teens sleeping arrangements

[happiness2all]

First, I hope you will not think I am a bad parent by even asking this question. I'm asking because I want to do the right thing.

 

My husband and I will be staying in a mini-suite with our two kids - DD-17 and step-son 13. As of right now, we have it set up that the kids will each have a twin bed and my husband and I will share the sofa bed. My DH thinks this is wrong and thinks we should get the bed and the kids should share the sofa. What is the "right" thing to do?

[sunandseagirl617]

There is no wrong or right answer here, it's what is the most comfortable!

 

We have the same scenario as you. There is no way my 9 year old daughter would share a bed with her 15 year old brother, not peacefully.;)

 

We leave this Sunday, my husband and I are getting the sofa bed and the kid's are getting the twin beds!

[sandytoes03]

I agree with your husband! You guys should get the bed.

[scubagirrl]

First, I hope you will not think I am a bad parent by even asking this question. I'm asking because I want to do the right thing.

 

My husband and I will be staying in a mini-suite with our two kids - DD-17 and step-son 13. As of right now, we have it set up that the kids will each have a twin bed and my husband and I will share the sofa bed. My DH thinks this is wrong and thinks we should get the bed and the kids should share the sofa. What is the "right" thing to do?

 

I honestly think you are right.. with a 17 year old daughter. And a pubecent step son.. it's doesn't seem right to have them share a bed.

 

No matter who's in the room.

[reallyitsmema]

While I agree the adults should get the beds, I wouldn't have opposite sex teens sleeping together. Have you checked to see if you can get a cabin with 2 pullmans instead of a sofabed? What about a roll a way bed? Some cruise lines do have them, I would call and ask.

[happiness2all]

While I agree the adults should get the beds, I wouldn't have opposite sex teens sleeping together. Have you checked to see if you can get a cabin with 2 pullmans instead of a sofabed? What about a roll a way bed? Some cruise lines do have them, I would call and ask.

 

 

Thank you all for your honest responses and not judging my question. I did check on a roll away, but the ship said our mini-suite is too small for one. So, we will keep things as is.

[boulders]

How about booking a nearby inside cabin? I sometimes find that the 1st and 2nd rates for an inside are the same or or less than the 3rd and 4th for a higher end cabin.

[6rugrats]

First, I hope you will not think I am a bad parent by even asking this question. I'm asking because I want to do the right thing.

 

My husband and I will be staying in a mini-suite with our two kids - DD-17 and step-son 13. As of right now, we have it set up that the kids will each have a twin bed and my husband and I will share the sofa bed. My DH thinks this is wrong and thinks we should get the bed and the kids should share the sofa. What is the "right" thing to do?

 

We have stepsiblings in our family and I would do exactly as you are. It's just a better idea for opposite sex children of this age to sleep in a separate bed. You are not a bad parent; you sound like a very wise one.

[nothriver]

I'm a really mean mom, I'd take a sleeping bag and make the boy sleep on the floor. ;)

 

I'm divorced so our situation is a bid different, but my kids are 3 and 15 and it is not realistic that they sleep together. Normally I sleep with the little one and my son sleeps alone, but my DD is no fun to sleep with. For our cruise, I researched the types of cabins on the ship. After I found the type I wanted, I literally checked online every single day until I got a "family suite", which has the bed, a divider and TWO hide a beds. That way we have 3 beds. This will make our trip so much more enjoyable for all of us. I'll probably still sleep on the hide a bed, since I expect my son will be out later than I will and they he won't have to climb over anyone to get to bed.

 

Although on our last trip, I shared a queen with my teenage son and let my 3 yr old light sleeper sleep alone. I really did not want to sleep with him but it worked out great for me, much better than sleeping with a squimy preschooler that hits, kicks, pulls my hair, and generally won't sleep! Not so sure how my teenager felt about sleeping with me, since I snore.

 

Not sure what is available on your ship but maybe there is some other configuration? Pull down berths instead of a hide a bed that the kids would have to share?

 

In the future, maybe consider another arrangement, two inside cabins, or a family type of cabin.

 

I hope you have a great trip and you all get a good nights sleep!

[cb at sea]

I agree--parents get the bed--kids can sleep anywhere and they will! Put one on the sofa and the other on the floor. I would NEVER give the kids the better bed---when they're adults, they can pay for their own bed!

[beachchick]

I agree--parents get the bed--kids can sleep anywhere and they will! Put one on the sofa and the other on the floor. I would NEVER give the kids the better bed---when they're adults, they can pay for their own bed!

 

I concur that the parents/adults should have the better bed, but with a caveat. We've heard that those sofa sleepers aren't exactly comfortable or spacious. No way my DH and I could or would do a cruise sharing one.

