Mid 30's gay couple sailing on HAL? Thoughts?

[shepp]

We are new to this cruising thing, and we're beginning to think we should cancel and try something else. Being stuck in the middle of the Pacific for 19 days with a bunch of older, less progressive couples who all go to bed at 10 doesn't sound like the best way to celebrate 10 years together....

 

Here's the thing. You'll be onboard with a whole small town of random individuals. And every small town has its weirdos...including us.

 

I'm from San Francisco, define myself as queer and somewhat radical, and live a block away from the main street of the City's hipster district. And every time I first board a ship - every time - I look around and ask myself, "What am I doing with these people?" But I've learned to view the first couple of days as a time to interview potential cruise buddies, and there are lots of opportunities: meet and greets, meals, trivia, gym classes, etc. I've learned, in fact, to be perfectly friendly to people I never want to see again; it's a cruise-derived skill for me. And every time, me and my honey end up making friends we love spending the cruise with, some of whom we've maintained friendships with post-disembarkation. Every time.

 

Many of our best cruise buds have been straight. Age? Last time we hung out with one male couple in their 70s, another in their 30s, but most of the time we spent with queer-friendly hets. A couple of our favorite straight couples from cruises past were pushing 80, while, as far as I can tell, the perceptible antigay stuff on that one HAL cruise was coming from people in their 30s or 40s.

 

I applauded aebi46 because that's the way my honey and I behave, too. We do whatever straight couples do, and if some people don't like seeing us slow dance, they can just look the other way. Not reining ourselves in not only makes us feel better about ourselves, I believe it helps attract the people we'll want to hang out with. E.g., at one Cruise Critic meet and greet, one straight woman asked, "Do you play trivia? I need some gay guys on my team." That not only led to a winning team, but a splendid onboard friendship we're still maintaining on these boards. We've celebrated our anniversaries in the dining room. Some people come up and congratulate us, some don't. C'est la vie.

 

Have we had people absent themselves from our (assigned) dinner table on thin pretexts? Well, yes. On the other hand, a very butch Alsakan we dined with on our last cruise - whom we initially thought would be totally incompatible - turned out to be a friendly delight.

 

All that having been said, starting out on a 19-dayer with lots of sea days might be diving in with both feet. (And you're not going to find a young-skewing crowd on that itinerary, whatever the line.) Maybe trying a shorter cruise from LA would be a way to tell whether cruising is for you without gambling quite so much. And there are delightful 10-night Alaska roundtrips from San Francisco on Princess that tend to attract a lot of über-tolerant Bay Area folks. That way you can save that long Pacific journey for your 15th.

[cavecreekguy]

Shepp, what a great post!

 

I've mostly been on 7 day cruises, but did one 10 day TA on Crystal, so I've not been on a truly long itinerary where the age skews.

 

But on all of those cruises, there have been other gay couples, and straight couples of all ages that couldn't care less that we were gay. They were just good people who appreciated our good nature and trivia prowess!

[World Member]

Freedom Seeker My partner and i are doing Sydney to Honolulu via New Zealand and Tahiti On Celebrity Solstice April 2014 for 18 days check that cruise out Steve

[keithm]

I wish I could be as bold.....but over in the celebrity forum, I asked about being 40 something on a longer cruise, and whether I and my partner would fit in.....it caused some discussion of how shallow the younger crowd is perceived to be....and I don't think my question helped allay that perception:(

 

What I didn't say over there was "PS we're also GAY and 40".

 

We are new to this cruising thing, and we're beginning to think we should cancel and try something else. Being stuck in the middle of the Pacific for 19 days with a bunch of older, less progressive couples who all go to bed at 10 doesn't sound like the best way to celebrate 10 years together....

 

I know that I should care less what others think, but I also know that I couldn't tolerate the cold shoulder from a whole ship for three weeks, especially when paying a small fortune for the privilege of being there.

 

Is there a different cruise line that does Honolulu to Sydney as an itinerary that would skew younger? Or is Celebrity or Princess (the ones I've seen) the sum total?

 

Sorry if this hijacks the HAL thread at all, but I think I'm being at least tangential, not completely OT.

 

Mike

I think Shep said it fine: A ship is like a floating city. You'll meet all kinds on board. You really shouldn't have issues. To be on board for 19 days means this ship will have a fairly affluent crowd. I'd like to think that they would be a bit more worldly, than say a Bahamabamma beach slammer.(say that one fast)which would have a fairly new to the cruiseing scene crowd. Many of the folks on a longer cruise are pretty well seasoned. At dinner you could either do a table for 2, or ask the Maitre D to seat you at a samesex table. It can be done, as we have friends who do just that.

