Completely Depressed & Frustrated...HELP!

[Brenda33]

Unfortunately, he is that evil......but we won't go there....all I'll say is we all learn from what we see when we are children....his dad is the same way with his mom, etc. Enough of that...

 

OK....the first person who measured me measured the wrong spot.....the right person said she does this alot, that is why she wanted to check for me. In any case.....It worked in my favor so I was happy.

 

Tagalong....I am TRYING the fist method. It works all the time except for dinner. I do find that I eat a bit more then. I think for me, maybe I save up some of my calories for dinner, because I enjoy that meal the most....although many on this board have told me I still don't eat enough. So what I am trying is if I feel like I need that extra food, I do have a snack during the day....but if my body says its full, I skip it. For me, I think each day is different. Some days I do eat many times....and others only 3 times. I think it depends on what is going on that particular day, etc.

[Gathina]

Oh this is great, thanks! I LOVE sushi..it's the ONE thing I really will pig out over..but I usually make sure I'm HUNGRY enough for it and I skip everythign else...not good, I know!

 

Did you follow the hummus recipe I made or another? What's great about making it yourself is that you can add whatever you want to it..for me I look putting lots of lemon juice in it and the entire head of garlic and a lot of cumin. Not sure if I mentioned this but I pop the entire head in the microwave for like 20-30 seconds and when I "pinch" the cloves the skins slip right off.

 

 

Oh gosh yes...I think sushi is very low in calories. Obviously the kind with cream cheese would have more fat...but here is a link with more info.

 

http://www.sushifaq.com/sushi-calories.htm

 

 

 

Isn't THAT the truth!!

 

By the way, I meant to tell you I made hummus this weekend and it turned out GREAT! My son and I both love it...so I will be making it quite often now that I know how easy it is.

[happysinglemom]

Did you follow the hummus recipe I made or another? What's great about making it yourself is that you can add whatever you want to it..for me I look putting lots of lemon juice in it and the entire head of garlic and a lot of cumin. Not sure if I mentioned this but I pop the entire head in the microwave for like 20-30 seconds and when I "pinch" the cloves the skins slip right off.

 

I got several recipes off the net and sort of just went from there. I think it was probably very close to your recipe. In addition to the chick peas and tahini, I used roasted red peppers, lemon juice, garlic (will use more next time) cumin, salt, and red pepper, and more red pepper. :p We like a LOT of heat! I mixed a little olive oil and crushed red peppers and drizzed that over the top. Really REALLY good!!

[Gathina]

wow that sounds terrific...I like to use black olives too but you have to watch the fat content on them. Hmm..have you ever tried Scotch Bonnett peppers..they are higher in heat than mexicans, jalapenos, etc..you might really like them..used a lot in west indian recipes.

 

I got several recipes off the net and sort of just went from there. I think it was probably very close to your recipe. In addition to the chick peas and tahini, I used roasted red peppers, lemon juice, garlic (will use more next time) cumin, salt, and red pepper, and more red pepper. :p We like a LOT of heat! I mixed a little olive oil and crushed red peppers and drizzed that over the top. Really REALLY good!!

[smoothdancer]

Frankly, I dont get it.... So TaggingAlong puts out a challenge not to talk about the scale number for a week, and everyone loves the idea. So it is OK to obsess about this as long as she does not tell us about it? How can not talking about it make the focus of the weight loss go away??? The only difference is that we wont know. How is that better? Just because one goes silent does not mean all is fixed.

 

I will tell you I have become obsessed myself these past couple of weeks. I am so determined to return to the dance floor and look great that my inches loss is on my mind all the time, the focus has moved from being healthy to looking good..... So we pat Brenda on the back when she reports her inches, scold her when she talks about pounds... Had I just not told you about my obsession you would of not known and I dont see any huge difference between me and Brenda, starving yourself to death is bad, working out to an excess is good..... That cant be right, can it? Had I not posted this I might of not even have reconized that I came off the mark and things got a little crazy for me....