 

The caveat is this: Unless they cannot work out any way for the two teens to have their own beds. They are step-siblings and likely would be quite uncomfortable sharing a bed at that age. I don't blame them and don't think it would be right to put them in that situation. We don't even know how long they've been steps. If since a very young age, they are probably more comfortable in their relationship (bossy big sister, annoying younger brother); if this is a recently blended family, they are probably still finding their way toward being comfortable. Either way, I believe they should have separate beds. I can't imagine two teenagers, basically full grown, sharing a sleeper sofa unless it's huge with plenty of space between them (where they could even use pillows to "separate" the bed).

 

What about bringing one of those airbed things for the 13-y/o? Some parents have done that in order to give each child/teen his/her own sleeping space. I don't know if that's doable, but it's a possibility. The size and layout of mini-suites varies from line to line and ship to ship. On some, there would be oodles of space for one; on others it might not be possible unless the coffee table or other furniture was removed. I remember reading posts some time back about cabin stewards taking care of arranging bedding and putting the airbed away during the day. (I would also expect that those stewards received an extra handsome tip for the extra care and effort involved.)

 

Of course, a second cabin would be a great idea if it's affordable and if the teens would be comfortable sharing a cabin and having their own space (and bathroom!). An inside cabin across the passageway would be ideal--Teens tend to love the dark so they can sleep in.

 

happiness2all:

 

Of course you are not a bad parent for asking! You are concerned for the well-being of both teens. That's what a mom does. Your DH may not realize (or be remembering) how shy and uncomfortable most boys become around that age (all that "starting to become a man" stuff) or understand that your DD may also be embarrassed by the situation. You can't force kids, especially ones who haven't been sibs since birth, to be comfortable in all situations together. Better for mom and dad to "suffer" in the sofa bed (not at all an ideal situation and one that I would do my best to avoid). It would be a sacrifice, no question about it. If you have absolutely no other choice, then I suggest you and your DH "make up" for that sacrifice by planning a couple of intimate dinners together--without the kids, some "couples only" time by way of a couple's spa treatment or similar, and some extra "goodies";) for your DH both before and after the cruise. (I'm all for bribery, incentives, and rewards for sacrifice, especially because couples do need and deserve things like "the better bed.")

 

Hope you all have a lovely time.

 

beachchick

[whale-watcher]

Agree with the airbed suggestion. They are inexpensive, and would allow the parents to have the more comfortable bed. I personally find sofa beds to be extremely uncomfortable, and with two people they are just impossible.

[CanadianTwosome]

I think the airbed suggestion is an excellent one as well - as long as there's room for it.

 

I'm definitely on board with the parents getting the 'good' bed, and honestly, if there's no room for an airbed, the sleeping bag idea isn't that bad either. These are kids, after all. They can actually sleep on a floor and be well rested and pain free in the morning!!

 

I think whether or not they can or 'should' share is wholly dependent on them. When I was a kid, I shared a bed with my mom for a few years after my father died. As a result, I can share a bed with pretty much anyone and as far as I'm concerned, it's two entirely different sleeping spaces. If they can stand being that close to each other, you can always make a barrier just by having one under the sheet and one over it - if that's what they need to be comfortable. Or, alternatively, bring two sleeping bags and they can sleep beside each other on the pull out - no different than doing the same on a floor. :)

[IBoz]

My suggestion would be a separate inside cabin if there is one available and affordable. If not, then I agree with the sleeping bag idea. But instead of an airbed, which can be a little bulky, check out your local outdoors or camping store. What you want is something commonly called a sleeping pad or sleeping mat. They are about 2 to 3 inches thick when inflated, and provide a good cushion for a sleeping bag. Plus, it keeps you and your bag off the ground or floor.

 

They even make them in a self-inflating version. You unroll it, turn the valve, and it inflates. Pretty compact for travel as well.If you can't find one locally, there are several online sources. NAYY, but we use REI, and their website is www-dot-rei-dot-com.

 

Have a great trip!

 

Ilean

[MrsPete]

I have a same-age step brother, and though we've always had a good relationship, I wouldn't have been comfortable sharing a bed with him.

 

I'd consider taking an air mattress. It could be compressesd and shoved under the bed during the day.

[CanadianTwosome]

I have a same-age step brother, and though we've always had a good relationship, I wouldn't have been comfortable sharing a bed with him.

 

I'd consider taking an air mattress. It could be compressesd and shoved under the bed during the day.

 

This is exactly why I believe it is absolutely dependent on the two individuals involved. I don't have any step-siblings, but over the course of my life, I've slept (which I mean literally) in the same bed with girls, boys, family members, non-family members, family members of friends... and none of it ever bothered me. To me, it's just sleep, and if I'm comfortable doing it in the same room as someone else, it makes no difference to me how close they are.

