Bringing a friend on a cruise....

[calicruise74]

My DD (now 16) has been on 6 cruises and would like to bring a friend (first timer) on our next cruise-time and place TBD. I am very interested to hear what type of arragements you have made for your child to bring a friend...such as:

• Did you cover all the costs? (cruise price, shore excursions)
  
• If not, what costs did you ask the other parent to cover?

She had a friend with us on our last land vacation. We had a condo which was the same price regardless of how many people, and then we covered food, her activites and she brought her own shopping money. Her parents paid for her plane ticket from Orlando.

 

I guess I am concerned about the etiquitte of inviting, then asking them to pay, but then I know everyones financial situation is different...I dont know :confused: . help?

 

Thanks!

[kitty9]

Lots of people do what you're planning on doing. But I think if you invite a friend, you're the one who's expected to pay, with the girl covering her own expenses once she's on board. You'd probably also be expected to pay for her flights, since it was you who did the inviting. You might want to talk it out with the girl's parents and get a feel for what they might be thinking. I know if I was the one doing the inviting, I'd pay for the cruise.

 

Just realize that you will probably be sharing the cabin with this girl. Since she's not related to you, you cannot book her in a separate cabin with your daughter. She's an unrelated minor, and you'd have to have an adult booked in the cabin with both of them. It's different if she was a niece or grandchild, but being unrelated to you, she can't be booked in a separate cabin from yours.

[6rugrats]

I find this issue tends to get very complicated and it's easy to have misunderstandings.

 

Just figure out exactly what you are willing/able to pay for before you discuss this with the girl's parents. They will need to know all the details before they could make a decision. It's probably best to keep this between the adults until they make a decision.

[calicruise74]

Thank you both for your responses.

 

Good advice about keeping the arrangments between the adults until finalized.

 

Heres what I was initially thinking and I am open to feedback and opinons here.....we would be up for paying for the cruise and all onboard expenses if the parent was willing to cover the airfare (this is only if we had to fly)....otherwise we can drive to LA/San Diego ports and I would also recommend that they give their daughter some cash for souveniers at the ports.

[Crusin6]

I guess since we already cover the costs for our 4 dd's that I find it interesting that just because your daughter wants to invite a friend that you would be expected to pay for it.

 

If I am correct, it sounds as though you are a family of 3 in one cabin on previous cruises. Should a friend of your daughter's join you would you still get one cabin? Would it be mom, dad, dd and friend?

 

I would think this would not happen and you would go from one cabin paying 1st, 2nd, 3rd rates to 2 cabins paying 1st and 2nd in each cabin.

 

If I am incorrect please forgive me as I don't have all the facts.

 

What would I do:

As we do not need another person along, I wouldn't even invite.

 

But since that is not your case, I feel that you should just figure out what the friend costs, airfare, cruise, tips, excursions and tell the other parent the number. If they want their daughter to join you, they pay that price, fairly simple.

 

Now the worst thing that could happen would be if someone invited my daughter on a cruise and offerred to pay for her. I would not allow it and if I let her go I would pay her way. How on earth could I and why would I want the responsibility to reciprocate?

 

Also, I have seen on many cruises that when families travel together, many, certainly not all, of the kids stick with the family and have a great time. It is obvious by just watching them. On the other hand, when it is apparant that a friend is along, you see young teens, male and female ,acting as though they are adults. The parents have more freedom with a friend along and loosen up on watching the kids.

 

While we do not keep our girls chained to us on a cruise, we, and others realize, that it is a floating city of 3000 strangers and watch our kids accordingly.

 

Back to the original question, the parent of the invitee pays their way.

There is no need to impress anyone in these hard economic times.

[calicruise74]

addictedtraveler-Yes, forgot to mention that we would get another cabin, so yep, you are spot on with regard from going to 3rd and 4th person rates, to now 1st and 2nd again for another cabin. You raise good points!