 

Thats it.... I got this off my chest, went on long enough.... On my way out to dance practice now.

[Brenda33]

Smooth,

 

Although I am not happy for you.....I feel your pain completely. I know how it hurts deep inside to be obsessed with weight loss or inches loss. Its all you think about. Your entire life focuses on it....life is almost not fun anymore. In any case, on the other hand, I am glad to hear that I am not alone. I was beginning to feel like I was the only one here who wasn't tough. Just my opinion, but the weight you have mentioned, etc....makes me believe you are just great the way you are. I have no doubt that all your extra efforts have paid off.

[happysinglemom]

Frankly, I dont get it.... So TaggingAlong puts out a challenge not to talk about the scale number for a week, and everyone loves the idea. So it is OK to obsess about this as long as she does not tell us about it? How can not talking about it make the focus of the weight loss go away??? The only difference is that we wont know. How is that better? Just because one goes silent does not mean all is fixed.

 

I will tell you I have become obsessed myself these past couple of weeks. I am so determined to return to the dance floor and look great that my inches loss is on my mind all the time, the focus has moved from being healthy to looking good..... So we pat Brenda on the back when she reports her inches, scold her when she talks about pounds... Had I just not told you about my obsession you would of not known and I dont see any huge difference between me and Brenda, starving yourself to death is bad, working out to an excess is good..... That cant be right, can it? Had I not posted this I might of not even have reconized that I came off the mark and things got a little crazy for me....

 

Thats it.... I got this off my chest, went on long enough.... On my way out to dance practice now.

 

I haven't said anything about it. And the reason I haven't is that I actually don't see anyone "obsessing" here. I do think that Brenda is trying to rush it a bit...but I also think she is learning to be more patient and accept that her current rate of loss is excellent, and probably as good as she can expect to ever do. Also, I could never not weigh myself every morning...I NEED that discipline and accountability - so I just can't get but so annoyed at someone for doing the same thing. :o

 

As far as your focus on inches...well, you are getting ready for a competition, right? I think that is a normal thing to do, isn't it? Tighten up a bit...lose an inch here or there? My goodness look at what a bodybuilder does...they completely transform themselves days before a competition (we have several gals that compete at my gym and it just amazes me how they do this). These people are all very healthy...these are physical competitions...so a physical "toning" is perfectly normal in my mind. Maybe I am just used to more of this sort of thing...the physical aspect of it. Of course to me, "healthy" is the main focus, but physical strength, flexibilty, and a slim toned bod are all good "by-products" !!! :D But maybe I am missing a point somewhere...or maybe I misread something?

[Chigirlcruzin]

Smooth, the reason I think it's great is that by not talking about it, she's forced to talk, and therefore think, about something else. I don't know that it will work, but it's worth a try.

 

As for obsessing, I think that we, as women, are all guilty of it from time to time. The thing is, you're recognizing it. And I think it's only natural in your situation - you 're wearing tight costumes, competing against other women in great shape, etc.

 

As for pounds vs inches, both are necessary. We were trying to get her to focus on something other than the number on the scale that only tells part of the story. Inches tell another part. We're trying to get her to see the full picture.

[smoothdancer]

There is this fine line that I think we all walk. Keeping our weight at certain levels and our physical toning up there does require a plan and it is kept close to the the top of our thoughts daily. Shoot, if we all were not daily thinking about this you would not see all these posts and daily talking about it.... So it can be easy to take it one step to many, take it overboard and let it comsume you, then it is no good. I guess my point was I questioned creating a challenge to not talk about these obsessions that pop up now and then, in one form or another that we all have. (and yes Brenda, it is not just you, we all have them)

 

This is the first competition of the season, from here we will compete every month until November, so for me it is almost a constant preparation and I need to keep it in check, not let it drive myself crazy or forget what is important.

