Teen "house arrest" on the Oasis

[Lady Chew]

Sorry? Did I mention my kids were "perfect"? Far from! ;) But I also know my kids... 14 yr old chose to be home schooled since he is far more mature than his school mates and doesn't give into peer pressure. My daughter (9yrs old), the social butterfly, is a "people pleaser" and is devastated when disciplined.

Please don't jump to conclusions as I do know my kids better than you. I do know that if given the chance, ALL kids will try to push the limits. (I, too, was a kid once! :D)

All I was trying to say is that I want my fellow cruisers to know that my kids will be monitored and not given the opportunity to ruin your vacation with late night announcements. In fact, I use these stories of bad behavior to remind my kids what can happen if they do something irresponsible. It's a good reminder for me as a parent too!

 

Hope this is made clear. :)

 

Oh, no, so sorry ... I was not directing my comments at you or your kids.

There are just so many people on these boards, or that we've met in "real life" that are so convinced their kids have never snuck out or done whatever-it-is-the-parents-have-forbidden ... your kids are too young for that, anyway! :)

 

I'm wondering if, at the same time that we are signing a form saying we don't have runny noses, if it would help to have both parents and teens sign a "contract" stating that they are fully aware of the curfew, and understand that both the parents and the teen will face consequences if the teen breaks curfew. I KNOW it's almost impossible to enforce all the time, and most people are aware of the curfew already, but there are those who might just take their parenting responsibility a bit more seriously if they know THEY will feel the impact on their vacation if their teen is out of control. Maybe a little reinforcement of that point is needed in these days of highly populated ships.

 

I don't know where it would be now, but sometime since I joined CC someone has posted a contract they wrote & used with their kids, stating the expected behavior and the consequences for violations. There's no reason you couldn't write your own. (I would suggest that you do a search for it, but I think the search function is pretty much useless.)

[BGCruiser85]

This post is getting good now that the CC/RC Heavyweights have started to comment.

 

Dont' anger them....

 

Wow, I really need to find that 'ignore'. Ahhh, there it is.

[WpgCruise]

Wow, I really need to find that 'ignore'. Ahhh, there it is.

 

One of the best features of this Forum.

[RazorbackIslandGirl]

All kids are kids & do stupid stuff BUT that is why parenting is so important! My kids cruised at 15. Neither were allowed to stay out until 1am! I don't care what the ship curfew is. (and trust me that was NOT a popular decision!) When we went to the room for the night so did they. They never had their own room & we had to know where they were at all times! If they were not where they were supposed to be... I put them on house arrest! I didn't reward bad behavior. But as a parent, you have to be willing to take the time out of YOUR vacation to keep tabs on them & check up on them. Parenting is not for the faint at heart!;)

[MrsPete]

Random thoughts:

 

I'd love to sail with this captain sometime. His punishment was perfect. The kid and his parents disrupted 8000 people's vacation. The kid's vacation deserves to be ended, and the parents need to spend some quality time with him.

 

Bet it wasn't much fun in that cabin.

 

Some people said the crew wasn't enforcing the curfew. False. Suppose he stayed out 'til midnight, then he went into a cabin. The crew has no reason to stop him and ask, "Is this your cabin? Is this where you belong?"

 

His parents may have been duped (i.e., he was there when they went to sleep, gone when they woke up), but that sounds unlikely. While none of us are in a position to know with 100% accuracy, the most likely scenerio is that his parents went to sleep not knowing where he was.

 

Since he was found in another person's cabin, I strongly suspect it was a cabin made up of only teenagers -- no adult supervision. Yes, we all know that lots of people book an adult in each cabin, then rearrange the sleepers to suit their needs once they're on board. That's not looking like such a smart idea right now.

 

As for kids going into other people's cabins, I don't understand it. We've always discussed that as a safety rule -- an absolutely unbreakable rule. No, my kids aren't perfect, but they do understand that although I might give in and give them more money or not be angry about their shoes being left all over the cabin . . . I would be livid if they broke a safety rule. I've always had the impression that other people had the same rule 1) because it's been discussed on this board frequently, and 2) no cruise-friend has ever had a problem with my kids' restriction, nor has any cruise-friend ever wanted to come into our cabin. I thought the "don't go into other people's cabins" thing was just something that reasonable parents set forth as a rule.

 

As adults, we can decide whether it's okay to go into a new aquaintance's cabin, but that's not a decision for a child to make.