 

Clearly, MrsPete has a completely different point of view, so with the two of us representing two ends of the spectrum, the two people in question could be anywhere between us. I see this question as very similar to a lot of what is discussed on this board - we can all give our opinions from our own perspectives, but only the parents really know the kids involved, so all they can do is consider the different points of view and do their best to figure out what's going to work for their family. :)

[lovintravelin]

We have the same issues with our DS 17 and DD 11. We will be on the Conquest. Our cabin has a pullman above the couch for DD. Maybe you can find a cabin like this or maybe go with the air mattress. The couch is way to small to share comfortablely. :)

[MrsPete]

We have the same issues with our DS 17 and DD 11. We will be on the Conquest. Our cabin has a pullman above the couch for DD. Maybe you can find a cabin like this or maybe go with the air mattress. The couch is way to small to share comfortablely. :)

My girls shared the couch on our last cruise, and it really was small -- smaller probably than a double bed. They were thrilled just to go on the cruise, and they didn't whine, but if they hadn't been so exhausted at the end of every day, I think it might've been different. For that reason, this time we chose to go with an oceanview because it has TWO pull-down bunks. I did really want the balcony, but sharing the sofa just wasn't going to cut it.

 

We chose to get TWO oceanview rooms: one for DH & I, one for the four teenaged girls.

[Cruising Aussie Mum]

There are a few good suggestions here (airbed, an inside cabin across the hall, seeing if you can get a cabin with 2 pullmans or bunk beds). We also travel with our 2 children (full siblings) and they have always had 2 separate twin beds to sleep in (either bunk beds or 2 separate beds that pulled out of the ceiling) - I guess I thought that was just the norm.

 

In any case, I agree with you about not having teenage step-siblings of the opposite sex sharing a bed. I think that could just be awkward/uncomfortable for a variety of reasons. So, if none of the above are possible, I would go with your original idea of the parents taking the sofa bed (although it doesn't really seem fair).

[sunandseagirl617]

Hi everyone-

 

We just returned from Freedom of the Seas yesterday!

 

We were worried about having one room with our two children (daughter 9 and son 15).

 

Once we arrived in our room we asked for a rollaway bed and it was available!! :D

 

Here is a picture of both the pull out sofa and the rolloway bed. To the parents that said kid's can sleep anywhere practically, you were right! My DD was very happy to have the rollaway while my DS had the pull out. Hubby and I enjoyed our luxe bed;)!!!

 

I pulled the sheets up so you can see the construction of the pull out sofa! Doesn't look comfy for the adults!!:eek:

 

We had a junior suite so it worked out well. On the next cruise we will probably do two connecting rooms!

 

 

 

[Dpeeps]

We have teen age kids and always get them a caban right across the hall from us....we get the balcony and they get an inside cabin...if you are getting the mini suite.....I would check into the price....it probably is not that much different....and believe me....the extra space and extra bathroom are definitely worth it!! :)

[Luv2Cruise525]

My family of 4, with two teens, usually gets a regular room that fits all 4 of us. We've had an oceanview before and it's really not that bad. We would rather save the money and cram into a room and go one another cruise, than spend extra money for a bigger room. We've done this on 4 and 5 day cruises and would certainly do the same thing for cruises that were longer. We're never in the room anyway!

[beachchick]

Hi everyone-

 

We just returned from Freedom of the Seas yesterday!

 

We were worried about having one room with our two children (daughter 9 and son 15).

 

Once we arrived in our room we asked for a rollaway bed and it was available!! :D

 

Here is a picture of both the pull out sofa and the rolloway bed. To the parents that said kid's can sleep anywhere practically, you were right! My DD was very happy to have the rollaway while my DS had the pull out. Hubby and I enjoyed our luxe bed;)!!!

 

I pulled the sheets up so you can see the construction of the pull out sofa! Doesn't look comfy for the adults!!:eek:

 

We had a junior suite so it worked out well. On the next cruise we will probably do two connecting rooms!

 

 

 

 

I believe they're on NCL Pearl. I can tell you from experience that the mini-suites on NCL in general and on the NCL Jewel-class specifically are significantly smaller than the mini-suites on RCI. The mini-suites on Pearl are not a whole lot larger than a D category on RCI.

 

beachchick

[sunandseagirl617]

I believe they're on NCL Pearl. I can tell you from experience that the mini-suites on NCL in general and on the NCL Jewel-class specifically are significantly smaller than the mini-suites on RCI. The mini-suites on Pearl are not a whole lot larger than a D category on RCI.

 

beachchick

OH, I didn't realize she was on NCL, I was thinking she was on Princess! :)

 

Hopefully the OP will come back and let us know how it worked out.

 

We're always looking for the most economical, comfortable way to work out room accomodations!