Pet Peeves

[centralcalicruzer]

There's a great book called "How not to look old" The author stresses moderation - a "too young" look is just as aging as a "too old" one.

 

I'll have to check that out, sounds like something I would relate to. As I stated somewhere else on this thread, it's a fine line between not dressing too "old" or too "young", especially when you are pretty tiny and Women's sizes just hang on you. Even petite women's are just made so boxy with the assumption that a woman in her 40's or 50's doesn't have a defined waistline anymore. Something like that adds about ten pounds visually, why would I want to do that? :) When I shop in the junior department, I am very careful about purchasing items that are more classic than trendy, like solid color neutral slacks, classic shirts and sweaters that are just a bit more "fitted" than women's sizes so they are more flattering on my body type. I don't wear designer labels at all, most of them are out of my price range. I shop at Kohl's, J.C. Penney, New York & Co, sometimes Macy's and even Target, I take good care of my clothes so even the less expensive ones last for years, and most people tell me I dress well. But I do live in a smallish farming community in central California and most of the circles I move in are just regular folks, teachers, lawyers, real estate agents, etc. and not necessarily high profile/ high income rollers. And I don't knock anyone who isn't interested in fashion, but I do think you can look neat and "put together" without spending a fortune or an inordinate amount of time.

[Deamagoli]

My pet peeve is when people berate or belittle me for having tattoos. On our last cruise I was cornered by a woman while with my daughters and told that I was setting a terrible example. She told me my daughters were going to grow up and be trash just like their mother. I stood there an took it gracefully because everyone is entitled to their opinion and I figured this was a good learning experience for my daughters (9 & 11). My daughters were very shaken by the experience and still don't understand why I didn't defend myself. I explained that if someone felt the need to berate someone like that in a public place in front of their children nothing I could say would change her mind and it may even make the situation worse. I hope i did the right thing. BTW, my tattoo is a memorial to my MIL and is very special to me.

[cruising cockroach]

On our last cruise I was cornered by a woman while with my daughters and told that I was setting a terrible example. She told me my daughters were going to grow up and be trash just like their mother. .

 

Was this woman much older, as in 60+? Tattoed women are so common now, anywhere from 20s to 40s and even 50s in some quarters, that one doesn't even bat an eyelid anymore.

 

I was in a (very middle-class, very ethnically northern European community of Canada) wine bar/art gallery and this woman in her at least mid to late 40s was showing her new tattoo (on a normally-hidden part of her body) to her friends, and anyone passing on front of the bar's glass window.

[TexasHorseLady]

There are so many that I agree with here. I don't think you have to be a fashionista to look decent. Just buy clothes that fit and flatter your body and you will be presentable, if you can't pull off trendy (I'm not crazy for trendy) go for classic.

 

My pet peeve has to be T shirts. To me they are a lazy way of getting dressed, male or female. Shapeless and cheap looking. They highlight big bellies on men, hard to tell if a person is male or female much of the time. I don't own even one, my husband has one for wearing to do yardwork.

 

I have a hard time with ill fitting jeans on women. With so much to choose from, why do women wear jeans so tight around the hips and create an extra lump from the rear view? Then, the flared legs with tight thighs? Why does anyone want to accentuate their hineys in such a negative way?

 

The weird part (to me) is I'm describing a major part of the US population. Why do people have such a "whatever?" attitude about their appearance?

 

I disagree with you about the t-shirts. I have some really cute ones with scoop neck or v necks, and many of them have embelishments (like tone on tone subtle embroidery, or pewter colored studs) around the neckline and sleeves. These t-shirts look great with khaki pants or white capris paired with cute coordinating sandals. My t shirts fit just right, never too tight or baggy. To say ALL t shirts are shapeless, sloppy, or that the wearer is lazy isn't accurate. I take a lot of time picking out these ultra cute t-shirts!

[Sinppu]

My pet peeve is when people berate or belittle me for having tattoos. On our last cruise I was cornered by a woman while with my daughters and told that I was setting a terrible example. She told me my daughters were going to grow up and be trash just like their mother. I stood there an took it gracefully because everyone is entitled to their opinion and I figured this was a good learning experience for my daughters (9 & 11). My daughters were very shaken by the experience and still don't understand why I didn't defend myself. I explained that if someone felt the need to berate someone like that in a public place in front of their children nothing I could say would change her mind and it may even make the situation worse. I hope i did the right thing. BTW, my tattoo is a memorial to my MIL and is very special to me.

