Would you leave kids in a stateroom?

[blondi_21]

I never said I was going to do that I asked if it would be safe. There's a big difference in thinking if it would be okay to do so or actually doing it. It doesnt mean that if you been a mother for years that you know everything there is to know bout motherhood. I dont believe in those mothers that are too overprotective of their kids and dont let them do anything. They will still do it if you like it or not. There's no stop to it. Life just happens. My question again, is it safe to leave.... not that Im actually going to do it. So keep your stupid rude comments to yourself. And whoever said that Im a blond is probably a blond themselves.

[karatemom2]

I never said I was going to do that I asked if it would be safe. There's a big difference in thinking if it would be okay to do so or actually doing it. It doesnt mean that if you been a mother for years that you know everything there is to know bout motherhood. I dont believe in those mothers that are too overprotective of their kids and dont let them do anything. They will still do it if you like it or not. There's no stop to it. Life just happens. My question again, is it safe to leave.... not that Im actually going to do it. So keep your stupid rude comments to yourself. And whoever said that Im a blond is probably a blond themselves.

 

OK, No it is not safe.

[kitty9]

No, it's not safe. There's your answer, and here are some reasons why:

 

I say this pointing to the recent events on Splendor. Fire doors close, and you cannot open them. Do you honestly think a child or children under the age of 16 or so would know what to do in a similar situation? How would you get to your baby in an emergency with fire doors closed and locked?

 

It takes just a few minutes for a sexual assault. There are perverts on cruise ships, even among the crew, and they have keys to get into cabins at any time. Think about it........

 

In addition to fire, there are other emergency situations that can, and do, happen on ships and those situations may make it impossible for you to get to your child. Do you honestly think young babysitters can handle emergency situations on a ship? Would they really know how to get to a muster station?

 

Finally, I say this again, it's different to have kids babysitting when at home, but when you're on a cruise, it's totally unfair to those kids to have to take on what should be YOUR responsibility of taking care of your child. You're a mother now, and priorities for being a parent are first and foremost beyond your desire to have fun. Baby is numero uno. The two kids are on vacation, and should be having fun like the rest of the kids on the ship will be doing. It's not their responsibility to monitor your child, it's yours, even if it's for just an hour or whatever.

[askn]

No way..just imagine the worst happening....a fire, choking, an accident anything like that. These children are WAY too young to handle such responsibility. I would not even consider it... not for a second.

[crusinmama06]

My question again, is it safe to leave.... not that Im actually going to do it. So keep your stupid rude comments to yourself. And whoever said that Im a blond is probably a blond themselves.

 

To answer again

--no, it's not safe, never to leave a toddler alone with other young children.

--in the event of an emergency, the fire safe doors lock, you are on the outside of those doors

--too many crew members have keys to your cabin doors

--balconies (oh good God :eek:)

--simple things like kids jumping on the beds -- one kid falls off and gets injured, how on earth would they contact you?

 

And the number ONE reason, I have a 10 year old. When we cruise, this is her vacation. I didn't bring her to watch MY child. She didn't ask to be a babysitter. YOU had the baby....not the 10 year old. :rolleyes: The people I feel the worst for in this whole situation are the children.

 

Be a parent and take responsibility for your own children or leave them at home with someone who will. :(

 

(so happy to be a brunette :p)

[bplazo]

Michele, you are so right. Why should the other children be made to stay in a cabin and watch a toddler. I would have never let my daughter miss any of her vacation time stuck in a cabin with a 16 month old even as a punishment :).

 

I am glad I am a brunette also!

[alj1208]

No, it's not safe to leave your sisters in charge. Below is the text of an article from the Brockton, MA Enterprise about a double drowning this summer. It didn't happen on a cruise ship, but it is a tragic example of why you wouldn't want to leave a 9 or 10-year-old in charge or your baby, even for a short time. True, in the article below, there was a safety issue with the pool. But, I believe a more mature caregiver would know not to leave the girls unattended.

 

As their parents rested inside, a 9-year-old child was watching her 4-year-old sisters the morning the twin girls drowned in the family’s Endicott Street pool, investigators found.

The older child told authorities she was outside at one point, watching the twins play in the backyard, then went into the house to use the computer for a short time Saturday morning.

When the 9-year-old went back out to check on her sisters, she told police she initially didn’t see the girls and looked over to the fenced-in area of the pool where she spotted a sandal floating in the murky water, Brockton Police Capt. Emanuel Gomes said.

