Am I crazy......I can't leave my kids??

[Sugar*Magnolia]

It often puzzles me why posters beleive they can give medical advice, but whatevaaaaa...............

 

To the OP: I think many can understand and relate to how you feel. I know I can. We have always left our kids for short times at certain ages in their life. When they were too young to enjoy, know or miss anything we left them with my parents. As my kids got older so did my parents, lol and the kids are SO much fun and great company that we always take them on 'vacations', (not get aways that are just for 'us', which are a 2-3 days max).

 

The first time we left them WAS hard, DD was 18, DS was 14, it was a 5 night to Bermuda and they both worked at a local day camp. They went our for dinner 3 nights, went to my parents 2 nights and had a ball.

We spoke every morning and instant messaged every night.

 

We all do what we feel comfy doing. If you're initial thought was they can stay with friends and be fine then go with it and ENJOY your cruise with DH!!! If you're reallyyyy questioning it, book them a cabin to share. You know you will still have LOTS of alone couple time, but you can comfortably know they are on vaca with you.

 

Most important is to do what makes YOU feel most comfortable. :) :D

[CruiseLover72]

What are you going to do when your son is 18? or 20? What if God forbid he goes away to college:eek: or gets married:eek: and you have to share him.

 

Cut the cord woman!:eek: :D

 

Have you thought about the possiblity that you may be nervous about spending one on one time with hubby? Just something to think about. If my DH wouldn't leave the kids to spend a few days alone with me we would have some serious problems. Show DH that he is your #1 man.

 

It's one thing if people have a small child but, 10, 14?!? Wow!

 

I feel this was really harsh. As you can see from this thread, many people feel anxiety about leaving their children; I'm not alone!

 

I certainly can "cut the cord" as you say. My son spent the last 2 summers with his grandmother in Georgia (I'm in Pennsylvania). I'm certainly not nervous about spending time with my husband - that's about the stupidest comment I've ever heard. I just have to be comfortable with my child's babysitter, and I wasn't on the one trip I cancelled.

[01Sweetpea]

Our kids are 15, 13 & 13, and DH & I try and get away at least once a year, even if it's just for a long weekend. I think it keeps our marriage stronger.

 

That being said, any big vacation we take we bring the kids. It will only be a few more years before the kids don't want to vacation with us.

 

However I am thinking about a med cruise for our 10th anniv (2012), and with those prices it will be DH & I ONLY!

 

If the kids want to go to Europe, they can do it on their OWN DIME!

[cdrcruisin]

[i am thinking about a med cruise for our 10th anniv (2012), and with those prices it will be DH & I ONLY! If the kids want to go to Europe, they can do it on their OWN DIME!]

 

I had to laugh at this one! My DH & I are leaving in TWO WEEKS for a 12-day Med cruise to celebrate 25th anniversary. DS thought he was going to get to come along. We told him that when he has (1) Finished university; (2) Worked to support a family; (3) Stayed married to the same person for 25 years; and (4) Saved the cash... then he will have EARNED a similar cruise. Until then, he has university to deal with. :-)

[01Sweetpea]

[i am thinking about a med cruise for our 10th anniv (2012), and with those prices it will be DH & I ONLY! If the kids want to go to Europe, they can do it on their OWN DIME!]

 

I had to laugh at this one! My DH & I are leaving in TWO WEEKS for a 12-day Med cruise to celebrate 25th anniversary. DS thought he was going to get to come along. We told him that when he has (1) Finished university; (2) Worked to support a family; (3) Stayed married to the same person for 25 years; and (4) Saved the cash... then he will have EARNED a similar cruise. Until then, he has university to deal with. :-)

 

Enjoy your cruise!

 

My kids are going to be VERY shocked when they find out they aren't going. The just presume ANY cruise we take they are coming. SILLY KIDS!