[FreedomSeeker]

Freedom Seeker My partner and i are doing Sydney to Honolulu via New Zealand and Tahiti On Celebrity Solstice April 2014 for 18 days check that cruise out Steve

 

Thanks for the tip.

 

Unfortunately, the timing is off for when we can do our trip.:(

[FreedomSeeker]

I think Shep said it fine: A ship is like a floating city. You'll meet all kinds on board. You really shouldn't have issues. To be on board for 19 days means this ship will have a fairly affluent crowd. I'd like to think that they would be a bit more worldly, than say a Bahamabamma beach slammer.(say that one fast)which would have a fairly new to the cruiseing scene crowd. Many of the folks on a longer cruise are pretty well seasoned. At dinner you could either do a table for 2, or ask the Maitre D to seat you at a samesex table. It can be done, as we have friends who do just that.

 

Shepp, Keithm, Cavecreekguy:

 

All of your posts help! I talked this all out with Ed (or on here I think he's to be called DH?), and we decided to stop worrying. Mainly because of the second paragraph of Shepp's post - we realized that we spend too much energy thinking everyone else has it together and that no-one else ever thinks "what am I doing with these people?".

 

We decided that, given we are funny, educated, reasonably affluent people, and that we have many many friends in both the gay and straight communities, of all ages, that we should be able to rinse and repeat that experience any darn place we choose to go.

 

Including a ship.

 

To borrow Shepp's self-described identity, if a radical queer hipster from the Bay Area can do it, so can a couple of boring, conventional suburbanite gayboys from Santa Clarita.:D

 

Of course, we might get cold feet again, but it's nice to know there is positive affirmation available on these boards.

 

 

I can't say "bahamabama beach slammer" slowly, let alone fast. It makes my mouth go mushy.

[shepp]

To borrow Shepp's self-described identity, if a radical queer hipster from the Bay Area can do it, so can a couple of boring, conventional suburbanite gayboys from Santa Clarita.:D

 

Omigod, Santa Clarita is like Jerusalem for us. We headed down there in June for our annual coaster pilgrimage, only to be stymied when Six Flags Magic Mountain didn't open Lex Luthor's Drop of Doom on schedule. We did get in some great ride time on X2, though. (Like I said, for men in our 60s, weirdos.)

 

And when we head over to Town Center for our refueling stop at Sweet Tomatoes, the Sea Witch logo is hovering in the sky atop the Princess offices. Like I said, Jerusalem.

 

Oh, and since we got shafted by Prop 8, I can't refer to my honey as my "DH." I tried DRDP (Darling Registered Domestic Partner), but for some reason it didn't catch on. ;)

[FreedomSeeker]

Omigod, Santa Clarita is like Jerusalem for us. We headed down there in June for our annual coaster pilgrimage, only to be stymied when Six Flags Magic Mountain didn't open Lex Luthor's Drop of Doom on schedule. We did get in some great ride time on X2, though. (Like I said, for men in our 60s, weirdos.)

 

And when we head over to Town Center for our refueling stop at Sweet Tomatoes, the Sea Witch logo is hovering in the sky atop the Princess offices. Like I said, Jerusalem.

 

Oh, and since we got shafted by Prop 8, I can't refer to my honey as my "DH." I tried DRDP (Darling Registered Domestic Partner), but for some reason it didn't catch on. ;)

 

Small world! DH and I eat at Souplantation/Sweet Tomatoes at least every other Sunday, right there by the Sea Witch. I always find it a little odd to see the Cunard name up there too, being I'm an import from the UK. Cunard having offices in Valencia, CA just doesn't seem right.

 

I haven't been to Six Flags MM in years - something to do with the unwritten universal law of tourism - when you live nearby, you don't go. when you have to travel, you do......

 

DH isn't legally DH because of that stupid Prop 8, but our entire family, work colleagues and friends all know he's mu hubby. So DH it is.

[keithm]

Omigod, Santa Clarita is like Jerusalem for us. We headed down there in June for our annual coaster pilgrimage, only to be stymied when Six Flags Magic Mountain didn't open Lex Luthor's Drop of Doom on schedule. We did get in some great ride time on X2, though. (Like I said, for men in our 60s, weirdos.)

