Inappropriate Behavior from Gem Crew Member

[HeartsLover]

Just my two cents worth...the crew member would have been checking the hull for barnacles without benefit of an oxygen tank....

 

And your sorry ass would be in jail! :D

[Urban trekker]

I wonder if an 18 year old female clerk were to put her arms and hands around the torso of an 13 year old male teenager would we want to tar and feather the female and find her guilty of inappropriate behavior - possible have her career ruined.

 

Dennis

[Kingmaker_inc]

Picture in your mind what actually happened (according to the OP)....she was signing paperwork at the register.... and the mother-in-law was behind her, and presumably said to the girl "let's go"....and the clerk (and I also know who he is... he's very identifiable, from the description) said in a joking voice (the tone you would use with a young nephew or niece) "no, she's staying here with me", while loosely encircling her waist with his arm.

 

I've done / said the exact same thing to neighbour's kids, my nephew, etc. I can assure you ENTIRELY that there was NOTHING sexual in the motive, it is commonly referred to as goofing around. I can even picture in my mind the smile, the tone of voice....this was not a predator...this was a person trying to make a young-adult the center of attention.

 

We know from the OP that he knew she & the girl were together, do you REALLY think that he'd be stupid-enough to try and sexually assault a minor while her mother was 2 feet away?

 

He was JOKING, and given that the mother wasn't aware that touching was involved, suggest that the child wasn't as "uncomfortable" as the mother suggests.

 

Hence my comment that the mother is irrationally over-reacting.

 

I stand by it.

 

 

I am in total agreement with you.

[DocJohnB]

God, do you see filth and potential sexual abuse in everyone that comes in contact with your child? Poor kid.

 

Do you see it anywhere? It is there.

[angeljt]

Wow, this thread is unbelievable!!!

 

I sure could go for a couple of those dogs!!!

[newmexicoNita]

ya know, for a change I have pretty much stayed out of this one but I do wonder if mommy, like to many of us today do over-react? There was a time when little things did not bother us much, now everything that could be possibley taken out of context makes everyone nervous.

 

I can remember a story many of us found and still do very funny: some of you will not see the humor, others might: about 25 years ago while living in NO Va I was a real estate agent. We had a wonderful guy who worked for us (he is long gone now) At the time I think he was about 65, born in Spain, but an Anerican. He had a reputation of being the biggest flirt around and yet was one of the nicest men any of us had ever known. Anyway, one day he walked into our office, after showing property, saw a lady (my best frined) signing in for the afternoon and gave her a pop on the behind. This would have been funny except it wasn't my friend, it was an agent, from another offcie registering an offer on a piece of property. I don't know if she found this funny, we did. I do know one thing, she never thought that Ted was guilty of sexula harrassment or even touching her inappropriately. Maybe it is time we all lighten up a little.

 

Nita

[mbisson]

I agree with everyone on this thread....now you all figure it out ;) 'cause I ain't gonna tell anyone how to be a good parent. (much less try to read anyones mind)

[suzyed]

The mother writes:

 

 

 

You write:

 

 

 

Quite a spin you put on the OP's version, don't you think?

There is whole lot of spinning by those who were not there, did not experience what happened, who seem to think this woman is doing this for a free cruise?! UNBELIEVABLE!!! I have a hard time reading and then understanding the reaction of some of the posters here..I am almost(:rolleyes: ) speechless.

[Salt air hair]

ya know, for a change I have pretty much stayed out of this one but I do wonder if mommy, like to many of us today do over-react? There was a time when little things did not bother us much, now everything that could be possibley taken out of context makes everyone nervous.

 

Yes there was a time that "little things" did not bother us. The touchy feely "uncle" was allowed to "roam" freely and if a child said something the response they got, "well what did you do to let so & so think they could do that" . The girl in question here is a child, 13, not a grown woman or even young woman. The young man is at least 21. As far as taking things out of context, color me jaded. With what I see in the courts you cannot take enough precautions today to protect your children.

[cruizinwithkids]

There is whole lot of spinning by those who were not there,

 

Are you saying that your opinion is based on being there?

[suzyed]

I'd bet $5 that she was indeed a willing participant.

Shame on you.

[DocJohnB]

I don't know if she found this funny, we did. I do know one thing, she never thought that Ted was guilty of sexula harrassment or even touching her inappropriately. Maybe it is time we all lighten up a little.

 

Nita

 

 

Good story, Nita and I agree your guy was just being himself and, of course, it was a very different time.