 

I have seen entirely too many teens running around unsupervised onboard. Not large numbers, but enough to be a bother. On our last cruise a bunch liked hanging out in the stairwells. On another cruise they were up at the pools late at night standing on the handrails doing flips into the pools -- very dangerous, a good way to break your neck.

 

Finally, just supppose -- thank God it didn't happen -- just suppose the boy hadn't been found, and it'd been determined that he had gone overboard. It could've happened. The cabin had good reason to wake everyone up, and when he found out it was for a careless, juenvile reason . . . he had good reason to be angry.

[grand isle joe]

......Call Time magazine.....I nominate the Captain for "Person of the Year"...

[How'sBartCruisin'?]

This post is getting good now that the CC/RC Heavyweights have started to comment.

Dont' anger them....

 

Post total increased by one...congratulations.

[JLC@SD]

Let the kid have fun. He's 15, on holiday and having a good time. Im sure we all ventured into other peoples "cabins" when we were that age!

 

When a person "disappears" on a ship to have "fun"........and is reported missing ......what do you think the parents and Captain have to assume ....

 

He went overboard ....... and the Captain must assume the worst.

 

We had a girl "disappear" .... to have the "fun" that you think they should have .......and the Captain had to turn the ship around to search ...... before she finally reappeared.

[vavasmom]

O

I don't know where it would be now, but sometime since I joined CC someone has posted a contract they wrote & used with their kids, stating the expected behavior and the consequences for violations. There's no reason you couldn't write your own. (I would suggest that you do a search for it, but I think the search function is pretty much useless.)

 

This is mine from 2009

 

http://www.boards.cruisecritic.com/showpost.php?p=18656290&postcount=5

 

It was controversial then but still comes up from time to time. DD is almost 17 now. The only time she missed her curfew on the ship was as described by someone else - she lost track of time playing cards in an area with no clock. I found her about 1:20 - 1:30. She now walks herself back to the cabin but the other rules are essentially the same

 

I have also been in the Solarium when security was looking for a missing person (adult in this case) a little after 2am

[CocaCola19]

Actually, bajathree's explanation is completely plausible where as yours lacks a sense of what happens with teens on board. RoofingPrincess is on the money and I would suggest you either don't have teen cruisers or if you do, start paying attention.

 

 

Well it seems you mis understood what I am saying so let me clarify. I should have said REASONABLE instead of POSSIBLE/PLAUSABLE (whatever I said). I'm saying the excuse part of "innocence" is not and should not be an excuse for the behavior. I know it happens.. kids are impulsive and can easily choose to do unsafe behavior without thinking things through. I know from personal experience. It is the responsibility of parents to educate their teens that just because they THINK they are the greatest friends with other teens on the ship it is NOT not acceptable to enter the room of these other teens. Parents should set the rules, expectations, and consequences of behavior prior to even stepping on board. I was responding to the person making excuses that it was all "innocent" fun when it actually is very dangerous for teens to enter the rooms of other teens that they barely know. I think it is pisspoor parenting to make excuses for their kids to enter room of practical strangers. I think it is good for teens to meet people and hang out in public spaces. Maybe there should be a "all night" club that has entrance and exiting monitored by staff with sign in and sign out rules (also with parental permission only) since there seems to be a population of people who have an issue with the curfew. I'm not one of them but business decisions are based on the majority of demands by the buyer. RCCL is out to make a profit and meet the demands of its family friendly cruise line.

 

No I am not the parent of a teen... just the big sister to 5 of them.. Oh and I still remember what it was like to be one. Do you?

[CocaCola19]

Actually, plenty of teens can and do make friends that quickly. And if their parents haven't thought ahead and told them not to go to someone else's cabin AND not to allow other people in their cabin, especially when the teens are booked into their own cabin, this can occur.

 

Yes, I should have said I don't find the excuse of innocence as REASONABLE not, possible. You are right..if parents don't set the rules, and consequences this does happen. While teens think they are making friends so quickly they are really aquaintances and should NOT be entering into the cabin of others. All it takes is just one nut on a cruise ship of 8000 for this to be a tragedy. Nuts come in all ages so I will never agree with a teen going into a cabin of another teen they just met.

[CocaCola19]

or maybe they were all perfect and never did anything stupid!

 

 

Or we all did stupid stuff and are lucky to be alive. I did A LOT as a teenager, but if I had done this my parents wouldn't need RCCL to lock me down... they would have done it themselves.

