Missing a week of college as a freshman?

[bqkali]

I'm only a few years out of college, and still remember clearly my college days :D In fact, I missed 3 days of class once to go to Europe and fell ridiculously behind...so I know how hard this proposition would be. I can only imagine taking a full week away from class!!

 

I think this is a generous and thoughtful idea, but an absolutely horrible idea just the same!!

 

College is hard, especially as a freshman. She will barely have gotten adjusted to college life, from living in dorms to taking on adult responsibilities and dealing with a million different types of stress...and that's before you factor in the academics!

 

It's very possible that she could miss class without a professor noticing - but it's true that some professors have a strict attendance policy and DO notice. I had several that had a maximum of 3 absences allowed, or else automatic failure. In a one-week cruise, she'd miss all 3 of these permitted days off in some cases (for example, a class offered Monday, Wednesday, Friday). God forbid, if she ended up having an emergency or illness and needed to take another day off....well, you can imagine the problems that would bring. Yes, many other professors are much more lax - but the problem is, final payment will be due before she ever gets a syllabus to learn policies (or find out when important assignments/exams will be due).

 

Even if everything falls into place, and she doesn't have any important labs/papers/presentations/exams that week, there will still be a LOT of work that week. From regular homework assignments to reading, she'd either have to bring work on the cruise with her (not just a little, probably hours worth!!) or risk falling behind. Trust me, once you fall behind in a college course, it's hard to get back to where you need to be.

 

And I kind of hate to say it, but once you go to college, you don't want anything to do with high schoolers anymore :eek: If you did go on the cruise, I bet she wouldn't be caught dead in the kids club!!! I'm not sure why so much weight is being put on not wanting to cruise once she turns 18? There's still lots to do onboard whether it's the shows, pool, or structured onboard activities. Plus wouldn't some of the point of this cruise be that you could spend time together? Enjoy each other's companionship and catch up on the latest stories!!

 

Lastly, it seems silly to me to say this is her last chance to cruise with you. I vacationed with my family as a college student and still had a good time, and I took a 10-day trip with just my mom after I graduated and had the time of my life :) Pick a trip that falls over one of her breaks - then she won't have to worry at all about missing time from school.

 

All in all, I think the timing of this is really poor, but kudos to you for coming up with such a lovely idea of how to spend time with your daughter :):) Hopefully you'll find another time to go on an absolutely wonderful trip together.

[Rhysma]

As a college professor I would agree: don't do it.

 

You are going to put a lot of unnecessary stress on your daughter. There may be an exam or quizzes she would not be allowed to make up. Most college classes build as they progress and the material covered while she was gone will be necessary for understanding the material that is coming up. Not to mention that she will have a ton of work to make up.

 

As someone mentioned, to get some types of federal funding an attendance policy is often in place. This means that students are usually not allowed to miss more than a certain number of days (3 in the case of my school) without a medical or family emergency. You may cause her to lose a lot of attendance points, fail the course or be withdrawn from her classes for violation of the attendance policy.

 

Wait for a break. It would be the best thing for her. It would also teach her the important lesson that sometimes we have to do the responsible thing instead of the more fun option. A lesson that most freshman need :)

[mzloolue]

Just my opinion, as a college graduate and mom of two college grads, missing classes in college is a very bad idea.

 

Very very bad idea.

 

Unless you break a leg or have a temp of 101, then do not miss.

 

And it really helps if the kid knows that the parents expect them to be in class.

College is important.

It costs a lot of money and it is not a time to play around.

 

Missing classes sends the message to the college instructors and professors that the student had something that they considered more important than making it to class.

Missing a week of classes for a vacation is kind of an insult.

 

Even the professors who do not seem to take roll may know who is there and who is not.

 

We have always worked around school for cruises.

 

The last of august worked out well for us.

The cruise rates are good then and college classes have not started.

Not only that, but if one of the kids had a summer job or an internship, they could work straight through right up to the cruise date and then start the new fall semester.

Edited April 3, 2011 by mzloolue

[nanuak]

Slightly OT, but what advisor allowed you to carry that many hours as a freshman? :eek:

 

I clept out of so many classes as a freshman, I guess they decided that I could handle the heavy load. It was so hard, and I would NEVER recommend that anyone do that nor did I ever do it again.

 

[FloridaMimi]

I agree with the others who say that this is highly context dependent - which school, which classes, which professor, labs vs. lectures, what sort of student your DD is, etc.

