Have to cancel son's reservation b/o sports!

[newcatintown]

I have no kids, therefore no dog in this fight, but I can understand why it is required the student show up. How are they to learn to work as a cohesive team if this one is gone these days, those two other days, so on and so forth. You could keep them out of team activities, with too much time on their hands to get into trouble :eek: If this is the only time that you have for family (your vacation) then you have bigger issues. Parenthood comes with sacrafices, and this is just one of them. The ball, pun intended, is in your court.

[CruiserinCarlsbad]

I don't see the problem with cruising at a time that won't affect your child's sports schedule. Did you check with the coach to see if there would be required practices during spring break? You could schedule the cruise anytime. High school sports are so competitive these days. I agree with those who say let your child decide.

[JLC@SD]

I learned when DS was in 7th grade not to book vacations during basketball season, even during the Thanksgiving Holiday. DS was penalized for missing a scrimmage and two practices by not being able to play one game and not starting for two more. He asked me not to schedule a vacation during the the soccer or basketball season anymore. I had no clue when I scheduled that cruise that it would cause problems during a holiday break and I made sure not to do it again until he quit basketball last year.

 

DD is a competitive dancer so I know with her not to book anything from February through June. She makes a commitment to her teams and they depend on her to be there for final practices and competitions.

 

When our kids make commitments to sport teams, those teams depend on our kids to be there for practices so they can learn to work together as a team and to especially be there for games and competitions. As parents, when we allow our kids to join a sports team, we need to help them honor that commitment to the team and if they can't keep that commitment then we need to help them accept the consequences, whether that means being cut by the team or sitting out some games.

 

The choice is yours whether he goes or not, but your son, and his team, need to live with the consequences of your decision.

 

Thank you for pointing out the heart of the issue.......commitment......and with HS sports it is usually a big commitment.

 

So, all you........... who want to tell the coach off.........the coach will probably just tell you that .......if you and your kid do not want to make the full commitment..........they have plenty of other kids that want to make the full commitment and play on a team.

[JLC@SD]

I don't see the problem with cruising at a time that won't affect your child's sports schedule. Did you check with the coach to see if there would be required practices during spring break? You could schedule the cruise anytime. High school sports are so competitive these days. I agree with those who say let your child decide.

 

I would think that spring break is when they get their best and most focused practice sessions.........the kids are out of school.

[jaredsdad]

It seems baseball coaches are the worst sometimes. My way or the highway. Miss something and they will play a worse player over your kid. It must be the culture.

 

I'd tell them basketball was always funner anyway. You are going on your trip and if they penalize the kid for joining his family during spring break there will be hell to pay. I am talking letters to editor, school board, admin, and especially letting younger players and their families know this coach is an real idiot tyrant. My heck. If the kid is good he should keep his spot.

[cathyoo]

My coached at the Little League level and my four children all were involved in some type of team sport.

 

We also stressed to our children that if they choose to play a sport they were choosing to make a commitment to a team. Some of my children were key players in their sport, others not so much but they all made the same commitment. There days that they just did not feel like practice but that was not a choice because they made a commitment.

 

The teams in our area play Spring Break, Summer Break, Christmas Break, etc. In fact those are the times we play a lot of tournaments or travel to other areas. We did not take family vacations during those times. But we had family time. My kids have lots of memories of those games and their whole family cheering for them.

 

I don’t know if we saw the issue differently because of our involvement (I coached cheerleading). We saw first hand how hard it is to practice with missing members. Parents who were given a schedule at the start of the year and still decide to take their child on vacation the week before play-offs.

 

My husband had to forfeit games and take a loss because kids did not show up. How fair is that to the child who did show up?

 

I know it is just MHO but saying my vacation is more important than my team is all part of the “ME” think. I’m entitled, I’m all that matters, the rules should be different for ME.