[Classynfun1]

Are you serious:rolleyes:...I have been invited into peoples cabins who I only met hours before ...and on the very first evening of sailings....and on more than one occasion.

 

Funny! A lot of us were in your cabin/on your balcony last cruise on the first sail away! (huge thank you again for that!):-) In fact, I think a majority of people of this board have been o other's cabins for a sail away, cabin crawl, etc. If we do, you know kids do too!

[iheartbda]

I don't find your explanation possible. First, people are on a cruise ship for days... that is not enough time to become "friends" enough to enter another person's cabin. Second, had they been traveling with friends from home they would have checked that cabin first without notifying RCCL. There isn't innocent here. The kid was where he shouldn't have been at a time he should have not been out, and he caused A LOT of grief and concern for the crew plus his parents. I think the Captain did the appropriate thing even if the kid was stone cold sober.

Just quoting you so the next quote by bajathree is clear about what they are saying.

 

Are you serious:rolleyes:...I have been invited into peoples cabins who I only met hours before ...and on the very first evening of sailings....and on more than one occasion.

 

Big difference between adults visiting another cabin and a teenager whose parents did not know where he was. Were you there til 4AM, someone did not know where you were, was worried and made it necessary for the captain to wake up the whole ship? You're comparing apples to oranges.;)

 

For anyone who thinks the captain was too harsh, the captain is resposible for all persons on board and makes the decision as to what's appropriate, punishment in this case, for any given situation. Apparently, this captain felt in house arrest was the proper thing to do.

 

All those taking umbrage against those who feel the parents were lacking in some way, it is also apparent the captain felt the same way when he asked parents to parent their children.

[GGBNJ130]

Let's get realistic here, the kid probably met a hottie and didn't wanna leave her. Even adult guys now, if you meet a female, and your having fun, and she asks you to hang out w/ her longer, are you gonna say "No, I got my own adult curfew I gotta follow", HECK NO! Your gonna stay w/ her until she kicks ya out! I'm willing to gamble this is what happened in this 15 yo dude's case, and I understand lil buddy!

 

Being 33 YO now, ugh., on my upcoming cruise in -17 days, I will be traveling with 3 x 50+ yo's...I'm praying, praying, I meet someone on the cruise to hang out with, if not, i'll be sipping martinis and whatever else at the pool and/or piano bars!

[PLEIKU68]

This is mine from 2009

 

http://www.boards.cruisecritic.com/showpost.php?p=18656290&postcount=5

 

It was controversial then but still comes up from time to time. DD is almost 17 now. The only time she missed her curfew on the ship was as described by someone else - she lost track of time playing cards in an area with no clock. I found her about 1:20 - 1:30. She now walks herself back to the cabin but the other rules are essentially the same

 

I have also been in the Solarium when security was looking for a missing person (adult in this case) a little after 2am

 

 

 

Excellent !!!!!

[luvdisney2010]

all kids are kids & do stupid stuff but that is why parenting is so important! My kids cruised at 15. Neither were allowed to stay out until 1am! I don't care what the ship curfew is. (and trust me that was not a popular decision!) when we went to the room for the night so did they. They never had their own room & we had to know where they were at all times! If they were not where they were supposed to be... I put them on house arrest! I didn't reward bad behavior. But as a parent, you have to be willing to take the time out of your vacation to keep tabs on them & check up on them. Parenting is not for the faint at heart!;)

 

 

like!!!

[LA_CA_GAL]

When a person "disappears" on a ship to have "fun"........and is reported missing ......what do you think the parents and Captain have to assume ....

 

He went overboard ....... and the Captain must assume the worst.

 

 

Really?:eek:

 

I would assume that the 15 YO hooked up with some other teens and was in a cabin.

 

And I would wager it happens often.

[bajathree]

Funny! A lot of us were in your cabin/on your balcony last cruise on the first sail away! (huge thank you again for that!):-) In fact, I think a majority of people of this board have been o other's cabins for a sail away, cabin crawl, etc. If we do, you know kids do too!

 

That was a GREAT sailaway:)

 

Yes....kids are in other kids cabins even more than adults....my DD's have brought many of her friends to our cabins during sailings....it happens all the time.

[bajathree]

Just quoting you so the next quote by bajathree is clear about what they are saying.

