Invitations to dine with crew members

Does Silversea regularly extend invitations to dine with members of the crew and if so, is it acceptable to turn down the invitation? My experience has been with this on Seabourn and, although you are free to turn down the invitation, and we have many times, we have said yes various times also. Inevitably, after such a dinner, we remind ourselves that we should just say no. While the hosts, ranging from the doctor, to entertainers to the hotel captain to the cruise director, usually do their best to entertain and keep the table happy, my husband and I find that we are usually separated by assigned seating, and have had experiences with table mates we would not care to repeat - such as being seated next to someone who insists on talking politics, diametrically opposed to mine, who won't stop despite my numerous attempts to try and get him to agree to disagree. I prefer to choose my dinner companions myself. Since I will be sailing on the Cloud in less than a month, and the Cloud is such a small ship, I imagine that if it is the custom on Silversea to extend such invitations, we will likely receive one and I want to know that, if I choose, can follow my instincts and politely decline.

No probs at all. Enjoy your cruise.

Jeff

Yup as Jeff notes u can decline. We try to find the most junior officer or international host and invite them to dinner with us--thus, we control the invitations per our schedule.

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

If you get an invitation from CD Colin Brown accept it as Colin is fantastic company and in my humble opinion the best CD. We dined with the guest relations manager on the Cloud in February at La Terazza and there were five of us and we had a lovely evening with good conversation and no politics.

As previous Silversea and current Seabourn cruisers, I can say that you would not get as many invitations to dine on Silversea. Having done many of these, we now, I am afraid, tell reception soon after boarding 'no invitations please', although you can refuse any - when some other soul will be phoned up at 6 p.m. for a late invitation!

We did not mind being separated at table; I actually think this is a good idea, but occasional unfortunate meetings, plus taking so long over dinner, especially when some turn up late, has put us off hosted tables.

We did dine once with an Italian Oficer of Silversea, and he really did not speak good English, which made for a rather stilted evening. My advice is as above, wait for the invites, and accept or refuse as you choose.

We are onboard the Wind now and do exactly as above accept or decline, tonight is Venetian Night and we were invited but elected to decline.

Interestingly first time in over 250 days to my memory when the dress code tonight is informal, but it's only a twelve day cruise so that is likely the reason.

Thanks for the input. It sounds like I am free to decline, as was my past experience with Seabourn. I will not be insulted if I am not invited, but will feel free to decline, if I am invited and am so inclined.

Thanks for the input. It sounds like I am free to decline, as was my past experience with Seabourn. I will not be insulted if I am not invited, but will feel free to decline, if I am invited and am so inclined.

Some people feel that the hosted tables can feel a touch less relaxed so it is "horses for courses"

Whatever you do, just control any semblance of humour in the way you decline. My "humour" sometimes is misunderstood and on one night when we were invited to dine with the captain, we'd already made arrangements to eat in the suite with some friends, and I said jokingly "no thanks, I try not eat with the staff ....." which the moment I said it I knew it was the wrong thing and the Croatian passing the message clearly didn't get the attempted joke.

Normally you'll just get a note and they are quite use to people not wanting to, so feel no discomfort at all.

Enjoy your cruise,

Jeff

Does Silversea regularly extend invitations to dine with members of the crew and if so, is it acceptable to turn down the invitation? My experience has been with this on Seabourn and, although you are free to turn down the invitation, and we have many times, we have said yes various times also. Inevitably, after such a dinner, we remind ourselves that we should just say no. While the hosts, ranging from the doctor, to entertainers to the hotel captain to the cruise director, usually do their best to entertain and keep the table happy, my husband and I find that we are usually separated by assigned seating, and have had experiences with table mates we would not care to repeat - such as being seated next to someone who insists on talking politics, diametrically opposed to mine, who won't stop despite my numerous attempts to try and get him to agree to disagree. I prefer to choose my dinner companions myself. Since I will be sailing on the Cloud in less than a month, and the Cloud is such a small ship, I imagine that if it is the custom on Silversea to extend such invitations, we will likely receive one and I want to know that, if I choose, can follow my instincts and politely decline.

We decline for the same reasons. Especially if it is a very large table & I can't hear what's going on anyway. Plus I get tired of sitting there til the end.

We decline for the same reasons. Especially if it is a very large table & I can't hear what's going on anyway. Plus I get tired of sitting there til the end.