 

However, even back then, if the guy from the GEM did what he did it would still be inappropriate. The girl was 13 years old, 13 is still considered a child. The "clerk" was an adult close to or 21 years of age. IT WAS INAPPROPRIATE!!!!!!! I am not sure, given those circumstances, that anybody needs to lighten up.

[redroses27]

nice warning to others how i would have handled it if someone put their hands on my precious granddaughter in front of me and i thought it was in an appropriate manner would have been hands off buddy and give him the look of death right then and there end of story

[redroses27]

sorry on past post in an inappropriate manner

[lil buddy]

Two quick;) comments........Has the snow melted ? She has gotten very quiet since her MIL's actions were called into play. People keep saying how different this whole situation would have been, with a 30 or 60 year old in Walmart. You bet it would be, to me it would have been a whole lot worse then a teenager "flirting" with another teenager. Get real , this is being blown way out of proportion but it's like a train wreck that you just can't turn away from

[sjbdtz]

Shame on you.

 

For having a thought? An opinion?

 

 

Shame on YOU for thinking I'm not entitled to one.

[sjbdtz]

Good story, Nita and I agree your guy was just being himself and, of course, it was a very different time.

 

However, even back then, if the guy from the GEM did what he did it would still be inappropriate. The girl was 13 years old, 13 is still considered a child. The "clerk" was an adult close to or 21 years of age. IT WAS INAPPROPRIATE!!!!!!! I am not sure, given those circumstances, that anybody needs to lighten up.

 

 

Dude...using YOUR terms of reference, every Santa Claus in every shopping mall should be on the Offender's list...they have kids SIT ON THEIR LAPS!!!! How Inappropriate is THAT?

 

I mean...he's a man...and they're UNDER 13....

 

Arrest them all.

[sjbdtz]

Two quick;) comments........Has the snow melted ? She has gotten very quiet since her MIL's actions were called into play. People keep saying how different this whole situation would have been, with a 30 or 60 year old in Walmart. You bet it would be, to me it would have been a whole lot worse then a teenager "flirting" with another teenager. Get real , this is being blown way out of proportion but it's like a train wreck that you just can't turn away from

 

 

This is the whole problem. I'll bet 10 to 1 that he wasn't flirting. Period.

 

He was JOKING. not flirting. Joking. Not flirting. Joking. Not flirting.

[BeachBumMama]

Two quick;) comments........Has the snow melted ? She has gotten very quiet since her MIL's actions were called into play. People keep saying how different this whole situation would have been, with a 30 or 60 year old in Walmart. You bet it would be, to me it would have been a whole lot worse then a teenager "flirting" with another teenager. Get real , this is being blown way out of proportion but it's like a train wreck that you just can't turn away from

Maybe like me, she saw all the ridiculous posts and felt there was no need to respond anymore.:rolleyes: Whatever anyone says here isn't going to change minds. People have different views. And I have to believe that those who think there was nothing wrong in it, either aren't parents or don't realize how YOUNG 13 actually is. A teenager, yes, but just barely. It's still a CHILD. I have a neice who is almost 13 and if this happened to her she'd have decked the guy herself. But that's her personality. The young girl this happened to was uncomfortable but didn't say anything about it at the time. Doesn't mean she should be accused of all the things she's been accused of on this thread because she dealt with it quietly.

 

Maybe some are confusing 13 and 16, there may not be many years between those numbers but there is a big emotional difference. You say it would be different if it were a 30 or 60 year old in Walmart, there's no difference. Unwanted and unasked for grabbing, touching, getting into one's personal space, whatever you want to call it, is still UNWANTED and inappropriate. I don't care how old the person is.

 

For people to say she was flirting, probably got a thrill out of it, a willing participate, you don't know this girl, and as others have said, shame on you. And that's being nice as I'd get booted off if I said what I really wanted to. It's a CHILD we're talking about here. Closer to 10 than 16 emotionally.

 

The OP's entire point has never been accusations other than stated. What he did was inappropriate. It's been others on here who have blown accusations out of proportion. Like a rumor, it starts with one thing and ends up another.

 

The guy needs to be re-trained on dealing with the public. He's not only endangering his health by acting in such a manner because as I and others have eluded to, he may just run into the person who is going to deal with it in a physical manner. But he's also endangering the cruise line with potential problems. That's been the whole point of contacting the cruise lines and letting them know what kind of 'character' this person is. Other's have said they thought they knew exactly who the OP was talking about and agreed he was very flirty, friendly, etc. That's all great, nice personality to have on a cruise ship. But staff, employees, etc. have to have a boundary line when it comes to physical contact. If not, how could you say it was okay for this guy to do something like that, and not okay for the 30 - 60 year old guy to do it?:rolleyes: Just because this guy was young and nice looking you think it's flirting, it's okay, she probably got a thrill... so what if it was the creepy 21 year old guy who vacuumed the hall floors at night and hid in the shadows with his sunglasses on and watched all the girls walk down the halls? What if he grabbed a 13 year old in this manner? Does that give you a different picture?