[smoothdancer]

LOL... I was thinking it must be a little weird to Brenda for us to talk about her like she wasnt here!!

[happysinglemom]

Keeping our weight at certain levels and our physical toning up there does require a plan and it is kept close to the the top of our thoughts daily.

 

Yes,that is certainly true for me. I know myself well enough by now (and I stay honest with myself about this) that if I allow myself to stop paying attention to my eating behavior, I know I will slip back into some unhealthy habits. And I do not want to do that....no way am I going to do that. I don't think that is obsessing...I think it is simply doing what I need to do to stay fit. My health and fitness, and my son's, have very high priorities in this household. It allows us to do many many things together that most 15 yr old boys and their moms would not be able to do. And THAT is the #1 reason I got back in shape. The fact that I FEEL 200% better is what motivates me to STAY in shape.

 

I guess my point was I questioned creating a challenge to not talk about these obsessions that pop up now and then, in one form or another that we all have. (and yes Brenda, it is not just you, we all have them).

 

I see nothing wrong with discussing them...I think it's actually healthier that way. :o

[Gathina]

I think all of us secretly hope the scale goes down and that's why we keep checking.

 

In the shrink world it's not really defined as an "obsession or a compulsion" unless you KNOW the constant checking is a problem, it's having adverse effects on you (in this case causing you to worry or starve yourself if you're talking about dieting, not saying anyone here is doing that).

 

The danger I think in the constant weighing is that if you have a bad belief about yourself (like "I'm fat and ugly" etc.) THEN each time you keep weighing yourself you are only REINFORCING that wrong belief about yourself. That's when you you've got a problem because even if you lose the weight you'll always have the belief that you are a "big fat ugly pig".

 

For myself..I had the worst food day I've had in MONTHS. SO not me. Yesterday I had to take a professional exam and the stress got to me and poor planning. The exam was 5 hours long. I ate two bananas and an orange for breakfast and some coffee. 9 am I had an hour to kill before the test so I ate a chicken steak biscuit. After the test I ate chinese food and lemondae and cake.

 

I am SO physically sick..bloated..all the wheat, gluten, sugar...If I could throw up I'd feel better. I drank some dieters tea to clean me out and am drinkig water and worked out for 1.5 hours today. LESSON LEARNED! I liked everything I ate but you know what, I am so sick I don't think I could eat that stuff again for months.

 

I haven't said anything about it. And the reason I haven't is that I actually don't see anyone "obsessing" here. I do think that Brenda is trying to rush it a bit...but I also think she is learning to be more patient and accept that her current rate of loss is excellent, and probably as good as she can expect to ever do. Also, I could never not weigh myself every morning...I NEED that discipline and accountability - so I just can't get but so annoyed at someone for doing the same thing. :o

 

As far as your focus on inches...well, you are getting ready for a competition, right? I think that is a normal thing to do, isn't it? Tighten up a bit...lose an inch here or there? My goodness look at what a bodybuilder does...they completely transform themselves days before a competition (we have several gals that compete at my gym and it just amazes me how they do this). These people are all very healthy...these are physical competitions...so a physical "toning" is perfectly normal in my mind. Maybe I am just used to more of this sort of thing...the physical aspect of it. Of course to me, "healthy" is the main focus, but physical strength, flexibilty, and a slim toned bod are all good "by-products" !!! :D But maybe I am missing a point somewhere...or maybe I misread something?

[happysinglemom]

The danger I think in the constant weighing is that if you have a bad belief about yourself (like "I'm fat and ugly" etc.) THEN each time you keep weighing yourself you are only REINFORCING that wrong belief about yourself. That's when you you've got a problem because even if you lose the weight you'll always have the belief that you are a "big fat ugly pig".

 

I defintely don't think anyone here is in THAT state of mind. But if they were, then I believe discussing it with others and getting some healthy feedback would be beneficial.