 

Call me if this happens again. I don't have children (or shame) so I can defend you :D

[Deamagoli]

Was this woman much older, as in 60+? Tattoed women are so common now, anywhere from 20s to 40s and even 50s in some quarters, that one doesn't even bat an eyelid anymore.

 

I was in a (very middle-class, very ethnically northern European community of Canada) wine bar/art gallery and this woman in her at least mid to late 40s was showing her new tattoo (on a normally-hidden part of her body) to her friends, and anyone passing on front of the bar's glass window.

 

Actually she was quite a bit younger than I am. Maybe late 20's early 30's. I don't get why she was so offended, it's not like it's in an offensive place, it's between my shoulders.

I think Canadians are much more tolerant than we tend to be here in the states. We go to Toronto at least once a year because we love the city so much. I would have loved to see her showing off her tattoo.

I think they are beautiful, especially when they mean something to the person who is wearing it.

[Gathina]

We're talking about fashion pet peeves..not pet peeves about people looking at you.

 

I could care less about someone's tattoos, but in my opinion when one makes the choice to get one..no matter how tasteful or distaststeful..you kind of forfeit our right to complain about the other person. Something looks odd to me to see an impecabbly dressed woman in an evening gown and then glaring tattoos..or in formal wear, etc..

 

NOT saying this is you, but seriously..there are some people who get the majority of their body tattood and get upset when people stare at them. If you don't want people to stare at you, don't make yourself a target. Like, what were they thinking?

 

It's too bad that people judge you maybe the wrong way because of something that's special to you, but face it..in the real world, people do judge you by how your look. Eveyone does. Some just don't verbalize it. Fat people judge thin people, and on it goes.

 

My pet peeve is when people berate or belittle me for having tattoos. On our last cruise I was cornered by a woman while with my daughters and told that I was setting a terrible example. She told me my daughters were going to grow up and be trash just like their mother. I stood there an took it gracefully because everyone is entitled to their opinion and I figured this was a good learning experience for my daughters (9 & 11). My daughters were very shaken by the experience and still don't understand why I didn't defend myself. I explained that if someone felt the need to berate someone like that in a public place in front of their children nothing I could say would change her mind and it may even make the situation worse. I hope i did the right thing. BTW, my tattoo is a memorial to my MIL and is very special to me.

[Deamagoli]

@Gathina, while I agree with most of what you say. I do not think that my having a tattoo gives someone the right to say that I am a bad mother because of it. I love my tattoos and to be honest if someone is staring that them I assume they are admiring them. You would be surprised at how many of us who are tattoo'd would appreciate talking about them. I enjoy when people ask me what they mean, I'm happy to tell the stories. I also understand that people find them unattractive and offensive, but that doesn't give them the right to berate me in front of my children about them. I'm open to criticism from anyone, as long as it is given with respect. To be honest I'm not a fan of some tattoos myself & I do agree they don't go well with formal wear especially on the 40 & over set, which I belong to.

I hope you didn't think I was attacking your comment from earlier on the board, it just brought to mind the story I shared.

[Andee]

I don't care for tattoos--they just loook tacky to me--but I would NEVER say anything to someone who had one. There's no excuse for that kind of rudeness. And I wouldn't form a judgment about someone's parenting (or anything else) just because she had a tattoo.

[Deamagoli]

Sorry for bringing up the tattoo thing, I think of them as an accessory to be honest.

Back to the fun...

I'm not a fan of the super short shorts that let your butt cheeks hang out...That even goes for the ladies with the butts we all secretly admire.

[Happy ks]

Im not trying to defend what i like to wear.. Im just voicing my opinion for others. If I didnt post my age on here most of you wouldnt even know how old I was anyhow. Then this topic wouldnt matter. "Just for Men" can take care of the grey in my hair anyhow.. LOL.