 

That said ... I teach at a university and advise first year students. The first month and a half of college seems super easy to new students. In contrast to high school, when students spend 30+ hours per week in classrooms, college students are usually only in the classroom for 15 hours per week. In high school there are usually daily homework assignments, whereas many college classrooms do NOT have assigned homework. First year students haven't yet figured out that they are supposed to be doing reading and studying on their own, even when there are no homework assignments. The first round of exams is when "stuff" hits the fan for many of these 1st year, 1st semester students. Our university provides 1st year students with mid-semester progress reports (from instructors in each class), and right around one-half of all students receive at least one "unsatisfactory" report, indicating that they are NOT passing at least one class (many of those students receive multiple 'U' reports ... my experience has been that around 1/3 of first year students whom I advise receive 3+ unsatisfactory reports). This is a wake-up call, and (some) students finally realize that they need to buckle down if they want to turn things around. In my opinion, taking a student out of college for a full week at this time isn't a very good idea.

 

(Editing to add that many students who receive unsatisfactory progress reports are genuinely surprised to learn that they were not passing. As I said, everything seemed easy to them up until the point that they actually took exams. Ignorance is bliss....)

 

 

I totally agree. My son took all honors classes in high school and made great grades. Mostly A's with a couple B's. It all came relatively easy for him without much effort. He is now in his senior year at USF to become a Mechanical Engineer. BUT.... his first semester of college was a HUGE wake up call for him. He thought he could put forth the same amount of effort in college as in high school and do just as well. He almost, I said almost failed his 1st semester because of it. It took all of his ability and hard work to bring his GPA up. Taking a week off during her first semester is a very bad idea !!! :eek:

[tinlizzy]

I wondered about this too. My son and I still take vacations together, he is in his early 20s. And I went on many many vacations with my parents after I had left home. We vacationed together for the rest of their lives,I took them on a cruise for their 50th anniversary.

Me, three. My only child was also leaving for college and he was hinting that he wouldn't want to vacation with me anymore. BUT he soon became as meloncholy as myself about his childhood ending and couldn't wait for our vacations after being away from home.

 

It's a bittersweet time in parents and children's lives.

[deborahjo]

My youngest would never have thought of missing a week of college for a cruise. He is a music education major and thankful will graduate in May. He could never have made up a weeks worth of work.

 

Of course that is why we are celebrating his graduation with taking him and his fiancee on a cruise.

Edited April 3, 2011 by deborahjo

[Little Elm]

Great idea, but I would either take her before college started, or on a break. They do take attendance, and you will get a failing grade or incomplete. She will be 18, the cruise does not have to be ON her birthday. A cruise for her birthday would be just as good.

[Tasha4199]

I also recommend talking to her, and getting her opinion. It really depends on her, and what she is studying. I took mainly web design and various computer classes, and took the majority of them online, so it would not have been an issue for me. Also, many classes are only one day a week, so missing one class is nothing drastic. But she will need to give you her input as to whether it is feasible for her.

[sugarsmacksweet]

I missed almost two weeks of university my freshman year (law) and I was just fine ... If you daughter is a hard worker and does not mind making work up you are fine ... this is post secondary school and the profs don't chase you and harass you about work or attendance they understand you are an adult and the only persons who is going to miss out on not giving it your best is yourself ... You and your daughter will have a great trip (on a side note my last big family vacation was my freshman year!)

[sugarsmacksweet]

You can't be serious. :confused: You really think that's a legit reason for your COLLEGE STUDENT daughter to miss a week of class instead of taking her during a break? <insert facepalm here>

 

I'm sorry but if that is what her daughter enjoys then why would that not be "legit"? Your post added absolutely no insight or information with respect to the original post yet you posted anyways (insert face palm here)

[gnocchi_mommy]

Aloha,

 

I am thinking of surprising my daughter with a 7 day cruise for her 18th birthday. The problem is that she starts college as a freshman this August. The cruise would be at the end of October, so two months into the semester, and not yet near finals. I never got to go to college, and this is my first child going, so I am not sure how the teachers will react. Are they usually understanding? Will they let her make up missed work? Any suggestions? Thanks for your help!

 

Mahalo.

 

We JUST did this with DS, we flew to Europe for almost 3 weeks and did an 11 night RCI cruise- for 1 week of it, it was spring break, so he ended up missing almost 2 weeks. It was also his 18th birthday when we went! :)

 

I would not suggest a surprise, what DS did was talk to each professor/instructor as soon as the semester started to let them know this would be happening. He also was well lectured by us to understand 2 weeks is forever in college time so he needed to have his grades up there and work caught up before we left. His instructers were VERY helpful, and even allowed hi to take 2 exams before he left at he testing center than he was going to miss. The hardest thing for him was he is in a theatre class and has a pretty big role in as upcoming play, he had to sit down with his castmates and come up with a pre and post trip rehearsal schedule that would allow him enough rehearsal time.

 

It seems to have worked out so far but really, we won't have definitive proof until next week when the play premiers and May when his final grades are released. I'm nervous but he assures me he is doing fine.

