Crusing with or without infant....

[RedskinsCruiser2010]

I had a cruise on Oasis planned for Aug. 2012 (that we booked last year on our Liberty of the Seas Cruise) but recently found out that I am preggo and will be delivering in Dec. 2011. I want to push the trip to 2013 and possibly take my baby. By that time he /she will be over 1 years old and can walk some. My husband does not mind pushing the cruise back just for money purposes but really does not like the idea of taking the baby on a cruise when one of the granmothers can watch him / her and plus he does not want the baby to be exposed to stuff (I dont know what the hell he is talking about as far as that goes. I am guessing germs and norovirus or something). I personally feel that I would be sad the entire time leaving my baby for a week. My main question is has anyone cruised without their little one before? Did you feel guilty? Thanks

[rebeccalouiseagain]

Cruise lines usually require you to be less than 24 weeks at the time of sailing. So if you are visibly showing they may ask questions of you- how far along etc. So this might be a problem. Maybe better to do July IMO.

 

I think that you should go now not later. Once the baby comes you don't know what the future holds. The baby maybe fussy etc. I don't agree that you will enjoy a cruise with an infant at home. I would never have left my infant at home. Just too important of a bonding experience and I wouldn't have had a good time.

[cb at sea]

I differ....if the grandparents (who apparently raised your or hubby quite well!!!) are willing and able, I'd let them babysit! No one will love and care for their grandchild any better!

It's GOOD to get away from baby! Parents need to be more than parents...and after a child, reconnecting as partners/lovers/friends is healthy!

[rebeccalouiseagain]

I disagree. I would not have liked being away from my baby. This is no slap in the face to the grandparents. I am sure they are willing and able. Women have concerns about their babies- it is just natural. If you are nursing this is problematic because you don't want to have to stop for a cruise. My older son nursed for one year.

 

Also, you have no idea whether or not your child will be fit to travel or have health issues (god forbid) that grandparents may not be up to the challenge with.

 

Right now, you are healthy and should go on the cruise. I cruised 7 months pregnant (didn't know about the rule and had to buy extra insurance but this was only because NCL made an exception for me- not the general rule) and it was wonderful. I was treated royally by the staff. I swam everyday in the slightly heated pool (98 degrees is fine). I ate great food and exercised. It was nice to have this calm before the storm.

 

My son has been on everyone of my cruises since he was born (except one on Oceania in 2007) and he loves them. He's been on 22 and he is 10 years old. I think it was that pregnant cruise experience that made him this way!

[RedskinsCruiser2010]

Well I am 50/50 on it. I know that my little one will be almost 2 by the time we go in 2013 so I think that if I did leave him or her with my mom or my husbands mom then at least he or she will know them and love being around them. I just know I will miss my baby :-(

Then on the other hand I do want to make sure that my relationship is just as strong and healthy like before the baby (this is my first child and I have heard that it is hard to try and bring that romance back into the relationship once a baby comes. Just being real about it. Not saying that my relationship would be horrible or something). Maybe I can shorten the cruise to a 3/4 day and not feel as bad (maybe leave from Baltimore instead of Florida). I got some time to think about it but I was just wondering about it. Thanks for everyones suggestions.

[RedskinsCruiser2010]

I disagree. I would not have liked being away from my baby. This is no slap in the face to the grandparents. I am sure they are willing and able. Women have concerns about their babies- it is just natural. If you are nursing this is problematic because you don't want to have to stop for a cruise. My older son nursed for one year.

 

Also, you have no idea whether or not your child will be fit to travel or have health issues (god forbid) that grandparents may not be up to the challenge with.

 

Right now, you are healthy and should go on the cruise. I cruised 7 months pregnant (didn't know about the rule and had to buy extra insurance but this was only because NCL made an exception for me- not the general rule) and it was wonderful. I was treated royally by the staff. I swam everyday in the slightly heated pool (98 degrees is fine). I ate great food and exercised. It was nice to have this calm before the storm.

 

My son has been on everyone of my cruises since he was born (except one on Oceania in 2007) and he loves them. He's been on 22 and he is 10 years old. I think it was that pregnant cruise experience that made him this way!

 

 

Well I am already planning to go to Key West in August for our much needed vacation so I can't go on any cruise right now.