 

And when we head over to Town Center for our refueling stop at Sweet Tomatoes, the Sea Witch logo is hovering in the sky atop the Princess offices. Like I said, Jerusalem.

 

Oh, and since we got shafted by Prop 8, I can't refer to my honey as my "DH." I tried DRDP (Darling Registered Domestic Partner), but for some reason it didn't catch on. ;)

Shep, you ride a lot of coasters. we have a guy here in NH(named Paul Coulomb)goes all over the country with a group of coaster fanatics.

[shepp]

Shep, you ride a lot of coasters. we have a guy here in NH(named Paul Coulomb)goes all over the country with a group of coaster fanatics.

 

That's probably ACE. (There's also the Coaster Bears, who are what they sound like.)

 

I actually haven't ridden that many coasters compared to lots of folks: I'm only up to something like 150.

 

Speaking of HAL, we rode a wooden coaster (now defunct) near Fort Lauderdale that held the Guinness record for the oldest trainload of riders. There was a really cute photo of a bunch of grinning 70- and 80-somethings all strapped in and ready to ride. I'm sure they had a tale to tell when they got back to Assisted Living.

[wesport]

My partner and I have sailed HAL 6 times and have never had any problems. Crew members have always been gracious and friendly. We have always met friends at the LGBT get togethers and had dinner with each other during the cruise.

[tim agg]

Having read through this entire thread, I had second thoughts of adding anything, given its interesting tangents and arguments but, having recently clicked over 300 days with HAL I figure I should comment.....in 1994, on our first HAL cruise while in my mid-40's, I decided that it was fun to be addressed as "sonny;" nearly 20 years later I still enjoy it! .... fortunately, I like to do most of my socializing before 10 pm so never notice when the bars close....we find gay HAL crew to be increasingly, if mostly cautiously, open....the few conservative and complainer pax are awful but we remind ourselves how much more expensive cruises would be if they were all kept ashore....we like the daily LGBT meets in the Crow's Nest as well as hanging out in the Ocean Bar, and never fail to find people - lgbt and straight - that we like....HAL is not for everyone but for us, it brings 2-3 days worth of R&R for every day on board.

[keithm]

That's probably ACE. (There's also the Coaster Bears, who are what they sound like.)

 

I actually haven't ridden that many coasters compared to lots of folks: I'm only up to something like 150.

 

Speaking of HAL, we rode a wooden coaster (now defunct) near Fort Lauderdale that held the Guinness record for the oldest trainload of riders. There was a really cute photo of a bunch of grinning 70- and 80-somethings all strapped in and ready to ride. I'm sure they had a tale to tell when they got back to Assisted Living.

Only 150! It's like pulling teeth to get Richard on one,especially either the old wooden ones, or the ones where you flip over.

[bigbenboys]

We have 65 day on HAL. And yes people are older and longer cruises you will get older people. We do more RCL and Celebrity. We love the perks we get. As to Princess and HAL, they are both owned by Carnival. They both are going for a different market. We have never had a problem being a gay couple on any of ours cruises. Richard

[All aboard??]

Well I am 32 and doing a 19 night on HAL in three weeks time.....solo.

 

I don't care for public opinion, I don't care for societies approval, I live my life as I want. Gay jokes do not offend me, and neither do ones about catholic priests.

 

Myself and Jack can make a party, and if there is a gin guzzling, roulette playing 70 year old grandmother onboard I have all the company I need.

 

Life is what people make of it, not what they expect it to be.

[FreedomSeeker]

Well I am 32 and doing a 19 night on HAL in three weeks time.....solo.

 

I don't care for public opinion, I don't care for societies approval, I live my life as I want. Gay jokes do not offend me, and neither do ones about catholic priests.

 

Myself and Jack can make a party, and if there is a gin guzzling, roulette playing 70 year old grandmother onboard I have all the company I need.

 

Life is what people make of it, not what they expect it to be.

 

I wish I was that evolved. In society in general, I agree that life is what you make it. But living in a society that is slowly evolving in its attitude towards homosexuality, we make choices about where to live, who we associate with etc to make life the way we want it. A cruise ship is a microcosm of larger society, so I think it's legitimate to ask whether others have experienced longer cruises, or particular cruise lines, to be a microcosm that is, say, closer to West Hollywood than West Virginia in its prevailing attitude.

 

The answer should not prevent anyone from going anywhere, but at least they'll be better prepared for what they find when they get there.