 

To the OP, I would be very sad. Sad that I was missing my child’s game and sad that he was missing a family vacation but I think I would have made the same decision.

c

[pe4all]

The "athletes" need to have a certain amount of practices by law (at least here on Long Island) before being allowed to play in an official game or scrimmage. (I think it is 12) Those who don't have that amount can't play until they do. In our district, some of the coaches (girls varsity lacrosse, for example) will bench a student for 5 games EVEN IF THEY HAVE THE NECESSARY PRACTICES UNDER THEIR BELT if they miss spring break practices. DD19 unfortunately had this problem when she played lacrosse with that coach. She made Varsity as a 9th grader, but decided to "stay back" on JV because she didn't want to miss vacationing with us, and the jv coach didn't have the same restriction. He believed family came before sports, and missing a few days of practice wouldn't be life or death. She happily played lacrosse with him. Come 10th grade she dropped lacrosse due to the spring break time commitment. It was really a shame she had to make a choice - but as she said - "I am going to college for grades, not for sports." She knew she wasn't going to play Division 1 or 2 sports in college (even though she got a scholarship to do so at UConn, which she happily attends) or go pro. Sorry your son is missing the cruise - but as long as he is happy, that is all that matters.

[cfand3boyz]

:mad: My son is a freshman in HS and happily made the baseball team only to find out he would be CUT if he cruised with us during spring break next week. He would miss 3 games and practice daily...so unfair! plus I did not purchase insurance so lost $$!!

I would absolutely call the coach. He probably said that to keep kids from deciding to sit at home instead of going to practice. I'm sure if you explained to him that this cruise was paid for in advance and that you can't get your money back, he will understand.

[zqvol]

:mad: My son is a freshman in HS and happily made the baseball team only to find out he would be CUT if he cruised with us during spring break next week. He would miss 3 games and practice daily...so unfair! plus I did not purchase insurance so lost $$!!

 

I am usually of the opinion that you never take children out of school for a cruise. This is an example of it being time for parents to retake control of the schools. Unless your son is so good that he has the potential to go professional baseball is irrelevant. Yes, he likes it but enough is enough. The coach needs to be told that family comes first, that your son will go on the trip and he will stay on the team, and be prepared to back it up with a court challenge.

[jaredsdad]

A good coach will punish the kid by sitting out a game or two. A terrible coach will cut a kid for something like this. What a tyrannt for him to suggest a cut if you go on a vacation during spring break. he ought to be fired.

[Crusin6]

:mad: My son is a freshman in HS and happily made the baseball team only to find out he would be CUT if he cruised with us during spring break next week. He would miss 3 games and practice daily...so unfair! plus I did not purchase insurance so lost $$!!

 

 

As the mother of a college Junior...a high school Junior and Freshman...and a 4th grader....here is my advice..but you already know this by now.....

 

forget traveling during Spring Break or late August....better to work in a trip from late June to early August...maybe.

 

But I agree with the others...time to take back family time...and while you ar going at it with the coach...please remind those teachers as well to stop assigning major reports of Spring Break....that is ridiculous as well!

[Crusin6]

Your kid doesnt play in San Diego buy any chance at Madison High School?? Sounds like something our SOB of a varsity coach would say and do! Believe me, I have lived this nightmare for 3 years now. My son is a Junior. He goes as far as to control theri playing time if their hair isnt short enough! YES, HS BASEBALL COACHES ARE CRAZY!!. We havent done a spring break cruise in years because of the Lions Tournament and it is unacceptable to miss it. He missed a prepaid New Years cruise in 2009 because of a tournament at USD. I lost boocoo bucks..my son said flat out " if I dont show mom I will lose my starting position". It's also about recruiting and coaches recomendations. YOU DO NOT WANT TO PISS OF THE COACH!!! It is a sad, sad thing, but HS coaches are on a huge power trip and can control and do alot of damage for the college recuited player. Thank God we have travel coaches that can also back my son.. but HS.. It is a NIGHTMARE!!!:mad:

I hope your coach isn't on CC!!! Oh yeah..he has no time to cruise anyway...because he is a legend in his own mind!!!LOL

[bythehex]

Yes, let the teenager decide what his priorities are. My son's big thing is music and his performance schedule is way more important (to him) than any vacation. If baseball is the OP's son's passion, I'm betting that working hard and making that team means more to him than a single cruise over spring break. It would probably break his heart to have to give up the sport.

 

If the kid wants to advocate for himself and talk to the coach that's one thing; once a kid is in high school his parents really shouldn't be running interference anymore. IMO, of course.