 

I ate two bananas and an orange for breakfast and some coffee. 9 am I had an hour to kill before the test so I ate a chicken steak biscuit. After the test I ate chinese food and lemondae and cake.

 

Poor girl!! Truthfully, days like happen to all of us at some point. Recognizing that, and being disciplined enough to not let it destroy your "smart eating" behavior, is more important. It will not cause you to gain 10 pounds overnight, but yes, it will make you physically uncomfortable for a day or so. Yep. Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt. Maybe try and fit in an extra cardio session or two this week, that will make you feel a bit better. Then move on...fahgettaboutit!

 

Hope you feel better!! :o

[Tagging Along]

Frankly, I dont get it.... So TaggingAlong puts out a challenge not to talk about the scale number for a week, and everyone loves the idea. So it is OK to obsess about this as long as she does not tell us about it? How can not talking about it make the focus of the weight loss go away??? The only difference is that we wont know. How is that better? Just because one goes silent does not mean all is fixed.

 

Well, excuse me! My goodness. I was just trying to help. Way to make a new girl feel "welcomed" :rolleyes:

 

I will tell you I have become obsessed myself these past couple of weeks. I am so determined to return to the dance floor and look great that my inches loss is on my mind all the time, the focus has moved from being healthy to looking good..... So we pat Brenda on the back when she reports her inches, scold her when she talks about pounds... Had I just not told you about my obsession you would of not known and I dont see any huge difference between me and Brenda, starving yourself to death is bad, working out to an excess is good..... That cant be right, can it? Had I not posted this I might of not even have reconized that I came off the mark and things got a little crazy for me....

 

So if you have a problem or a challenge it's okay as long as everyone else does it too?

Thats it.... I got this off my chest, went on long enough.... On my way out to dance practice now.

 

Glad YOU feel better

 

I think all of us secretly hope the scale goes down and that's why we keep checking.

 

The danger I think in the constant weighing is that if you have a bad belief about yourself (like "I'm fat and ugly" etc.) THEN each time you keep weighing yourself you are only REINFORCING that wrong belief about yourself. That's when you you've got a problem because even if you lose the weight you'll always have the belief that you are a "big fat ugly pig".

 

This is what I thought was happening to Brenda. I was only trying to help!

quote]

 

Oh, and I'll break my own rule, only because I think it might help. This morning I weighed 118, sure I'm bummed but I'm keeping up with my "handy" plan. I also joined Sparkpeople yesterday to help with my fitness goals. I hope if you have not gone to this free website that you do so. I don't know why I kept putting off, it's fun & supportive.

 

Good luck to you, Brenda. You seem really sweet. You obviously have much better help here & I will stay off this thread. Wouldn't want to step on anyone's toes & get them all bent out of shape again.

Goodbye & Good luck!

 

 

 

__

[Chigirlcruzin]

Tagging Along, don't go. I don't think Smooth intended anything against you; I think she was just questioning why we though it was good idea.

 

The danger in this environment is that you can't hear tone, see facial expressions, etc. I interpreted Smooth's post much differently than you did. To me, she was just not agreeing with the challenge - nothing wrong with that. Life would be boring if we all agreed all the time.

 

And regarding the weight "gain" - don't worry about it. It may not be real. My scale showed me up 3 pounds from Sunday to Monday, but I'm back down today. (And yes, I weigh myself daily, but I understand that fluctuations do happen and don't freak out if I'm up a day or two. It keeps me in line).

 

Hey Brenda, where are you?

[happysinglemom]

Frankly, I dont get it.... So TaggingAlong puts out a challenge not to talk about the scale number for a week, and everyone loves the idea. So it is OK to obsess about this as long as she does not tell us about it? How can not talking about it make the focus of the weight loss go away??? The only difference is that we wont know. How is that better? Just because one goes silent does not mean all is fixed.

 

Well, excuse me! My goodness. I was just trying to help. Way to make a new girl feel "welcomed" :rolleyes:

 

......