 

 

FYI "Just For Men" is probably the worst thing you can color your hair with. Get it professionally done and...don't cover all the gray, that looks aging on men of any age or shape. Regrowth.

[Happy ks]

I disagree with you about the t-shirts. I have some really cute ones with scoop neck or v necks, and many of them have embelishments (like tone on tone subtle embroidery, or pewter colored studs) around the neckline and sleeves. These t-shirts look great with khaki pants or white capris paired with cute coordinating sandals. My t shirts fit just right, never too tight or baggy. To say ALL t shirts are shapeless, sloppy, or that the wearer is lazy isn't accurate. I take a lot of time picking out these ultra cute t-shirts!

 

 

I don't think I was very clear in my description of T shirts that I think are sloppy looking. Crew neck shirts that are shapeless on even a man, 10 times worse on a woman. There are times when I see a person in the distance and cannot tell if they are male or female because they are wearing a shapeless T, ill fitting jeans and sneakers. The look is lazy and sloppy to me. Still.

 

I wasn't referring to every knit shirt out there. I should have more clearly described what I meant weeks ago but never did. I own shirts that are made of the same fabric as crew neck shirts, but I don't consider them T shirts. I have tank tops, a couple V neck shirts for job #1, some long sleeved scoop neck shirts, no T shirts. I have a lot of different colors, most of them colors men aren't attracted to.

[Happy ks]

@Gathina, while I agree with most of what you say. I do not think that my having a tattoo gives someone the right to say that I am a bad mother because of it. I love my tattoos and to be honest if someone is staring that them I assume they are admiring them. You would be surprised at how many of us who are tattoo'd would appreciate talking about them. I enjoy when people ask me what they mean, I'm happy to tell the stories. I also understand that people find them unattractive and offensive, but that doesn't give them the right to berate me in front of my children about them. I'm open to criticism from anyone, as long as it is given with respect. To be honest I'm not a fan of some tattoos myself & I do agree they don't go well with formal wear especially on the 40 & over set, which I belong to.

I hope you didn't think I was attacking your comment from earlier on the board, it just brought to mind the story I shared.

 

 

I'm not a tatoo lover, but never in a million years would I consider being as rude as that woman was. I have seen some that are pretty and know people with tatoos that are very meaningful to them.

 

I hope your daughters understand that woman was completely out of line. Hopefully they learned a lesson in being graceful under the worst circumstances dealing with a horrid person. I'm so sorry that happened to you and your daughters.

[Deamagoli]

I'm not a tatoo lover, but never in a million years would I consider being as rude as that woman was. I have seen some that are pretty and know people with tatoos that are very meaningful to them.

 

I hope your daughters understand that woman was completely out of line. Hopefully they learned a lesson in being graceful under the worst circumstances dealing with a horrid person. I'm so sorry that happened to you and your daughters.

 

Thanks, I appreciate that. They said they were proud of me for holding my temper. You hate for things like to happen, but they do make good learning experiences.

[Deamagoli]

I like white hair on men. My husband started getting white at about 30. Just for men didn't work for him at all. Our hairdresser told him he looks better with the white. He felt better when mine got as white as his did. We both have black hair, we both still have more pepper than salt, but we may be losing that battle soon.

[Gathina]

Well , it wasn't nice at all and very rude.but the thing is, she does have a right to say and think the way she does..would you or I do it? No. But people are people and we have no control over what people are going to say about how we look or what we do. We can only control our reaction to it. Sadly, people have a right to be who they are whether we agree with their choices or not. Not even God can cross someone's free will.

 

No, I didn't think you were attacking my comment at all. You were very tactful :)

 

 

@Gathina, while I agree with most of what you say. I do not think that my having a tattoo gives someone the right to say that I am a bad mother because of it. I love my tattoos and to be honest if someone is staring that them I assume they are admiring them. You would be surprised at how many of us who are tattoo'd would appreciate talking about them. I enjoy when people ask me what they mean, I'm happy to tell the stories. I also understand that people find them unattractive and offensive, but that doesn't give them the right to berate me in front of my children about them. I'm open to criticism from anyone, as long as it is given with respect. To be honest I'm not a fan of some tattoos myself & I do agree they don't go well with formal wear especially on the 40 & over set, which I belong to.

