Inviting another solo friend along

Hi, I think I got myself into some difficulty here. So here goes.

I have invited a friend of mine; not a close friend but someone I had met on a cruise to come with me on another cruise. I told her that I had gotten the room and she said yes. Now here comes the tricky part. I only put a deposit down and she added her name to the booking number. Now this time around I didn't pay for the whole thing and told her that. She told me that she would give me a couple of dollars towards the cruise and I'm thinking that she thinks I am picking up her tab as well. But they split us up on the bill so she has her portion to pay. Needless to say she hasn't even but a deposit down yet. Im getting worried because as a friend she keeps saying she'll pay me and I told her to give me at least half. How could she do this when I'm paying solo amount. She just told me by email that Carnival was giving her $100 less and she said that Carnival will get in touch with me. I'm seriously concern that I will not be getting much at all from her as this happened last time. But I let her slide on that one and even though she said she was going to send me checks in the mail from that cruise; I never got a think.

How can people take advantage. I'm thinking of getting out of it and cancelling it. She will be making out better because she will be coming to all the parties and getting free drinks as well. I don't want to have the money issue on my heade. What do I do? Would you cancel?

Hi, I think I got myself into some difficulty here. So here goes.

I have invited a friend of mine; not a close friend but someone I had met on a cruise to come with me on another cruise. I told her that I had gotten the room and she said yes. Now here comes the tricky part. I only put a deposit down and she added her name to the booking number. Now this time around I didn't pay for the whole thing and told her that. She told me that she would give me a couple of dollars towards the cruise and I'm thinking that she thinks I am picking up her tab as well. But they split us up on the bill so she has her portion to pay. Needless to say she hasn't even but a deposit down yet. Im getting worried because as a friend she keeps saying she'll pay me and I told her to give me at least half. How could she do this when I'm paying solo amount. She just told me by email that Carnival was giving her $100 less and she said that Carnival will get in touch with me. I'm seriously concern that I will not be getting much at all from her as this happened last time. But I let her slide on that one and even though she said she was going to send me checks in the mail from that cruise; I never got a think.

 

How can people take advantage. I'm thinking of getting out of it and cancelling it. She will be making out better because she will be coming to all the parties and getting free drinks as well. I don't want to have the money issue on my heade. What do I do? Would you cancel?

Hi Mary, I am not sure I understand the whole thing....you asked a friend

to go a on a cruise with you, correct? She thinks you are paying for both

of you?:eek:.....This has happened with the person before?:confused:

I would tell her she needs to pay her portion. If you think you are going

to end up paying for both of you? And you don't want to...( I don't blame

you) Yes, cancel and get whatever deposit back you have put down and

start over. Doesn't sound like this person is your friend at all.......

Hi Mary, I am not sure I understand the whole thing....you asked a friend

to go a on a cruise with you, correct? She thinks you are paying for both

of you?:eek:.....This has happened with the person before?:confused:

I would tell her she needs to pay her portion. If you think you are going

to end up paying for both of you? And you don't want to...( I don't blame

you) Yes, cancel and get whatever deposit back you have put down and

start over. Doesn't sound like this person is your friend at all.......

Yes Lois, that's right. Last year was different because I had already paid up the expenses for the cruise. So I thought she would give me a little something anyway. She kept telling me on the cruise that she was going to mail me the checks when she got home but I let it go because I think she didn't have that money anyway. So when I did this year I told her we could split it but she hasn't paid anything as of yet. So I'm thinking I will call her and tell her that I'm getting my deposit back because I have things coming up I need to take care. Or should I go ahead and do it and then tell her? I hate to say this but I think she is trying to get around it for a cheap cruise. I don't think I will do this again. How can you do that to a person?

Yes Lois, that's right. Last year was different because I had already paid up the expenses for the cruise. So I thought she would give me a little something anyway. She kept telling me on the cruise that she was going to mail me the checks when she got home but I let it go because I think she didn't have that money anyway. So when I did this year I told her we could split it but she hasn't paid anything as of yet. So I'm thinking I will call her and tell her that I'm getting my deposit back because I have things coming up I need to take care. Or should I go ahead and do it and then tell her? I hate to say this but I think she is trying to get around it for a cheap cruise. I don't think I will do this again. How can you do that to a person?

Hi Mary, I am surprised you did it a 2nd time.....I still don't get it though.

She plans on going with you?...staying in your cabin? and not paying

her portion? :confused:

She does not sound like a friend to me. I can't tell you what to do but

I certainly wouldn't be paying for someone else...why do you hate to

say it? She sounds like an irresponsible person who is a cheapskate to

me:rolleyes:

Get out of this as fast as you can!!! Your "friend" got away with not paying last time. What makes you think she will pay this time?? This person is NOT your friend. Cancel and rebook a different cruise. Sail solo!! And happily!!!

