limiting 19 yr. old spending on ship

[Jeanne55555]

I would appreciate it if someone experienced cruiser could give me a little advice. I am going on my first cruise on 5/2/10 with my husband, sons, ages 19 and 24 and my older sons girlfriend. I am concerned because my 19 year old loves to spend money (especially ours). Even though I know that he is not allowed to gamble legally, he goes to Atlantic City with his friends (and gets in) I'm sure that he will find a way to gamble on the ship. How can I limit his spending on the casino. Can I give him some cash to use in casino and for stores on ship or is only the Seapass or credit card used? Please help! Thank you!!!

[reallyitsmema]

Your son will be allowed to gamble on your cruise. You need to be 18 to gamble, 21 on Alaska itineraries. You can put a cash limit on his seapass so that when he reaches that balance he will be done. If you really don't trust him, you can put no charging privileges on his seapass at all.

 

When we cruise with our son, also 19, we tell him what we are willing to cover and what is his expense. If he goes over the agreed upon amount, he has to pay for it with his own money. Has worked so far for us.

[luddite]

Tell him what you're gonna pay for. Explain that anything over and above are gonna be HIS bills.

[Essiesmom]

He is 19. Does he have a job? Work at McDonald's? Tell him he has a limit,and when he gets there, everything else is from his own money that he brings along. On many ships, you can track your daily spending through the cabin TV. Time he learned the value of money. EM

[celle]

I would appreciate it if someone experienced cruiser could give me a little advice. I am going on my first cruise on 5/2/10 with my husband, sons, ages 19 and 24 and my older sons girlfriend. I am concerned because my 19 year old loves to spend money (especially ours). Even though I know that he is not allowed to gamble legally, he goes to Atlantic City with his friends (and gets in) I'm sure that he will find a way to gamble on the ship. How can I limit his spending on the casino. Can I give him some cash to use in casino and for stores on ship or is only the Seapass or credit card used? Please help! Thank you!!!

 

IMHO you are already being generous in paying for your sons to cruise. Any of you sons' leisure expenses should be paid for by them. That has always been the policy we use - we pay travel expenses and the kids have to save up for any discretionary spending.

 

You should be concerned at your 19-year old spending your money. Time for him to grow up and start being responsible.

[pg.]

I would appreciate it if someone experienced cruiser could give me a little advice. I am going on my first cruise on 5/2/10 with my husband, sons, ages 19 and 24 and my older sons girlfriend. I am concerned because my 19 year old loves to spend money (especially ours). Even though I know that he is not allowed to gamble legally, he goes to Atlantic City with his friends (and gets in) I'm sure that he will find a way to gamble on the ship. How can I limit his spending on the casino. Can I give him some cash to use in casino and for stores on ship or is only the Seapass or credit card used? Please help! Thank you!!!

 

No one can take advantage of you without your permission.This is a saying,, not mine,, but a good one. Kids can suck the life out of you if you let them.

 

I do not give my 19 yr old son money( why would anyone?),, he is expected to work for extras. I would quite simply put a limit on his sail and sign card,, allow him to get a few ice creams( which I already think is pretty nice) but other then that what does he need money for,, its not like he can drink on the ship . He can get a job and pay for extras like gambling, cold day in h*ll when I would give ANYONE money for that,, and its not because I am against gambling, I just can't imagine wasting MY money on that. ,, BUT, he is free to waste his own.

[klfrodo]

What I did for my kids/young adults

 

Parent says "want to go on a cruise with us?" Kid says " That would be great." Parent says "We'll pay for the cruise, you're responsible for your own expenses on and off the ship."

Kid opens up own account with cash or credit card or stays home. Too easy

[celle]

I would appreciate it if someone experienced cruiser could give me a little advice. I am going on my first cruise on 5/2/10 with my husband, sons, ages 19 and 24 and my older sons girlfriend. I am concerned because my 19 year old loves to spend money (especially ours). Even though I know that he is not allowed to gamble legally, he goes to Atlantic City with his friends (and gets in) I'm sure that he will find a way to gamble on the ship. How can I limit his spending on the casino. Can I give him some cash to use in casino and for stores on ship or is only the Seapass or credit card used? Please help! Thank you!!!

 

You son, 19, only spends your money because you allow him to. The remedy is in your own hands. Make him set up a cash account for his on-board spending, and pay for it himself.

 

If he can afford to go gambling to Atlantic City with his friends, he can afford to save up for his own spending money on the cruise.

 

Or does he spend your money when he goes to Atlantic City? If so, he is already playing you for a sucker. Are you seriously contemplating giving him money to gamble with? :eek: And you seem to condone his underage gambling, too. What are you teaching him?

 

It's time to put the brakes on this spendthrift.

[bplazo]

At nineteen he should have financial responsibility and know that anything he charges is his own bill. If he cannot be trusted do not give him charge abilities on your account.

[Liz54]

These boards are filled with perfect parents who have perfect children. OP asked a question and within a couple of posts the tone has turned judgemental.

 

My imperfect kid was 18. We asked for no ability to charge on the seapass. RCI goofed. Son drank freely. Ended up on our bill. Be VERY cautious. Double and triple check!!!