The door to the fence was shut and locked at the time, authorities were told.

Now, as the twins’ grief-stricken parents plan their funeral, authorities from three agencies are investigating the circumstances surrounding the deaths and are trying to learn if the 4-year-olds slipped into the pool through a hole in a wood fence.

“It appears to be a tragic, tragic accident,” Gomes said.

Linsay and Lesley Bonsu were pulled from the pool by their father, Gyabaa Bonsu, Saturday morning after his elder daughter rushed into the house. Authorities were summoned about 10:30 a.m.

Linsay died Saturday afternoon at Children’s Hospital in Boston. Her sister died the next day. A spokesman for the Plymouth County district attorney’s office said it appears the girls drowned.

“It is tough when you think of these two children being born together and now dying together,” said Andrew Gardner, pastor at the Wendell Avenue Alliance Church, who has been consoling the parents.

The children’s father declined comment Monday and their grief-stricken mother, Prudentia, was hospitalized Monday. “I can’t talk right now,” Gyabaa Bonsa, the father, said Monday.

Police discovered a hole large enough for a child to crawl through on one side of the wooden fence surrounding the pool area. However, the twins’ sister told police she had never seen the girls try to get to the pool through the hole.

The twins’ mother, Prudentia, had worked until 7 a.m. Saturday and was resting in the other room at the time of the drowning. Neighbors said she is a certified nursing assistant.

Their father, a nurse in Stoughton, had made the girls breakfast earlier and then joined his wife in the other room, police were told.

When the older sister ran inside after seeing the sandal in the pool, the father ran out and jumped in the pool to get the twins while his older daughter called 911 for help.

The pastor said the parents, both from Guyana, are a hard-working couple who came to the United States about a dozen years ago and loved their children deeply.

“They really don’t have any family here,” Gardner said.

He said they initially went to his church, where the members are older, but he urged them to eventually switch to another church attended by younger families so the children could attend Sunday school.

At the time of the drownings, Gomes said it appeared the pool was not being regularly used. “The pool was not well-maintained. ...The water was full of algae and was yellow,” he said.

Gardner said the father had told him he stopped cleaning the pool because no one was using it. How long it had been unused was not clear.

The drowning comes three years after Linsay Bonsu had been pulled from the bottom of the pool by her father on Aug. 9, 2007, at the house. In the earlier case, the child’s father pulled her from the pool and administered CPR.

In that case three years ago, the child’s mother, Prudentia Bonsu, told authorities she was outside with the children and left them unattended for about two minutes. When she returned, Mrs. Bonsu told authorities at the time, she found Linsay at the bottom of the pool.

The state Department of Children and Families launched an investigation into the twins’ deaths after a report was filed with the agency by authorities, a routine step in such cases. Brockton police and state police are also investigating.

[Bound4Bermuda]

I never said I was going to do that I asked if it would be safe. There's a big difference in thinking if it would be okay to do so or actually doing it. It doesnt mean that if you been a mother for years that you know everything there is to know bout motherhood. I dont believe in those mothers that are too overprotective of their kids and dont let them do anything. They will still do it if you like it or not. There's no stop to it. Life just happens. My question again, is it safe to leave.... not that Im actually going to do it. So keep your stupid rude comments to yourself. And whoever said that Im a blond is probably a blond themselves.

 

I agree that some of the responses were way over the top and insulting. However, why would you be asking if you weren't considering doing it? :confused:

[junglejane]

The OP has gotten some good and helpful advice, and hopefully some insight into why it wouldn't be safe or smart to leave the baby with the 9 and 10 year olds. KansasTexan, Kitty9 (Darcie), and Cruisinmama06 (Michelle) gave some really good explanations of why the OP shouldn't do this.

 

But a few of the responses have not only been unhelpful but downright rude. It seems to me that the Family Cruises board should be something of a safe haven for people (especially newbies inexperienced at cruising with babies/toddlers/kids) to come for advice. Parents get bashed enough on the regular boards, so please let's try extra hard next time to hold off on the snide remarks. JMHO.

[In2why]

If it was your own 10y/o perhaps, but since they are your sisters and live far away from you they don't know what is normal or not normal for your baby. I think most older adults were babysitting by age 10, before the world became populated by helicopter parents who see boogie men and distaster behind every corner in the name of good motherhood and the mommy wars. But these days children are not given this type of responsibility and wouldn't know what to do with it, so in that case no.

