Excuse my ignorance....but why is this rude??

[Shmobo]

On our last cruise we were sharing a table with a friend of 4 that is always late for at least 30 minutes every meals! They said that they are always late no matter what they are doing :eek: .

 

Since we were always on time, our waiter just took our orders but we always order 2 appetitizers, salad and soup...so by the time they got seated we will be working on our salad..

[Dorothy]

I do think that people should arrive on time. We certainly do. We just got off Monarch and most people at our table came at different times. Our waiter handled things well I suppose because he would ask us if we would like to wait for the others or go ahead and order. We opted to wait 10-15 minutes nibbling on bread and then order. At that point, the rest of the table would show up.

 

I think that people who are habitually late should consider the freestyle dining. That sounds like a good alternative.

[Arizona Cruz Chic]

Sorry, I do think it is rude to show up 15 minutes late every night. The nights guests who are a no-show is very rude. We always tell our waiter if we will not be dining that night or the next night.

 

 

***

[hstrybuf]

IMHO, being late to dinner is rude. It seems to be a misconception that the assigned dinner time is only a "general" time. It is NOT! We have been fortunate never to have experienced tablemates who were habitually late. Even someone who was late just once always apologized to the table and it rarely happened on any cruise.

 

On our last cruise, we had made dinner reservations with new friends for the last night of the cruise at Chops. We let both the waitstaff and our tablemates know that we would not be joining them and also handed out tips after dinner. The hugs and smiles we received were so great! :)

[nynewfies]

Do you think by now the OP has gotten the idea? No piling on intended, but you can see by the sentiments expressed here not only why you should inform your waitstaff and table mates if you will be absent from a meal, but also the negative effect it has on everyone if you're late.

[KimiCLAS]

We have always told our waitstaff and tablemates that we will be dining in an alternative restaurant the following night (or on our last cruise we told them which night, specifically, we had chosen to eat at Chops) or that we would be slightly delayed - never more than 5-10 mintes though - which is a struggle for DH - he is always delayed because of some reason or another. We would never expect anyone to wait for us though. It is simply good manners.

[dc-snoopy]

One acceptable reason for being late is having photos taken on formal night. We got into line 35 min before dinner and were 10 min late. However, since we were with a group, we had informed several in our party and they knew where we were. They just ordered wine whlie they waited for us...I ordered wine with the appetizer and the asst waiter got it for us while the waiter got our appetizers.

 

If we hadn't been 3rd in line when dinner time came, one of us would have gone to the DR to let them know. If you are going to skip dinner and go to the WJ or order room service, one of you should go down and let the wait staff know. For that, one of you can go down to the DR while the other heads up to the WJ and the former will only be a little behind the latter. If you are just going to have room service, you can order and be down and back before dinner arrives.

[beachchick]

However, there are times when we might decide at the last minute that we just don't feel like doing the dining room. In that case, one of us will usually "pop in" to say, "we will be dining elsewhere tonight..." If we know we won't be eating in the dining room the following night (we often skip formal night), we will mention it the night before.

 

And please don't automatically condemn everyone who doesn't make it to dinner. The afternoon I broke my ankle in port, we didn't make it to the dining room. DH was with me in the medical center and then helping the steward move our stuff (our first and only inside cabin; the wheelchair I had to be in wouldn't fit through the door; lousy way to get an upgrade and we had to go home early). DH was far more concerned with me than worrying about the dining room, especially because they thought I had torn my achilles tendon and would need immediate surgery. It wasn't intentional, but we didn't tell anyone. Another time we got back to the ship late from the port (it was an overnight, so no "ship's going to leave, better rush back"). We missed dinner. It wasn't planned, it was just what happened. I don't think we should have been expected to go back to the ship to tell the waiter that we were staying on shore later. I know there are those among us who will think that both these "offenses" are just inexcusable. Fine. I simply don't agree. We do our best to be polite table mates, but things do happen sometimes.

 

beachchick

[Florida_cruisers]

Oh yes, I got the point across. I really did not realize that the waiters held on until we had a full table to order dinners. I thought that you ordered as you go. For some reason I did not notice this on the other two cruises we have been on (?)

 

The reason why we might be late to dinner on a few nights is because on our Mediterranean cruise there are a some ports where the ship leaves at 7-8pm and our dinner time is not until 6:30pm, so that throws us off. But what we will make sure to notify our tablemates and waiter that we will not be eating with them on those nights. Instead we will go to the Wyndjammer or the specialty restaurants.

[rmcg1975]

I hate lateness. Period.

 

We are actually not planning on eating in the dining room at all this next cruise (AOS May 05) so I guess it would be best to alert Guest Services of that fact, seeing we will not know who our waitstaff is or even the Head Waiter. I would think that Guest Services could then relay the message to the appropriate parties and therefore not hold anyone up. :)

[Schplinky]

Ok I'm going to risk it and play devils advocate!:eek:

I am typically an early person, however, I'm on vacation! If I decide not to come to dinner and eat in my room or somewhere else last minute how could I possibly let anyone know?

 

Could you phone the dining room?

[Schplinky]

I also find it amazing that ANYONE would think it rude that their tablemates went ahead an ordered if they were late. We certainly won't be waiting for people we don't know well enough to even predict if they will show up. Also, I think waiting for them just trains them to expect the same treatment all week.

[Onessa]

We've never been held up from ordering when our tablemates have been late. The waiter has asked if we want to wait, but we've always been given the option. If any late tablemate HAD ever expressed any displeasure that we had started "early", I would have indicated that we had been there at the stated dining time and had left it at that. I don't feel I need to pace my meal to compensate for their tardiness either. I will be especially certain to thank (and compensate) my waitstaff for the extra effort that they put in in these situations.