 

I respectfully disagree with you most heartily!! I have to admit to being appalled at your reasoning. To suggest that when a child reaches their teenaged years parents should wash their hands of decision making and let them call the shots is horrifying!! It's not called "running interference" - it's called PARENTING! It's always a parent's responsibility to advocate for their child, even when they're in High School.

 

The OP's son is a HS freshman, he's not yet an adult in any way, shape or form. The parents are the ones who plan, and pay for the vacations. The OP stated they have no insurance, so whatever they already paid is not refundable. I don't think this is a decision for the child to make, it's a decision for the parents to make - the ones who are paying the bills.

 

Missing freshman baseball won't traumatize him for life. It's not as if he's a senior and a college recruiter is coming to offer scholarships. And, since it's spring break he's not missing school. Baseball might not even be a passion for him, we don't know that it is. There's always next season for baseball!

[Friend100]

Wow! Interesting thread but more interesting are the responses. I see them coming from the 2 extremes and both sound like they have a strong case. The good thing is the OP has already made a decision. I have kids and they are approaching the ages that will have more extracurricular activities. I'm learning a lot from both sides here.

[laumicmah]

I am usually of the opinion that you never take children out of school for a cruise. This is an example of it being time for parents to retake control of the schools. Unless your son is so good that he has the potential to go professional baseball is irrelevant. Yes, he likes it but enough is enough. The coach needs to be told that family comes first, that your son will go on the trip and he will stay on the team, and be prepared to back it up with a court challenge.

The coach is the one who says who is on the team and who gets cut...so this coach is saying 'if he's not at practices and games during spring break, he's cut'. This isn't rec ball where EVERYONE makes the team and EVERYONE plays equal amounts and EVERYONE gets a trophy...and it shouldn't be, real life isn't isn't like 'rec' ball. You either make the commitment to the team or you don't...simple as that...no 1/2 commitments or 3/4 or 1/4....!! Why is that everyone wants to bend the rules to suit their own agenda? If you can't comply with the rules, then don't participate...no one is forcing you.

[Elaine515]

While I understand your problem, I have to tell you that here in Palm Beach County in my daughters HS, if you're on a team YOU ARE EXPECTED to show up not only during Spring Break, part of our Winter Break (Xmas week) but also most Saturdays and Sundays and 3 weeks prior to school starting for ALL practices or you will be cut from the team.

 

It is something that should have been mentioned when your son was trying out for the team and also written when you signed a permission slip for him to play on the team...

 

With that said, I would still try to call the Coach and explain the situation, i.e, family trip, money involved etc and see what he says... Good Luck and please let us know what the Coach says....

[Litewait]

I hope your coach isn't on CC!!! Oh yeah..he has no time to cruise anyway...because he is a legend in his own mind!!!LOL

 

 

 

You are so right and you made me laugh out loud!!:D

[GTO-Girl]

To me the most important lesson here is to teach your child that once you make a "commitment" you must see it through, whether it's sports, a job, or a volunteer assignment because in real life we are only as good as our word and when you say you'll do something you should mean it.

 

If your child is trying out for a "Spring" sport then don't plan on cruising in the Spring....same thing with football in the Fall or basketball in Winter.

 

Please show them the most important thing you can do is be the kind of person than people can depend on.

 

(hope I didn't offend anyone....:o)

[fourwaystreet]

Before you jump all over the coach keep in mind that the coach might have very well notified the team of the schedule at the beginning. Your son also made a commitment to the team and as most people who follow sports know there is no "I" in team. Also, there is a kid who got cut that would just love to take your kids spot on the team.

 

If you son or other children continue to play HS sports it will become a common thing for you to put off vacations that you want to take during sports seasons.

 

It might not be fair but high school sports is not little league and coaches have very long memories.