[rebeccalouiseagain]

Toddlers don't travel well and I would leave the toddler home if there is someone willing to watch him or her. I am sure that you will miss the little one but I did leave my toddler home one year for 9 days and while I did miss him there was no way we would have been able to do the things we did with him in tow. A cruise is pretty hard with kids between the time they start crawling and under the age of 3- been there.

[bus man]

OP, congratulations on your pregnancy! I understand your predicament, and I mean no offense or disrespect, but right now you simply cannot know how you will feel about being apart from your baby. Once you've actually given birth and had the little one around for awhile, you might not want to let him/her out of your sight . . . or you may well be desperate for some baby-free time with your husband. Only time and experience will be able to answer that one for you.

 

My advice would be to try and move the cruise UP, not back, and sail before you have your baby. In general, it's a good idea to clear your plate before a baby comes, and this would be one more thing off your "to-do list" and out of the way. If that's not possible, I would table the discussion and revisit it after you've had your baby for awhile.

 

FWIW, DW and I took a cruise last fall to celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary -- WITHOUT our kids, who were 4 and 2 at the time. The grandparents watched them, and they did just fine. Did I miss them? Sure I did. But I needed some time alone with just my wife, and I'm glad we did it the way we did. The kiddos will be joining us on our next cruise, coming up next spring.

[rebeccalouiseagain]

Well I am already planning to go to Key West in August for our much needed vacation so I can't go on any cruise right now.

 

Oh sorry you did say August of 2012. I am thinking August 2011. Sorry for the pregnancy discussion! But the other part does hold true. I have two boys and really as much work as they are- just the idea of leaving them when they were babies for a long stretch of time was just out of the question for me. Going out to dinner is one thing... 7 days quite another.

[bus man]

Oops . . . just saw the OP's post after mine posted. It looks like doing the cruise before the baby won't work.

[Kerry's Girls]

I would book the cruise to include your child and then you can make the final decision before final payment. That way you leave your options open until you know how you feel about leaving your child, or how well your child will travel (not all toddlers are difficult to travel with - mine did tons of long trips, long airplane rides, cruises, international travel as toddlers and we always had a great time). If you book without your child, it is not always possible to add a third passenger later on, even if you're in a cabin for three. The cost of the deposit will be worth leaving the option open.

 

All the best,

Mia

[Julienatul]

It really depends on what type of vacation you want. A family vacation or a reconnnecting relaxing vacation with your hubby. Your family will watch your little one and he/she would be fine. However, could you be away from them that long with sporadic communication? I personally couldn't do it that young but am very envious of people who are able to. A child free vacation sounds wonderful I'm just not quite ready yet. We started cruising with our kids at 7months and 8 months and cruise 2-3 times a year. They are both old enough for the kids clubs now so we do get some downtime but it certainly is not the same as "adult cruising". Although we have great memories with our kids, first beach, first time eating ice cream or lobster, their faces when they see the production shows or explore the big boat. If you would be miserable the whole time then take him/her, if not get away, recharge enjoy yourself and be a great mommy the other 51 weeks out of the year!

[RedskinsCruiser2010]

Wow... thanks everyone. I am really glad I posted this. I have got alot of good suggestions from everyone. I know that I might feel differnt once the baby comes but I am a compulsive vacation planner (I mean serious, I have to plan all of it and I try to do it really early. LOL). So I was just trying to see what I can do since the 2013 prices are pretty good right now on Allure and Oasis. Thanks again everyone. This really is helping me figure some stuff out.

[TRacanoUK]

We're taking our son on our first vacation since having him, a cruise in September (he'll be 14 months). Growing up, DH and I always had family vacations and we want to continue that tradition. We both work full time, so any time we get to spend with our son is special. We wouldn't want to leave him home with grandparents when he could be with us sharing our time. Maybe it's working mother's guilt, but I couldn't leave him at home.

[SusieV]

I just got back from ten days in Vegas without my son. We also did an 11 night cruise with him in December.

 

I love him and I miss him when I go away- but a vacation just ain't a vacation when I'm waking up at 6am and having to focus on keeping my toddler entertained instead of relaxing and making myself happy. I come home more rejuvenated and a better mom after having a break.

 

Leave him/her with Grandma and enjoy your trip.

[RedskinsCruiser2010]

SusieV:

How was your 11 day cruise with your son?

My husband and I talked about it last night and said we would try and save some money and see if we can pay for one of our parents to go on the cruise with us so that we can get some alone time plus be with the baby. I just dont want either of our parents to think that they are just coming to babysit.