 

We will indicate w/o/n we will be dining on certain days to the wait staff or dining room staff, but I do not believe it is a social faux pax for those who not to do so.

 

It is time that we all take a deep breath and chant the mantra that we are responsible for our own happiness. If your tablemates are not ideal in some way, shape, or manner; do what you need to do to assure that you are doing what you feel is right. Don't let them spoil your meal - it is your choice if you let someone else's tardiness bother you.

[terri23]

I also find it amazing that ANYONE would think it rude that their tablemates went ahead an ordered if they were late. We certainly won't be waiting for people we don't know well enough to even predict if they will show up. Also, I think waiting for them just trains them to expect the same treatment all week.

 

Schplinky, usually the waiters won't take your order until everyone is seated. If your tablemates have the courtesy to tell you in advance they aren't coming, then you can go ahead and order. Otherwise, you have to wait...and wait...

[LJR213]

I agree with most of the above.....I just think it's plain rude. Maybe it's just because I am usually always on time. Yes, a fault some think I have but I hate to keep people waiting for me...

[critterchick]

Other people being late has never been an issue for us, I guess we're lucky. If we know we're going to eat elsewhere ahead of time, we let our waiter know. Sometimes we don't (know in advance), for example, when we were in Villefranche Sur Mer (ship didn't depart until 11pm) and decided to have a glass of wine overlooking the harbor. Then the bartender brought some wonderful salty olives that made us thirstier and we had to quench our thirst with something. At least we made it back to the ship on time!

 

I have to think that if you are waiting for some late arrivals, you can ask your waiter to go ahead and take your order after 10 minutes or so, particularly if you're trying to make it to a show later on. Would they really refuse?:confused: :confused: I know that it "inconveniences" them, but if you're the one who is on time, I don't think you're the cause of that inconvenience. Just MHO.

[swong13]

We were on Monarch of the the Seas last year. There was a large family group at the table for 10 next to us. They showed up 30-45 minutes late every night. The wait staff had to scramble like crazy to get them served and then set up for the late seating. The only night that they did not show up late was on the last night when tips are handed out to the wait staff. On the last night they didn't show up at all. Now THAT'S rude!

 

-Steven

[dc-snoopy]

As someone who is perennially late, I am rarely late for dinner on a cruise. Ted-time is normally about 10-15 minutes late for everything as I try to do too much of everything, but on a cruise, most of the over-stress, do-too-much problems are still waiting at home and not with me on the cruise. If I were to be late, however, I cannot imagine that the table would have waited and fully expect them to have started without me. I, personally, would order a glass of wine while waiting and after about 15 minutes, would ask to get started. If a late-comer was trying to catch up, I would encourage my wait staff to keep my meal coming at a reasonable pace in order for me to get out by a certain time. However, with the measured pace of dinner in the DR, I would expect that most people could catch up. I had one evening that I orderd three appetizers and a salad before the entree and due to the measured pace of dinner, I was only a few minutes behind the others for the entree. They took away my salad plate when they were serving the last entree to the others...and minutes later, I was joining them. The good wait staff will find a way to work it out and if not, the latecomers can only blame themselves for being so late (I would blame myself in their position...*AND* apologize profusely for causing the problem).

[aleone]

Wow - I really learned something from this post. My wife and I have never been late for dinner but we have skipped dinner in the dining room once in a while for various last minute reasons and never bothered to let anyone know. We just figured they would start without us. In the future, we will attempt to let someone know if we will be absent.

[WeBeCruisin']

As someone who is perennially late, I am rarely late for dinner on a cruise. ).

 

I think one of the new Mensa questions is:

 

A husband and wife have 8:30 late seating on their cruise. If the woman starts getting ready at 6:00 p.m. and the man starts getting ready at 8:00 p.m., how long will the man have to wait for the wife to finish? Thank God for the Martini Bar! :cool:

 

Allen

[wallie5446]

Allen, Are you attempting an early departure from this life !:D

[WeBeCruisin']

Allen, Are you attempting an early departure from this life !:D

 

I think I'm safe. My wife doesn't come into CC. If she does, though, I'm toast! :eek:

[DrD]

Ok I'm going to risk it and play devils advocate!:eek:

I am typically an early person, however, I'm on vacation! If I decide not to come to dinner and eat in my room or somewhere else last minute how could I possibly let anyone know? Furthermore, the whole idea of a cruise ship vacation is to be able to have a relaxed carefree time, not planning, not commitment etc.

Am I wrong? I really wouldn't be deliberately late but if I don't show up 1 or 2 nights please go ahead and order w/o me.

Maybe the wait staff should have a 10 min. wait time, or if you're more than a certain amount of time late then the doors close!!

 

 

Actually, you are. Although a cruise is care-free, the fact that you have an assigned table and assigned time to be there should imply that there is some commitment and planning. If you don't like that aspect of a cruise, there are several lines that have a more care-free system, like Princess with personal choice.

 

Those of us at the table wondering if you are showing up are also trying to enjoy our cruises.

[nynewfies]

Aleone makes a good - and honest - point by admitting that he has made the mistake of missing a meal with no notice in the past. But this was not out of carelessness of thoughtlessness - just ignorance. Some of the things you learn from the boards are not intuitive for everyone. Having seen the way people feel about this and the problems it causes for the dining room staff, Aleone won't make the mistake again. The OP at least asked the question - which was helpful for both the OP and at least one other person on the board who replied (and probably a lot of other people who didn't post a reply). That's one of the best things about these boards, IMO.

[aleone]

nynewfies - thank you for that gracious reply to my post. You said exactly what I feel. This board has been most helpful in many ways.