[Blind Squirrel]

OMG people this is High School Sports. Lets get real. What is it 1 in 10,000 that make the jump from HS to collage. 1 in 500,000 that will ever see anything in the pros. Way to much revolves around HS sports. Reading this thread brings back memories of high school ( 20 + years ago ) My father and I were doing some logging on a property that had a rental on it. The renter had gone to school with my dad and all he could talk about was football game from 30 years ago. He had never moved on. How sad. I lettered in all three sport. My dad played college ball. If I would have been given a chance to see another country I would have gone in a heartbeat. It's been 25 years since HS. I can hardly remember any individual games, but I sure would have remembered a cruise. Take the vacation and broaden your sons view of the world. Don't hold me back to a life revolving around HS sports.

[graphicguy]

As a former HS baseball coach, family always comes first....let me repeat for emphasis....FAMILY ALWAYS COMES FIRST.

 

Any coach who punishes one of his students for choosing to do a mahor family function over a couple of practices or games, shouldn't be a coach. They're setting the wrong examples for the students.

[GaNavy]

I think the issue here is one of commitment - if the kid made a commitment to the team, that's it. Yes, family is important - and one of the things it's important for is to teach kids about things like commitment, and the idea that doing one thing means you just can't do other things.

 

I can also say that I was once a 9th grade boy in HS, and I reesnted it mightily when my parents meddled with school activities which I felt I had already made a commitment (there's that word again) to do.

 

I agree with those who say that this boy is old enough to make this decision - he was the one (I assume) who decided to go out for baseball, suggests to me that it's very important to him.

 

And yes, this is a really interesting thread - a real learning moment here, and may I say that applies to both kids AND parents who may find themselves in this position.

[brooklynfc]

Sounds like the OP found a solution, but just to add a angle here:

 

As to being responsible for your actions:

 

I was a senior in HS and I had a supporting role in a play, my biggest role yet. It was a long time ago and all the facts I don't remember, but I remember how it made me feel. My aunt book a beach trip for us, her family and my grandmother the week I had performances. I had to be responsible and make the right decision. I could either leave my fellow actors without a fairly large role missing or stay and miss vacation. No big deal right, stay and do the play, other vacations will come. Except for the fact that my grandmother had cancer. I had went to the beach with my grandmother since I was born, every year. I was told there would be another trip............6 months later she died. I have tried very hard to forgive myself for that decision, but I still can't let it go to this day. Some responsible decisions have consequences.

 

Not saying this is the same situation AT ALL, but I learned my lesson. Responsibility to my family will ALWAYS come first now.

[Litewait]

As a former HS baseball coach, family always comes first....let me repeat for emphasis....FAMILY ALWAYS COMES FIRST.

 

Any coach who punishes one of his students for choosing to do a mahor family function over a couple of practices or games, shouldn't be a coach. They're setting the wrong examples for the students.

 

And thats why the kids and the parents on our HS team can't stand him..

 

@ BLIND SQUIRREL..However, we have SEVERAL players that have colleges and pro teams looking at them. We have 2 Seniors (1 Pros, 1 college), 2 Juniors ( 1 Pros, 1 College (my kid)) and 1 Sophmore (College) right now!!. So guess what, they all shut their mouths and take it. They dont dare piss him off.

 

Right now my son is rehabbing an arm injury, he's a pitcher and cant play right now. He had PT on Tuesday and missed an away game. The coach called him out in class yesterday for missing the game and he cant EVEN PLAY! He and I had a lovely phone call this morning. Our spring break is next week and we arent cruising for the 2nd year now..why?? So he can go and SIT at games he cant play in, because the coach will hold it aginst him.

 

Whoever said coaches have long memories is correct. I wish we had a coach like you unfortunately we dont.

[friedshrimp]

I have no kids, therefore no dog in this fight, but I can understand why it is required the student show up. How are they to learn to work as a cohesive team if this one is gone these days, those two other days, so on and so forth. You could keep them out of team activities, with too much time on their hands to get into trouble :eek: If this is the only time that you have for family (your vacation) then you have bigger issues. Parenthood comes with sacrafices, and this is just one of them. The ball, pun intended, is in your court.

 

There would be no issues if the coach/school didn't schedule games/practices for a time when the students are supposed to be out of school (and all school affiliated functions). Unless the child (yes, child) already has the ability to throw a 95 mph fastball, kick a 65 yard field goal, or hit 10 in a row from 3 point land, he would be on the cruise with his family.