 

Good luck and have a great cruise!

[yogi2929]

His account can be set up with cash. If the cruiseline charges tips they will be put on his account if they were not paid for in advance.

 

Once the cash gets down to a certain limit he will not be able to use his card for anymore purchases.

 

On most ships the legal gambling age is 18 and the legal drinking age is 21. If he is caught drinking alcohol the cruiseline retains the right to kick him and whoever bought the alcohol off the ship.

 

(Not trying to preach just letting you know the facts beforehand)

 

Good luck.

 

ETA--To cash out the slots in the casino he'll need to set up an account on his Card. It is a separate account from his shipboard account. The Host will help him with that.

[room010]

If you know he's going to blow your dough gambling why not just give the cruise company $500 (or whatever) and be done with it.

[bar_20]

In the USA you are an adult when you turn 18. As a parent you are no longer responsible for their debts. Does he have a VISA or MC card? Does he have an ATM card? The casino is the only place on the ship that will take cash. If he has a bank account he can get an ATM card now. Tell him to get one before the cruise because you are not putting him on your account. Everybody gets a card with their picture on it. This card also is used for purchases on the ship. When you check in; your entire family should check in together. At that time is when you tell the cruise line that you and your spouse are the only ones to be put on your account. Your sons and GF have their own accounts. The cruise line may want to put $400-500 from their ATM accounts to secure credit on the ship. Make sure once on the ship you verify that your sons are not on your account. Read the cruise lines requirements for shipboard credit and show it to your sons and make sure that they are aware of them.

[cawagner]

What I did for my kids/young adults

 

Parent says "want to go on a cruise with us?" Kid says " That would be great." Parent says "We'll pay for the cruise, you're responsible for your own expenses on and off the ship."

Kid opens up own account with cash or credit card or stays home. Too easy

 

That is exactly what my 18 and 20 yr old are doing....Staying Home!

 

Me and dh offered to pay for their cruise but "they" had to come up with "their own" spending money (yes they both work) they said NO that we should pay...i laughhed and told them "good luck with that!" LOL (even had the nerves to call us cheap :eek: but that is a whole other story)......so I said you dont want to pay for your spending, then stay home and thats exactly what they are doing :)

 

Now on the other hand our 23 yr old is going with us and he is paying his entire way :D and our 13 yr old is going but we pay for him, of course :)

 

]

[5waldos]

Teenagers are rough. Set a limit on his S&S, make sure it has been done, and then STICK TO IT. That is the hard part. Have a good time.

[Dr. Jack Daniels]

You son, 19, only spends your money because you allow him to. The remedy is in your own hands. Make him set up a cash account for his on-board spending, and pay for it himself.

 

If he can afford to go gambling to Atlantic City with his friends, he can afford to save up for his own spending money on the cruise.

 

Or does he spend your money when he goes to Atlantic City? If so, he is already playing you for a sucker. Are you seriously contemplating giving him money to gamble with? :eek: And you seem to condone his underage gambling, too. What are you teaching him?

 

It's time to put the brakes on this spendthrift.

 

Wow! Two harsh responses to the OP. This must be a real hot button issue for you.

[luddite]

These boards are filled with perfect parents who have perfect children. OP asked a question and within a couple of posts the tone has turned judgemental.

 

My imperfect kid was 18. We asked for no ability to charge on the seapass. RCI goofed. Son drank freely. Ended up on our bill. Be VERY cautious. Double and triple check!!!

 

Good luck and have a great cruise!

 

Judgemental? Hardly. OP has gotten good advice.

Judgemental would be telling the op that all of this advice shouldn't have needed to be given.

[FireMonkey]

Nothing on board will accept cash except for the casino. All of the shops charge to your S&S account which you will have set up previously either with cash or linked to a CC.

 

My opinion would be that if you are planning to pay for his onboard spending then put a cash limit on his card (do not use a CC, can't set a limit - from what I know at least). You say he's 19 so he wont be able to run up a bar bill. And a 19 y/o male I dont think would be interested in purchasing photos and those are the 2 things that can get expensive. I'd say talk to him, tell him this is what we are going to give you. Once it's gone its gone. If it's a cash limit you wont have any surprises on your bill at the end of the cruise. Good luck and have a great trip!

[kitty9]

OP, here's what you do. When you arrive at the cruise terminal for check in, have your son fill out his own form that establishes his sign and sail card. Do NOT put his name on your account because if you do that, he'll charge everything on your card. If you are treating him with cash for his spending, put ONLY a certain amount into his SS account, and tell him that's it....no more money from you. If he spends it all, too bad. If he wants to use all that money for the casino, so be it. Also, make sure he knows he will not be allowed to drink alcohol on board since he has to be 21 for that, and his sign and sail card will reflect that he's underage. Back to the spending issue, if your son spends all the initial money, then he either stops spending or he has to replenish the account with his OWN money. It's not all that difficult to accomplish.

[celle]

Wow! Two harsh responses to the OP. This must be a real hot button issue for you.

