating options offered on other cruise lines, however how many of you have seen empty seats or sat at a table waiting for passengers that never show up? :confused:

 

Several years ago Royal Caribbean stopped assigned tables for breakfast and lunch, perhaps they could do the same thing for dinner :D

 

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[alcheme]

We realize that perhaps someone sauntering in a half-hour late on a regular basis because "it's their vacation" may throw those procedures out of whack and mess things up for everyone

 

Maybe, but I think there is a surprising amount of harsh words in this thread toward the family that was "10-15 minutes late", according to the OP, who also later posted that the family was otherwise "delightful" to dine with. My guess is that the tardiness probably had more to do with the single Mom trying to get herself and two children ready for dinner. That's quite different than "sauntering in a half-hour late because it's their vacation."

 

Sorry, but some of you in this thread just sound flat-out mean. I'm generally on time, but if I even end up a few minutes late to the dining room, I hope I'm seating with much more forgiving tablemates.

[Bufordite]

I don't mind being seated at a table with strangers.

 

When I go to a restaurant with friends, of course I wait until everyone is seated to order, and I wait until everyone is served before I begin eating. I only wait on my own party while cruising, even if seated with other people. Logistics, and not the desire to dine with strangers, brought us together and I have no expectations /obligations/etc., for diners at a shared table. I don't want totally obnoxious behavior, but they can be as late as they like because I know the waiter will serve our party when we are all seated.

 

Just a disclaimer, we don't have a "screw you, you're on your own" attitude, more of a "we're laid back and doing our thing as you do yours" attitude. I know it's hard to read tone!

[MrPete]

I enjoy sitting with strangers, who become ex strangers very quickly.

 

But, I will ALWAYS make it clear I wait for no one. If I'm on time, I should get the perks.

[MrsPete]

Not at all - How were you supposed to know they were even coming.

Ditto -- unless you spent time with them during the day, you woudln't know whether they were planning to come to dinner in the main dining room, or whether they were planning to eat at a different time in the buffet, Johnny Rockets, etc.

you were not rude, but then again, what's the big deal if they come 10-15 min later. you're all on vacation for goodness sake. it's not a business meeting.

as to the waiter. so what. it's his job to serve the food.

the food is all cooked and waiting in the kitchen.

You have to understand that cruising -- for better or worse -- IS set up to serve people ON TIME. If you're late, you are inconveniencing the wait staff and many other vacationers. If you want to avoid that, there are other dining venues onboard, but cruise dinners ARE NOT like other vacation meals.