This is a stupid tradition; how does both parties of a couple feel comfortable having dinner with strangers. Maybe one would feel OK, the one that is used to business luncheons. We only excepted two of them: one because the Captain needed a translator and the other was the Hotel Manager did a nice favor for my wife. Both times we had them in our cabin, spending some time prior to them asking us to dinner. This tradition should be reserved for the solo passengers. I would think they would appreciate the gesture...

We have to be carful, because the staff occasionally makes up excuses when we decline. Sometimes officers will ask us the next day if we feel better from being sick the night before. And of course we were fine and now have to create a white lie to cover for the reception staff that did not want to make the Captain feel bad.

. This tradition should be reserved for the solo passengers. I would think they would appreciate the gesture...

 

.

You may be surprised to learn that most solo pax are perfectly self sufficient and don't need to have this 'tradition reserved' for them. We can manage our own dining arrangements, thank you.

That said, I heartily concur with the poster who said always accept an invitation from Colin!!

I don't know how Silversea manages hosted tables, but on Seabourn they mix up couples and singles every time, which works well, if you do enjoy hosted tables.

Also, I believe that unless you happen to know the host fairly well, the host has no idea who will be sitting at their table, and would not be in the least bit offended if you were to refuse!

The worst thing is when people turn up very late, or even not at all, without declining in advance, so you are all sitting waiting for what seems like ages before the host decides it is time to order. We had one memorable evening when two couples arrived about 25 minutes late, and then some of them ordered caviar for a starter, which takes longer to arrive than the regular starters. I was, like Queen Victoria, not amused.

My wife and I rarely accept the invitations however we did have one interesting experience on our first ever Silversea cruise a few years back.

We – an English couple, joined up with an Aussie couple and a Scottish couple.

We spent a fair amount of time together dining and drinking … and drinking …

Early one evening we were all together at the Pool Deck bar when Captain Arma, accompanied by the Hotel Director, wandered up for a chat. Uninhibited as a result of our alcohol consumption we poked a bit of fun at the Captain, who appeared to take it all in good spirit.

Later on we were contacted by reception to ask if the six of us would like to join him for dinner the following evening, which we did and had an OK time.

When asked later the Hotel Director confirmed that our invitation was generated by the ‘fun’ session with the Captain at the Pool Deck bar, as he thought we were ‘good for a laugh’. We were therefore invited ‘en masse’.

So – the ‘chosen ones’ are not always the most obvious, and sometimes includes newbies like us, though we did get other guests enquiring afterwards as to our Venetian status, Suite category etc etc !:rolleyes:

Since then we haven’t accepted any other invitations as we feel the atmosphere is rarely relaxed. Some people however do seem to love these hosted tables – you pays your money and makes your choice I guess – no problem at all.

If you are sociable and like meeting fellow guests it can be fun. It may depend on the table host, and there is always a chance you may meet the 'ship bore', or even very occasionally someone who is rather rude.

Unlike the earlier poster I do not see what is wrong with the tradition, give it a go and you may be pleasantly surprised.

If invited and you are not inclined to accept, then do turn down early and allow someone else a chance.

We once sat with the CD and another couple waiting for two further guests to arrive for 20 minutes only to find they had changed their mind at the last minute and decamped to La Terraza without informing anyone. Sweet.

If you are sociable and like meeting fellow guests it can be fun. It may depend on the table host, and there is always a chance you may meet the 'ship bore'

I agree with Mr Silver.

I travel solo and like meeting new fellow guests. I've had some very pleasant hosted dinners and one very very dull dinner but that was the fault of the crew member not the guests.

I think it's a nice tradition.

Cheers

Jennifer

Whatever you do, just control any semblance of humour in the way you decline. My "humour" sometimes is misunderstood and on one night when we were invited to dine with the captain, we'd already made arrangements to eat in the suite with some friends, and I said jokingly "no thanks, I try not eat with the staff ....." which the moment I said it I knew it was the wrong thing and the Croatian passing the message clearly didn't get the attempted joke. Jeff

I do not dine with my chauffeur at home, why would I do it here?

I do not dine with my chauffeur at home, why would I do it here?

I have never really understood why so many seem to have this sort of hero worship and pseudo status thing and seem to feel all puffed up about eating with the captain or HD or whatever.

When I'm in London on a bus or in a taxi I don't expect to share my sandwiches with the driver.

On a plane I don't want the pilot to sit in my buddy seat.

I don't expect to share my crisps with my cleaner.

They are staff and below stairs/decks and if they want to eat "upstairs" they should be reminded of "their place". They shouldn't be begging the customers to join them. They should wait patiently in their cabins until a customer invites them. Should a customer spending thousands of dollars on a cruise have to ask if it is alright not to eat with the staff!!! Being made to feel guilty about turning down "an invitation from the staff" for a place at the dinner table! Whatever next?! What an imposition!