Agree with Lois and emmak8! This person is definitely not acting like a friend. She's intentionally taking advantage of you, or simply being very selfish and rude. I would cancel or look into moving my deposit.

i understand how this happens. i do a lot of traveling with friends and any time I've already completely planned a trip and they just decide to come along, even tho i don't exactly ask them to - they don't think about paying. some do some don't. especially if I've earned it on points. i have one friend that totally gets it at least. its always super awkward. unfortunately now i just pretend i don't hear people when they mention joining and i say "yeah i bet you can find a great hotel!" etc and play dumb. eventually they sorta get the point.

it sucks to feel taken advantage of and is weird speaking up - i would also never dream of doing this to someone, so i can't relate.

i guess the point of my story is, sucks sorry :( good luck >3

You will feel so much better once you are out of this predicament!

Oh heck naw that would not fly with me! Please cancel and rebook for just you and you alone. She is taking full advantage of you and that is not nice at all. I've had this happen enough times in life to see the tell tale signs. If she was a real friend, she would tell you that she can't afford it, which would allow you to make the decision if you want to cover for her or not.

This is the PRIMARY reason why I prefer to travel solo. I don't have to worry about anyone else.

Agree with all - do not allow yourself to be scammed by toxic people.

Either say straight up "this is the price and you have to pay it in full by this date or you are not going" - or cancel the booking and rebook just yourself.

There are too many people out there who use friendship to get a really good ride in life. Once I learned to identify them my own life became a lot free-er and enjoyable.

Don't let her take advantage of you a second time. Cancel and rebook and tell her what you did and why. The older I've become the less bs I can tolerate. I speak up now and have gotten rid of a lot of toxic people because of it.

Some of us are too trusting. I've been taken advantage of in the past, but I have learned the lesson.

Your best course of action is to cancel and rebook. Unless you can get her name taken off of the booking?

I have travelled with other solos that I've met on board, but we all have our own cabins.

Do you enjoy travelling with her? If not, then cut the cord now.

If you do, however, then perhaps there is some justification to trying to salvage the arrangement. Can you afford to take the same room without her financial input? You said <<But they split us up on the bill so she has her portion to pay>>. Does that mean that Carnival has generated an invoice to her? If so to both answers, then perhaps a deadline and proof of her paying her portion to Carnival will give you the out. Before proceeding, however, check with Carnival whether you can have her name removed from the room if she doesn't pay her invoice on time. Then you still have the room and trip, and she has no rights to board the ship. You will have provided the framework of travelling together which includes a deadline and tried to be a cooperative friend, but drawn the line at being taken advantage of.

This should all be done in writing, by the way. Verbal is fine, but even an email can be retrieved and referenced whereas a conversation cannot.

Do you enjoy travelling with her? If not, then cut the cord now.

If you do, however, then perhaps there is some justification to trying to salvage the arrangement. Can you afford to take the same room without her financial input? You said <<But they split us up on the bill so she has her portion to pay>>. Does that mean that Carnival has generated an invoice to her? If so to both answers, then perhaps a deadline and proof of her paying her portion to Carnival will give you the out. Before proceeding, however, check with Carnival whether you can have her name removed from the room if she doesn't pay her invoice on time. Then you still have the room and trip, and she has no rights to board the ship. You will have provided the framework of travelling together which includes a deadline and tried to be a cooperative friend, but drawn the line at being taken advantage of.

This should all be done in writing, by the way. Verbal is fine, but even an email can be retrieved and referenced whereas a conversation cannot.

mef_57, thank you so much for your input. What you said makes sense and I was almost going to pay up my portion and hold out. But knowing how she operates she will still try and work around me to pay and not give me a thing. Even though she has told me she will give me some money towards the cruise this time. (ha) I already caught her in a fib regarding Carnival. She told me by email that she got minus $100 from Carnival and Carnival was going to email. I told her I received no email and I even spoke with Carnival who told me that nothing was exchanged. Soo what's she trying to do. So I,m cancelling it out right. And then I'm emailing her telling her I need my money for expenses...... I'm ready to cut the ties and going back to solo cruising. Also no penalty to cancelling ENOUGH ALREADY. What do you think?