 

DD has never had an issue meeting friends on cruises. As a matter of fact, the gal that went to Puerto Rico with us was a cruisemate she met in 2007 and we've kept in touch. So I guess her bringing a friend on a cruise was like a neat idea more than anything.

[Crusin6]

addictedtraveler-Yes, forgot to mention that we would get another cabin, so yep, you are spot on with regard from going to 3rd and 4th person rates, to now 1st and 2nd again for another cabin. You raise good points!

 

DD has never had an issue meeting friends on cruises. As a matter of fact, the gal that went to Puerto Rico with us was a cruisemate she met in 2007 and we've kept in touch. So I guess her bringing a friend on a cruise was like a neat idea more than anything.

Calicruise-- I am glad I didn't offend you by my post but I am just not keen on bringing anyone else along...we don't even ask extended family along. We are a big family already and it is just so complicated with everyone's schedule and just coordinating things that an extra person won't work for us.

 

It is true about the extra room. These days the separate room is just about mandatory. For everyone involved.

 

We just returned from the 12 day Carnival Grand Med and we all had such a great time, costly but great. The cruise was cheap, it was everything else, airfare, ports etc. However, it was the best thing we ever did for our girls and the best family vacation we ever took. Hope to do it again in 2011 or 12. Our eldest dd is the college class of '12 and dd #2 is the HS class of '12 so it will be time to go again.

 

 

Enjoy your cruise whatever you decide.

[Maxiecat3]

When we went on our cruise on the Liberty OTS, my college age DD asked if her roommate could come along. I was upfront on expected costs before she approached her roommate. What was decided from our end and was agreeable with her roommate was: See had to pay for her cruise fare (with taxes etc. it came to about $550) and any spending money for herself. I covered excursions, which was almost as much as the cruise fare, tips and any expenses when we were all together (Chops, drinks at shows, on shore expenses like Margueritaville (SP?) etc.). My DD and her roommate had a great time and as long I know either my DS or DD friends, I would not hesitate to take someone else on a later cruise.

Gregg

[CanadianTwosome]

On our upcoming cruise, we have a group of friends and family joining us. We invited all of them, but we are expecting them to pay their own way. I don't see why inviting a child necessarily means that you are responsible for their tickets any more than you are when you invite adults.

 

My daughter has let many of her friends know that we are going on another cruise this year and her best friend said that she wished she could come along. I told her that we would be happy to take her along. I also told her how much it would cost so that she could tell her parents.

 

Would I pay for another child to join us if we could afford it? Maybe. The fact is that we can't. I don't think there is any 'set' etiquette regarding invitations, though, as long as you're clear when you extend them. I see absolutely nothing wrong with explaining to the the other parents that your child would love to have theirs along, but that they would have to pay whatever amount. When I was in high school, kids used to go on ski trips all the time, but nobody ever said, 'Hey, do you want to come on a ski trip with me? I'll pay.' Rather, they would hand their friends a copy of the trip flyer and the kids would take them home and show their parents and ask if they could go.

 

So... basically, I think it's absolutely acceptable to let the other parents know how much they will need to contribute for their child to come along. Also, if the parents paid airfare last year, then I think it's pretty safe to say that they're okay with the idea, too. :)

[marska]

On our upcoming cruise, we have a group of friends and family joining us. We invited all of them, but we are expecting them to pay their own way. I don't see why inviting a child necessarily means that you are responsible for their tickets any more than you are when you invite adults.

 

My daughter has let many of her friends know that we are going on another cruise this year and her best friend said that she wished she could come along. I told her that we would be happy to take her along. I also told her how much it would cost so that she could tell her parents.

 

Would I pay for another child to join us if we could afford it? Maybe. The fact is that we can't. I don't think there is any 'set' etiquette regarding invitations, though, as long as you're clear when you extend them. I see absolutely nothing wrong with explaining to the the other parents that your child would love to have theirs along, but that they would have to pay whatever amount. When I was in high school, kids used to go on ski trips all the time, but nobody ever said, 'Hey, do you want to come on a ski trip with me? I'll pay.' Rather, they would hand their friends a copy of the trip flyer and the kids would take them home and show their parents and ask if they could go.