Bleedin' revolting peasants. ;):D

Jeff

First, SS divides its personnel onboard into three broad categories, Officers, Staff and crew.

Officers can eat in any of the dining venues where payment is not required at any time without permission. Staff excluding the two International Hostesses, can only dine in the MDR by invitation from passengers. Staff also require permission from the HD, before they can accept passengers invitations to dine in La Terrazza and the Pool Grill, and this permission is not always forthcoming, according to the International Hostesses.

Crew never dine with passengers.

The dilemma over whether or not to accept is just as fraught as deciding to join a "sharing" table, or dining alone. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't; some officers are adept as hosts, others are not. We well remember joining another couple for dinner with the Spa Manager. The latter, whilst decorative, contributed nothin else to the evening.

It is possible to enquire when responding to an invitation, with whom one will be dining or the size of the table. Reception staff have a list of names for each table, though it is more than likely that you will not know them.

SS do not as a matter of course, separate couples. Gennaro Arma always makes the final decision, as to whom he would like at his table, and is excellent company.

One aspect of etiquette that ladies will experience at a male officer's table, is that the host will rise to meet his guests. Very few men extend this courtesy these days which points to a declining demographic on SS.

It is rude to leave dinner in advance of its natural conclusion, to go and see an evening activity. If one so wishes, then one should decline invitations any later than 7.45 pm, because there is a risk that a greedy gannet might make dinner protracted. We have just disembarked Silver Wind and whilst dining with the Finance Officer and the Spa Manager, one guest worked through 7 courses!

Just want to add my 2 cents...... we enjoy dining with officers. No, it does not give us a big head - we enjoy learning about their education, their lives, stories from cruising many times around the world, how they deal with being away from their families for long periods of time, etc. More often than not, their stories are fascinating (a bit more than many passengers onboard IMHO).

I certainly do not look down on them as being servants or having a lesser position in society than others (this could be because I was born and raised in the U.S.) My London born DH is much more "class conscious" but enjoys dining with officers as well.

In any case, there is nothing wrong with either wanting to dine with officers or preferring not to. It is simply a matter of choice and how comfortable you are in that situation.

It isn't a matter of looking down on them ..... as you know ..... that was tongue in cheek! Good old fashioned British humour! ;) :D

What was the serious question I genuinely don't understand is why so many seem to look up to them as though somehow eating with crew, and in particular the captain is an honour. :)

Jeff

Getting to know the ship's officers is part of the cruise experience IMHO. That goes for getting to know as many of our fellow pax as well. We always host at least 1 party in our suite per cruise and invite all of the ship's officers. Usually have @ 50 total there and we find that it's a good ice breaker for the social environment during the cruise. Never have had a bad experience dining with the ship's officers and fellow pax. You'd be surprised how much fun you can have if you socialize and mingle. But I guess that's just my Navy background coming out.

While we haven't gone to the extent of hosting a party like Dougburns we have been invited to and have had dinner with several officers and senior staff from the captain to the ship's accountant/office manager. We've enjoyed them all and have gotten to know a few very well. The generally friendly and accessible officers and senior staff is one of the aspects of Silversea we really like.

Here are a couple of pictures showing the enjoyment of dining with the Spirit Hotel Director as well as enjoying the company of fellow cruise critics bsrkent, EnglishUSA, and dougburns:

And here are a couple of pictures of Dougburns party--first pix is of the Butlers well prepared to serve guests as they arrive for the party.

Second picture is of Wellseasoned, Spinnaker2 and dougburns on the exceptionally large sweeping veranda of Doug & Lynn's Grand suite:

Wes, it's lovely that you eat with the staff, but what did you do to offend the rest of the people on your cruise. The rest of the restaurant is empty! :eek:

:D

Jeff

We have been invited to dine with various officers many times. Most times we accept, sometimes we decline, usually if we had previous plans. We have become good friends with some officers on Regent and Silversea, and it never hurts to have friends in high places. And I actually enjoy their company most times.

We have had a few awkward dinners, one with a chief engineer who barely spoke English or Spanish, which are the only two languages I can carry on a real conversation in. And we didn't know the other couple at all, so it was weird with George and I trying to maintain conversation for the table.

But we have a friend on regent who invited us to dinner many years ago, when he really didn't speak English well. But he is nice, and we had a good time, even if he didn't understand what we were saying. And we have eaten with him many times since, and now are good friends. And his English has dramatically improved over the years.