[shepp]

I don't care for societies approval, I live my life as I want. Gay jokes do not offend me, and neither do ones about catholic priests.

 

Gay jokes per se sure don't offend me - not even the really offensive ones. But I'd maintain there's a significant difference between going to hear Kathy Griffin or Lisa Lampanelli playing to a mixed audience, and being blindsided by some comic in a ship's showroom where I might well be the only queer (or half of the only queer couple) in attendance. In one instance, I'm laughing with someone I know is ultimately on my side, no matter how much she may dish homos. In the other, I feel singled out, isolated, even invisabalized.

 

I have been on several mixed cruises on which straight (or not-so-straight) comics made jokes at gay men's expense. OK, the gags weren't outright homophobic, but neither were they pro-gay. What I don't ever expect to hear on a cruise is a joke that's even remotely disparaging of Catholic priests. Nor one (on a mixed cruise) that mocks homophobes...or racists or anti-Semites, for that matter.

[keithm]

Gay jokes per se sure don't offend me - not even the really offensive ones. But I'd maintain there's a significant difference between going to hear Kathy Griffin or Lisa Lampanelli playing to a mixed audience, and being blindsided by some comic in a ship's showroom where I might well be the only queer (or half of the only queer couple) in attendance. In one instance, I'm laughing with someone I know is ultimately on my side, no matter how much she may dish homos. In the other, I feel singled out, isolated, even invisabalized.

 

I have been on several mixed cruises on which straight (or not-so-straight) comics made jokes at gay men's expense. OK, the gags weren't outright homophobic, but neither were they pro-gay. What I don't ever expect to hear on a cruise is a joke that's even remotely disparaging of Catholic priests. Nor one (on a mixed cruise) that mocks homophobes...or racists or anti-Semites, for that matter.

I always remember Rosanne Barr: "Thank God for those gay men, if not for them, us fat women would have no one to dance with"

[DDAYNE]

Well I am 32 and doing a 19 night on HAL in three weeks time.....solo.

 

I don't care for public opinion, I don't care for societies approval, I live my life as I want. Gay jokes do not offend me, and neither do ones about catholic priests.

 

Myself and Jack can make a party, and if there is a gin guzzling, roulette playing 70 year old grandmother onboard I have all the company I need.

 

Life is what people make of it, not what they expect it to be.

 

Still don't have our suite assignment (SZ GTY), but don't fret - drinks will be waiting 16SEP & especially 19SEP (my bday!)

[All aboard??]

Still don't have our suite assignment (SZ GTY), but don't fret - drinks will be waiting 16SEP & especially 19SEP (my bday!)

 

I will bring Jack, and hopefully a 70 yo gin guzzling, roulette playing grandmother....;)

[bapdallas]

7:30 Midnight buffet

 

I love a good buffet :rolleyes:

[DDAYNE]

I will bring Jack, and hopefully a 70 yo gin guzzling, roulette playing grandmother....;)

 

The more, the MARY-er!

[DDAYNE]

I will bring Jack, and hopefully a 70 yo gin guzzling, roulette playing grandmother....;)

 

 

Let me know ur cabin # so I can find u when we embark on the 16th. (hoping to upgrade to Deluxe Suite next week!) Also, did u book a Retreat Cabana? If so which one? Was gonna book one, but with such a port intensive trip (& we have never done the Med) I figured I would just do by the day & hope one is still available when I embark!

 

Bon voyage, soon. (14 more sleeps, I think.)

[DDAYNE]

I will bring Jack, and hopefully a 70 yo gin guzzling, roulette playing grandmother....;)

 

Duane

 

Email me ur cabin #. (I'm in LA on biz trp & won't be back on here til after u leave.)

 

dayne.duvall@gmail.com

[dx672]

My partner and I feel more comfortable on HAL compared to other cruise lines. The guests are much more sophisticated and seem to be more friendly. I enjoy taking cruises but sometimes when I take a cheaper cruise, on other lines, I feel there is more ignorance and less sophistication. With that in mind if the cruise costs more regardless the cruise line you'll find a better class of people. I don't mean to pre judge but I have often felt less comfortable on cheaper cruises. For example we took a Royal Caribbean cruise last week and we got a great deal for a 4 day cruise to the Bahamas. We ended up spending 129$ each. Unfortunately I felt that our dinning guests were not friendly and they ignored us. It made the total experience not so great. It wasn't the fault of Royal Caribbean it's just that I personally would not recommend cheap cruises.

 

I hope that help

 

Daniel