 

So... basically, I think it's absolutely acceptable to let the other parents know how much they will need to contribute for their child to come along. Also, if the parents paid airfare last year, then I think it's pretty safe to say that they're okay with the idea, too. :)

 

I really think the answer to this depends upon your personal finacial status. Many years ago, my DD was invited to join her friend on a holiday cruise (and later, a trip to Cabo and then a year later, a fabulous trip to Hawaii). There is absolutely NO WAY I could have paid for even the air fare for any of these trips. This family was very gracious and were aware of that fact and asked for nothing other than for my DD to be a companion for their DD. I did give my DD spending money- that is all I could afford.

I am SO GRATEFUL to this family for providing my DD with experiences and travel opportunities that I could not, at that time, afford. She benefited so much from seeing places very different from her home, meeting people from around the world, and dipping her toe into an entirely new world.

She is now in her 20's and I believe those travel experiences set her apart from many of her peers. She has also sold ME on cruising!!!

Now that my financial situation is better, I am paying for her cruises (and her older sister), LOVING it ( the cruises, not spending the money LOL) , and trying to figure out how I can spread the love and pay for one each of their friends to join us on a special cruise sometime soon. Paying it Forward.

 

If you can do it, and like the idea of giving a kid that you and your child like an opportunity to see a bigger world, pay for the friend.

If you don't have the cash, don't bring it up. My opinion.

[cruizinrican]

We went on a cruise with my ex-husband (we were seperated at the time and he invited us and was paying for everything). We were a family of 5 with 3 kids and the 2 younger ones would stick close together onboard as my ex and I would but DD16 at the time had no one her age to hang with. So I came up with the idea that she should invite a friend to join us.

 

She invited her BF and her parents said ok and agreed to pay for her plane ticket to PR (our Port of embarktion), her cruise fare and gave her like $100 for spending money. We never saw that money all week and we wound up paying for all her excursions (5 islands that week), drinks and whatever else she wanted to purchase was all charged back to our acct. onboard. Plus we stayed in PR for a week after we got off ship before flying back home. So we also paid for her meals while in SJ, and enterance fee to whatever else we were doing that day.

 

We wound up paying for about $600 out of our pocket for her and my ex was complaining about it nightly. But in the end it all worked out bc DD really enjoyed her company.

 

PS- But her friend was a total slob and had their cabin a mess by the frist nite and had completely taken over every inch of space in the cabin with her clothes over the other's 3 beds and make-up, hair products all over bathroom and vanity?!:rolleyes: She even came to the show one night squeezed into my DD's evening dress (She was like 3 sizes bigger than her so she was busting the seams and even flashed my ex and I sitting across from her):eek: And she went to the internet one night and was chatting with friends on our dime $64 charge from that!

 

So beware and make sure you can deal with the other person for the entire time while gone bc you just cant drop them back off at home!

[fleming4261]

We have allowed our DD, who is a 16 year old only child, to bring her best friend on our last two cruises. She did a Disney cruise without a buddy as a younger teen, and said it was a little hard making friends as a lot of the other teens had siblings or cousins on board. We are lucky enough to be able to pay for the cruise and excursions for her friend, but we have had her parents pay the plane fare and give her spending money. Didn't think that was too much to ask for! The girls met tons of other kids, but it was nice that they had each other. We felt a little better thinking they would look after each other, since, if they are having fun, you don't see too much of them except at meals. This summer she is taking a different friend and we will use the same arrangements. We book the girls an interior room across from our balcony room. I know they're not babies, but it just seems a little safer to book them a room with no balcony. We have never had big issues with their behavior - they are responsible for checking in using the house phone at specifed times, and we periodically find them (or as they would say, spy on them) to make sure they are where they say they are. One thing I would emphasize is to be very careful and get a notarized letter saying that you are authorized to take them abroad and that you will be allowed to get them medical treatment if necessary.