hondorner Posted April 1, 2011 #1 Share Posted April 1, 2011 04/01/2011 -- In the face of rising fuel costs, Oceania has announced it will immediately construct a new ship without engines. Inspired by ancient Mediterranean rowing galleys, it will be the first luxury cruise ship with ports for oars. "Passengers will be expected to take their turn at the oars,", said a corporate spokesperson. "We calculate if each passenger spends four hours, in two - two hour shifts, we can keep the ship moving." Most rowing will be at night, between ports, so passengers will still be able to enjoy local tours. Passengers who cannot or will not take their turn at the oars will be assessed a supplemental fee to pay a substitute. Passengers who are willing to take an extra shift will have a commensurate reduction in their fares. "In fact,", said the spokesman, "we calculate that if someone is willing to spend 16 hours a day at the oars, they can earn enough credits to pay for the cruise, and still have time to enjoy the specialty restaurants." Estimates show that food costs will be increased due to the calories burned, "but that will be less than projected fuel costs," said the spokesman. Frank Del Reo, CEO of parent company Prestige Cruise Holdings, said that all rowing stations will be upholstered with custom Ostrich Feathers over chamomile-infused padding. The oars, mounted in ball bearings, will be custom made titanium models with special counterweights to reduce rowing effort. "I recognize that our passenger demographic is of an advanced age range, he said, "so I want to make the rowing as easy as possible." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OzAbroad Posted April 1, 2011 #2 Share Posted April 1, 2011 VERY amusing - but tell me - did the press release mention any adjustment to the country club dress code. Any formal rowing nights would be unacceptable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sitraveler Posted April 1, 2011 #3 Share Posted April 1, 2011 No adjustment is necessary, there are no formal nights on Oceania. I guess we'll all see on June 29th in Anchorage Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
borntobecruising Posted April 1, 2011 #4 Share Posted April 1, 2011 Don, I assume there is no need for exercise equipment in the spa and will Water skiing be a fee added activity. Colin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XTEACH281 Posted April 1, 2011 #5 Share Posted April 1, 2011 Heeheehee....this is SO much better than the stunts my students would try to pull off for April Fool's Day. :). Cheers..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TKS Posted April 1, 2011 #6 Share Posted April 1, 2011 Where do we sign up? We're always trying to lose weight after a cruise. Now we can work on it during! Happy 4/1/11 all!:D Kay Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luv1another4ever Posted April 1, 2011 #7 Share Posted April 1, 2011 Don, So if I sign up to row 16 hours a day, does that mean that the current cruise is free? And are they still going to include free air? How about free hotel in 2012? I was just thinking that if I booked a couple B2Bs each month then I could drop my gym membership and live on the ship for 20+ days a month for free!! I like it, and just think how good my arms will look. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JimandStan Posted April 1, 2011 #8 Share Posted April 1, 2011 I already spend 16 hours a day at the oars...... or maybe that was the bars! :confused: I must pay more attention! :rolleyes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hondorner Posted April 1, 2011 Author #9 Share Posted April 1, 2011 ... And are they still going to include free air?. Taking a cue from Oceania, Lufthansa has announced they are developing a lighter-than-airship that is powered by passengers pedaling stationary bikes attached to propellers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YoHoHo Posted April 1, 2011 #10 Share Posted April 1, 2011 Will there be a smoking section? Can I book my preferred times on-line? Will there be priority booking for those in Suites? If I 'catch a crab' can I keep it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skigrams Posted April 1, 2011 #11 Share Posted April 1, 2011 Pretty funny stuff, Don and I was reading it in utter disbelief forgetting totally that it was April 1st. I would like to be the one that oversees the rowers since my back is so back I couldn't possibly handle the oars!! Good stuff, have a fun-filled day. Bobi Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mura Posted April 1, 2011 #12 Share Posted April 1, 2011 Sounds like a good way to counteract the effects of the various dining rooms ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
searanch queen Posted April 1, 2011 #13 Share Posted April 1, 2011 I want to sign up for the "go fetch water" group! What perks do I get? Free drinks at happy hour maybe. Deb Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TKS Posted April 1, 2011 #14 Share Posted April 1, 2011 I already spend 16 hours a day at the oars......or maybe that was the bars! :confused: I must pay more attention! :rolleyes: Ah, that must be why you haven't yet posted the photos. As ones "in the know" we were just sure you already had the plans to share.:) Kay Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CintiPam Posted April 1, 2011 #15 Share Posted April 1, 2011 Thanks, Don, for a real ROTFLOL moment when I am very stressed. Kudos to the other posters as well, including the so easily imaginable one by Jim! ;) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hondorner Posted April 1, 2011 Author #16 Share Posted April 1, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frede Sander Posted April 1, 2011 #17 Share Posted April 1, 2011 really funny.Here in Denmark all the media is competing to see who falls into the Aprill fool`s trap. Humour is the salt to life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TKS Posted April 1, 2011 #18 Share Posted April 1, 2011 Wonderful picture, Don! I knew I'd seen that somewhere, just couldn't remember where. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benita Posted April 1, 2011 #19 Share Posted April 1, 2011 Can I row from the cabana that I rented? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
capecodder2 Posted April 1, 2011 #20 Share Posted April 1, 2011 Love it!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JimandStan Posted April 1, 2011 #21 Share Posted April 1, 2011 all rowing stations will be upholstered with custom Ostrich Feathers over chamomile-infused padding. On behalf of the entire membership of the PWWFBPAAEA (International Chapter), I demand that non-ostrich upholstery be used in at least 43.3% of all rowing apparatus. In short, Oceania may choose to give us the bird, but we choose not to accept it lying down....er......so to speak! James Franzese Spokesperson Ad LitemPublicist Ad hocInternational Organization of Passengers Who Were Frightened By Poultry At An Early Age -Never be Afraid to cry fowl!- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Benita Posted April 1, 2011 #22 Share Posted April 1, 2011 If I do an extra shift, can I jump the line for the washing machines? Better yet, to save fuel, can I have a wooden washboard? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meow! Posted April 1, 2011 #23 Share Posted April 1, 2011 04/01/2011 -- In the face of rising fuel costs, Oceania has announced it will immediately construct a new ship without engines.."We have been fooled by your topic, thinking that FDR has become super-brave again! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JimandStan Posted April 1, 2011 #24 Share Posted April 1, 2011 We have been fooled by your topic, thinking that FDR has become super-brave again! I do so enjoy the Imperial "we"..... We are amused! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luv1another4ever Posted April 1, 2011 #25 Share Posted April 1, 2011 On behalf of the entire membership of the PWWFBPAAEA (International Chapter), I demand that non-ostrich upholstery be used in at least 43.3% of all rowing apparatus. In short, Oceania may choose to give us the bird, but we choose not to accept it lying down....er......so to speak! James Franzese Spokesperson Ad LitemPublicist Ad hocInternational Organization of Passengers Who Were Frightened By Poultry At An Early Age -Never be Afraid to cry fowl!- Jim I support the PWWFBPAAEA, Big Bird has always frightened me. Besides, I am allergic to ostrich. Maybe there could be a pillow menu? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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