I hope you didn't think I was attacking your comment from earlier on the board, it just brought to mind the story I shared.

[Hoyaheel]

she does have a right to say and think the way she does..

 

Everyone has a right to think whatever they want. They do not have the right to verbalize every thought they come up with:rolleyes: That's just beyond rude and hateful.

 

Short dresses.....I work at a university, full of 19 yr olds wearing things I can't imagine having worn myself at that age. Saw one girl waiting for the bus. Had a very cute dress on. Short, but not tight.....She turned around and I could see her underwear - because she had a backpack on that made the short dress pull up even shorter. Talk about needing to look in a full length mirror before leaving home in the morning:eek: Did she not feel the breeze? Yowza....Still was a very cute dress, and she looked great in it. But she should not have been wearing a backpack with it:o

[PurpleHays]

HoyaHeel--I think I work at that same university. It never amazes me to see what kids think looks good.

 

I hate tucking my shirts in because it makes my large-middle-age belly look even larger. I started tucking them in because carrying a backpack with my lunchbox and scrubs was causing the shirt to ride up. It was a struggle to keep pulling it down. Even dresses ride up--and mine are knee length.

[Deamagoli]

My daughters always joke that it's a shame that the person couldn't afford the rest of the skirt.

We were at a homecoming event at our university and there was a girl there who had on the shortest skirt I've ever seen. It looked like the very naughty school girl costume. She wore matching plaid underpants (not spankys btw) because she knew they would show. 12 years later and the guys still talk about "poke-a-hot-a**"...

[hbr777]

My major pet peeve: women who wear a tank top, like racer back, with a regular bra so that you see both straps loud and clear. What are they thinking?

[sherilyn70]

To be honest I'm not a fan of some tattoos myself & I do agree they don't go well with formal wear especially on the 40 & over set, which I belong to.

 

You know... I used to think that too about tattoos and formal wear. My first cruise I was so self conscious about the fact that my tattoo clearly showed with my strapless dress, but I received so many compliments about it that it quickly made me realize I was getting worked up over nothing.

 

A picture of me on my 41st birthday proudly showing off my tattoo with my dress. :)

[maxandmolly]

You know... I used to think that too about tattoos and formal wear. My first cruise I was so self conscious about the fact that my tattoo clearly showed with my strapless dress, but I received so many compliments about it that it quickly made me realize I was getting worked up over nothing.

 

A picture of me on my 41st birthday proudly showing off my tattoo with my dress. :)

 

Well I'm not quite 40 yet but unless I wear a VERY conservative formal or semi-formal there's really no way to cover the tattoo that takes up the top of my whole right shoulder! To be honest, I don't even really consider it when shopping, except if a dress cuts across it at a weird angle-because then I get stopped constantly being asked what it is, which gets annoying after the 4th or 5th time. I'd rather it just all, or nearly all show.

[jwolf24601]

1 Sagging Pants on boys, in prison that means you're looking for a bf... and no one wants to see your boxers.

2 Camisoles, if you're not comfortable enough in just the blouse as it was designed wear a different style blouse...flaunt what you've got while you've got it.

3 Capri's, make up your mind, wear shorts or pants...

4 Incorrect bathingsuit for body type. Speedos on fat guys, two piece on fat girls, etc...

5 Very general pet peeve, look at people of walmart website, if you see any of your outfits on there burn them...

 

This is from a man's point of view :P

[maxandmolly]

1 Sagging Pants on boys, in prison that means you're looking for a bf... and no one wants to see your boxers.

2 Camisoles, if you're not comfortable enough in just the blouse as it was designed wear a different style blouse...flaunt what you've got while you've got it.

3 Capri's, make up your mind, wear shorts or pants...

4 Incorrect bathingsuit for body type. Speedos on fat guys, two piece on fat girls, etc...

5 Very general pet peeve, look at people of walmart website, if you see any of your outfits on there burn them...

 

This is from a man's point of view :P

 

I vigorously object to #2. As a top heavy girl, a camisole underneath is the only way I can wear half the tops in my closet unless I want to dress like I'm 80.

[Swampbabe]

Some blouses ARE designed to be worn with a camisole. :rolleyes: