Single mom needs help

[CrtnyGbs]

:confused: Hello Everyone

 

I read these boards quite a bit as my Fiance and I will by taking my 7 y.o dd on a cruise next year. We are really excited about our first family trip but I am unsure if they will let her get on the boat. My daughter's father and I were never married. I have no paperwork saying that I have sole custody of her. He is ordered to pay child support but he hasn't done it. He hasn't seen dd in 3 years and told child support court that he would never seek to have any visitation with her. So my question is: How do I prove to immigration that I am the only parent that my daughter has and that her bio father could care less about her? Thank you for any advice you can give me.

 

Courtney

[momofsamandeden]

I have travelled with my son several times and with his passport no one has ever questioned me about where his father is. I am not sure what you have to do to apply for the passport since we filed jointly when he was a baby. I would just call the nearest passport agency and ask them. There is a list on http://travel.state.gov

[kitty9]

You will have to go to court and have yourself declared as the only custodial parent. With so many child abductions, things have gotten really tough on those who travel with a child and another who's not their legal parent. Especially if your cruise goes to Mexico, those officials are really picky about this issue. Getting a passport might help, but again, they might ask to see court papers granting your sole custody.

[6rugrats]

The other posters are correct. It does not matter that her father has nothing to do with her. He is still legally her dad and you can't legally take your daughter out-of-the country without his permission. Unless you have a court order awarding you sole physical and legal custody, you are asking for trouble by not having the appropriate paperwork. You could be prevented from boarding the ship.

 

You will not even be able to obtain a passport for your child without a notarized statement from her dad, giving you permission to do so. You can get a copy of this form from the link already posted by momofsam.... Then, you will need a letter (most cruise lines will send you a copy of what they require) giving you permission to take the child out-of-the country. Her dad must sign this letter.

 

If your goal is just to take your daughter on this trip and get her a passport, dad will have to sign this paperwork. If you are seeking to obtain sole legal and physical custody, that's another story and I advise you to seek legal counsel about this. Good luck.

[crusinmama06]

You will have to get this straightened out before you leave, no doubt.

 

Here is the info from the passport site...

http://travel.state.gov/passport/ppi/family/family_864.html

 

PASSPORTS FOR MINORS

A minor is defined for passport purposes as an unmarried person under the age of 18 years. 22 CFR 51.27.

Either parent, whether a U.S. citizen or not, may apply for the U.S. passport for their minor child. However, the Two Parent Consent Law, effective July 2, 2001, requires that, for a child under the age of 14, both parents must consent to issuance, or the applying parent must document his/her sole authority to obtain a passport for the child. Thus, before a passport is issued for such a child, Passport Services will require evidence of one of the following: sole custody, a court order allowing the parent to travel with the child; a written statement under penalty of perjury that the other parent agrees to issuance or is unavailable, a termination of the other parent’s parental rights, or compelling humanitarian reasons relating to the welfare of the child.

[Kerry's Girls]

I've taken my girls on three cruises to Mexico by myself using just their birth certificates and have never been asked for paperwork related to their father (once I was asked about him as we returned to Los Angeles, but I wasn't asked for any proof or paperwork). I also just flew with them to London and back with no questions. However, I would NOT book a cruise or any trip without having all the proper paperwork in hand, because if you are asked and don't have it, you will be kept off the ship and lose all your money. It's a good time to get it all sorted out now so that you won't have to hesitate booking travel in the future.

 

Good luck!

 

Best,

Mia

[CrtnyGbs]

I thank you all for your answers. I will talk to his parents and see if they can help me but he never responds to any of my e-mails. I don't even know where he lives right now. He recently moved from Texas to New Jersey but I only know that because he told child support court but I don't know the new address.

[SheriNtexas]

I thank you all for your answers. I will talk to his parents and see if they can help me but he never responds to any of my e-mails. I don't even know where he lives right now. He recently moved from Texas to New Jersey but I only know that because he told child support court but I don't know the new address.

 

 

I'm sorry you are having trouble with all this! Do you have a lawyer? If you do, then you need to talk to him/her and see what they advise. I am divorced and my 16yo dd and I went on a group tour to France and Italy this past June, and while i didn't have to have my ex's permission for her to get a passport since she IS 16, I did go ahead and print out some forms that said which countries we would be going to, and he signed each form and had them notarized. No one ever asked for them, but I wanted to have all my bases covered, just in case!! Please get some legal advice about this so for NOW you can get your daughter on the cruiseship and then you can go about getting sole custody or whatever you need to do!! Good luck!!:) I just wanted to add that in our divorce papers it says that either parent could get a passport for our daughter as long as we let the other parent know, in writing, that we were doing so. I honestly don't know what you do when you were not married to him. Was it a common law marriage?? I'm sorry, I am WAY out of my league here! Good luck getting all this taken care of!!

[hightownCO]

Courtney, Is the father even on the birth certificate? If he's not, then there are no issues as far as traveling and/or getting a passport for your daughter. You won't have a problem and doen't concern him.

 

If on the other hand, he is on the birth certificate, then the other posters have best advise for you.

[celtic_beauty]

Courtney, Is the father even on the birth certificate? If he's not, then there are no issues as far as traveling and/or getting a passport for your daughter. You won't have a problem and doen't concern him.

 

If on the other hand, he is on the birth certificate, then the other posters have best advise for you.

 

This is what I was going to say...thank goodness I did one smart thing and didnt have my daughters "sperm donor" on the birth certificate and I gave her my last name :D

[terinzak]

I have also cruised out of the country with my son and just our birth certificates. I never had a problem. However, now that I am trying to get my son his passpoprt, there has been nothing but problems. I nver married my son's dad and his dad has never seen him. He does pay child support. However, it seems without his dad's signature, my son cant get a passport. The child support department is of absolutely no help at all-they wont forward anything to my son's dad. I cant afford an atty to get a court order showing I have sole legal custody. I have gotten my congressman's office involved and they seem pretty certain that they will get my son his passport. We'll see. My only saving grace is that my son will be 14 in a little over a year and wont need his dad's signature to get a passport.

[6rugrats]

Child support enforcement does not get involved in this type of matter, so I'm not surprised they aren't helping you.

 

If you can't contact dad, the requirements to obtain a passport in this circumstance state:

 

Passport Services will require evidence of one of the following: sole custody, a court order allowing the parent to travel with the child; a written statement under penalty of perjury that the other parent agrees to issuance or is unavailable.

I'm not sure why you just could not sign this statement and apply for a passport that way.

If you have sole legal custody, this would have to have been by court order and you certainly don't need an attorney to obtain a copy. It is a public record and you could obtain a copy any time.

Good luck - I am sure your Congressman's office can help you.

[lyttleone1977]

:confused: Hello Everyone

 

I read these boards quite a bit as my Fiance and I will by taking my 7 y.o dd on a cruise next year. We are really excited about our first family trip but I am unsure if they will let her get on the boat. My daughter's father and I were never married. I have no paperwork saying that I have sole custody of her. He is ordered to pay child support but he hasn't done it. He hasn't seen dd in 3 years and told child support court that he would never seek to have any visitation with her. So my question is: How do I prove to immigration that I am the only parent that my daughter has and that her bio father could care less about her? Thank you for any advice you can give me.

 

Courtney

 

Hi Courtney,

 

I know you said you have no paperwork, but if there is a court order for him to pay child support, then there is an order somewhere. You need to go down to the county clerk where you live (or the child support is ordered through), and see what the order says. Mine says it right on the front page. If it does not specify, then contact the worker for your case. Hopefully you have some time!

[wrp96]

A child support order is not necessarily the same thing as a custody order, so just because she has an order granting her child support does not mean she has a court order showing she has physical and legal custody of her child.

 

As to child support enforcement helping, in most states they are not allowed to get involved in custody matters (and that's what this is). They are solely setup for the purpose of establishing, modifying, and collecting child support.

[terinzak]

I had signed the section under perjury and they rejected it. The passport office told me that you have to ahve proof that you tried to locate the dad. She even had the nerve to ask why I had put his dad's name on the BC....and the audacity to change the date f my son'sschool trip till he's 14 (as if I could do that). So now we wait and see if they accept a notarized letter/statement attesting to the facts of why his dad cant sign:(

[CrtnyGbs]

Thank you all for your help. Yes he father is on the birth certificate. We had a good relationship at one time but when he got married three years ago and him and his wife had their first child he stop dealing with me and my daughter. I only have some information because I had to take him to child support court recently. I spoke with passport yesturday and they told me to send in a letter stating that I don't know where he is. I know that it is a crap shoot. I am still going to call his parents to see if they will help me get the document signed. I would really hate to disappoint my daughter.