 

Good luck to you, Brenda. You seem really sweet. You obviously have much better help here & I will stay off this thread. Wouldn't want to step on anyone's toes & get them all bent out of shape again.

Goodbye & Good luck!

 

M's right. Definitely a misperception there Tag. Smooth meant no foul...I am certain of it. :o

[Brenda33]

Hi all......I just want to say that I welcome everyone on my thread. :) I would love for you to stay Tag.... Sometimes I feel some people are too tough on me here. Sometimes I do feel beat up. Other times, I feel like everyone really means well and is only trying to help. I agree that sometimes what we type does not come across exactly the way we mean it. I'm sorry about your weight gain......I say it that way only because I would like to hear it that way sometimes. To some people weight gain when you are working so hard is traumatic and can really pull you down. Try not to worry about it too much. Do a few days of extra careful fist portions....make them fat free and full of veggies. I'm sure you'll lose it again.

 

Everyone.....I feel like ga ga!! I just can't get better. My head now is so congested that it is causing a terrible headache. I did my workout, went Easter basket shopping again and then came home and fell asleep.

[smoothdancer]

Brenda! I was thrilled to see that with some “live” experiences behind you, you are now in a position to offer assistance and motivation to Tag…. Is that not how it works, you get help and then you give help. Good for you, Brenda and welcome to the dark side, sweetie!

 

Tag, simply I disagreed with you, and strongly enough rather than let it pass I posted my take on it. That’s all, certainly nothing personal, end of story…….

[Tagging Along]

Ok, now I'm embarrassed that I even posted, but man that hit me hard!!

I only wanted to help & it was just a suggestion. I agree that I read it wrong and overreacted.

 

You know, I'm a lot like Brenda that I get discouraged too. That's one reason her thread name really gets our attention. I KNOW my weight gain today is not permanent, but it still scares me. I'm very worried that I'll yo-yo. I want to make her feel better when this happens to her because that's what I would want too. However, I don't think it's something to complain about almost every day. It happens, I know, and it will go back down.

 

I don't know WHAT I'm going to do on this cruise with all the FOOD that I will be served. Can I ask for half portions of things? I want to make a reservation at the Supper Club, cuz everyone says it's an experience that shouldn't be missed... but OMG the AMOUNT of food & I don't know if I want to keep eating for 2 hours??!! I will continue my workouts and eat my little amounts. But lots of people say "You definitely will gain weight on the cruise." Aaaaaaaaacckkkk! Stop saying that!!!! :eek: :eek:

 

 

 

___

[Tagging Along]

 

Tag, simply I disagreed with you, and strongly enough rather than let it pass I posted my take on it. That’s all, certainly nothing personal, end of story…….

 

I guess we were posting at the same time. You have every right to disagree with me. Like I said in previous post... i overreacted, that's all.

[Chigirlcruzin]

Tag, the supper club is not to be missed. The only problem is, your fist method won't work very well there! I have a cruise coming up too (I'll be landing in Miami a month from right now!). My plan is to continue my 6 day a week exercise regimen. I'm going to be very careful with how I eat...I will eat what I want (I cannot resist the pizza!!), but be mindful of portion sizes (the portions aren't huge). The dining room has a nightly Spa menu with the fat and calories listed. These are lower fat, lower calorie items. My mom said they are very good (I never tried them). I won't be able to have the spa selection every night because some are fish, but I will do my best. I haven't gained weight on previous cruises - I always take the stairs, do active excursions, and work out. You can be smart about it.

[smoothdancer]

We cruise at least once a year and I dont very often put on weight, maybe a pound or two that comes off very easy. I dont go on board with a plan except to eat what I want and not stress about it. It turns out that your habits do carry over even in among tons of food. I order whatever appeals to me, like Chi said the portions are not huge like in past years. The key is not to eat just to eat, but order just what you want, no more.