 

Was it all innocent and playful fun on this young guy's part? Probably. But that still doesn't make it right.

[TCF]

I don't know what happened...I wasn't there...maybe the OP is correct...maybe not....but it is certainly not to me to judge!

One thing is certain however! No one....for any reason...other than to protect another...has any right...legally or morally...to put hands on another person when they are not a loved one!!! To do so is a plain and simple assault! End of story.

The age doesn't matter....the sex doesn't matter...it is just wrong!

[Lovely Cruise]

I don't know what happened...I wasn't there...maybe the OP is correct...maybe not....but it is certainly not to me to judge!

One thing is certain however! No one....for any reason...other than to protect another...has any right...legally or morally...to put hands on another person when they are not a loved one!!! To do so is a plain and simple assault! End of story.

The age doesn't matter....the sex doesn't matter...it is just wrong!

 

Wow, I'm glad I don't "live in" your COLD WORLD!

[DocJohnB]

He was JOKING. not flirting. Joking. Not flirting. Joking. Not flirting.

 

Doesn't make a difference - it was inappropriate. Period.

 

Dude...using YOUR terms of reference, every Santa Claus in every shopping mall should be on the Offender's list...they have kids SIT ON THEIR LAPS!!!! How Inappropriate is THAT?

 

Couple of things:

 

1) The Santa comparison is an apples and oranges kind of thing. Santa and little kids is an accepted "norm". A 21 y.o grabbing a 13 year old is not an accepted norm . . . . at least in the real world of civilized society.

 

2) I am not "Dude" to you or anybody else. What I am is an older retired guy who happens to have a daughter and granddaughters, nieces and great-nieces too numerous to count and a man who happens to know what inappropriate behavior is.

[Jimmys Chippy]

 

God, do you see filth and potential sexual abuse in everyone that comes in contact with your child? Poor kid.

 

Well, it's better than believing that things like that don't go on. Do you find it easy to type whilst wearing one of these?

 

 

[Jimmys Chippy]

Doesn't make a difference - it was inappropriate. Period.

 

 

 

Couple of things:

 

1) The Santa comparison is an apples and oranges kind of thing. Santa and little kids is an accepted "norm". A 21 y.o grabbing a 13 year old is not an accepted norm . . . . at least in the real world of civilized society.

 

2) I am not "Dude" to you or anybody else. What I am is an older retired guy who happens to have a daughter and granddaughters, nieces and great-nieces too numerous to count and a man who happens to know what inappropriate behavior is.

 

 

 

I'm glad you're on here.

[ZoneHPH]

LET'S ALL STOP FIGHTING AND HAVE A HOT DOG. here...i brought enough for everyone...Nathan's style!

 

 

oh and if the genders were reversed...YOU KNOW we'd be high fiving the boy! one thing we can all agree...other than the OP and those with her...NONE OF US were there...(and i'll add "period")

 

i'm telling you...some of the most romantic relationships started with a little "inappropriate" contact of this type (a hand on top of a hand...a peck on the cheek...etc.) we're not talking sexual assault and all that legal mumbo jumbo. i'll put a month's salary on the video tapes of the ship and see just what BOTH the "boy" and the 13 were doing all week.

 

c'mon people we were all teenagers. back then i do believe we knew where our boundaries were...but having a crush during your adolescent years...we've all had that.

 

ok so my DW and i cruise together...i'm a very sociable guy...and i'll "touch" a person just so show i am "with them in the conversation". MALE OR FEMALE...and my wife as well. have we all lost our social skills? touching (of the non-predatory nature) is all part of our social actions.

 

OR...WOULD YOU RATHER WE ALL BE DOGS AND CATS WHERE LICKING EACH OTHER'S ________ IS AN ACCEPTABLE FORM OF "HELLO". it is of my opinion that we as a "civilized" society have regressed. look at what we as a culture find acceptable forms of entertainment....reality tv...ulta-contraversial programs (remember when madonna USED to be contraversial?...or even the Beatles...c'mon!!!

 

i'd like to know when we started being overly paranoid of our fellow citizen. sure there are "bad people" out there. but maybe they are no longer "anomalies", "psychologically challenged", or just plain old "crazy", but products of our own society? have we failed them because we don't "touch" and show them love?

 

please be reminded i have fire extinguishers, a hose, and a bucket brigade if you choose to flame me.