Just a note to say thank you all for your sound advice. I really appreciate these boards. I will follow up with you guys shortly. :):confused:

mef_57, thank you so much for your input. What you said makes sense and I was almost going to pay up my portion and hold out. But knowing how she operates she will still try and work around me to pay and not give me a thing. Even though she has told me she will give me some money towards the cruise this time. (ha) I already caught her in a fib regarding Carnival. She told me by email that she got minus $100 from Carnival and Carnival was going to email. I told her I received no email and I even spoke with Carnival who told me that nothing was exchanged. Soo what's she trying to do. So I,m cancelling it out right. And then I'm emailing her telling her I need my money for expenses...... I'm ready to cut the ties and going back to solo cruising. Also no penalty to cancelling ENOUGH ALREADY. What do you think?

Hi Mary. Sounds like you have a plan in place. If you have caught her in fibs already, then that is just further manipulation on her part. It sounds like hers is not a friendship to pursue. Cut the cord and change your plans. Again, I would suggest to do it in writing. It gives you definite recall, and also adds a personal buffer to avoid any verbal manipulation on her part.

I am pretty new to these boards myself, but I think you will find a good amount of support that to cancel and cut her loose is a good plan. You have my support for starters.:)

Mary, let us know.....the cancellation and everything. It really does sound

as if she is NOT your friend.

You have made the right decision to cut the ties now.

Carry on cruising solo, and you will in all likelihood meet new friends. I have cruised with friends that I met on Adventure a couple of years ago, and we are meeting up in the summer.

This reminds me of a situation I had a while back when a friend called me up and said hey I have an extra ticket to the game tomorrow, wanna go? Of course I was like yeah! He said great the ticket is 125 bucks and the awkward moment set in. Ahhhh.... From my perspective I though he was inviting me to join him as his guest because he had an "extra" ticket whereas he saw it as selling a seat. I would have surely offered to buy a couple of round of beers or food as thanks for bringing me but paying that much to see a football game is not in my budget so I declined..

The round about point is if you invited her to come with, I could see where it is seen as a free trip in her mind. Then to be nice she offered to throw in a "couple of dollars". You need to make it clear up front that she needs to pay her half. Give her an actual amount "The trip will cost us each X amount by this date" With that said I get the feeling she is trying to work you over for a free trip by avoiding putting cash down trying to get you to foot the bill all the while offering to put something in but not intending to :(. It is really sad when people take advantage of others. I think you did the right thing by just canceling the trip and getting out of that situation.

Mary, let us know.....the cancellation and everything. It really does sound

as if she is NOT your friend.

Hi Lois, well I finally cancelled the cruise and emailed my friend and told her that I cancelled the cruise. This was two days ago and haven't heard anything from her yet. I hope she got the message. Thanks again for your advice. Mary49

Hi Lois, well I finally cancelled the cruise and emailed my friend and told her that I cancelled the cruise. This was two days ago and haven't heard anything from her yet. I hope she got the message. Thanks again for your advice. Mary49

Hi Mary:)...you emailed her......that is all you need to do....it is up to her

to check her mail.

I am glad you cancelled and whatever you book next? Hope you have

a great time:)

Hi Mary:)...you emailed her......that is all you need to do....it is up to her

to check her mail.

I am glad you cancelled and whatever you book next? Hope you have

a great time:)

Just to you an update. Still no word from her. I would think that she would at least call me at least. Wouldn't you? Or is it me. I know that I didn't want to cancel over the phone with her so I emailed her twice to make sure that she got it. That is it and I'm soo glad I just pulled and canceled......... Not at all guilty. I probably wouldn't have even seen a dollar.... (lol) Let this be a lesson to me. SOLO only.

Just to you an update. Still no word from her. I would think that she would at least call me at least. Wouldn't you? Or is it me. I know that I didn't want to cancel over the phone with her so I emailed her twice to make sure that she got it. That is it and I'm soo glad I just pulled and canceled......... Not at all guilty. I probably wouldn't have even seen a dollar.... (lol) Let this be a lesson to me. SOLO only.

She sounds like a piece of work.......she didn't want to pay her part and

now she isn't replying to you on the cancellation.......

Don't worry about it anymore.

She sounds like a piece of work.......she didn't want to pay her part and

now she isn't replying to you on the cancellation.......

 

Don't worry about it anymore.

Well it has been since May 5th that I sent her the email and guess what? When I got home yesterday she had called on May 15th. WOW. Now should I be nice and return her call or send another email. I just don't know what else to say. I can't believe she waited this long to finally decide to call. I value your advice. Thank you Mary Ann

Well it has been since May 5th that I sent her the email and guess what? When I got home yesterday she had called on May 15th. WOW. Now should I be nice and return her call or send another email. I just don't know what else to say. I can't believe she waited this long to finally decide to call. I value your advice. Thank you Mary Ann

I wouldn't even bother contacting her back after how she treated you.