 

But if you do decide to have them watch your little guy, you should pay them. It should also be after he is asleep. Let them know where you are, and how to contact the pursers desk and have you paged in case of an emergency. I wouldn't leave them with him for long, and make sure it doesn't conflict with something they want to do, like the night of the slumber party.

Yes, something horrible could happen. We could be struck by lightening on a sunny day too. Bad stuff happens, but if they have common sense and are good girl who want to watch him, it isn't the end of the world or makes you a horrible parent if you let them.

 

(for the record, I have 5 children. 3 fabulous adults, and 2 younger boys, ages 11 and 7) I wouldn't leave my 11 and 7 y/o in the cabin by themselves because they still argue with each other and act less mature when they are together. By I don't have any problem leaving the 11 y/o home by himself for a couple of hours every now and then, and I wouldn't have a problem leaving him in the cabin by himself either.

[DukeFamily]

I never said I was going to do that I asked if it would be safe....My question again, is it safe

 

Seems to me you got 50-plus responses telling you NO IT IS NOT SAFE. If you aren't considering doing it, why come back and repeat the question? You've gotten the answer. The answer is NO. (It's NOt safe and it IS irresponsible.)

[blondi_21]

Seems to me you got 50-plus responses telling you NO IT IS NOT SAFE. If you aren't considering doing it, why come back and repeat the question? You've gotten the answer. The answer is NO. (It's NOt safe and it IS irresponsible.)

 

 

I never repeated the question.

[dstewart1075]

How about inviting grandma/grandpa on the cruise and asking if they can babysit for you a night or two? :D

 

Otherwise, I would definately say, please don't leave the toddler with the older kids. Too many things could go wrong and its just not worth it in the end.

 

Good luck and I hope you make the smart choice!

[MardiGras316]

What are the rules for each cruise line about this? Cruiselines are very much into safety.

 

Why not hire the babysitting services a few times?

 

And no, I don't think it is safe.

[mom2two2]

My two kids will be 11 and 8 when we cruise this winter. I would not leave them in the cabin on their own, let alone with a baby.

 

Let's assume that the older ones are great babysitters and very mature, as you say they are. If, God forbid, something WERE to happen while the baby was in their care, they would have their whole entire lives to shoulder that feeling of guilt, which is plain and simple, not at all fair.

 

I am sorry if you feel some people have been rude in the way that they replied to your question. But if that many people are shocked (myself included) that this seems to be an option for you, then maybe, rethink this one.

[pabrett46]

Hello,

 

I have to agree with the other posters. I have a 13 year old and an 8 year old. When my son was 10, I sent him on a babysitting course. In our province there is no age limit for babysitting. The reason being is that there are very mature 10 year olds out there and very immature 14 year olds. It all depends on the child. That being said. I sent him on the course for his own safety on being responsible and NOT because I wanted him to babysit at that age. I wanted to make sure that if he was going to be alone after school for a half hour, I wanted him to know what to do if something happened. Even though at that age he was an extremely mature child.. looking after a toddler wasn't something I'd be comfortable with. It wasn't until he was 13 that I felt comfortable having him watch his sister for a few hours at a time. Even now that he's 13 I wouldn't leave him to care of a little one...especially in strange surroundings.

 

If it were me, I don't think I'd feel comfortable having a 9 and 10 year old watch a toddler while I was out of earshot. I think if you can arrange some other sort of sitting service that would be the best option. Of course this is just my opinion. It has been my experience that hair color has nothing to do with the decisions one makes in life.

 

D

[Maryscooking]

We're going on a family trip with my husband, my 16 month old (time of sail), my sisters (9&10) my parents. My younger sisters are really good with my child. He adorables them and they him. We live states away from them so we dont see them often but he always reminds them but not my mom. lol. Anyways, my question is. Would you leave your 16 month old with the 9 and 10 yr old in a stateroom alone?

 

I don't understand why it is ok for the young girls to watch your baby while you go do something fun.

 

Of course, your sisters and your baby are fond of each other. But it seems they will have plenty of time to spend together on the cruise, without assigning the girls to nanny duty (which they are much too young for and not on vacation to do anyway!).

 

Honestly all of the explanation of how much they like each other seems like an attempt at justifying dumping your child with them so you can have free time. Many other posts have detailed why this is not safe and is a very bad idea.

 

Just use the ship provided babysitting services. If you only want an hour or two at a time, it won't cost much at all, and is infinitely safer and more responsible.