[mjkacmom]

I had 5 kids in under 7 years (my twins were last), and all of them were left with the grandparents as babies, as well as when they were older (they still think it's a special treat, BTW). The youngest I left a baby was 6 week - my poor IL's, his older sister was sleeping through the night at this point, but he was not!

 

I know people bring babies on cruises all of the time, but personally, I wouldn't enjoy it much. I like to relax by the pool (no pool for the non-potty trained crowd), and have the kids spend a couple hours in the kids club. When my kids (youngest are 8) were babies and toddlers, I liked to have them home, with my baby-proofed home, their toys, swings, exersaucers, cribs, etc.

 

My kids are excellent in restaurants. However, when they were toddlers, not so much. I've always had age appropriate expectations for my kids. We went on a cruise last November, and they were great about behaving during meals, shows, and in public. My kids have gone on vacation with us very young, but not on a cruise. I think they would've gotten more enjoyment being pampered by the grandparents than being in an unfamiliar environment on a ship.

[MandyGirl]

Our kiddos have traveled GREAT! :) Our 4-year-old has been on around 60+ flights now, and does well on flights and wherever we are sleeping (including tent camping). Our 11-month old has been an even easier traveler. First trip with both kiddos was when the baby was 2 months and daughter 3 years - by myself out-of-state with them. No issues. We do not have a nanny or grandparent travel with us. When someone tells you toddlers do not travel well, I definitely know that they cannot be referring to ALL toddlers because our's have traveled so much with much ease. (11-month old has now vacationed in 8 states, 4 year old is much more than that - each trip is something new - not returning to the same place twice)

 

Both kiddos are going on a 14-night cruise with us in September for our transatlantic cruise (Disney Cruise Line), plus several days pre- and post- cruise. I'm a breastfeeding mother following the World Health Organization's recommendation of breastmilk for two years, so it is nice to travel with baby vs breastpump. Hubby and I did take 8 nights when our oldest was 2, and honestly, I teared up each day missing her. Loved our cruise though, but missed my child. That was right after finishing grad school - my happy graduation present - so I was just juggling full-time job and one child then. Disney has many things worth looking at for traveling with young ones (nursery, plexiglass by railings, etc).

 

Do what YOU feel is best for YOU. I have done it both ways, and learned there is one I personally like much better than the other. Having lost a student in the past, I know how precious life is and want to spend life making memories with my family.

[mjkacmom]

I disagree. I would not have liked being away from my baby. This is no slap in the face to the grandparents. I am sure they are willing and able. Women have concerns about their babies- it is just natural. If you are nursing this is problematic because you don't want to have to stop for a cruise.!

 

One of my dearest friends planned a cruise before becoming pregnant with her only child. She knew she wanted to nurse her baby for at least a year (even working full time). Her IL's were going to watch her dd for the week, and they believed formula was better. My gf pumped like crazy, as to not risk her MIL giving her dd formula, because her bm ran out. Her freezer of bm was plenty, and her dd continued to nurse when she got back. Because my friend worked FT, her dd was used to bottles.

[rebeccalouiseagain]

Both my kids were happy little travelers. So you are right- the kids enjoy travel but I didn't really enjoy traveling with toddlers.

 

On one flight from Baltimore to San Antonia (to visit my sister) my older son was jumping on the seat and I didn't want him to annoy people so tried to walk with him up and down the aisles. The flight attendant was trying to do the drink service and somehow my then 18 month old, looked up her skirt. Well I thought it was kind of funny but she was really mad. Embarrassing moment indeed.

 

The thing about toddlers is they HAVE to toddle. Its normal and its what they do best. They HAVE to explore and hate being confined for very long... so plane rides suck. And then trying to sit by the pool- forget about it... they are off and running. You can't blame them... its what they do. So your are left to be constantly on the move or else (cries and tantrums). So this is not a fun time for ME- it is for them! I love my boys like everyone loves their kids but we did go to Europe one year (Me and my older son) and left the little one home with Dad and my sister. We did so much that we couldn't have done with a then 19 month old. And my older son got all the attention, which he probably needed.

[OasisFamily2011]

I just wanted to agree with some advice that rebeccalouise gave. Take the trip when your child is an infant (pre-walking). I have 2 children (5 and 7) and have travelled extensively with them all over the world. The hardest ages to travel are toddler - 2 years (make that 3 for some kids). A family vacation is different of course than being alone with hubby, but I think you will have a really nice vacation with your infant. Bring a stroller that reclines, spring for a balcony cabin, and honor the nap. As many can testify, the toddler age has its own joys, but, your vacation will not be as relaxing.