 

The one thing I do however is I do not eat the breads at all. Carbs is a real weight gainer for me so I skip the dinner rolls, if getting a burger or hotdog, I skip the bun. Also if at dinner I see a dessert I think I will like I order it, but if nothing appeals to me I dont.... I only order what I want and not order because everyone else is or what the waiter expects. Another nice alternative to dessert at dinner is a cheese/fruit plate.

 

I dont work out while on a cruise, but then we dance every night! Funny story... Once on NCL we had a suite with a butler, and there was a scale in the bathroom..... Well I would get on the scale each day and I was not gaining weight, when I should of been.... My husband teased me that part of the butlers job was to keep turning the knob on the scale backwards. When I got back home to my scale I was up a pound... no big deal!

 

Try not to worry about this or worse let it have a negative effect on your vacation. It is strange, but you just dont put on a lot of weight.

[happysinglemom]

But lots of people say "You definitely will gain weight on the cruise." Aaaaaaaaacckkkk! Stop saying that!!!!

 

Tain't so!! People that say this are the people that don't care about staying fit. There are so many thing you can do on your cruise. #1 is ALWAYS take the stairs. My son and I did...and we were on deck 8. Also, check out the gym!! I got in 3 workouts in a 7-day cruise. The top deck also had a great track, and I ran most mornings, but walking is fun too! Eating breakfast for me was very simple - we ate in the Windjammer - always either oatmeal or cereal. Maybe a slice of toast and bacon once I think. My son loaded up of course - he's a teen and has a bottomless pit for a stomach. Lunch is whatever we are served on our excursions... and that is pretty much always something healthy. If we have a beach day, I have protein bars that I bring with me, if I get hungry. Usually we are too busy to even think about it!

 

I never wanted to overeat at dinner...thankfully I just cannot eat large amounts of food at one seating. I usually ate a third, maybe half at most, and my son would finish my dinner. Deserts - I would order something, and just have one or two bites. I really never had any problem with gaining weight. So calm down...a cruise is NOT about the food...although some people make it that way. You are smarter than that - I'm sure of it!! ;)

[Gathina]

Well I am still feeling full from yesterday's pork out, but less bloated..ugh..that super dieter's tea doesthe trick with cleaning out the bloat and the rest of the trash I ate yesterday. The funny thing was, I didn't even enjoy anything I ate so I know I won't be going back that road again.

 

Someone else said something about gaining weight on a cruise..I haven't been on one since 2004 but I think to gain weight on a cruise you'd have to be eating an awful lot continuously.

 

I defintely don't think anyone here is in THAT state of mind. But if they were, then I believe discussing it with others and getting some healthy feedback would be beneficial.

 

 

 

Poor girl!! Truthfully, days like happen to all of us at some point. Recognizing that, and being disciplined enough to not let it destroy your "smart eating" behavior, is more important. It will not cause you to gain 10 pounds overnight, but yes, it will make you physically uncomfortable for a day or so. Yep. Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt. Maybe try and fit in an extra cardio session or two this week, that will make you feel a bit better. Then move on...fahgettaboutit!

 

Hope you feel better!! :o

[Tagging Along]

Thanks everyone for helping me to stop worrying about this upcoming cruise & the effects it may have on my recent weight loss. All of you are soooo right & I will just be smart about it. I try and take the stairs when I can anyway and continue to try and eat smaller amounts more often. This just really seems to work for me better than anything I've tried before. I will even let myself try the pizza and other stuff. I can get the pizza at other times in the day right? And only eat 1/2 a piece! I eat many times a day... so I don't think I'll be ever having to 'wait' to eat.

 

I think it is a control thing. Around here, I can control what I keep around the house, control my portions that I give myself. When someone puts a lot of food in front of me, it just seems harder to control. Then, since I'll be gone for over a week.... I know I will do okay, and hopefully besides walking I'll get some Dancing in too!:D