[Carolinagirl82]

I would absolutely NOT leave a toddler in the care of two children. It's not safe and quite frankly, it's not fair to them. Even if they love the toddler and what not, it's not their responsibility to look after him.

 

As for leaving kids in a stateroom...well...we sort of are. Our girls are 7 and 9 and we will have balcony rooms next to each other. They aren't connecting, but we will leave the partition on the balconies open and that is how we would get back and forth. They will know the rules. Hopefully, it will work for us. If not, DH and I will be split up at night.

[wiensie]

Wow Blondi, tough crowd! I know plenty of 10 year olds who are excellent with kids and well on their way to being responsible babysitters. Having younger siblings is definitely a plus as they would be used to what a toddler is capable of. Ultimately you know the kids best and what the girls' limits are.

 

My biggest concern travelling with little ones is always the balcony, so consider the type of cabin you have in your decision. If you put your little one down for a nap and the girls hung out in the cabin watching a movie so you and DH could do a stroll around the promenade seems reasonable. Consider taking walkie-talkies for your family and test them on the boat. When we travel with family we often talk ahead of time about when we can use them to help out, and they are more than happy to allow us a quiet dinner or show. (I'm talking about your parents here.) If all else fails take a good travel stroller that reclines for sleeping so your little guy can go wherever you go. In the end follow your instincts!

[wiensie]

I actually just read all of the posts as I didn't notice initially it went past page one. Wow! Some of the comments really went downhill and were terribly unfair. The way the majority of the people talk I'm surprised anyone takes any of their kids on a cruise with all of the potentially imminent disasters awaiting! I'm assuming everyone against the 9 and 10 year olds even being in a cabin alone (without toddler) have never allowed their kids sign-out privileges in the 9-11 year old category of CC. I'm surprised Carnival allows it if it is so unsafe onboard. Good luck on your Cruise Blondi. We have done several cruises with extended family and little ones and it is so much fun for all.

[bplazo]

I actually just read all of the posts as I didn't notice initially it went past page one. Wow! Some of the comments really went downhill and were terribly unfair. The way the majority of the people talk I'm surprised anyone takes any of their kids on a cruise with all of the potentially imminent disasters awaiting! I'm assuming everyone against the 9 and 10 year olds even being in a cabin alone (without toddler) have never allowed their kids sign-out privileges in the 9-11 year old category of CC. I'm surprised Carnival allows it if it is so unsafe onboard. Good luck on your Cruise Blondi. We have done several cruises with extended family and little ones and it is so much fun for all.

 

No, my daughter did not have sign out privilages at that age and she did not roam the ship without me along. It was a family vacation and that is what we did. If she wanted to go to the camp area I would take her and then pick her up.

 

The other children should not have the responsibility of having to stay in a room and be responsible for the toddler. You give some things up when you become a parent.

[LH25]

I dont see why it is such a big deal? It's not like I would leave them with my sisters for hours. It would be while he's asleep for less then an hour in the stateroom. I dont find this a big deal cus I baby sat my sisters while I was young. Maybe times has changed and everyone is paranoid over every little thing or maybe it isnt safe on a cruise ship. I wouldnt let me go to the pool with him or wonder around the ship thats definally a no no.

 

The difference is that you are on a large, floating and strange city. Full of people you don't know, some of whom have passkeys to your cabin. It's confusing for me to find my way around, what if something goes wrong? What will the girls do to contact you or get help?

 

And what if he does get out somehow - if the girls attention is diverted?

[bevomom]

Blondi, both of my children have been cruising for 7 years. They know their way around the ship, understand muster stations and where they are, they know how to get help, how to ID a crew member, etc. We keep walkie-talkies for communication. My 11 year old does babysit a 4 & 6 year old afterschool and has had first aid and cpr training.

 

I tell you all of that because I would still be reluctant to leave them in the cabin alone for any lengthy period of time. Even if they would be just fine in the stateroom, I still don't feel it would be safe to put them in the care of a baby. They are very responsible, mature kids, but they are still just kids.

 

You DO deserve some time for you and there are ways to have it. You need to enjoy the vacation you've worked so hard for and hopefully steal a little time for you and your hubby. Have you looked in to hiring a baby sitter on board? There are crew members who will come to your cabin, bring some activities, and sit with your child for up to 2 hours. (Other cruise lines policies may vary.) They book during their off time from their regular jobs on the ship, but check with guest services as soon as you get on board for their policy. Good luck with your decision and enjoy your cruise!