Am I crazy......I can't leave my kids??

[CondoDiva]

My husband and I will be celebrating our 16th anniversary....we have the perfect opportunity to go on a cruise......BUT....I am on the fence about leaving our kids!!! We have NEVER gone anywhere without them.....I am the one having the problem....my husband has no problem, my kids who are older, 15, 12, & 10, are very secure and don't have a problem with us going away. They would stay with different friends for the week, I know they would be fine. I really want to go!!! ....but then....

 

Has anyone experienced this......it's driving me crazy. We have had a bad couple of years, losing our parents... I am a very level headed person...except for this issue!!!!:confused:

[Barbee524]

Deep breaths Suzie. Your kids will be fine without you for a week and appreciate you all the more when you get home (and you them).:)

[galavant3]

My husband and I will be celebrating our 16th anniversary....we have the perfect opportunity to go on a cruise......BUT....I am on the fence about leaving our kids!!! We have NEVER gone anywhere without them.....I am the one having the problem....my husband has no problem, my kids who are older, 15, 12, & 10, are very secure and don't have a problem with us going away. They would stay with different friends for the week, I know they would be fine. I really want to go!!! ....but then....

 

Has anyone experienced this......it's driving me crazy. We have had a bad couple of years, losing our parents... I am a very level headed person...except for this issue!!!!:confused:

 

Yes. I know exactly how you feel. I felt the same way. Go, have a great time. Once you see that they are fine with you gone for a short time, you'll feel much more comfortable the next time. Look at it as an important investment in your marriage.

[FitzLA]

Yes, you are absolutely crazy. Go on vacation without your kids. After 15 years of kids, You need this. And even more than that, you deserve it!!! GO!!! And have a fantastic time!!!!!

[HorrorFan]

We take our kids with us on every vacation. They won't be with us forever, so its nice to be with them while we can be, and while they still want to travel with us.:cool:

[sillylizzie]

After 15 years with your children, one week away won't be a big deal. In essence, everyone will be getting a nice break from the norm. Yours will just be on a cruise ship. :)

[funfamilyfun]

Although I agree that your kids will be fine....when we went on a cruise without our kids, all we thought about was how much fun they would have had on the cruise. On our second cruise, we brought the kids with us. We had 2 cabins, the kids had fun, we had plenty of family time and alone time. When we go away now, we go places that our kids wouldn't like...like Vegas. Your kids are older than ours were and I'm sure they will have fun with their friends!

[yj2cute]

In a word, YES!

[dirtgirl]

I felt incredibly guilty the first time I left my kids - but once I got on the ship, that changed. I had a ball! I think everyone needs a break from the norm once in a while. They aren't babies, and they will be fine.;)

[NoelsCat]

My husband and I will be celebrating our 16th anniversary....we have the perfect opportunity to go on a cruise......BUT....I am on the fence about leaving our kids!!! We have NEVER gone anywhere without them.....I am the one having the problem....my husband has no problem, my kids who are older, 15, 12, & 10, are very secure and don't have a problem with us going away. They would stay with different friends for the week, I know they would be fine. I really want to go!!! ....but then....

 

Has anyone experienced this......it's driving me crazy. We have had a bad couple of years, losing our parents... I am a very level headed person...except for this issue!!!!:confused:

 

 

Why not get them an inside room and bring them along?

 

I don't think you are crazy at all. I know a lot of people will disagree -- but I will have plenty of time to live childless when my son leaves the nest. You can have the best of both worlds -- you and DH in a seperate room (with a romantic balcony?) and kids in a cheaper inside nearby...

[English Jane]

Next May will be our first ever holiday (Med cruise) without our kids - they will be 19 and 17. We are like you - we like being with our children so much that we always wanted them to come too - that's not to say anything against those who do go away without their children.

 

You are not crazy - do what ever feels right at the time.

[sweetcruiser106]

First of congrats on your anniversary. Second, by all means, go!! After 15 years of raising your children. You and your husband deserve some time alone together. Have fun!

Anne

[green eyed lady]

No you are not crazy at all. We always take our kids (16, 19 & 20) when we cruise and we have a great time on our family vacations. I would spend too much time worrying about them if I left them home. What we have done recently (and again this Nov) is cruise with just my youngest while the 2 oldest are away at college. It took me a long time to agree to even that...but when you think about it, it's not like I would be seeing them anyway during that time since they live away, but we do this in addition to our annual summer family cruise. Heck, I hope they want to go away with us even after they're married...I would love to vacation with my future DILs and grandchildren ;)

[masonpips]

Mine are 9 & 10 and I've left them for up to 4 days (when they were younger like 2-4) with my mom/aunt while we skied. It's hard to do, but if we could do a romantic cruise for 2, I'd do it in a heartbeat now!

 

Set up some ways to check in w/each other (e-mail via a yahoo or google account, the cost of checking in is totatlly worth your feeling that everything is ok at home). Since yours are older, it will be fine! GO!

[rclcruzer]

Funny you posted this.....I am going through the same thing, accept my kids are older......they will be 14 and 16 at time of sailing next year. I have those darn guilty feelings!

One is in college, getting closer to the time when my DH and I can say "let's go on a cruise in a few months, just for the heck of it!!" They are sooo spoiled, having been on 4 cruises in a row in 4 years, with another 2 years previous for a family reunion. They are so bummed, but they get it now. It's a cruise for our 20th anniversary.

The longest we have been away was a total of 5 day's when we go to Hawaii. 9 day's is a bit longer!

I know they will be fine, and we deserve it~ I keep telling myself that :p

Just go and have fun....you only live once and you deserve it too!

[kryssaren]

Suzie,

I'm so glad to hear I'm not the only one who feels that way. You hesitate, but just go! I think that once we're away, like a switch the worry turns off and you and your hubby will be like newlyweds again. That's been my experience. My husband and I have left the girls (now 15 and 18) with trusted friends while cruising four years in a row, yet I still worry before each time, with nightmares and all. But, I know that as soon as we say our goodbyes I'll be able to just relax. Of course I think about the girls a lot and try to stay in touch daily. They, on the other hand, are just fine and tell me how they look forward to that time of year as they get closer as sisters and feel more grown up while we're away. So, it's good for them, too.

Enjoy your cruise!

:) Ann

[honeywell]

You are not crazy! It is a mother's right to worry about her children, no matter how old they are. That being said, try your best to go --- if you are leaving your kids with responsible adults who can take care of them in an emergency, then you will be fine.

[Honey's Gal]

We all go thru this, it is difficult for the first time to go away without our children. Our first time, we went on a cruise with 12 of our friends. No children. Boy, I though I would never make it thru the first few days....I did. I survived and so did my children.

 

Actually my kids had a great time while we were gone. They were spoiled by my sister and BIL who have no children. I think my biggest fear was that they couldn't get along without ME.. of course I was wrong.

 

We never had another problem, we went away with our kids and with our friends and we haven't looked back.

 

Our kids are grown now and both love to travel.

[Desert Cruizers]

I agree with the rest, both of you go on the cruise and just enjoy yourselves. last Cruise my husband & I were on, a 17 day Panama, a couple brought their 2 1/2 yr old boy, ( No babysitter) he became the life of the cruise marching about with the 50 + year olds. He even had his own Sea pass Card. :)

[cb at sea]

Do it! Leave them. They will be absolutely fine! The purpose of raising kids is for them NOT to need you all the time!

Go, and re-connect with your husband. Contrary to how you feel, your HUSBAND should be your #1 priority. Kids should come second in a relationship, because, without the parents, what would the kids have?

[cassieroll]

We've never taken our children on a cruise with us. When we went in April this year, it was the first time we left them without a family member. They were fine! I admit, I was worried at first but they all made it to school on time everyday, activities, homework, etc was all fine.

 

We left them home with our neighbors. They have 4 teenagers and they would all sleep here or go across the field to their house. It worked very well and we will definitely do it again.

 

My children are 7, 9, 11.

[cassieroll]

We take our kids with us on every vacation. They won't be with us forever, so its nice to be with them while we can be, and while they still want to travel with us.:cool:

We also take family vacations with our children.

 

Cruising is our time to be grown-ups. :D Let's face it.. a vacation with children, is never really a vacation for mom! ;)

[gg3]

My husband and I will be celebrating our 16th anniversary....we have the perfect opportunity to go on a cruise......BUT....I am on the fence about leaving our kids!!! We have NEVER gone anywhere without them.....I am the one having the problem....my husband has no problem, my kids who are older, 15, 12, & 10, are very secure and don't have a problem with us going away. They would stay with different friends for the week, I know they would be fine. I really want to go!!! ....but then....

 

Has anyone experienced this......it's driving me crazy. We have had a bad couple of years, losing our parents... I am a very level headed person...except for this issue!!!!:confused:

 

Probably your biggest problem is that you "have NEVER gone anywhere without them" and that is a shame for all of you. Then when you do have separation time....it is very hard for MOM. You deserve "time out" and your husband deserves your time......all to himself.....not to have to share it.....and you deserve his time. You have both been through some very emotional times lately and deserve some down time. With the kids along, you would still be all wound up planning things for them, getting them up and dressed and fed and ready for excursions......etc. A cruise is the perfect opportunity for quiet, peaceful, meaningful time spent.....without the kids. Are you crazy to be anxious about this??? Of course not. You are a mama hen who can not leave the nest and the chicks......but if you have great places for them to stay......treat yourself and your husband to this special time. Will you miss them and think about them ?? Of course. But just remember that this is a great investment in your marriage and appreciate the fact that you can do this. And have a fantastic cruise.....just the two of you. gg

[DonnaK]

We take our kids with us on every vacation. They won't be with us forever, so its nice to be with them while we can be, and while they still want to travel with us.:cool:

 

I agree with you! We always take our kids, and make every vacation a family one. As we only take one vacation a year, it's not like we can pick and choose, like some other posters suggested. Our oldest will be off to college next year, and our youngest is right behind her, so before we know it, our kids will have flown the nest and won't want to travel with us anymore. So, we make every trip an opportunity to be together as a family now.

[honeywell]

Another idea - between now and your cruise, practice going on short "overnighters" or weekends without your kids. Tell your spouse this idea and have him set it up as a surprise and "kidnap" you without your prior knowledge for a night. (so you can't chicken out) When the time comes to cruise it won't be the first time and it won't be such a shock to go for 7 days without them.