[Almost Packed]

i have been struggling with the same issues....i want to take my kids on a cruise but i refuse to talk to the ex....and for good reasons. and honestly, not even sure where he is. he pays child support, only because it's taken from his check, so no legal abandoment there...i can spend our cruise money on giving it to the lawyers....

i do know this....my friend was denied boarding on a cruise for not having a notarized doc. stating she had permission to take him. luckily it was a home port and she was able to get a copy to them. whew! but they were not letting her and child on that boat without it!!!! :eek: she was upset because she did not even know she had to have it.

 

i understand i can probably get a passport because i dont know where he is, no contact etc...but how does one get past that notarized doc. stating i have permission? do they too, have an alternative like the passports?

thanks

[tiyana4]

Three years in a row I have had my ex sign copies of all Consent to Travel documentation for our daughter. I would send several copies at a time for him to have notarized, leaving the destination area blank and he would mail it back.

 

Two years ago I decided to apply for a passport for her, sent him the paperwork via USPS mail, he mailed it back and never had a problem. With passport and consent to travel in hand, we flew to Cancun, Mexico in August '07 from D.C. and no one ever asked for the form. They have yet to ask me for any paperwork from her father even though I have it each time we travel.

 

I'm sure if I didn't have the paperwork, they would pull us out of line every time, particularly flying internationally. We took bottled water on the plane here but couldn't bring it on coming back from Cozumel Airport. It really depends on the officials.

[terinzak]

To get my son his passport I had to do the following:

1. Write a detailed letter stating the fact that we were never married

2. Include the fact that I had no idea where to find him, where he works, etc.

3. Get it notarized

 

After I hel my breath for a week, DS got his passport! The trick is to spell everything out in detail in your explanation...and I mean everything including domestic abuse events, etc and make sure to get it NOTARIZED.

 

Good luck!

[larronry]

Wow I am so glad you were able to get it.

 

To the OP a notarized statement from his parents might help too especially if they don't know where he is either. The only problem may be proving they are his parents. I'm sure they no longer have a copy of their son's birth certificate.

[crusinmama06]

To get my son his passport I had to do the following:

1. Write a detailed letter stating the fact that we were never married

2. Include the fact that I had no idea where to find him, where he works, etc.

3. Get it notarized

 

After I hel my breath for a week, DS got his passport! The trick is to spell everything out in detail in your explanation...and I mean everything including domestic abuse events, etc and make sure to get it NOTARIZED.

 

Good luck!

 

Oh good! I am glad you were able to get it!!!! Must be such a relief. :)

[CrtnyGbs]

:) Terinzak That is wonderful that you got the passport. I am working on my letter now. I talked to his brother and sent him what I need signed but he didn't even respond to his brother's request. I am also in the process to get sole physical and legal custody of my daughter. I really don't understand why he won't sign the document. He wants no relationship with her and as of October he hasn't paid any child support. He just really being a jerk and I won't let him prevent me from taking my dd on a trip that she is really looking forward to.

[AlabamaWorley]

Three years in a row I have had my ex sign copies of all Consent to Travel documentation for our daughter. I would send several copies at a time for him to have notarized, leaving the destination area blank and he would mail it back.

 

Two years ago I decided to apply for a passport for her, sent him the paperwork via USPS mail, he mailed it back and never had a problem. With passport and consent to travel in hand, we flew to Cancun, Mexico in August '07 from D.C. and no one ever asked for the form. They have yet to ask me for any paperwork from her father even though I have it each time we travel.

 

I'm sure if I didn't have the paperwork, they would pull us out of line every time, particularly flying internationally. We took bottled water on the plane here but couldn't bring it on coming back from Cozumel Airport. It really depends on the officials.

 

Is the Consent to Travel document something you got from the cruiselines or elsewhere? I have passports for my children, after a court order forced my X to sign the passport docs. If I have to get something else signed out of him, I'll probably have to get a court order to get it done as well. I'm not cruising till next summer, so I'll have to start working on that now.