 

Maybe. :)

 

I know a 16-year old who is working like an adult and helping to pay for his widowed mother's accommodation. He is a responsible adult in everything except years.

 

I also know a 23-year old who has been indulged by his parents, who pay all his living expenses and even pay for fuel for his car. He takes no responsibility for any of his actions, and still acts as like a spoiled child who thinks the world owes him a living.

 

I know which young man I have more respect for.

[kitty9]

Maybe. :)

 

I know a 16-year old who is working like an adult and helping to pay for his widowed mother's accommodation. He is a responsible adult in everything except years.

 

I also know a 23-year old who has been indulged by his parents, who pay all his living expenses and even pay for fuel for his car. He takes no responsibility for any of his actions, and still acts as like a spoiled child who thinks the world owes him a living.

 

I know which young man I have more respect for.

 

The 23 year old is a new classification that I just read about---they're called Millennials. These are kids that are age 25 and younger, and have been studied to be the most over-protected, over indulged generation of kids. According to the study, many of these kids feel they deserve everything of the best just because they're alive. These kids have never been allowed to fail at anything, thanks to our school systems and many parents who refuse to allow failure. Teachers are no longer allowed to fail kids in a subject, kids can no longer be held back a grade because it would harm their ego, and teachers in many districts are forbidden from correcting papers in red ink because that signals failure---and these are just a few of the things that are no longer allowed in our society. Heck, some school systems no longer allow certain sports because there are winners and losers, and we all know that you can harm a poor child's psyche if they lose at something. I'm not making this up as I read it in a publication for university instructors. Many of these kids fail in life because they've been pampered so much as kids.

[celle]

The 23 year old is a new classification that I just read about---they're called Millennials. These are kids that are age 25 and younger, and have been studied to be the most over-protected, over indulged generation of kids. According to the study, many of these kids feel they deserve everything of the best just because they're alive. These kids have never been allowed to fail at anything, thanks to our school systems and many parents who refuse to allow failure. Teachers are no longer allowed to fail kids in a subject, kids can no longer be held back a grade because it would harm their ego, and teachers in many districts are forbidden from correcting papers in red ink because that signals failure---and these are just a few of the things that are no longer allowed in our society. Heck, some school systems no longer allow certain sports because there are winners and losers, and we all know that you can harm a poor child's psyche if they lose at something. I'm not making this up as I read it in a publication for university instructors. Many of these kids fail in life because they've been pampered so much as kids.

 

Yes!

 

(Apologies to the OP for getting so far off topic.)

 

This particular 23-year old is exactly like that. He is a nephew, so yes, this is a hot button for me.

 

• When he took drugs, it was "not his fault" because he was disappointed at being given a poor grade in school.
  
• When he wanted money, he stole it from the family safe. His mother tried to prevent him, but his father said, ""I can afford it. Let him have the money."
  
• When he crashed his car, his parents bought him a new one.
  
• Once, his father grounded him and took away his car keys. The following day, his father lent the boy his own car!
  
• He has not yet had any part-time or holiday job, nor worked a single week of his life, but is subsidized into various tertiary courses.
  
• And his 26-year old sister (still living at home) not only expects her parents to pay her air fares, but expects to fly Business Class!
  

[room010]

And we wonder why kids have such a grossly inflated and entirely unjustified sense of entitlement. And I'm sorry but it's often the parents who are the worst enablers because they want to be their kids' Best Friends, not their Parents. Rant over.

[pg.]

Yes!

 

(Apologies to the OP for getting so far off topic.)

 

This particular 23-year old is exactly like that. He is a nephew, so yes, this is a hot button for me.

 

• When he took drugs, it was "not his fault" because he was disappointed at being given a poor grade in school.
  
• When he wanted money, he stole it from the family safe. His mother tried to prevent him, but his father said, ""I can afford it. Let him have the money."
  
• When he crashed his car, his parents bought him a new one.
  
• Once, his father grounded him and took away his car keys. The following day, his father lent the boy his own car!
  
• He has not yet had any part-time or holiday job, nor worked a single week of his life, but is subsidized into various tertiary courses.
  
• And his 26-year old sister (still living at home) not only expects her parents to pay her air fares, but expects to fly Business Class!
  

 

 

 

celle,, those kids sound horrible,, and yes,, in this case we know who is to blame. Kids mess up .. no parent is perfect,, but the day I fly a 26 yr old "kid" any class, let alone business class is the day I traded in my brains.. LOL

[celle]

celle,, those kids sound horrible,, and yes,, in this case we know who is to blame. Kids mess up .. no parent is perfect,, but the day I fly a 26 yr old "kid" any class, let alone business class is the day I traded in my brains.. LOL

 

Hi pg (again!),

 

No, those kids aren't horrible (actually, they are quite pleasant, apart from their sense of entitlement) - but they are "lost". Both of them are depressive and directionless.

 

I just don't understand their father (my DH's brother). At 60, he still works about 80 hours a week, night call-outs too. And, as a medical student, he worked hard every holiday, to earn money towards his tuition fees. He didn't expect his parents to pay for anything. And yet, he's raised two parasites.