 

 

 

Big difference between adults visiting another cabin and a teenager whose parents did not know where he was. Were you there til 4AM, someone did not know where you were, was worried and made it necessary for the captain to wake up the whole ship? You're comparing apples to oranges.;)

 

For anyone who thinks the captain was too harsh, the captain is resposible for all persons on board and makes the decision as to what's appropriate, punishment in this case, for any given situation. Apparently, this captain felt in house arrest was the proper thing to do.

 

All those taking umbrage against those who feel the parents were lacking in some way, it is also apparent the captain felt the same way when he asked parents to parent their children.

 

 

I will tell you a quick little story.....was on Oasis back in Feb...we left Falmouth....I was dining with 2 friends (that I just meet on that sailing) in Izumi at about 8PM. We hear a few announcements from the captain looking for a guy name Steve from deck such and such.....hhhhmmmm...that is my name, so that's why it caught my attention. About a half hour after the last announcement the Mgr from Izumi comes to my table and asks my name and stateroom #....didn't think it was for anything else but billing reasons.....well 10 minutes latter security comes walking into the restaurant and asks for my sea pass card....at this point you can hear a pin drop in the restaurant...and the people I was dining with thought the worst:eek:....security handed my card back .....said thank you....and walked away wishing me a very good night and the restaurant comped us all desert.

 

Next day I found out a wife reported her husband missing after Falmouth....his first name was the same as mine and they did a photo-recognition of him and my picture came up.....and the fact I was dining with 2 women probably gave them more suspicion...l..I was told it ended up being a "domestic dispute" case and the husband when found reportedly said he was in the theater and didn't hear any messages. So this thing also happens with adults....and I will bet more than one may think;)

[galavant3]

Really?:eek:

 

I would assume that the 15 YO hooked up with some other teens and was in a cabin.

 

And I would wager it happens often.

 

A couple of cruises ago an adult (33 year old female) was reported missing. After several attempts to locate her the captain came on and said it was protocol to turn the ship around and head back to the last port. He was not too pleased when the woman turned up in someone else's cabin. So, even though they know what is "likely" they still have to go through the motions and acknowledge that someone might have gone overboard. Needless to say, the comedian had a field day since the whole ship knew her name, age and physical description.

 

On this same cruise a teen was also missing. When asked, the captain said no punishment would be levied against the child because her parents were taking care of that. He would not comment on the 33 year old.

[matj2000]

Post total increased by one...congratulations.

 

So did yours...

[keishashadow]

Sorry but I disagree. If you have ever had teenagers and they always did exactly what you told them to do then we must give you the "super parent of the world" prize. I do not know what happened and neither does anyone else and I totally agree with the captain's actions but to automatically blame the parents for bad parenting is extremely unfair. Kids often make bad choices. It is part of being a kid and unless the parents were permanently attached to this kid with a very long cord there is no way that they could oversee him every moment. If, they did tell him to be in by 1 AM and he did not show up as instructed I fail to see why the parents are at fault, As I said none of us know what happened and unless we do heaping blame on the heads of the parents for stupid behavior by a 15 year old is very unfair.

 

Can't say it's unfair when adults agree to be responsible for minors in their cabins via the cruise contract.

 

I'm not sure how it works in international waters, but in many US states parents are responsible for the actions of 'their' minor charges when they break the law. Can range from simple fines for themselves and their kids on upward based upon the severity and pattern of infranctions. Negligence charge can be filed on parents, which can lead to civil suits and even jail time for parents in extreme cases of gross negligence.

 

my middle DS was more than a handful, challenged us on many occasions but we kept firm with enforcing our house rules despite it being inconvenient at times. He eventually 'got it' and now is in law enforcement and gets to deal with other people's errant little darlings;)

[Aquahound]

I said it before and I will say it again....no kid is put on house arrest with security placed at his door just for staying out.....even if they had to make an announcement at 4am waking up everyone on the ship....there is obviously much more to this story than was disclosed to the passengers.

 

I agree 100%, and too bad not everyone can have enough sense to know this. However, with sense, we wouldn't have such an active thread and the usual miserable antogonists. ;)

[SpeedGeek]

I agree 100%, and too bad not everyone can have enough sense to know this. However, with sense, we wouldn't have such an active thread and the usual miserable antogonists. ;)

 

:rolleyes:

 

I'm almost certain the Captain has discretion in these cases. So while perhaps unlikely, it is certainly not impossible.