[48michelle_s]

We have three children - 31, 29 and 14. I love taking our 14 yr old with us and he comes away with us often BUT I also love having time away with my husband. We compromise, we always have one holiday away together as a couple and then whenever possible and money permitting, we take the whole family away - kids, partners,grandkids.

When you are a close family, as you clearly are, nothing as small as a week away will cause anything other than sheer pleasure at getting back together and lots of things to talk about. Also, you can look forward to years and years of family holidays (they just get bigger as partners join in) so don't worry about not having a limited amount of time with your kids. They're your kids forever.

[jebl]

Many years ago, when I was a snotty teenager, I was complaing to my Mother about Dad's punishment for something I did. I wanted her to take my side not his. Her answer to me was "You will leave someday but he will be my husband always". It really stuck with me and the message she gave me was to be supportive of my spouse and not let our kids play us, one against the other.

 

If kids are your only focus, what do you have when the kids are gone? I think it is very important to have a life as a couple as well as a life as parents. Kids are a blessing, but they will one day have mates of their own and lives of their own. Not that they will exclude you, but you need to be able to enjoy each other when that time comes

[twoputt.plusone]

My husband and I will be celebrating our 16th anniversary....we have the perfect opportunity to go on a cruise......BUT....I am on the fence about leaving our kids!!! We have NEVER gone anywhere without them.....I am the one having the problem....my husband has no problem, my kids who are older, 15, 12, & 10, are very secure and don't have a problem with us going away. They would stay with different friends for the week, I know they would be fine. I really want to go!!! ....but then....

 

Has anyone experienced this......it's driving me crazy. We have had a bad couple of years, losing our parents... I am a very level headed person...except for this issue!!!!:confused:

 

The longer you leave it, the harder it's going to get. Your kids will appreciate the break too, I'm sure.

 

2P.P1

[Fran Harp]

I feel this was really harsh. As you can see from this thread, many people feel anxiety about leaving their children; I'm not alone!

 

I certainly can "cut the cord" as you say. My son spent the last 2 summers with his grandmother in Georgia (I'm in Pennsylvania). I'm certainly not nervous about spending time with my husband - that's about the stupidest comment I've ever heard. I just have to be comfortable with my child's babysitter, and I wasn't on the one trip I cancelled.

 

I tend to agree, that was really pretty harsh. Regardless of how old we are, and how old our kids are, we always worry about them. I'd be glad to tell you horror stories of lying awake late at night imagining one son dead on the streets somewhere. We can't get away from the worry - but we can learn to contain it.

 

But I don't agree that just doing whatever we feel comfortable with is good either. Too many women spend so much time with their kids, that their whole identity becomes that - and then have no idea what to do with themselves when the kids are gone. It is important to learn to be independent - both them and us.

 

My kids are now 32, 33, 35 and 36. I still worry. I would worry more if they were living at home - so there is a blessing in having them out of the house - but we realised that we *all* needed time away from each other. So we began taking separate vacations from the kids - and even separate vacations from each other. But I have also learned in my scant 63 years that when the kids are gone, you are still looking at 35 or so years of life without them around. But it isn't easy, for sure.

 

So I still say - for the mental and family health of everyone concerned, go on the cruise - stay in touch by phone or email - it's worth it.;)

 

Fran in Toronto

[land lover]

Toooooooo many posts to read but my 2 cents.

 

If you have Friends to leave your children with Go!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Kids need the opportunity to see how other families get along and other parents make decisions...

 

M & D......need some time not to be responsible for their kids...if you have recently lost family members this is a great time to talk to other adults, so many have stories to tell. My DH and I went on a cruise right after my Dad had passed away and so many men reminded me of him, it gave me such a good feeling chatting with them.

 

Enjoy

[Onessa]

My DH and I have plenty of time without our DD (she is involved in athletics, forensics, service organizations, and has a pretty active social life). We enjoy the time we can all spend together as a family. If you have reservations about being away from your kids, explore them seriously before making a decision. If you enjoy your kids' company, why feel the need to "get away"?