 

The trip was AMAZING, my kids have never been to Europe before so they got so much out of it... it was an incredible way to turn 18 for him and important for us as he leaves in May for boot camp (is following dad's footsteps and joining the US Coast Guard) It was kind of the last big hurrah before he takes off for good.

[gnocchi_mommy]

LOL Just saw your locale!! Is your DD at UH or one of the CCs? My son goes to Leeward! :)

Edited April 4, 2011 by gnocchi_mommy

[gnocchi_mommy]

It's college, not high school. A note from Mommy isn't going to cut it. Professors do not speak to parents about their kids either....your daughter is an adult, and needs to make the decision for herself. Keep in mind that most classes only allow for 3 absences....after that, they fail, or at minimum get their final grade lowered by one letter. Plus, she is going to miss a LOT of work!

 

She will most likely have group projects going on in more than one class (they are a constant reality for college students) and that will not go over well with her group partners if she is going to be absent...because then they're going to have to pick up her slack.

 

I cannot imagine missing an entire week of college for any reason, especially going on vacation. She's off for a few weeks at the end of December into January....take her after the new year.

I think things are much more laid back, academically and culturally, at HAwaii institutions than NJ. Here it is not uncommon for students to miss class because the big surf finally comes in on the north shore. I am originally from the east coast (PA) and I know the attitude toward higher ed (ha, and lower ed, hence the private school for my younger kiddo) feels really different there so this may be hard to understand if you are only accustomed to a more rigorous education system.

Edited April 4, 2011 by gnocchi_mommy

[gnocchi_mommy]

Don't do it Mahalo, it sends the message that college doesn't matter as much as a cruise, and that's not a good message to send to an 18yo.

 

psst, just thought I'd point out Mahalo means thank you in HAwaiian, it's not her name. ;-)

[rob6465]

Question....Would the same apply to 1st week? My niece will be entering her 2nd year of college in September 2018 and wife and I want to take her on a cruise that falls the first week of classes.

[js]

I have two children. One in college and one in law school.

I always took my children out of school until they hit high school, where they got a ton of work.

Although my kids will always say yes to a vacation, they would never ever want me to schedule

during actual classes, especially my dd in law school. She is a "student" and always on top of her work and always needs an A and there is NO WAY she would have missed school. Heck, I just booked the Vista for next February and asked if she wanted to go and I would move the date to a February winter break and she said she would have too much reading and work to do while on the cruise and declined.

 

I know your dd loves the kids club but why don't you surprise her on her birthday with a cruise but

book for the first-second week of January. Prices will be much lower and you can both enjoy the nightlife together, a whole different and new cruise experience for the two of you.

 

Let us know what you decide.

[Saint Greg]

Question....Would the same apply to 1st week? My niece will be entering her 2nd year of college in September 2018 and wife and I want to take her on a cruise that falls the first week of classes.

 

Why not just start a new thread so we aren't reading six pages of posts from six years ago? But to answer your question, I'd take her before school starts.

[rob6465]

Why not just start a new thread so we aren't reading six pages of posts from six years ago? But to answer your question, I'd take her before school starts.

:halo:

[krehberg]

oh my...didn't notice the date LOL

[nycmedic]

Dont Miss a week of College. It is wrong for many of the reasons stated above and it sends a bad message about how much you value your daughter's education. I actually did it on my first crusie when I was a freshman. Never made up the work since you really can't catch up. It cost me dearly.

[SadieN]

Usually they're only allowed to miss two or three sessions. Wouldn't do it for a cruise.

This is from a parent who did take her kids out of school for a week or two at various other times.

 

Go on vacation. The 18 yo can stay home by themselves.

[SadieN]

Question....Would the same apply to 1st week? My niece will be entering her 2nd year of college in September 2018 and wife and I want to take her on a cruise that falls the first week of classes.

 

 

First week is the worst week to miss school. Teacher can drop you and the seat can be taken by someone else.

[tef43]

This is potentially in the middle of mid-term exams.

 

Don't do it.

[forb0054]

I am going to put my two cents in here. I started cruising with my mother at 17. We have done a cruise together each year since that time. I have loved each and every week spent together just me and her. I was attending college for four years of our mother daughter cruises and we ALWAYS scheduled them during a break, usually March. I would never miss a full week of college. I also went on to get my Masters Degree and we cruised only during my breaks. It is too much to risk. They may let her submit online if you are lucky, but missing the lectures will put her behind.

 

Also my father had a life threatening accident, he was air flighted and in intensive care for months following the accident. I had a professor tell me if i missed the exam I failed. I got the call a couple hours before the exam that he was air flighted. This was my Freshman Year during midterms. That is how serious some professors can be about being present to take a quiz or exam. Don't do it. This is just silly in my opinion.