[MandyGirl]

I just wanted to agree with some advice that rebeccalouise gave. Take the trip when your child is an infant (pre-walking). I have 2 children (5 and 7) and have travelled extensively with them all over the world. The hardest ages to travel are toddler - 2 years (make that 3 for some kids). A family vacation is different of course than being alone with hubby, but I think you will have a really nice vacation with your infant. Bring a stroller that reclines, spring for a balcony cabin, and honor the nap. As many can testify, the toddler age has its own joys, but, your vacation will not be as relaxing.

 

Most definitely agree! Those "little" things you do can go a long way. Reclining stroller can be a life-saver (or a sling if your child is still small enough - used mine until almost age 2 down in the Grenadines when we HAD to pack super light for small airplanes - no stroller). Balcony cabin is nice for putting kids down for a nap and you enjoying outside. I have read of several utilizing a small inflatable pool on their balcony for their non-potty-trained kiddos. And naps are a must on any vacation.

 

It is definitely easier to travel with an infant versus a toddler, and neither are deal-breakers. Granted, the longest nonstop flight we have been on is 8 hours, but we did fine (and that was with a lapchild). The other thing worth considering is not letting your child fly in your lap, but purchasing a seat for them. That is what we are doing for our flight to Barcelona - each of us has our own seat. Night-time flights are good as well for kiddos dozing off to sleep.

 

We will also be utilizing Disney's nursery onboard some so we have some adult time, and hope to plan that such as at bedtime (rock her to sleep, then have date night). Our older daughter keeps wanting to watch the kids club videos on the internet - she cannot wait for the cruise! I know some complain that the kids club hours are too limited, but I am not finding that to be the case on Disney (I really don't see ANY of us being up past midnight!). And at $6 per hour for under age 3, that is cheaper than our babysitters at home.

[bus man]

Night-time flights are good as well for kiddos dozing off to sleep.

 

Probably true for most kids, but not mine. They simply will not sleep on planes, period. Doesn't matter how long the flight is, or what time of day or night it is. Granted, we haven't tried overnight flights, but that's because I'm afraid my kids would insist on roaming the aisles all night and keep the other passengers awake.

 

Don't get me wrong; it's not that my kids are bad travelers. Far from it. They both love to fly, and they're very good on planes. But they won't sleep. In fact, DS (4.5 yo) delights in teasing me that he will not take a nap on the plane, period. Even when we flew from Denver to Baltimore and didn't get in until midnight (over 4 hours past his normal bedtime), yep, you guessed it, DS was wide awake and happy as a clam. DD (2.5 yo) will occasionally nap for short periods in-flight; she did conk off on that particular flight.

 

My point in all this is simply to say that each child is unique unto himself or herself, and there's just no way that a one-size-fits-all "policy" on whether or not to travel with children will work. Everyone needs to do what is best for them.

[bus man]

The flight attendant was trying to do the drink service and somehow my then 18 month old, looked up her skirt. Well I thought it was kind of funny but she was really mad. Embarrassing moment indeed.

 

Personally, I think it's pretty funny too. Though, maybe if I was the one trying to serve drinks to a planeload of passengers, I wouldn't be so amused.

 

My experience has been that most flight attendants enjoy young children (when they're not screaming, at least) and do what they can to help them enjoy the flight. Sure, there are those that get annoyed with the wee ones underfoot; but they've been a minority on the flights my family has been on.

[SusieV]

SusieV:

How was your 11 day cruise with your son?

My husband and I talked about it last night and said we would try and save some money and see if we can pay for one of our parents to go on the cruise with us so that we can get some alone time plus be with the baby. I just dont want either of our parents to think that they are just coming to babysit.

 

Draining. I vacation to get away and just relax and do my own thing. You can't really do that with a toddler, and we did bring my mother with us! I don't want to wake up at 6am on vacation and skip dinner in the MDR because my son couldn't handle a 2 hour meal. Not to mention taking turns to go out in the evenings.

 

It was a nice cruise and I enjoyed it... but it would have been a lot nicer if we had left our son at home. There are experiences he can wait to enjoy when he gets older, and Mommy and Daddy can have some quality time alone instead.